Chapter 54
Louis
“Lou? Are you home?” Oh, he’s early today. My heart skips a beat. Since David joined the company, he’s been working some really crazy hours, but his father wants to retire in two years, and he wants to be prepared.
I was lucky. After my practical exam, I got a job at a Gymnasium in our region and we moved back. Back to where it all began. The hardest part was actually leaving our team, but with work, neither of us would have had the capacity to practice as intensely anymore.
Nevertheless, we miss the guys. Every now and then, we travel to games on the weekend and cheer them on.
When they need us, we also jump in. Even though we no longer practice with them, we are both still registered and can’t seem to leave that part of ourselves behind.
We practice with another team twice a week, but we don’t play in their games.
While David’s mother is still difficult, his father is one of our biggest supporters.
Thanks to him we got the house we’ve been living in for two years now, even if he would never say so himself.
I am warmly invited to business dinners and company parties, and I accompany David to most of them.
Wolfgang Strasser proudly introduces his son and me to business partners, always with the same words: “May I introduce you to my son David, who will soon be taking over the business here. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact him at any time. And this is his partner, Louis Delfosse.”
David’s mother emphasizes a little too often for my taste that being gay is no longer an issue these days, but honestly, that’s peanuts.
Being openly gay as a teacher requires a thick skin, especially at the beginning.
Kids can be cruel, and teenagers can be devastating, but it has always been important to me to be authentic.
Hiding who I am was never an option for me.
After six months, even the last student realized that they could have a good time with me as long as we all treat each other with a certain level of mutual respect.
In short, we’re doing well. We renovated an old three-family house and converted it into a spacious single-family home.
Both David’s parents and mine contributed generously to the financing, which would have been difficult on our own.
We feel very comfortable here and we know that we don’t want to live here alone in the future.
“Lou?”
“Hey, babe!” I dash down the last few steps and throw my arms around David. Yes, I know, it’s been a day, not a week, but hey.
After dinner, we sit on the terrace with a beer, David’s hand in my curls, and I enjoy his closeness. We didn’t see each other for five years, and we’ve been back together for five years now. Sometimes, very secretly, I shake my head in disbelief and pinch myself somewhere.
“We’re having visitors later. Did I tell you that?” I feverishly search my memory for that moment, but there’s nothing.
“Not really but okay? Who’s coming?”
“Everyone.”
Is he serious? “Who is everyone?”
David looks at me with complete innocence. Most of the time he is, but today there’s something else flickering in his eyes. He’s up to something. Should I be scared?
“Well, everyone. Your family, mine. Friends. Sixteen people.”
We don’t have any food or drinks. “What do you want to offer for drinks? Tap water? We don’t have anything!”
David is still sitting behind me, completely relaxed.
“When?”
“A few minutes. But first I wanted to discuss something with you. I love you and I love this house, but there’s one thing that’s just not right. It’s been bothering me since we moved in.”
Surprised, I raise my eyebrows. We’ve been living here for two years, why is he only bringing this up now?
“I don’t like our doorbell sign.”
Is he serious? The doorbell sign?
“The font? The color? What exactly is your problem?” I hear myself; my tone is a little snappy. We’re about to have a house full of people and he wants to talk about the doorbell sign. Timing is everything.
But David doesn’t seem bothered at all, he just smiles gently. “The look is actually quite good. The content is the problem.”
It’s a doorbell sign; the content isn’t negotiable.
“I have an alternative, wait a second.” He pulls a small silver sign out of his back pocket. Black lettering in a sans serif font, but just one name.
My heart sinks into my stomach. Panic brings tears to my eyes. “You want to move out? Why?” How can he still sit here as if everything is fine?
David decisively pushes me aside, stands up and I immediately miss his warmth.
I want to hold him back; this time I won’t let him disappear into thin air so easily.
This time I’ll fight, this time... he takes my face in his hands and kisses me.
With that gentle tenderness that is so characteristic of him, that is so familiar to me. Okay, that’s good, right?
“Usually you’re not so slow, Lou. What’s wrong?” With these words, he lets go of my cheeks and takes my hands. Slowly, he sinks to one knee, and it dawns on me. One name. My name. For both of us.
“Lou, I don’t want to lay out our whole history here.
But we’ve known each other for a damn long time, and whether we were together or not, there hasn’t been a second in all those years that I haven’t loved you.
There were times when I hoped it would stop because it hurt so damn much.
There were times when I was sure that no matter how much I loved you, I couldn’t.
There were times when I hoped you didn’t love me anymore, just so it wouldn’t hurt so much that I was to blame for all this mess.
A scenario like this was unthinkable for us for so long, and yet here we are now. ”
I’m crying, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“No, I definitely don’t want to move out of here.
I love you more than anything and anyone else.
If I had to choose between you and the rest of the world, I would always choose you.
” David’s green eyes sparkle and his voice trembles, but he smiles, looks at me, and holds me tight.
There is nothing but endless love, no more fear, no question marks, no what-ifs, no uncertainties that have dominated our relationship for so long.
We are together, here and now, strong and full of confidence.
We know that life isn’t always fair; we’ve had to learn that the hard way over the last few years.
But no matter what life has planned for us, we can handle it.
“Ask me already. Or do you enjoy keeping me waiting?”
“A little. But actually, I’m just enjoying the view right now.” David grins sheepishly and brushes a curl off my forehead. “Will you marry me?”
My forehead sinks to his, I need to feel him. I know that our garden has filled with people in the last few minutes, but this moment is just for us, and my answer is only for him, for the man I love more than anything.
“Yes.”