Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Nadia
K ensi, Aftermath and I made it back to the Clubhouse a few hours later. Aftermath carried my bags into the room and left Kensi and me alone. Completely exhausted but still needing to take a shower, Kensi helps me into the bathroom and turns the shower on for me. I didn’t see Matt or my brother when we walked through and I remember they were together when I was rescued.
“Kensi?”
“Yes, Nadia?”
I hesitate to ask the question on the tip of my tongue, but curiosity wins out. “What can you tell me about Matt?”
Kensi’s brow scrunches, thinking hard. “Matt? Do you mean, Red?” I nod my head. “He is the Royal Bastards’ Tech guy. He has mad computer skills, but he is very shy and everything makes him blush. I don’t know much more about him than that. He pretty much keeps to himself and stays holed up in his communications room.”
“Why is he called Red?” It’s a strange road name but who am I to judge? Kensi raises an eyebrow at my question and realization dawns on me. I thought his blush was cute at first and when we became more intimate, I found it attractive for some reason. “Oh. All the time?”
Kensi nods her head, “Yes, all the time. Aftermath and I could be giving each other a hug and Red would blush.” She shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal.
“What’s his story?”
“That I couldn’t tell you because, like I said, he stays to himself and never opened up to me about his past.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not giving up on me and thinking I left without a word. Kensi, you are the closest person I have to a friend. I’d even go as far as saying you’re my best friend.”
Kensi draws me into a hug and I stiffen at first before relaxing against her hold. “I knew something was wrong the day Josiah tried to kill me. I never gave up on searching for you. You are my best friend too and Nadia, no matter what happened or what will happen, you will always have a place here with me.”
Not realizing I needed to hear those words, I let out a sob. My malnourished frame shakes in Kensi’s hold and I can’t stop it. I cry for the abuse the other women went through, I cry for the abuse those assholes inflicted upon my body and I cry for the way we are all changed after this and will never be the same. After a few minutes of crying in Kensi’s embrace, I sniff and straighten my spine.
“I need a shower. Can you give me some time?”
“Sure. Just holler if you need anything.” Kensi opens the bathroom door. She turns around before leaving. “Oh, and the doc these guys have on hand will be here later to look you over. Just in case Derange missed something.” I nod my head and Kensi closes the door behind her.
I pull the t-shirt over my head and lower the sweatpants Kensi gave me to wear and I step into the shower to let the hot water wash away all the dirt, blood and grime from my body and hair. Once the water turns from a murky brown to clear, and my skin is red, I turn the shower off and carefully dry the bruises and cuts on my skin. I wrap another towel around my hair and study myself in the mirror. My bones are sticking out but my belly has a slight bump and my breasts are full and sore.
I carefully slide on the clean clothes Kensi brought in for me and open the bathroom door. Kensi is sitting on the bed with a brush in her hand and a smile gracing her lips. Her multi-colored eyes are shining with happiness. Something I haven’t seen since I’ve known her. A small smile graces my lips as I carefully step into the bedroom. I sit on the bed with my back facing Kensi and let her brush my tangled hair. After carefully getting the knots out, she creates two French braids on each side of my head.
We catch up on everything that has been going on since I went missing and some crazy shit she’s gotten herself into. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. “Kensi, I can tell Aftermath is good for you. I’m happy you finally found someone who completes you.” I hold her hand tight in mine, wanting to confess my secret. I keep my lips sealed shut. Red has a right to know first before anyone else.
Kensi squeezes my hand back. “Thank you. He is pretty great. All these guys here are great and I know one particular one that has probably been pacing outside the hallway since they came back. Do you want to talk to him before you see the doctor?”
I shake my head, “I would like to talk to the doctor first. Is he here?” Even thinking it’s a male doctor shakes me to my core, but I need to see them sooner rather than later.
“She is here, yes. After everything you’ve been through, Capone wouldn’t let a male doctor in here. Do you want me to stay?”
“No, I need to do this on my own,” I answer.
“OK, I will be out in the common room if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to ask.” Kensi climbs off the bed and opens the door. I spot Red standing at the entryway, taking up the entire door frame. His pale blue eyes lock on mine and they soften making my heart skip a beat.
