CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Colton — 18 years old
I move the last of the boxes into the apartment, the door closing behind me with a click.
Well, I guess it’s time to unpack. But, of course, Maddox fucking bails on me during moving day to help Lila instead. Pussy-whipped fucker.
I can hear the clatter of voices next door as I open the fridge and take out an energy drink. Riley and Lila will be living next door to us. We’re neighbors now. Of course Maddox would want to keep Lila close to him…but this means I will be seeing the little wallflower everyday now. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.
The last time Riley and I spoke with each other was the night of my party, when her boyfriend punched me in the face. Though I don’t blame him, because I would have done the same thing if I were in his place.
The regret set in the next morning, when I was sober, and self-loathing crawled under my flesh. I had been feeding the green monster inside me, with fury and resentment toward everything and everyone. The bitterness in me had really been cruel that night.
But Riley wants absolutely nothing to do with me now. Maddox has warned me to stay away from her, unless I want to face Lila’s wrath. She’s a tad overprotective of her best friend.
Taking a long sip of my drink, I make my way to the black leather couch. New town, new place…four hours and 220 miles away from the hell that I call home.
Damn, it’s nice to finally leave. Gratifying indeed. The freedom that comes with it fills me with pure fucking bliss and infinite reprieve. I don’t have to see Sienna’s face everyday and I won’t have to hear my father’s constant yapping about how pathetic me and my life decisions are.
This new place, a luxurious two-bedroom apartment that Maddox and I share, is quiet and smells of new paint. My eyes close, enjoying the tranquility that comes with my new-found freedom. For the first time in many years, I finally feel relaxed.
Cole is off to Yale, and he’s damn happy about it. I don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s healing, I see it in his eyes now. The guilt he bore from the accident slowly being lifted from his shoulders. The depressive phase he went through because of his limp…he’s grown to accept he will never be able to play football again. There are five stages of grief, indeed, and my twin went through all of them.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.
And lastly, Cole is safe and away from Sienna’s vile intentions. Her focus had shifted over the last year. I guess she found a new man who piqued her interest, her shiny new toy. Another guy trapped in her webs of lies and manipulations.
Cole and I waited for two years for this day…
And it’s finally here.
Fuck yeah.
My phone rings, snapping me out of my thoughts. I answer the call without looking at who it is. “Yes?” I hear rustling in the background and then Maddox’s voice comes through.
“Lila and Riley want to go out for dinner. They are curious to check out the restaurants around us. You wanna come along?”
I take another sip of my drink. “No, I’m good. I’ll order in.”
“Cool.”
I end the call and tuck my phone away. Leaning my head back against the couch, I close my eyes. The apartment is quiet, except for the sound of my breathing. I stretch my legs out in front of me, my feet knocking a box over, but I don’t even bother opening my eyes.
I haven’t slept in over forty-eight hours.
But I can feel my body collapsing now, exhaustion clawing at my bones.
The silence lulls me to sleep, and when you finally have peace for the first time in your life, it’s the best fucking sleep you can have.
***
The sound of the doorbell, followed by a knock, pulls me from my slumber.
I groan, sitting up and rubbing my sore neck. Shit, what time is it? I can’t remember the last time I passed out like this.
My body and mind only shut down like this if I go at least two days without a wink of sleep. But even then, I have to workout vigorously, pushing my body beyond exhaustion until my mind crumbles into a fretful sleep. I was never diagnosed with insomnia, because I never went to see a therapist. I can’t stand those fucking sleeping pills either.
I found a way to cope with my lack of sleep though— pushing my body beyond its limits has always been what could get me to doze off. Even if it’s only for a couple hours.
I don’t think I’ve ever slept for more than four hours at a time.
I climb to my feet, frowning when I hear the knock again. Did Maddox forget his keys?
The knock comes again, and in two long strides, I make it to the door, opening it to whoever disturbed my sleep. My throat closes at the sight of Sienna standing outside my apartment and I almost choke on my spit. My mouth clamps shut, the muscles in my jaw tensing.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, in a hardened voice.
Sienna smiles coyly, her hand brushing over my chest as she pushes past me to come inside. “I had a meeting for the new clothing brand I’m sponsoring. And since I was already in town, I thought I’d come for a visit.”
Coldness seeps into my veins.
Sienna’s eyes sweep over my apartment, taking everything in. She drops her handbag on my leather couch. “You haven’t unpacked yet?”
“No,” I deadpan.
She smiles, and it makes me hostile. “Aren’t you going to offer me a drink or something, Colton? Your mother has come over to visit for the first time and you’re so cold .”
“You’re not my mother.” I growl, my lungs caving within my rib cage.
My mother is dead; my father killed her in front of my own eyes.
And the only other woman who ever showed me and Cole motherly affection left us without a second glance when she realized how truly dreadful our father is.
Sienna’s creepy smile widens. “You’re right.” She slowly advances toward me, her heels clicking over the newly-polished hardwood flooring. Once she’s close enough, Sienna reaches out and her fingertips brush against my bare chest. I don’t move.
I can’t move.
“Have you been lonely, Colton?” she purrs, leaning into me. “Do you miss me as much as I miss you?” She drags her nails down my abdomen and my muscles constrict at her touch. “No man does it the way you do, baby.”
My arm snakes out and I fist her hair, pulling her head back roughly. She lets out a giggle that I hate so damn much. “I know you like it hard. Is this foreplay?”
Anger and disgust roll through me. My fingers dig into her scalp, and she winces, her eyes flashing with pain. “I’m older now, Sienna. I know better and you can’t manipulate me anymore. I won’t let you. Your game is over,” I hiss menacingly. Bitch.
