Chapter 13 Sutton
SUTTON
A Death’s Teeth fledgling slides their hand up my calf as if inspecting me for injury. At least that’s what it feels like tonight as debauchery descends on the party in Tartarus, one of the deeper caves within the mountains.
These are the easiest functions to dissociate from: It’s neither a full moon festival nor the beginning of a new period, so death isn’t lurking around the corner trying to decide which nonranking individual it should claim.
It’s just dark, the vast cavern illuminated by lanterns and punctuated by whatever makeshift furniture the Director has managed to smuggle in over the years. Tonight will be filled with copious amounts of sex aimed at appeasing the god our organization bows to.
There isn’t much other science to the group. They believe sex holds power because it can result in life, and when they don’t have a vessel to manipulate or anyone to kill, carnal pleasure becomes the sacrifice.
Normally, I can distract myself while members explore my body by retreating to the recesses of my brain where I feel and see nothing.
I check out, as if watching myself be used from above, but tonight I’m having a hard time getting there.
My skull pulses, the echoes of a migraine still wearing off even though I took medicine over an hour ago, and I wish I could peel the skin from my bones.
I tense beneath the fledgling’s touch even as she takes my hand, shoving one of my fingers through the mouth hole in her white mask.
White and gold are the colors of anonymity down here, usually depending on a member’s rank.
White is low, meaning this brunette with tan skin wouldn’t normally even be granted access to me.
When I glance across the cavern, I see the Director standing with her hands on her hips, watching. It’s clear she sent this patron my way and is waiting for some sort of reaction, though I’m not sure what.
I haven’t rejected others in the past because they were too close in status to me. I simply have no interest in any of the people here.
Before the beginning of the semester, I didn’t have interest in anyone at all.
The ache scratching my skull intensifies, and I grind my teeth, wondering if that’s the test.
If they’ve been watching me.
It’s not a secret Death’s Teeth has eyes everywhere, and though I haven’t actually done anything since Elle enrolled as a student, it’s possible they’ve seen me somehow.
Seen her near me, which is bad. Pythia posting her picture likely didn’t help, even if they didn’t say who she was. I doubt it would take long to figure out.
The only thing Death’s Teeth wants less than my refusal to cooperate as Incarnate is their Incarnate fraternizing with an Anderson.
Given our ancestors’ pasts, the idea of a Dupont with an Anderson would be history repeating itself.
Considering the lengths they went to last semester to try and scare her brother and sister off, I don’t want to know what they might do if they realize all three are at Avernia. Don’t want to know think of how they’ll try to keep the curse from manifesting.
The Director continues staring, arms folded over her chest. Always watching me through the holes in that snake-adorned mask.
Sometimes, I wonder if she was there the night Bellamy died. If she was one of the people who—
Throat burning, I yank my fingers from the fledgling’s mouth and push to my feet, tucking my cold hands into my cloak sleeves.
“Is everything okay?” the Director asks in that strange, obscured voice of hers. Like she has some kind of modulator hidden inside the mask that distorts it.
Though there is anonymity outside and within the group, the Director is the only member whose identity is fully unknown. I’m not even sure how she came into her role or how they choose a replacement, nor do I particularly care.
Seeking information in this organization is dangerous. They want you stupid and complacent so they can engage in their lewd rituals and human sacrifices in peace.
And they want me to pick who fucks and dies.
“Everything is fine.” I shuffle back a step, away from the chair and the fledgling. “I’m not feeling well is all.”
“Ah.” The Director reaches out, a pale palm pressing against the side of my face. “Indeed, you’re quite warm. Perhaps you’d like to take a dip in the lake? That’s been known to cool members down.”
I swallow over the stickiness in my esophagus. “I’m afraid I’m not equipped for a swim.”
“You know we don’t taint Lerna’s water with equipment. Only those who resemble the way they came to earth may enter her.” She clicks her tongue, the exact shade of her eyes eclipsed by shadows.
“Swimming with a migraine is a bad idea,” I note, even as the fledgling gets to her feet and slinks over, grabbing for my arm again. I pull out of reach, meeting the Director’s gaze. “If you’ll excuse me.”
“Your father said you’d be squeamish this semester,” she calls as I turn to the entrance. “I didn’t think it’d mean you’d actually attempt to withdraw.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“You’ve not stayed through an entire ceremony in months. The organization sees you scaling back. They don’t like it.”
“Then tell them to release me.”
“I’m afraid they won’t allow that. You’re in too deep, and they fear losing you. Perhaps if you did something to sweeten the deal…”
There’s only one thing I can think of that would satisfy their curiosity instead of me. One person I imagine they’re interested in enough to step off my neck.