Suddenly a slender, feisty brunette shoves Red out of the way and slams the door in his face. I wince, waiting for him to barge in here and do something to her. When it doesn’t come, I release my breath and rest my head against the headboard.
“Hello, Nadia. My name is Emma Lynn and I’m an OB/GYN.” Emma’s thick Irish accent has me captivated. “I’m a friend of the Royal Bastards and would like to check you over. Is that ok?”
I nod my head, “Yes, that’s fine.”
Emma gives me a bright smile that eases my nerves. “Wonderful. Anything you would like to tell me about? Any medical conditions, allergies?” I shake my head no. Emma listens to my lungs and wraps a cuff around my arm. “When was your last period?”
I hesitate and she waits patiently for me to answer while looking over the burn marks on my wrists from the ropes and chains those assholes used. “Four months ago.” I place a protective hand over my stomach, keeping this secret safe.
Without batting an eye, Emma smiles. “Have you seen anyone about this?”
I shake my head. “I was taken before I knew I was pregnant. I figured it out a few weeks after they took me and it became real when I was losing weight from not being fed enough but my belly was still growing if that makes sense.”
“Yes, that makes perfect sense, which is why I want to start an IV and get your nutrients up.” She gently rubs my arm, making me flinch. I’m still not used to physical contact. “Is it OK if I get an ultrasound machine in here? I’d like to see how far along you are and take measurements, just to make sure you and the baby are healthy.”
“Yes. But can it wait a little while? I’m getting my appetite back and need to rest. Also, no one here knows about this yet. I’d like to keep it between the two of us for as long as possible.” I confess. “I want to tell the father about it before anyone else knows.”
“Your secret is safe with me. I will have to tell Capone something when an ultrasound machine comes here, but you let me worry about that. It will take a few hours for it to get here anyway. Let me give you some cream for your cuts and scrapes and some prenatal vitamins to start right away.” Emma pulls a tube of cream and a bottle of prenatal vitamins out of her doctor’s bag and sets them on the nightstand. She gently takes my wrists and I don’t flinch. She applies the cream which instantly soothes the burn marks and starts an IV on the back of my hand.
“Thank you, Doc Emma. I appreciate it.” I hold back the tears burning my throat. It’s been so long since anyone has been kind to me besides Kensi and Matt, I don’t know how to handle my emotions.
“You’re welcome, Nadia. Take two of these,” Emma shakes out two prenatal vitamins and hands them to me with a bottle of water. “Get some rest and I will come back to check on your IV drip when the machine is here.”
“Thank you, again.” I lay down and close my eyes, drifting off to sleep.
Sweat drips from my brow as I hide in the shadows of the changing room at the strip club. A masked man enters the doorway and the evil radiating from him makes the hairs stand on the back of my neck. I crouch lower, trying to make myself smaller under a desk at the back of the changing room. Wishing I would have stayed closer to the door for an easier escape, I released a shaky breath. The heavy footsteps draw closer to my hiding spot and fear crawls its way up my spine.
“Where the fuck are you?” The man growls. I don’t move a muscle or breathe as he steps closer. He’s so close now, I can smell the whiskey radiating off his pores. I try to calm my racing heart because I swear he can hear it. His boots move further away from me and I exhale quietly. He stops walking and silence fills the room. He begins walking again, his footsteps echoing through the changing room.
“I know you’re in here, Nadia. Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I hold in a gasp when he says my name and he keeps walking away from me. I uncurl my body from underneath the desk as quietly as I can. Sweat drips from my skin at the same time fear crawls through my body, making me shiver. I peek over the desk and I don’t see him anywhere. I listen for a beat before moving. It’s now or never. I slowly and quietly move away from the desk, keeping low to the ground and my breathing even. It’s a long and slow process, but I keep going. My legs are burning, my lungs are screaming at me for air and my body is trembling from fear.
“Nadia, I’m going to find you.” The male voice sing-songs further down the changing room.
I quietly and carefully reach the door, he’s still not in sight. My fingers shake as I reach for the doorknob and it takes me a couple of tries to turn it. When I do, I push it open quietly and breathe a sigh of relief. Only that moment is short-lived.
