CHAPTER THREE
Colton — 15 years old (Freshman year)
I can still hear Cole and Josie’s cries echoing in my ears. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever forget those horrified and haunted screams as the car drove into us. Or maybe we drove into the other car.
I blink, forcing myself to breathe. My lungs contract with such a force that I’m afraid they will fold in on themselves and my vision blurs.
I wish I could pretend everything is just a bad nightmare, but the pain in the back of my skull cruelly reminds me that it is real . My head feels like it is on the brink of exploding, the pain insistent and fierce. But I know it’s nothing compared to what Cole’s going through.
I heard the doctors talking.
Badly broken arm, three fractured ribs and a possible fractured skull.
My only consolation is that he’s passed out, so maybe he’s not in pain right now.
As for me, somehow, I’m okay.
Physically, I guess.
I don’t think anything is broken; except, my fucking head hurts like hell. But I’m the only one who walked away fine from the accident.
Josie…
I lick my lips and swallow down the acidic bile before I gag on it. Shit, I’m going to be sick. Why wasn’t she wearing a seat belt? Fuck.
I close my eyes, but there’s no escaping the bloody images of her. Her mangled body and swollen, disfigured face. The force of the impact had sent her flying through the windshield. I heard her petrified screams, and then complete silence.
Josie’s dead.
We killed her.
I don’t know, I can’t remember everything clearly. It all happened so fast. But I know one thing for sure, we shouldn’t have let Josie drive.
“I’m not drunk,” she argues. “I only had like two drinks. Maybe just a little tipsy.”
Cole shakes his head, reaching for the steering wheel. “Just stop the car, Josie. Let me drive.”
“You don’t even have a license.” She laughs, but there’s something off about it. Shit, Cole is right. But neither of us have our license yet. Cole would say this is the advantage of having an older girlfriend. Josie is sixteen; she just got her driver’s permit. But she definitely shouldn’t be driving right now.
“Stop. The. Car.”
Josie looks back at me through the rearview mirror. “Colton, talk some sense into your brother.”
“Cole is right,” I finally say, “stop on the side of the road. I’ll call Sienna and have her come and pick us up.”
“Oh c’mon. I thought you were the fun twin, Colton,” she practically croons.
“Josie!” Cole bellows. “NO!”
Before I can process what’s happening, I hear her horrified screams.
My brother calling out his girlfriend’s name in panic. The screech of tires. The feeling of being airborne. The sound of crushing glass and the distinct cracking of bones breaking.
Cole says my name. I have a vision of him reaching out to me.
Pain comes next…
Before the world goes black.
Cole didn’t want to go to the party. But after Maddox bailed on me at the last minute, I convinced Cole to go. Then Josie joined us, because she never says no to a party.
Now I wish we had never sneaked out.
This is my fault.
It’s my fault Josie is dead.
It’s my fault Cole is now in critical condition.
And what if he doesn’t make it?
No.
No, that can’t happen.
He’s my twin. I can’t lose him.
I can’t…lose him.
Cole always has my back. Maddox is my best friend, but Cole…he knows me. I thought it was always annoying how he could so easily read my every thought, but it’s a gift as much as it’s a curse.
They say every twin comes as a pair – an angel and a devil.
Cole is the good one. The mature, smart and responsible twin.
He has a possible football career ahead of him. Cole is a fucking genius.
I’m the fuck-up. The mistake, and the one that should have never happened. My father reminds me of that every chance he gets. Not that he loves Cole more. He’s not an affectionate or loving father to either of us. In fact, he’s a father by title only.
But he tolerates Cole more than me.
If someone has to die tonight, it needs to be me .
A hand cups my cheek, hurling me out of my thoughts. “I think you’re going to need stitches,” Sienna says, her fingers brushing along my hairline. Just below the bleeding gash. “You might have a concussion too. I’ll have the doctor check on you.”
“What about—
“He’s in surgery right now.”
“Will he be fine?” I choke out the question.
“I don’t know.” Sienna sits down next to me and grips my hand in hers. Her hand is cold and clammy. She has never been very touchy. In fact, we’re not close to Sienna. It’s weird having a stepmother who is half the age of your father, and barely ten years older than you. “What were you guys thinking ?”
