Forty
NAMELESS
“You want this?”
A whimper claws at my throat as I reach desperately for the V being held hostage in front of me. The lid of the vial’s been removed, and the smell of pomegranates and chocolate tickles my nose – the only thing that can cut through the fog enwrapping me.
“Then beg me for it,”
Sadist says as Bear groans on the floor. I don’t know what he did to him, but I don’t care. I just want the medicine to my pain.
“Please,”
I say, scooting around on the bed to get on my knees. I tuck my legs beneath me as I lean forward, pressing my head to the mattress. “Please.”
He scoffs, disgusted. “Pathetic. You really are broken.”
I scoot forward, my hands searching for the vial I can almost taste.
I want it.
I need it.
“Please,”
I say again, not knowing what else to do. He hasn’t given me another order. The panic is starting to set in. What if he refuses it to me? I can’t go a night without it.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
He can’t take it from me!
I lunge forward to snatch it from him, but he backhands me across the face. Pain radiates up my jaw and across my eye, but all my focus is on the smell of V splattering onto the bed.
I scurry to the side, sniffing hard, my hands searching for the streaks of wet. Finding it having soaked into the sheets, I suck the fabric into my mouth and whimper.
Sadist laughs. “You’re that desperate, whore?”
A stronger smell of it waves in front of me – what’s left in the vial or perhaps another one entirely. I’m torn between reaching for it or continuing to suck on the tiny amount I can pull out of the cotton.
The high isn’t enough, but it is something. What if he moves the vial away from me again when I try to reach for it? Then I’ll have nothing.
“She’s completely obedient,”
Bear says, still trying to save me. He’s been washing me, shaving me – trying to bring a sense of normalcy to my life. He removed my binds after realizing I’m no longer a threat to the thing in my belly. I’m no longer a threat to anyone because I no longer fight. He’s taken time to talk with me during the day, trying to remind me that I’m still alive despite the death of my soul.
A few times I have found myself wanting to ask about a boy with red hair and silent fingers, but all I ever say, if I say anything at all, is, “What time is it?”
How long until my next hit of V?
I’ve kept Sunny’s secret from everyone just like he told me to; I did not tell them about the V, so I don’t know why I’m being punished. I don’t know why he isn’t here to give it to me.
I search the bed for another damp spot to suck on as Bear keeps trying to convince Sadist that I’ll be of no joy to him. No entertainment.
But he just chuckles as he lifts my chin up by placing the open vial at my lips. My tongue darts out, dipping into the glass, lapping at the sides, trying to go as deep as I can in the small opening.
“What do you say, whore?”
he purrs. “Would you let me fuck your eyes for this?”
I still, my pulse skipping a beat as my heart slams into my lungs, drawing them up sharp.
He pulls the vial away from me a fraction. I whimper, movement flooding back through my veins as I try to chase it with my lips.
His chuckle caresses my skin like an assassin’s blade. He sweeps his thumb below my eye, across the bruise he gave me. I flinch, but the pain is nothing compared to the fear that I won’t get tonight’s fix.
A part of me wonders where Sunny is and tries to make sense of why Bear’s here in his place – the old me slipping through the fog of my brain, attempting to solve the puzzle so I can prepare myself for any horror to come. But I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to fight it anymore; I’m done being strong.
I just want the V.
So I nod into his palm as I tremble. “Yes.”
He removes his hand from me and takes away the vial. I cry out over its loss, but I tell myself it’s coming back. I just have to let him do this thing first. Once it’s over, I can forget it under the taste of pomegranates and chocolate.
A zipper is pulled down not far from my face.
My eyes are already open; the habit still instinctive even though I can’t see. Muscle memory causes me to blink every so often, but right now, I hold them open wide.
He pulls my head towards him, over the edge of the bed. His cock slides up my cheek.
Disgust curls in my belly.
My skin begins to itch, needing the V to calm it.
My hands pat the sheet, trying to find more patches to suck on while I wait for the rest of the dosage.
His dick trails over my cheekbone.
Then it pushes into my open eye socket, cupped by the muscles still there. It’s a weird feeling, not quite on the level of pain but nowhere near pleasant. As he pushes in deeper, hitting the bone at the back, now the discomfort starts.
“You’re a sick freak,”
he says as he pulls out and pushes back in, just the tip of his cock managing to bury itself in my eye. The truth of his words hammer into me as he picks up speed, his hands slipping around the back of my head.