“There you are.” A new voice growls in my ear at the same time one hand clamps around my mouth and the other around my waist. I scream into the palm but it’s muffled and he squeezes me hard. My breathing becomes ragged as I’m dragged back into the changing room. “Boss, I’ve got her.” The man squeezes me harder, making me gasp for breath.
The male voice that was taunting me, comes around a corner and my heart sinks into my toes. Shit, this is bad, this is really, really bad. Lattimer, my boss, approaches me with fury written all over his cold, black eyes. He squeezes my jaw, pulling my face toward his.
He inhales and I shudder. “You smell nice, Nadia. You’re going to make a great one.” He shoves my head back and I try to wiggle out of the other person’s hold. It’s no use, he has a cobra-like grip around my waist, squeezing the life out of me. I stop struggling long enough for his grip to loosen and I use that to my advantage. I bring my head back as hard as I can, trying to connect it to his nose, but he shifts his head at the last second and I hit his cheek instead.
“I like you feisty, bitch. Keep fighting me, Nadia. It makes me hard.” The man holding me presses his crotch against my ass and I freeze when I feel his hardness.
“Josiah, we can’t do that to this one.” Lattimer pinches the bridge of his nose. “If she’s damaged more than bruising, I’ll shoot you myself.”
Josiah, the bouncer from the strip club? What is happening here? Why are they doing this? “Why?” I ask through bated breath.
“Why not?” Lattimer shrugs his shoulders. “Money, power, does it really matter? All that matters is someone paid a hefty fee for you and I intend to take you to them.” Lattimer steps so close, that I can smell the whiskey on his breath as he grabs my face again and squeezes painfully. “Don’t even think about trying to escape. Josiah might not be able to fuck your tight holes, but he will fuck with your mind.”
“You will never fuck with my head.” I try fighting Josiah’s hold on me again. He’s so much stronger than me and he slams my head into a set of lockers. Blood drips down my face but I keep fighting. I kick, punch, elbow, scratch and stomp every body part I can reach.
“You bitch.” Josiah drops me onto the ground and I crawl backward away from him as fast as I can. His big hand reaches for my foot, but I kick it away. I don’t know where Lattimer is, but he is the last of my concerns. I’m still crab-crawling backward when I hit something hard with my back. I look up and into the deadly eyes of Lattimer. He leans forward with a syringe in his hand and jabs it into my neck. I scream as loud as I can as my world goes dark.
I wake up screaming with sweat pouring down my face and tears rolling down my cheeks. My breathing is rapid and my heart feels like it’s going to pound right out of my chest when a warm set of arms and a soft male voice soothes me. My skin is clammy and the blankets are tangled around my legs. I turn my head to see who is trying to help me when my gaze lands on a pair of soft blue eyes, staring back at me with concern.
“Matt?” I ask, trying to clear my sore throat.
“It’s me, Pulchra. It’s ok. I’ve got you.” He brushes the sweaty hair away from my face and gently cups my cheek. “They can’t hurt you anymore.”
He leans closer to me like he wants to wrap me in his arms and I instinctively pull away. Matt’s face falls but then he masks the hurt just as quickly. “I’ll get you a glass of water. Do you want anything else?”
I shake my head no, not trusting myself to speak right now. I know I need to tell him about the baby, but I don’t want him to want me around because of it or because I was traumatized. I’ve fought through the worst things in my life but if he rejects me, I don’t know how to come back from that. He hands me a glass of water and I gulp it down, letting the coolness soothe my sore throat.
“Thank you. What are you doing here?” I ask, leaning against the headboard. Matt stares at the door like it’ll give him all the answers.
“I haven’t left that hallway since I got back. I’ve been waiting and going out of my mind, wondering if you were ok or if I needed to give you more time.” The pain in his eyes when he lifts his head is unbearable. “When I heard you scream, I couldn’t wait any longer.”
I can’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes or his heart. So, I pat the bed next to me and hope I don’t unintentionally pull away from his touch. The only way to get past the traumatic things I experienced is to move forward and try. “Come sit with me, please.”
Matt hesitates before sitting. I lean forward, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. He wraps his strong arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. My heart slows and I’m at peace for the first time in a long time. The last time I felt this way was when Matt and I were together in the hotel.