“The new girl,” I rush out. “Surely you’ve heard the rumors of a new enrollee.”
“Indeed. She’s caused a bit of unrest, and there have been whisperings of her identity, but nothing confirmed yet. It’s made the council uneasy, and they’re planning to look into it.”
“Let me.” I lift my chin, forcing authority into my voice.
“Let you investigate?”
“Officially, I’m demanding you allow me the space to do so. As your Incarnate, it’s my job to regulate the order at Avernia, so it’s my duty to see that any unrest is dealt with.”
She stays quiet, and I curse myself internally for volunteering. That certainly isn’t maintaining my distance from the group, but it buys me favor with them and keeps Elle out of harm’s direct way.
For now at least.
“And if she’s who we think she is?”
“I’ll take care of it,” I tell her.
“Fine,” the Director says, nodding. “We won’t actively seek the girl out on the grounds of you doing so yourself. Provided you continue attending these gatherings and we don’t happen to accidentally run into her, that is. A curse can only be ignored for so long, you know.”
Good enough. I don’t reply, pushing past her to head for the cavern exit. The tunnels are damp and narrow, with pockets of water and cold air that feel like phantom fingers brushing against my skin, but I ignore them until I see a sliver of light and come out near the lake.
The sun will set soon. Since the Director called this evening’s function a ceremony after all, I’ve no doubt in my mind they’re planning some display, though it’s hard to say what the severity will be: light vandalism or full-on sacrifice.
Either way, I don’t want to be in the vicinity when it happens.
Once I’m back within Avernia’s gates, I rub my temple with the heel of my hand, trying to massage away the ache. I pinch my eyes shut for a moment, collecting myself as disgust continues filtering through my nervous system, dredging up the memories I work so hard at keeping away.
Familiar laughter draws my attention, and my eyes snap open, instantly searching for the source. Elle stands at the doorstep of the Daughters of Persephone clubhouse, chatting with someone I can’t see because they’re tucked in the alcove.
Her sister, presumably, since she’s the faculty sponsor and founder of the organization.
My chest pinches with an unidentifiable sensation when a smile lights Elle’s face.
A breeze rustles her hair, and I rake my gaze over the length of her: Under a long black coat, she wears a red blouse that ties at the center of her chest, accentuating what is already very ample cleavage.
Her legs are on display in a tight black skirt with a small slit in the thigh, shown as she takes a step back, waving to whomever is on the receiving end of her attention right now.
Rules be damned, I hate that it isn’t me.
She turns, tucking her hair behind her ears, then reaches up to toy with the snake charm necklace that constantly hangs at her throat. I catch her touching it in class and wonder if it’s some sort of calming technique.
I could ask. There are no rules about that.
I’m certain the conversation will devolve, but that’s just nature taking its course. My heart thuds against my ribs as I slide one foot in her direction, clouds of cold air appearing when my breathing grows ragged.
The reaction my body has to this woman should concern me, but right now, I find I just want to be near her.
Last time I went to a Death’s Teeth meeting, she was the perfect distraction after. The only distraction that’s ever worked in nearly ten years. I didn’t vomit or recoil when she touched me, didn’t want to slit my throat when she crawled on top of me.
In fact, all I did was burn for more, and I’ve been on fucking fire ever since.
She wasn’t wrong when she accused me of making excuses. My position at Avernia be damned, I want this.
Want her.
Just as the sole of my shoe connects with its next step, a new figure rounds the corner of the building, immediately sliding an arm around Elle’s shoulders. She giggles, turning toward the intruder, and I pull back.
Lexington. That son of a bitch.
He smiles down at her, grabbing her wrists, and an entirely different inferno blazes within me.
When he playfully pulls her hands beneath the flaps of his overcoat, my stomach drops like I’ve swallowed an anchor. Something visceral and white-hot scalds my chest, a heated brand searing straight through my heart.
They turn in my direction, their collective laughter sawing me in two.
I slip beneath the branches of a large pine tree, hiding from sight.
It shouldn’t bother me when there’s nothing I can really do about it. Even if I were to throw caution to the wind and recklessly indulge, where would it go? I can’t do just sex, and she won’t stay at Avernia forever.
I’m stuck here with my past while she has an entire future to consider.
Still, the pang that ripples through my abdomen as she and Lexington prance past makes me clench my teeth so tight, my migraine seeps in, triggered by the onslaught of stress and tension.
My fingers are uncomfortably numb as I drag them through my hair, staring while they disappear into her dorm.
So like many other nights after a Death’s Teeth function, I make my way back to my apartment, turn off all the lights in my room, and wait for the pain to subside enough to fall asleep.