Chapter Fifty-Four
It’s happening. It’s actually happening!
I’m getting married.
Hard to believe, but yes, soon I will be a doctor’s wife.
After a whole ten days of planning—yes, that’s sarcasm. Who plans a wedding in ten days??
Well, a serial killer and his low-key wicked doctor fiancé, that’s who.
The rules of regular life don’t really apply here.
Alabaster Isle is exempt from reality, which is something I’ve come to realize about a hundred times over the course of residing here, both before and after the fall.
Things that would seem bizarre or ridiculous in the outside world are normalized here.
Maybe that’s why I like it so much. I can be myself here. A freak of nature, with my normal-on-the-outside man.
That said, since the war ended, and we were all freed from the shackles of the prison and The Ivory, together in one fell swoop thanks to Team Velle, I’ve been itching to get off this rock and actually go somewhere. Anywhere else, really, but preferably some place foreign and exotic.
I remember those dreams I used to have, about traveling with a partner… Lem hasn’t traveled much in his life either. So we’ve agreed that after the wedding, we’ll venture out into the world and start traveling. Kicking off with our honeymoon.
Oh man! I can’t wait. I’m so excited, I’m freaking giddy!
The next few days are going to be a whirlwind, and I just have to remember to stop and savor it.
That’s the advice I got from the very few married people I asked. It’s actually strange how few of my friends and the people who surround me are, or have ever been married. My best friends are all engaged—except Byron and Trevel, but I see it happening fairly soon. They’re obsessed.
But as far as actual happily married people, it was pretty much just Joy’s dad.
Yes, I spoke to Finn Jameson before he left. I was on a mission to ask for advice from people who have been married, because I want to make sure I’m doing it right.
I want to be a good husband, and since I’ve always determined how to act by observing people, I figured the same would apply here.
Finn was the one who told me to be present on my wedding day, after I asked him for advice.
“Make sure yeh stop,” he’d said while we sat in the garden together; me, him and his crew, Joy, Rook, and Velle. And of course, my soon to be husband. “Take a breath, look at yer spouse, and smile. Because ye’ll never get another moment just like that one again.”
Lem and I shared a purely sappy look that made my heart feel weightless.
Joy smiled and swooned, “Aww! Daddy, that’s so—”
“And head,” Finn added. “Lots of head.”
Rook and Velle burst into hysterical laughter.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Joy sighed, rubbing her eyes.
Then there was Dash’s dad, who was by no means happily married. But still, he’d been married, so I figured why not?
His advice was much less… positive.
“Be prepared in the event that you grow to loathe one another,” Alexander Reznikov had grumbled. “It is much harder to get out of than it is to get into.”
Dash simply rolled his eyes while I blinked and awkwardly gawked. Grim or not, it did sound kinda cool in his thick Russian accent.
Outside of the dads, there was my family. Only Rook and Kemper have been married. Again, neither ending well.
“Don’t marry a woman,” Kemper had said with a slap to my back.
“Don’t marry someone you aren’t head over heels for,” Rook sort of corrected. “I know that’s not a problem for you two. So I guess, just… always be honest with one another. No matter the cost, no matter how you think they’ll react. Honesty in a marriage is key.”
I liked that one, smiling at him graciously. Lem was sort of staring off into space, but when I squeezed his hand, he peeked back down at me and gave me one of his content little grins.
I’m sure he’s nervous. I know I am, though not about being married. I can’t wait to be his husband. It’s more the act of standing up in front of everyone and displaying the jagged scars of our love.
But I also don’t really care how it looks to anyone else. Because this is for us.
Now, if only we could pull this wedding off without too many issues…
Unforeseen circumstances are to be expected, but the things we can control, I’d like to have a handle on.
The Ivory is paying for everything, regardless of his not being physically present.
Food and beverage shipments have been coming over for days, but then that’s sort of been happening all week, anyway.
Things have been changing here; people leaving, others staying. Supplies are coming in constantly, not just for the wedding but for everyday life. All thanks to the wealthy criminal former owner of this place.
Two days after the war ended, Ivory and Angel disappeared. We woke up the morning after the bonfire to them having left without a word. It was like they just vanished into thin air, which certainly fit The Ivory’s mysterious illusionist persona.
It wasn’t much of a shock to anyone, yet it was oddly depressing.
We’d all become rather fond of Angel in the limited time we had him around.
Ivory was a tougher sell, but he really seemed like a new man after his little bird captured his heart.
I was sad to see them go, especially before the wedding.
