Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Red
I ’m lost at the moment. I don’t know what to feel about the news Nadia dropped on me. I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up. I’m afraid that this is not real, that Nadia is lying to me, but after seeing the prenatal vitamins on her stand, I know she isn’t lying. I kept the shock and freak-out session held back when I was in her room, but now, all bets are off.
I should have opened up to Nadia about my past and everything I’ve been through, but I chickened out. She has dealt with enough over the last few months, the last thing she needs to worry about is someone who doesn’t feel things for anyone besides her and what she can do to me both physically and mentally.
The Clubhouse is relaxed, the music is low key and people are drinking, dancing, playing the X-box and pool. Nolan and Krimson are sitting at a table without Noah. Allura and Iris from the Royal Harlots are sitting across from them, deep in conversation. Capone and Danyella are dancing with Nina, and Blayze and Monica are playing pool with Derange and Jezebelle. Jezebelle’s son, Seth, who is prospecting for us, is currently standing by the front door, waiting for someone to give him something to do. Tiny is still in recovery and Dagger is with him. Torch, Daisy and the twins are playing in front of the TV, giggles floating through the room. My prospect Bones is tending bar and I smile, proud of him. We will be voting on patching him in when he reaches his year mark in a few days. Bones has earned his patch, especially after he protected Daisy when he was a fresh prospect and almost died from it. Every once in a while he will have pain in his shoulder, but nothing he can’t deal with.
Pretty Boy is tending bar with Bones and he too will be close to getting his rockers. He put up a hell of a fight when Jezebelle, who is Derange’s Ol’ Lady, was attacked. Her son, Seth, is the product of rape by an Italian mafia Mufasa when Jezebelle was fifteen. Seth was shot while they were at a race and Pretty Boy was guarding them when they were attacked. They beat Pretty Boy so badly, that he had to spend two weeks in the hospital and have multiple surgeries. He still isn’t one hundred percent, but I think it’s more mental than physical.
I spot my best friend Aftermath and his Ol’ Lady Kensi sitting at the bar, both are nursing beers and making googly eyes at each other. I approach them and nod my head to Aftermath. He kisses Kensi and follows me to the dart board set up on the other side of the room with two fresh beers in his hand. He hands me one and leans against the wall.
“What’s up, Red?”
I pick up a set of darts and start throwing them at the bull’s eye. Hitting it twice and missing the third. I exhale a deep breath and run my hands over my head. “I wish I could tell you, Aftermath. I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do this.”
“Do what?” Aftermath probes.
“A relationship, a fa..” I stop before I tell Aftermath about the baby. I promised Nadia I wouldn’t say anything. “This thing between Nadia and me. I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do you want it?”
“I don’t know. I think I do, but then I remember what happened in my past and I’m afraid it’s all a joke. The universe is fucking with me and will take it away when I believe it to be true.” I swallow more of my beer.
A pair of long slender fingers ghost across my chest and I release a shudder. I look down and know I’m not imagining it. A new Club Bunny, Pearl, runs her hands down my chest, closer to the button on my jeans. In shock, I don’t say anything, which she takes as an invitation. She steps closer to me in a tight skirt, short enough to see her ass hanging out, a tight tube top, sky-high heels and tons of make-up on her face.
“Bitch you better move on.” This comes from another club bunny who’s been here long enough to know the score.
“Fuck off, Booty. You’re just jealous.” Pearl snarls. She obviously didn’t get the run down on the way things work around here. I’m about to tell her that when she pushes herself against me and her lips are on my neck.
Before I could remove her grasp from my crotch and neck, I heard a screech behind me and I turned my head to see Nadia standing in the doorway.
“What the fuck, Red?” Nadia spits my name out in disgust. “I tell you my biggest secret and the first thing you do is come out here to fuck around on me?”
“Shit. Nadia, wait. It’s not what you think.” I finally get Pearl to release my crotch and stumble after Nadia. “Nadia, wait!” I shout.
Kensi steps in my path, pure hatred rolling off her body in waves. “Leave her alone, Red. You’ve done enough.”
“Kensi, move,” I growl. I try to step around her but she steps with me.
“No. You’ve done enough. Leave her alone.” Kensi crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at me.
“I don’t want to physically move you, but I will.” My voice is low and deadly.
“Step the fuck back now, Red.” Capone snarls. He moves in front of Kensi, blocking my path.
“Prez, don’t do this.” I plead.
“You get your shit together and do it now.” Capone points down the hallway away from Nadia’s room. “Get the fuck out of here and cool off.”
“I need to explain.”
“You need to leave.” Capone’s word is law and there is no arguing with him.
“Fine. But if anything happens to Nadia, that’s on the both of you.” I point between the two traitors.
