7. Chapter 7
Walking through the front door of the café and being able to hear a pin drop lets me know I’ve made a grave miscalculation. I don’t think I thought through all the facts when I decided showing up to dinner with a baby would be no big deal.
My eyes scan the room, taking in the familiar faces, their expressions a mix of surprise, concern, and curiosity.
I knew if I avoided tonight’s dinner, they would all show up at my door–just like the one time I worked 3 double shifts, came home, and passed out. I don’t want to wake up to nine pairs of eyes staring at me ever again.
“Hey, Olly… umm, where’d you get the baby?” Spencer asks, his eyebrows raised with cu riosity.
“What baby?” I glance around and inquire, as if it’s not obvious I’m hauling around a fifty-pound car seat. I didn’t need my arms, anyway.
He cocks an eyebrow.
Ugh, fine.
“Everyone meet Mazie…”
I catch a glimpse of Jasper out of the corner of my eye, but I can’t make myself look. I don’t know if it’s because of the lingering thoughts about the kiss or that I don’t know what I expect to find written across his face.
Shock maybe, confusion, complete and utter horror? Jasper and ‘ baby ’ don’t normally go together. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in the same room as a kid.
Mazie lets out the tiniest of wails.
“Oh, my god, there’s a real baby in there,” Spencer says, jumping up from the couch and rushing over.
“Yep, she’s very much real.”
“How did this happen?” he asks.
“Well, nowadays there are plenty of ways to have…” Spencer slaps my arm playfully and takes a quick peek under the blanket. I adjust the car seat in my arms, clueing him into the fact I can no longer feel them.
“Oh, here, sit. That thing has to be heavy.”
Spencer leads us over to the couch and motions for me to sit down next to Alex. I unbuckle Mazie and lift her out of the car seat, cradling her in my arms as her tiny whimpers settle.
“So… what’s new?” Alex asks, a smirk playing across his lips.
I roll my eyes and tell them about finding Mazie next to the dumpsters at The Diner .
I notice Spencer, who is struggling to hold back tears of his own. It’s a sad story, really, no matter how you look at it. A mother who believed she needed to give up her baby in order to protect her, and a baby who will never know the true love her mother had for her.
“Where are social services? Why is she with you and not them?” Finn asks, his arms wrapped tightly around Spencer.
“Well, apparently, Ms. Wilson is on vacation until next week. She’s normally the one who handles the social services cases if they come up.”
“And there was nobody else more qualified to take her?” Jaxon asks.
I want to scoff at that, but I can’t, not really. I’m definitely not qualified to take care of Mazie. But it’s not like I could just do nothing.
Now here I am, taking care of a baby when my original plan was to go home after this and spend some quality time with Juan, my electric mixer. After all, that’s why I stepped back from The Diner.
Because baking calms my need to have everything neat and orderly, I’m in desperate need of doing some because my life is about to become not so neat and orderly.
And then there’s Jasper and the fucking kiss.
The kiss.
How am I supposed to pretend that the feel of his lips on mine wasn’t earth-shattering?
When I finally look up, needing to see the expression on his face, he tilts his head, eyes searching. I feel raw and vulnerable every time he looks at me like that; like he can see every one of my flaws.
We are complete opposites .
Jasper goes with the flow and I’m uptight and anal. Don’t even get me started on his body. Have you seen the way the leather pants hug his perfect ass and frame his junk?
I’ve never really gravitated to men like Jasper. Pretty, but in a sexy, rocker kinda way. No, I usually stick to the guys who don’t care about the grease stains on my shirt or that I haven’t shaved in a few days.
The sound of Spencer’s voice distracts me from the strange ache in my chest, causing me to reluctantly turn my attention away from Jasper.
“What bottles did you get? Because babies can be picky. Did you get a monitor? They have cameras now, so you can be anywhere in the house and see her,” Spencer asks, his excitement bubbling over as he becomes a fountain of baby knowledge.
I tilt my head and look up at my friend, who blushes.
“Can I hold her?”