“Thank you,” I whisper into the silence filling the room.
“For what?” Matt asks.
“For everything.” I lean my head up to look into his eyes. “If it wasn’t for you, and the Club, I would have been sold and who knows what would have happened to me.”
Matt swallows hard, “Did they? You know, did they?” He can’t even say it and his body is tight with tension and he holds me a little tighter, like he can do something about the pain if they did.
I shake my head, “No. they didn’t.” I don’t tell him what they did to me was far worse than being raped.
Matt relaxes his grip and the tension leaves his body. “Good. I’m still going to kill the motherfuckers for laying a finger on you though.”
I hold onto him tighter. “Do you really mean that?”
“With everything I stand for. They will not get away with this.” Matt cups my face in his strong hand. “I failed to protect you once and don’t deserve your forgiveness. But if you will let me, I won’t fail you again.”
I smile up at him, pulling my face closer to his, “It’s not your fault, Matt, so there is nothing to forgive. And yes, I will let you protect me, but I do come with stipulations.”
Matt rests his forehead against mine and I don’t freak out from his touch. “What’s your stipulations?”
“Don’t ever make me feel I’m not good enough or worth it.”
“Deal, because you are worth it. If anything, I’m not good enough for you, but I don’t give a shit. You are mine.”
“And you are mine.” I lean in and kiss Matt with everything I have. All the feelings that have been building for him since that first night I saw him in the bar, to all the pain and suffering I went through while kidnapped. How he was the one to rescue me in my dreams while being held captive. To watching my belly grow each day, hoping to keep this baby healthy, even when my health was diminishing. I break the kiss and we’re both breathing hard.
“Since it’s confession time, there is something I have to tell you, Matt.” I pull away from him and rest my hands on my belly. It’s not much of a bump but it’s enough. He leans forward, confusion etched on his brow. “I haven’t told anyone about this, except for Doc Emma because I wanted you to know first.”
Matt looks at my hands splayed protectively across my belly, to my face, back to my stomach, back to my face. “Wait. What are you saying?” His face turns a dark shade of red from embarrassment. “Are you saying the first time I slept with a woman and now you… You’re… you… Are you pregnant?” He pauses for a moment “With my kid?” Shock is written all over his face.
Wait, the first time he slept with someone was me? How can that be? He has got to be lying to me. There’s no way he was a virgin when we met.
I nod my head, shaking off my thoughts. “I’m three, maybe close to four months. I didn’t know until a couple of weeks after I was taken. Only Exleigh and Syvannah knew while we were there and they did everything they could to protect the two of us.” A lonely tear slips down my face thinking about what they went through and I can’t look at Matt right now. “They took the abuse, the rapes and the molestation so those men wouldn’t harm me or this baby. I tried to fight them off every time they came at any of the girls, but I wasn’t strong enough and the things they’d make me watch…” I trail off and a shudder runs down my spine. Tears spill from my eyes when look up at Matt.
His face is passive, but he does pull me into his arms and lets me cry on his chest. His voice is soothing, comforting and peaceful. “It’s going to be all right, Nadia.” He runs a hand over my braids.
“What’s going through your mind now?” I ask, even though I’m afraid of the answer.
Matt lets out a small laugh, half pained, half humor. “I don’t know. I’m ecstatic, I’m freaking the fuck out and I’m pissed.”
“At me?” I tense from his words. He’s taking this news pretty well. Either that or he’s really good at hiding a freak-out session.
“No, Pulchra, never at you.” He kisses the top of my head and I relax against him. “I do however need to update Nolan and my brothers. Will you be ok for a while?”
“Yes, I think I’m going to sleep some more. But, Matt, will you please not tell them about the baby until Doc does her ultrasound? I don’t want…” Matt cuts me off by placing a kiss on my lips.
“This is our secret until you say otherwise.”
“Thank you.” I lay back down and watch Matt watching me.
“Don’t thank me, Pulchra. Get some rest and I’ll be back in a little while.”
Matt quietly closes and locks the door and I drift back off to sleep. This time nightmares don’t fill my head but I dream about a beautiful baby girl with long blonde hair, dimples, pale blue eyes and a blush that rivals her dad’s.