I stomp back to the bar and grab a full bottle of whiskey. I take a swig and then another and another. I watch as Nolan rises from his seat with Krimson behind him and they leave the Clubhouse. That’s weird, but fuck it, I don’t care. I keep drinking until a quarter of the bottle is left and then stumble outside. I sway on my feet, my head is spinning and I can’t see straight.
“Fuck!” I scream into the night air. I didn’t do anything wrong and Nadia thinks I did. What do I do now? How do I fix this?
“Red.” I hear someone call my name but I ignore them. “Red, get inside and sleep it off.”
“Fuck off.” I slur, stumbling more. Someone grabs my arm but I fling them off, falling on my ass in the dirt. “Fuck all of you.” I down the last of the whiskey and lay down, staring up at the stars littering the sky. “Fuck it all.” I slur and my world goes dark.
Fuck, my head is throbbing. I’m lying on my stomach and peel an eye open to look around. I’m in my room but everything is a blur since Nadia accused me of letting a club bunny touch me. If she only knew the truth, she wouldn’t have been quick to react like that. That fuck up is on me. I should have told her about my past but I didn’t want to burden her with more stress.
I try to move but my head is spinning and my stomach lurches. All the alcohol I drank last night is sloshing around and I’m going to vomit. A warm hand brushes across my back and I freeze. I’m partly dressed in my jeans, but my boots, cut, gun and t-shirt are off. I’m afraid to move my head and see who is here with me but I have to. I can’t play turtle for the foreseeable future. I slowly move only my head and I sag with relief. It’s Nadia next to me. Her IV is still hooked up but the color is slowly returning to her complexion and the bags under her eyes aren’t so thick.
I release a shuddering breath and give her a tentative smile. “What are you doing here?” I ask, my brain is still hazy.
Nadia rolls her eyes, “Don’t you remember?”
I sit up a little and wait for the room to stop spinning. “Remember what? The last thing I remember is you coming out of the rooms and freaking out, thinking I was fucking around.” I sit up further when I know the room isn’t going to turn into the Matrix and spin me into a black hole. “Which I didn’t and wouldn’t by the way.”
Nadia rolls her eyes again and huffs out a breath. “I know that now, Matt.” She sits next to me on the bed and hands me a bottle of water. “I fucked up and let my insecurities get the best of me.”
“What made you realize you were wrong?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. Did I confess my secrets in my drunk-induced haze?
“Kensi and Aftermath. You have an amazing family here. Then I went to find you and instead, I found Pearl literally in Trigger's lap, face down, ass up while Dagger had her from behind.” She shivers with a giggle. “But hey, it’s his life to do with what he wants. I can’t judge someone for wanting a blowjob from a club bunny when she’s willing to give it to them while getting it from behind. But if I ever catch her hands on you again, I won’t be responsible for my actions.” Nadia huffs out and I can’t help but release a low chuckle. “What’s so funny?” Nadia scowls.
“You’ve got a little green,” I brush my fingertip over her nose. “Right there.” Nadia swats me and I release an umph.
“You’re such a bastard.” Nadia laughs.
“That’s a Royal Bastard to you, Pulchra.” I grin. I take Nadia’s slender hand in mine and bring it to my chest. “Want to tell me what really set you off last night?”
Nadia shrugs her shoulders and won’t look at me. I raise her chin until she is forced to meet my gaze. I raise an eyebrow waiting for her to tell me. “Fine. But you’re going to think I’m an idiot.”
“No, I won’t. Anything you tell me will be between the two of us and I would never think you’re an idiot.” I answer with conviction. The last thing she could ever be is dumb. “You’re the most resilient, smart, beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”
“It’s just,” Nadia pauses. “We don’t know much about each other. I know nothing about your past and what made you the way you are. I don’t know how many people you’ve slept with or if you’ve ever been in love. I don’t know if you have always been outside of the law or where you’re from. Shit, Matt, I don’t even know your last name or if Matt is your real name. I know nothing about you except the way you make me feel alive with every touch. Make me feel cherished and wanted with the way you look at me.” My face turns a deep shade of red hearing the way I make her feel. “And that blush is the most intimate thing about you that I really enjoy.”
I clear my throat in an attempt to calm my racing heart and blushing face. “Well, that’s a lot to unpack. I’ll make a deal with you.”
“I’m listening.”
“I will answer every question you have under one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t think differently of me when you find out the truth and won’t use it against me.” I look into Nadia’s whiskey-colored eyes and the sight still takes my breath away. “There are parts of my past I’m not proud of. I’ve done things I wish I could change but I can’t. The only thing I can do is learn from them and move forward.”
“Deal, but you have to promise me something in return.” Nadia looks uncomfortable and unsure. A total contrast to the confident woman from the bar who came on to me.
“What’s that?”