“Yeah, of course.” I stand up, letting Spencer take my place on the couch before setting Mazie in his arms.
Finn and Spencer lock eyes with identical beaming smiles.
“I’m going to grab a cup of coffee, or I’ll never survive the night,” I say and make my way over to the coffee station, taking a moment to breathe.
Mentally, I go through the list of things I need to accomplish this weekend and what I need to rearrange now that I have Mazie.
Ugh, I was not prepared for this.
For a moment, my lungs lose precious air when I sense his presence behind me. Let’s be real, I could feel Jasper’s presence the second I entered the cafe. Every time he’s near, my body wants to react. My hair’s standing on end, my skin heating from his gaze, and my cock thickening at his scent .
“Are you okay?” he asks in a soft tone, the remaining silence between us heavy with unspoken emotions… at least on my end.
Sometimes it’s jarring the way the softness of his voice is always at odds with the constant movement of his mind and body.
“I’m fine,” I say, clearing my throat, hoping to hide the break in my voice, trying not to give away how overwhelmed I feel. “Jaxon was right. I’m not the best qualified to take care of a baby…I don’t know what I’m doing, Jasper.” The words echo like a strangled whisper, still unable to turn around and face him.
“Nobody expects you to know what you’re doing, but you have all of us willing to help you figure it out,” Jasper says, his tone gentle and comforting.
“And you? Do I have you?”
The silence is telling, and my heart sinks a little more. I’m a fool for hoping he felt something, too. I just wish I knew why he did it.
Mazie lets out a loud cry. “She’s probably hungry. I should go feed her.”
I move to leave, but Jasper catches my arm. That’s when I finally meet his gaze. Those searching eyes are back.
What does he see? Can he tell I’m too afraid to look at him? Did he peek over the brick wall with that kiss and now he knows my feelings have been more than friendship all along?
He scrunches his brow together in confusion. “Always.”
What does that mean?
I nod my head and give him a small smile before making my way over to a crying baby.
“Hey, Mazie girl. Are you hungry?” I coo, taking her from Spencer’s arms. “I just need to get warm water. ”
“Here, let me get it,” Spencer says, kneeling down to dig through the diaper bag. Well, my backpack. Pulling out a bottle.
“There’s a pre-measured container of formula in there. If you just hand me the…”
“No, sit. I’ve got this.”
“Uhhh, okay? Are you sure you know what to do?” I ask, and Spencer waves me off. A reassuring smile accompanies his dismissive gesture as he makes his way to the kitchen. I glance over at Finn and cock a brow. He smiles sheepishly before getting up and following Spencer.
I can’t be the only one to see this, right? Like, there’s something weird happening with those two. I scan the room, but all eyes are still on me.
Jules comes over and sits on the edge of the couch with her purple pixie cut all a mess.
“Are you doing okay, Olly?” she asks, rubbing my back.
I lean into her. “Yeah, I’m okay… It’s going to be okay.” My voice is filled with a mix of relief and uncertainty.
“Hell, yes, it is. I mean, just look at her. She’s adorable. Plus…” she says, leaning in close to my ear. Her voice filled with warmth and reassurance. “You’d make a wonderful dad.”
I peer down at the bundle in my arms. She’s wide awake, her eyes locked onto my face.
Do I want to be a father? Now that the chance is here, do I want to take it? Maybe someday. Right now? No. I need the chance to open the bakery and follow my own dreams. Otherwise, I think I’ll always regret it.
“I don’t think I’m ready to be a dad. I know there’s someone out there who will be an amazing dad to her, but I don’t think that’s me. Someone needed to take care of her until they could find a place… I can at least do that.”
Jasper sits down next to Dom on the couch, his half-crooked smile matching his wayward hair.
I can’t help but think of Jasper when I look at Mazie, knowing he grew up in the system and that’s where she could end up. He doesn’t talk about it, but my gut tells me it wasn’t good.
