Chapter 6
Chase
Sitting in Perry’s spotless kitchen, I swirled the wine he’d poured me and contemplated my predicament. For the past month, I’d kept coming to the same conclusion. Whichever way I looked at it, I was screwed.
“So, um, I have a question,” I said, watching the light dance in the ruby liquid.
“Yes?”
“If I, theoretically, met an older guy. Like…a little older.”
In my peripheral vision, I noticed Perry going still.
“Imagine, let’s say, a twelve-year age difference, for example. And he has a kid from a previous relationship. Just theoretical, all of it.”
“Shit,” Perry muttered, and the chair squeaked against the tiles as he sat at the table facing me.
“So, theoretically,” I continued, “this guy wants no-strings sex because he’s tired of dating all these assholes and he wants something uncomplicated.
And let’s imagine that it starts like that, but then…
I would develop feelings for him. I would want to get to know him outside the bedroom, maybe meet his kid one day. You know.”
“Oh, Chase. What have you gotten yourself into?”
“Nothing. All theoretical.”
Perry sighed. “Sure.”
“Now, he would probably assume it’s not a good idea to date me because I’m too young and might change my mind in a few years and want to start a family with someone my age.
Maybe he would expect me to be too immature for the kind of commitment he needs.
But let’s say I do want a real, committed relationship with the man. What do I have to do to convince him?”
“Theoretically.”
“Absolutely. Just fiction.”
I met Perry’s eyes, the exact same shade as mine, and gave him a smile. It must have looked tense because he heaved another sigh.
“You could start by telling him. Being honest. But I think it’s really in the little things.
He needs to know that you’re paying attention.
That you care about him and are ready to commit for real.
But he would learn that from how you act around him, what you do for him, and from the things you don’t say. Makes sense?”
I nodded. “That makes perfect sense.”
“It’s what older omega brothers are for.” Perry moved the chair so he sat next to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. “Who is he?”
“His name is Jay, and I’ve been seeing him for two months now. He’s amazing in bed, like the stuff of my dreams. I’ve never felt this…passion. It’s like I’m on fire whenever I’m near him.”
Perry pursed his lips, but it looked like he was suppressing a smile. “No details, thank you.”
“As if I would tell you any. Anyway. I think you’d love him.
Jay’s hilarious but kind, and fucking wise, you know?
He’s been through shit, and life experience is so sexy.
He’s strong and independent, but I like to think that he lets himself be vulnerable with me sometimes.
He works as a nurse. Used to be at the hospital, but now he’s at an omega health clinic.
His son’s name is Lamont, but they call him Monty, and he’s thirteen.
The biological father bailed when Jay was five months pregnant, so Jay raised his kid with the help of his older brother. ”
“Do you think he would like a fresh start? A new family. Another kid, maybe?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so, but it isn’t something I felt I could ask him.”
“Chase, what if the things you both want are incompatible?”
“I think that’s what he’s afraid of. He avoids talking about any of it, and it feels like he simply assumes there’s no future to what we have. And I’m afraid to ask him, because then he might end it on the spot.”
“Not if he cares about you, right?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes, I gave Jay a tender kiss or said something random that wasn’t an innuendo or dirty talk, and his eyes would grow distant, his expression closed off. I hated it when that happened.
I grabbed Perry’s hand on my shoulder. “I’ve always assumed that one day, I’ll meet someone I’ll like more than anybody else, date him, live with him, and eventually have a bunch of kids because that’s what everybody does. But it’s not…like a dream, you know? It’s not something I long for.”
“What do you long for?”
“Right now? Jay. Just him. I want to be with him, meet his scary older brother, and get to know his kid. I want a chance to make him happy.”
“You really like this man a lot, huh?”
I met my brother’s soft gaze and spilled the beans, as if he hadn’t already guessed. “Perry, I’m in love. For the first time in my life, I love a man for real. He’s incredible. I can’t describe it. It’s like he makes my soul dance.”
My brother pressed a kiss to my temple. “If he feels the same, he’s not going to let you go.”
I sighed. “Really fucking hope so.”