I can hear the incredulous judgment in her voice, but I don’t respond. There’s something else gnawing at me. Something more important than the gash on my head and the possible concussion. “What about the other person?”
I don’t have to elaborate because Sienna knows who I’m referring to. The other driver.
She’s silent for a second, and my blood rushes between my ears. “He didn’t make it,” Sienna whispers, her voice slightly trembling.
The floor sways underneath me, and I’m glad I’m sitting down, or else I’d be flat on my ass on the ground. The throbbing in the back of my skull intensifies. The ache is acute and my body tenses as another spasm of pain wracks through my bruised body.
Guilt and regret.
I never thought guilt would be such a heavy burden to bear, but it feeds on itself. Guilt is ugly, regret is And it grows heavier and heavier.
Two people are dead tonight.
Because of one wrong decision.
All it took was a fraction of a second — that’s how fast our lives can change.
“You’re lucky you called me instead of nine-one-one,” Sienna continues. “Josie was drunk. You and Cole had both been drinking too. I was able to get you and Cole out of there before the cops got to the scene.”
For the first time in my life, real fear crawls through my veins. A bullet of panic rises in my throat as I run a hand over my face. “Are we in trouble?”
“You and Cole were not driving, so I don’t think you’ll be in any trouble. But there’s underage drinking in this scenario. And you knowingly got in the car with Josie while she was drunk. You could be charged with gross negligence or reckless disregard of others’ safety. But, then again, you are minors. So you might get away with this. It just depends on how this goes in court.” She shakes her head, her eyes darkening. “But I’m not worried about any of this right now.”
“What?”
She tsks, her expression reproachful. “Do you realize the scandal that would have happened to our family if you and Cole had been found at the scene of the accident?” Sienna quibbles. “Your father—
“Would have probably killed us, even if we had survived the accident.”
And that’s a fact.
If he didn’t kill us, he’d most likely disown us.
Sienna sighs softly, and squeezes my hand. I’m not sure how I feel about her affection. She’s not really mother material. And the last woman who was more of a mother to Cole and me left without a second glance. “I don’t think he’s that cruel.”
A humorless laugh bubbles from my throat. “I know what he’s capable of.”
“He’s out of the country for two weeks. He doesn’t need to find out about what happened.”
That makes me pause, a flicker of uncertainty filling me with anxiety. “What are you talking about?”
“I got you and Cole out before the cops and paramedics got to the scene. No one knows you were in that car with Josie except your two and me. And no one else has to know. The truth of this night stays among us.” She pauses, and her lips twitch with a faint, encouraging smile. But unease slides through my veins, and my chest tightens with something I can’t really explain. It’s almost like a feeling of dread, but I don’t know why . “Josie was driving the car. She’s dead, and the other driver is dead too.”
Sienna mentioning their deaths reminds me of how Cole and I have just evaded the unthinkable and yet Josie was not that lucky. Neither was the other person.
Is this what they call fate?
But how cruel can it be?
I lick my lips as my skull throbs with another dull pain. “What about the E.R. doctor who’s treating us?”
“He’s a friend of mine. I have connections, Colton. I can cover this up, and it will be as if nothing ever happened.” Sienna releases my hand and cups my cheeks with her palms. Her skin is clammy over my too-warm flesh. My body is overheated, and I let out a guttural wheeze.
“I can protect you and Cole,” Sienna vows with certainty. “Just trust me, okay?”
My lungs seem to succumb under my rapid breathing, making me wonder if I might be hyperventilating.
Consumed with paranoia and paralyzed by fear, all I can do is breathe, “O-okay.”
I’ve never had to depend on anyone before. Sure, Cole has always been there to back me up. But we’re brothers — twins, and we always have each other’s back.
Sienna finally lets go of my face and wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into her embrace. Her fingers curl around the nape of my neck. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of everything.”
I close my eyes, and for the first time, I pray. With a heart full of dread and fear, with apprehension and uncertainty crawling through my veins.
Please let Cole be okay.
Please let him live.