Fight him off, Micha. He won’t stop here.
Like a blackmailer, his demands will never end as long as their target is easy prey.
But I don’t have the will to fight anymore.
I just don’t.
He fucks me slowly at first, getting used to the feel of my eye socket rubbing against the head of his penis.
“Antonio will kill you,”
Bear says, still trying to save me.
A part of me thanks him for that, for being a ‘friend’ in a place that breeds hostility.
A bigger part hates him for trying to get between me and what I need to do to score some V.
This is the nicer route for me. Why can’t he see that?
“He doesn’t have to know though,”
Bear continues, his words winded and filled with pain. Whatever Sadist did to him must’ve been brutal. He sounds like he’s speaking with multiple broken ribs and through a busted lip. “Leave her alone... and he never has to know what you did.”
“What I did?”
Sadist laughs. “I impregnated the bitch.”
I grab a handful of sheet and bring it to my lips with shaky fingers. There’s barely anything on it, nothing really to suck, but I need whatever I can get.
My stomach burns with that sickness inside of me – that thing I’m trying so hard to forget.
I reach up and wrap my fingers around Sadist’s cock, trying to jack him off while he jacks into me so I can finish him quickly and get my relief.
He laughs. “Look at this fucking bitch.”
He picks up his pace. He hits the back of my eye, slamming into the tender flesh and nerves, making my whole face throb.
But I endure it.
Chase the pain even.
Because it is better than the hole inside.
“She’s going to tell Antonio exactly what I tell her to if she wants more V, and you’re going to be the good guy”
–he grunts– “of this little story. You just couldn’t bear listening to her screams, so you got her addicted to shut her up.”
“He’ll kill me!”
“Nah. He’ll just pass you over to Eduardo until the bitch gives birth.”
I reach for his balls, massaging them like Varius always loved even as my stomach churns.
Frantic thrashing comes from the floor beside the bed, but he must be bound and tied because he never breaks free.
“Antonio won’t risk culling his gene pool now that there is only three of us left, and he won’t fuck her himself.”
“I’ll tell him the truth.”
“He doesn’t care about the truth. All he wants –”
Sadist groans as he ejaculates inside my eye socket. The wet spurt of his cum fills it up before running down my cheek. I drop my hands from his body as I try to pull away, but his grip on my head just tightens. “– is someone to blame so he can feel in control. Because he knows there’s nothing he can do to me.” He pulls his dick down my face, rubbing through the trail of cum until he presses at the seal of my lips.
“Not when I’m the only one of us to make a hybrid.”
My chin wobbling, I open my mouth just enough to show my submission. He pushes inside with a hiss of satisfaction. It’s okay, Micha. You can wash out your mouth with V. He’s going to give it to you soon…
I gag around him as he thrusts in deep.
“Suck me clean, bitch.”
Tears mixing with the cum, I swirl my tongue around him. Cleaning him up like the good whore I have chosen to become.
“Fucking pathetic,”
he mutters as he pulls back, and he’s right. I am fucking pathetic.
But I can’t be anything else right now.
Can’t be a fighter.
Can’t be a Black.
Can’t be the mafia queen to the Shadow Family.
I’m just so fucking tired.
“The V?”
I ask, my voice as broken as I am.
He laughs, and then there’s the sound of shattering glass on the hard floor beside the bed. “There you go, bitch.”
I scramble off the bed as he moves back, presumably out of the room.
“Don’t,”
Bear says as I get down on my hands and knees, sweeping my palms out, trying to find the elixir that can set me free.
A piece of glass cuts me deep, and I jerk my hand back on a sharp inhale. But I know where the V is now, and I inch towards it, so desperate to lap it up off the floor. I lower my head as Bear thrashes somewhere in front of me, trying to get free to stop me.
My heart rate kicks up, terrified he will manage, and so instead of going slowly and picking my way around any glass, I dip my head as fast as I can.
Glass cuts into my tongue, and I jerk back on a hiss. I reach up to pull out the piece embedded into my flesh. Then I drop my head and start slurping up the spilled V.
Bear screams for Eduardo.
Fear hits me. Antonio doesn’t want me addicted, so if the witch gets here, he’ll pull the V from my veins and force me to be sober.
To feel all the things I don’t want to feel.
So I drink faster, ignoring the pieces of glass that cut me and slip into my mouth.
And then I stop, realizing something even better.
There is another way out of this hel.
My hands scrambling on the floor, I search for a bigger piece of glass.