Either way, my number one concern right now is that the wedding is in less than twelve hours and my best man still hasn’t arrived…
I knew it’d be tough for Dash to come all the way back from Tulum after barely a week, but he promised he’d do it for me, and that he wouldn’t miss my wedding for the world. I have to take him at his word, but every hour that passes without his arrival, or even an update, has me stressing.
“He’ll be here,” Luthor assures me while we sit in the garden, beneath the stars and the crumbling stone archway where, in just a few short hours, I’ll be marrying the man of my dreams. “You know he wouldn’t just not show. That’s not him.”
“Yea, he’s very dedicated leaving and coming back to this island,” Byron snickers.
“I know, you’re right.” I chew on my lower lip. “I’m just worried. I don’t want him to stress himself out…”
“You mean you don’t want your best man falling into a hole of psychosis during the ceremony?” Ren teases.
“Babe,” Luthor scolds. “That’s fucked up. He’s our friend, and it’s a terrible mental illness—”
“I know, I’m kidding.” Ren rolls his eyes. “God, you’re so sensitive. We all know Dascha is a fucking champion. If anyone can rally and show up to crush it, it’s him. The part I’m the most bummed about is him missing the bachelor party.” He pouts.
Luthor and Byron both actively scoff.
“This isn’t really a bachelor party,” I grumble at him for the millionth time.
It’s not. We’re just casually hanging out, having some wine and dessert.
We have the mansion to ourselves—at least this area—since the Velle trio and Trevel took Lemuel out for his own not-a-bachelor-party on the yacht.
It’s a little cold for it, but the yacht is huge and super fancy, so it has a very nice inside too.
“You keep saying that…” Ren grins wickedly. “But if it’s not a bachelor party… then why are there strippers?!” He shouts and claps his hands together.
Out of nowhere, White Wedding by Billy Idol starts playing.
And now I’m scared.
“What the fuck?!” Byron cackles.
Ren is glaring into the atrium while the rest of us look around, bemused.
“I said strippers!” He calls out, rolling his eyes.
“This is humiliating,” a familiar grumbling voice comes from behind us.
And then in strides Jasper. In his uniform, though the shirt is barely buttoned, and the pants have been replaced by some very skimpy shorts.
“What the fuck!?” Byron and I both gasp this time.
Luthor is toppling over.
“Jacob! You agreed,” Ren snaps. “Now get that sexy ass over here. And where’s Thing 2??”
“You mean Special Agent Dick Packer?!” Hancock shimmies his way over to us in the same outfit, immediately tearing the shirt off.
I shriek out loud, slapping my hands over my mouth.
We. Are. Howling.
“These boys are here to arrest you for being a bad boy,” Ren croons.
“I’ve already been arrested, and it was nothing like this,” I giggle.
“We’re gonna take you downtown, Carver,” Hancock sings, shaking his ass in my face.
“This is the most amazing moment of my life!” Byron can barely breathe, he and Luthor clutching one another while they struggle to breathe.
“I’m fucking mortified,” Jasper grunts.
“Here, Detective Grumpybritches, let me help you out.” Hancock sneers, tearing Jasper’s shirt open and ripping it off of him.
My eyes go wide.
“Okay, this just got super hot,” Byron mumbles, having gone serious.
Ren is resting his chin on his hands. “Give us a show, boys. I’ll make it worth your while.”
“I am not fucking in front of you,” Jasper huffs while Hancock grinds on him.
“No, yea, please… don’t.” I bite my lip, attempting to stow my appreciation for these two hot, barely clothed dudes with severely impressive bodies grinding on each other right in front of me.
Because I’m getting married tomorrow and it’s not right.
But I mean… it’s fine to watch, isn’t it? It’s my sort of bachelor party…
Hancock gives Jasper the shove back until he’s seated on the step, then straddles him.
Okay… fuck.
When it starts getting a little too hot, they wrench apart and clear their throats.
“No more,” Hancock, rumbles.
Jumping up, he adjusts himself, helping Jasper up. Jasper grins, pressing a kiss on his jaw.
“You’re too cute for real life,” he whispers.
“Awww!” Ren croons. “You fuckers better hope I don’t find out where you’re going after this, because I will follow you.”
They simply shake their heads while Byron and Luthor clap for their little strip show ruined by their boundless chemistry. And then we all jump up, and dance like weirdos to Dancing With Myself.
It’s amazing. A purely perfect non-bachelor-party.
But in the back of my mind, I am sad Dash missed it. I just hope he’s okay.