Something good must have happened along the way, though. Look at where he is. He’s really fucking talented, has a steady job, a nice place to live, and is surrounded by good friends. Well, at least the ones here. Even if there’s a lot of anger bubbling under the surface.
When I stayed with him after his concussion, I remember sitting on the couch and watching him paint. I had never seen so much hurt and pain in someone’s eyes flow through to their fingertips.
Things shifted between us that night. I don’t know if by me forcing my way in, he stopped pushing back? But even when we argue now, there’s an unspoken understanding of our concern for one another. The usually harsh blow of our words softened a bit.
I look down at Maize in my arms, her eyes not yet filled with pain.
Spencer clears his throat sheepishly. “Can I feed her?” he asks, now standing next to me.
“Yeah, sure.”
Spencer takes Mazie and the bottle before sitting down on one of the oversized chairs. Finn moves to rest on the arm. They look at each other and I swear I see tears in their eyes.
“Okay… What’s going on with you two?” I finally as k.
Finn nods his head, and Spencer turns to the group. The smile on his face beams.
“We submitted our paperwork to adopt, and we just got notice last week that we’ve been approved.” He looks down at Mazie. “We’ve just been waiting for a child who’s in need of a home.”
“Wait, really? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“Yep.” Finn kisses the top of Spencer’s head. “It seems that Mother Universe had plans for us.”
“We didn’t want to get our hopes up, you know? It could very well never happen for us, but do you think…” Spencer wipes away a few stray tears. “Maybe Mazie could end up with us?”
Hope blooms in my chest at the mere thought. That would be perfect. I know Spencer and Finn would give her the best life and love her the way every child deserves.
“I’ll call Ms. Wilson first thing Monday morning. I can’t believe this timing. How does this happen?”
“Right? It’s like one of those bad romance novels where everything always falls into place and there’s no angst,” Spencer says.
I look over at a now sleeping Mazie. “Naw, those are just as important. Sometimes our hearts need the reminder that good things happen and love doesn’t need to be a tragedy.”
“Unless you’re in the mood to have your heart ripped out and put back together. I have a few recommendations,” Jules pipes in and we all nod our heads in agreement.
We finally sit down to eat, and when we’re done, I sit back, listening to the conversations littered with laughter, my stomach feeling so full from the first solid meal I’ve had in two days. Soft, warm lights hang from the ceiling, casting a gentle glow accentuating the café’s charm and intimate atmosphere.
I hold Mazie in my arms as she peacefully sleeps among the ruckus. Alex sits down next to me, and I startle. “How are you doing?”
I blow out a breath. “I’m fine. Really. I’m just tired.”
“Mmhmm,” he muses, following my line of sight. “Is that the same reason you and Jasper have been avoiding each other like the plague all night?”
“We are not avoiding each other. We talked earlier.” I don’t mention it probably has something to do with the kiss we’ve been ignoring.
Jasper, Dom, and Jaxon have a bench flipped over, inspecting it. Well, Dom and Jaxon are inspecting it, Jasper is just… Is he dancing?
He sways to nonexistent music as my eyes drag down his body. His hips rotate in smooth movements like they were born for it. God, he can dance. My cock thickens with each imaginary thrust.
“Why don’t you just talk to him? You guys seem to have gotten pretty close over the last few months.”
“We are, or I thought we were.”
“So, why are you so scared?”
“Because I’m madly in love with him, but he’ll never see me the same way.” My eyes go wide, and I turn to look at Alex. Shit. “Um, please don’t…”
Alex laughs. “Your not-so-secret secret, will stay safe with me.”
“Wait? What?”
He just laughs as my focus shifts back to Jasper, who’s chewing on his bottom lip, his eyes dancing around the room before landing on mine. I swallow thickly .
Alex leans close to me. “Maybe he just doesn’t think he’s good enough? This is Jasper we’re talking about, after all.”
My breath hitches and I whisper, “He will always be good enough.”
Whatever hold my gaze had over him breaks when Dom asks him a question and Mazie squirms in my arms.
“We should get going. It’s getting late.”