Thirty-Eight
I wake up to one of the men screaming in pain, and hope spikes in my chest at the thought of Varius or Dayne having come for me. I lift my head, trying desperately to open my eyes and see what’s happening before my brain catches up to me and tells me I can’t. Agony burns through me but so does my old fire – that spark I thought I lost forever.
My lips trembling, I clench my teeth and force myself to breathe.
It’s about to be over.
I’m going to go home, where I’ll spend a hel of a time fighting to overcome my trauma.
But I’m going home.
All my training kicks into gear, and I move on instinct, a mindless machine as I scoot up the bed. I might be blind and tied up, but I refuse to be helpless in my rescue, so the first step is getting out of my binds.
My hands are tied up with witches’ snares, thin magical chains that only Bear can remove (him being the one who put them on), but if I can break the slats of the headboard I’m tied to – as long as it’s not metal, then it doesn’t matter if they’re still dangling on my wrist.
I exhale sharply in relief at the feel of wood beneath my palm. Then I twist onto my stomach, sit up, and scoot as far down the bed as the chains will let me. Leaning back, I place my right foot on one of the slats I’m tied to, then inch my way up to the middle of it. It’ll break easier in the center rather than at an end.
Imagining the scene in my head, envisioning where I need to strike, I bring my knee to my chest. Then I snap it forward, kicking as if I’m trying to reach the wall behind. My heel slams into the wood as screams of pain echo from somewhere on the boat.
I wish I could see Dayne’s face as he bursts into here to save me, only to find me already free.
A small grin curls at a corner of my lips as the slat cracks clean through. The splinters dig into my foot, but I don’t care.
I just want to get out of here.
I want to go home.
It’s almost over.
I search for the other slat I need to break with my left foot, then I bring my knee to my chest. I kick out, breaking free, and I quickly lean forward to tug the other ends of the witches’ snares over the splintered pieces.
I crawl off the bed, my bleeding feet protesting when they’re forced to take my weight, but I shove the pain down. I need to find a weapon. I need to cut out the monster inside of me.
No.
No, focus, Micha.
Escape first.
Then abort.
The door opens, and I tense, trying to figure out if it’s one of the wolves or Antonio himself or if it’s Varius come to save me. There’s no more screams coming from the hall.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,”
Sunny mutters, and I lunge for the bedside table, hoping it is small enough to lift; I only know it’s there because I’ve heard the clinking of things being put down on it.
My hands scramble to find the edges, but he tackles me before I can even try to wield it. We fall onto the bed, me on my stomach, him behind me, and I instinctively shout for Varius.
“He’s not here!”
he hisses as he turns me over, forcing me onto my back.
“Da–”
I sputter as a large vial of V is poured down my throat. As much as I wanted it not too long ago, I try to spit it out now. With my rescue imminent, I don’t need to turn to it to stop the pain. I’ll cut out the thing myself.
But Sunny’s palm slaps across my mouth, and the V runs back down my throat. He pinches my nose closed with his other hand. I thrash my head, struggling to free myself so I can breathe. I slam my fists into his sides, try to reach for his face to claw out his eyes, but his reach is longer than mine. He hisses in pain as I crack one of his ribs, but he doesn’t move off me, so I slam my fists into the crook of his arms instead, trying to get him to drop towards me so I can reach the soft parts of his face and neck. I wasn’t prepared to hold my breath when he poured the V into me though, and I can already feel my lungs burning. My limbs losing their strength along with the oxygen in my blood.
Reaching between our bodies, I search for his balls. I’ll rip them off him like I did Sadist.
He jerks off me, and I suck in air on a wild gulp. The V slides down my throat on an instinctive swallow. I cough as I scramble to my feet. “Dayne!”
I half-shriek, half-wheeze. Yelling for help isn’t a ‘damsel of distress’ move. It’s a damn good tactical decision.
I try to shout again, but Sunny barrels into me, and the word disappears into a grunt. His arms wrap around me, but expecting him to try to lift me off my feet, I’m unprepared for when one of his hands slips between my thighs.