“You don’t want to, but you will anyway. Because I am a part of you now, Colton. You never forget your first and I am more than just your first.” Her hand moves to my dick and she cups me crudely, rubbing me through my jeans. I release her hair, my hand moving to grip her wrist, halting her from touching me further. “I am the woman who taught you everything you know now. Every time you touch another girl, you will think of me . I’m in your head, baby.”
“Am I interrupting something?”
The familiar voice has Sienna pulling away from me and I recoil back in shock. Looking over Sienna’s shoulders, I see Maddox standing by the door, his brows furrowed with question. Did he hear us? No…did he see ? Sienna’s back was to the door, so there’s no way he saw her cupping my dick.
Our eyes lock and he stares at me tensely. I can’t read his body language because he’s giving nothing away.
“Oh.” Sienna gasps, her hand fluttering to her chest. “Hello there, Maddox. Of course you’re not interrupting. I was just visiting Colton and telling him how lonely the house feels without him and Cole there. Their father is always so busy and I’ve grown used to their presence at home. But now everything feels so empty without my boys there.”
She’s the perfect image of a doting stepmother.
But it’s all a lie.
Fuck that.
Maddox nods, accepting her lies. My lungs squeeze as he walks past me. “I’m gonna crash,” he mutters, going to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.
Sienna lets out a sigh of relief, her breath leaving her throat in a loud whoosh. Her gaze sweeps over my body again, lingering longer over my bare chest. She licks her lips. “Come back with me to my hotel,” she demands suggestively. “You know you want to.”
I’d rather fucking drown.
Sienna reaches toward me again, her hand moving to my shoulders. She pushes her tits against my chest, her red lips pouting. “Colton,” she croons again, “now, now. I know you’re not shy. We’re so good together. Why ruin the fun?”
Suddenly she’s pulled away from me and all I hear is her screech of outrage. I stumble back, my eyes widening at the sight of Maddox dragging Sienna by the hair. “I should have fucking known ,” he snarls. I forget how to breathe.
He pulls her up, twisting her hair around his wrist until her toes are hanging off the floor, and he shakes her like she’s a broken doll “You hideous bitch.”
My body grows cold.
My heart stammers.
Breathe, you sad-fuck.
“Colton,” she shrieks, flailing helplessly. “He’s hurting me! Let go of my hair, Maddox!”
“Nah, I have zero tolerance for bitches like you. You’re done, Sienna.” He brings his face closer to her, staring down at her with pure menace in his eyes. “If I ever see you around here again, I will ruin you. Don’t think I won’t do it because you’re Henry’s wife. I will ruin you and end your fucking existence. If it will be as if you never existed. Do you understand me?” he spits, his body tense with barely concealed rage.
“How dare you?” she cries out, her face twisting with dread.
“Without Henry, you’re nothing, you pathetic bitch. And guess what? He doesn’t give a shit about you. If you bring a scandal to his door, he’ll be the first person to kick your ugly ass to the curb. You should be terrified. ”
Sienna makes a choked sound in the back of her throat. Her face pales, and she looks utterly horrified. Her fear is palpable, her body shaking and her eyes panic-stricken.
The bitterness and the rage that reside in me fester under my flesh, digging themselves into my bones and melding into every particle of my existence.
She’s caught.
Her lies have been unveiled.
My brain shuts down.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.
He continues to drag her by the hair, tossing her out of our shared apartment. “You’re done here. Don’t fucking try me or I will show you what a Coulter is capable of. That’s not a threat, Sienna. It’s a goddamn promise. Make sure I never see your face again.”
Maddox slams the door, spinning on his feet to face me, as the floor sways underneath me. My legs give out, all the strength dissipating from my body as I slump down on the couch.
What…just happened?
He rakes his fingers through his messy blond hair, pacing back and forth in front of me. “How long has this been going on?”
I blink.
There’s a dull pain in my sternum. My stomach revolts, and I suddenly feel sick.
“Since after the accident,” I tell him, my tone emotionless.
“Jesus Christ. You were fifteen.” His fists clench at his sides. “I knew something changed after the accident; you were different. I just never understood why. I thought it was because you were feeling guilty about Cole. But she’s the reason you’re like this …so angry all the time. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Tell him? I blink again. “Why would I do that?”
“She took advantage of y—”
“Don’t,” I warn, shaking my head. “I knew what I was doing. I went into this willingly. I wasn’t a fucking child.”
Maddox scowls. “Sienna knew what she was doing. She was the adult, Colton.”
“I’m not brainwashed,” I snarl, hot shame coursing through me.
“No, you’re not. But you are in denial.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I squeeze my eyes shut. “Just… stop , Maddox. Thank you for what you did, for tossing her out when I couldn’t. But it’s over. It was over before you even stepped in.” I open my eyes again. “We haven’t fucked in over six months and I wasn’t going to indulge her tonight either.”
His jaw snaps close, and I can hear his molars grinding. I’ve never seen him this furious before. “I would never hit a woman, but if I ever see her around you again, I might just break her face.” Maddox stalks forward, coming to sit beside me. “You’re my goddamn brother , Colton. I’m not going to sit here and act like I just didn’t find out the real reason behind your callousness.”
“Leave it, Maddox. I’m fine .” My father might have called me worthless and pathetic, and maybe I am all of those things, but I’m not fragile.
I’m not weak.
Sienna didn’t break me.
Because she can’t break what’s already been broken.
The first touch of darkness filled my soul the day I watched my mother’s neck snap when my father pushed her down the stairs.
“Shit, I didn’t think it would be possible to develop hate for someone this quickly.” Maddox growls under his breath.
I let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, I hate her too.”
Heavy silence fills the room. Our elbows are touching, and after a long minute, Maddox releases a low exhale. “I wish you had told me.”
I lean my head back, closing my eyes. “It’s over now,” I mutter tiredly.
It was always my burden to carry.