“I might screw up a few times. When I do, talk to me. Don’t go on a drunken bender again and make me have to kick your ass. I’ve dealt with abusers, alcoholics and drug addicts for many years and I don’t want to deal with it anymore.”
“Deal but you will have to let Kensi know we're on the same page. She was the one that stopped me from talking to you last night, which only pissed me off further.”
“I know. She and I had it out pretty good last night after the incident.” Nadia’s stomach growls and she grins.
“Let’s get you and our baby some food and bring it back here.” I climb out of the bed and offer my hand to Nadia. She takes it and pulls herself up. The top of her head is level with my chin and I can’t help but pull her against me. Her soft curves fit perfectly against my hard ones. Nadia’s arms wrap around my waist and she lays her head on my bare chest. “God, you feel wonderful in my arms.” My body is alive from her touch. My heart is pounding against my chest, my jeans are tightening and my soul feels complete. “I never thought I’d get to do this again, Pulchra and I’m honored you are trusting me.”
Nadia lifts her head to look me in the eyes, “What does that mean?”
“Pulchra is Latin for beautiful.”
Nadia raises on her tiptoes and brings a hand up to the back of my head, creating a shiver down my spine. Her soft lips land on mine and I return her kiss with every beat of my heart. I cup her cheeks and explore her mouth with my tongue. She moans and I swallow it up pulling her closer to me. My body is on fire and she’s the one lighting the match. It’s one of the most intimate kisses we’ve ever shared and I don’t want to stop. I want to ravish every inch of her body and bring her pleasure like she’s never experienced it before.
Nadia pulls away first, breaking our kiss. “Matt, I need you.” She’s pleading with me to make the ache go away. I lift her and she wraps her legs around my waist, grinding onto me.
“Fuck, Nadia.” I groan against her lips. “Are you sure?”
“I’m more than sure, Matt. I need you to make me forget all the bad and focus on the good.”
“You’ll tell me if it gets to be too much or something triggers right?”
“Yes, I will.” Nadia agrees.
I kiss her again pressing my hardness against her core and Nadia moans. I lift the hem of her sleep shirt over her head and toss it behind me. Now we’re bare chest against bare chest. Nadia’s lips are back on mine, devouring me. I lay her gently down on the bed and kiss my way down her slender throat to her chest. I kiss and suck and knead her breasts with my tongue and hands. Nadia is writhing against me, pushing her hips into the thickness in my jeans. I move further down her body until I’m at the apex of her luscious thighs. I slide her sleep shorts and panties down her slender legs and toss them behind me. I remove my jeans and boxers and add them to the growing pile of clothes. Nadia’s eyes stay on me the whole time, watching me and it turns me on more.
I crawl my way up Nadia’s body, stopping for a moment to kiss the slight swell of her belly. Nadia grips my hair when my lips brush against her stomach and a groan escapes my throat. I continue kissing my way up her body, lavishing every inch of her skin. Nadia opens her legs for me and my hardness brushes against her heated core. A shuddering breath escapes both of us as her heat wraps around my shaft and for once in my life, I feel complete.
I kiss Nadia and bring us to the edge of bliss before slowing down and drawing out our orgasms. We’re a mess of sweaty limbs, racing hearts and satisfying moans as her hips meet mine thrust for thrust and I can’t hold off any longer.
“Come for me, Pulchra.” I drive in harder until Nadia squeezes me tightly and releases a long moan. I follow right behind her into heaven and bliss.
Once I get my bearings back, I lay down next to Nadia and pull her against my chest. She rests her head against my racing heart and I kiss the top of it. “Will it always be like this?” Nadia asks.
“I hope so,” I answer honestly. “I don’t ever see myself doing this with anyone else. In all transparency, I never thought I would ever have sex.”
Nadia lifts her head and scrunches her nose, “Like ever?”
I nod, “Yeah, like ever.”
“Why?”
“That is a long story and I need to feed you first.” I slap her ass gently and Nadia giggles.
“I do need to eat.” She looks at me with hunger in her eyes.
“Food, Nadia. You need to eat food, not me.”
Nadia pouts with a giggle. “Fine, but you’ll be on the table later.”
“Deal.”
We get up, use the bathroom and get dressed. She’s wearing a pair of black yoga pants with RBMC etched down the side and one of my RBMC t-shirts. Seeing her in my colors has my jeans tightening again. I watch as she bends over, giving me a peek at her delectable round ass, and pulls her blonde hair into a high ponytail. “Are you ready?” I ask.
“I guess. Let’s get this over with and our little one fed.” Nadia covers her belly with her hand and I cover her hand with my own, showing her, we are in this together no matter what. There is still fear and trepidation in her features but Nadia squares her shoulders, lifts her head high and together we exit my bedroom.