The potion has me reacting instantly, my knees buckling, my breath catching. I straighten my legs, digging into my assassin training, my need to escape this nightmarish hel, to fight the effects of the V. Twisting in his embrace, I slam my elbow into his ribs. He grunts. I pivot further around, then lift my knee towards his groin.
He dodges it – just.
He shoves me back hard enough to make me lose my footing. I try to correct my balance, but with one leg in the air, it takes me too long, and he drops low, then takes out my remaining leg with a sweeping kick.
I crash to the ground and immediately try to roll onto my feet, but he’s on me too fast, pinning me down on my belly.
“Stop it,”
he snaps as he wrestles my arms behind me so I can’t use them to push off the ground or keep fighting.
Jerking my head back, I try to headbutt him in the nose, but his fucking eyes give him too much of a warning. He leans back and bends one of my thumbs the wrong way. My head falls to the ground as pain radiates up my arm. I lie on the hard floor, seething.
But I don’t give up. Varius or Dayne will come for me. They’ll be here any moment. Then I’ll kill this fucker on top of me.
“No one is coming for you,” he says.
My heart skips a beat. “You’re lying.”
“The screaming you heard was Bear attacking Tim.”
No.
No.
He’s just trying to get me to stop resisting so he can turn me into a better hostage. Tie me up. Make me weak. Then ask to trade me for his own freedom. “Varius is going to kill you,”
I grit out.
“Probably, but not today.”
The honesty in his tone is starting to freak me out.
“You’re lying.”
“You’ve said that.”
I shake my head, trying to hold on to my hope even as my heart starts pounding against its cage, screaming to be let out. “Bear wouldn’t go against him,” I try.
“Not normally, no. But then you went and told him Tim was still raping you. Now, Bear might be a bit of a coward, but he likes to think of himself as a good guy, and well, he couldn’t just stand back and let you get raped when the big old Boss told us to take care of you.”
I tremble, my hope fracturing in my chest.
“So he waited until Tim was coming to see you tonight, then he attacked him in his werewolf form. He’s currently breaking his arms and legs and then he’s going to tie him up somewhere because he knows Antonio won’t punish him for this. He might even reward him for handling Tim and his crazy in his absence.”
Shit. Shit! That all sounds too believable.
No.
No!
He has to be lying.
Dayne is coming for me.
“Which has given me time to come in here and sneak you some V.”
I grasp onto that last statement, using it to convince myself he’s lying. Bear might go up against Sadist, but he won’t dare defying Antonio. “He refused to give me any.”
Sunny chuckles. “Oh, I’m not part of his plan. I’m doing my own shit. You see, the bastard in your belly –”
I flinch. My panic is rising too fast to hold back now. I can feel that thing eating its way through me. Can feel the disease of its soul.
“– isn’t mine, which means I’m going to have to suffer fucking months of experiments before I get another chance to stop them. So this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to give you V, and in exchange, when you miscarry, you tell Antonio it’s because of Eduardo.”
The truth of his words hits me so hard, I can’t breathe. Now that Sunny’s learned the two of them have been raping me, he’s made his play. There was never a rescue attempt. Neither Varius nor Dayne have come for me.
Tears burning in my soul, I cry out, and all my bandaged fury, all the fire I pulled on for this last desperate attempt to escape, is blown out with a single breath.
There is no end to this.
I’m going to die here just like Antonio said.
“You don’t have to suffer anymore, Micha,”
Sunny says as he kisses my shoulder, and a bolt of arousal is triggered by the potion he forced down my throat.
Only, this time, I don’t have the energy to resist it.
Don’t have the desire.
Instead, I let the high course through me, let it take away the pain that’s dug its claws into every nerve of my body, every piece of my soul.
“Just stop fighting it and accept that this is life.”
His lips trail across my skin to my shoulder. He still keeps both my wrists in his hands, but I don’t struggle anymore.
“It’ll go so much easier once you do. Trust me.”
He licks his way up my ear. “I’ve been exactly where you are.”
My lips tremble as self-loathing and disgust roll down my cheeks. I hesitate for a second, that last flickering flame in me struggling to hold on despite the wind and the rain and the pitch black of nothingness baring down on it.
Utterly defeated, I arch my neck.
I give in to the effects of the V.
No longer fighting the addiction, I let him fuck me as I cry.