Chapter 15
Jeb’s gaze lingered on the calendar pinned to the wall of his modest room. Today’s date was circled in red with the words “Leave for boot camp” written in the middle of the square. Underneath, in smaller print, was the reminder that he had to be at the bus station by five this evening. Mr. and Mrs. Baker kindly offered to drive him, but the last thing he wanted to do was have public goodbyes. He’d already arranged for a taxi to pick him up.
His gaze drifted to the backpack at the foot of his bed, a sparse collection of possessions he’d take with him. Once at boot camp, he knew he’d be provided everything from his underwear, socks, clothes, and outerwear. He rolled up two pairs of jeans and a few T-shirts, as well as a pair of running shoes, just to have if they ever had any free time to go into town. Toiletries and his wallet completed what he planned on taking. Opening his wallet, he pulled out the picture of Skylar and him taken last year on her birthday. Grinning, he pushed it back in carefully, then shoved it in the back pocket of his jeans.
Mrs. Baker had already prepared a small bag of food for the trip since the bus ride would last several hours. Excitement and dread warred within him. Ever since the tragic news of his parents’ deaths, his life had been a ship adrift, tossed by the whims of fate. The Bakers’ home had provided a safe harbor but never truly his own.
Graduating from high school the week before had been another milestone overshadowed by it not being able to be witnessed by his parents. Same for today—his father would have been filled with pride at Jeb’s decision to join the Navy like he had so many years before. His mother would have cried at his impending departure. Jeb had learned that his parents’ death would always cast a shadow over his life’s accomplishments.
But today, he wouldn’t be completely alone. Glancing at the clock on the dresser, he knew that Skylar would soon be home from the last exam of her junior year. When he received the notice about when to arrive at the processing station for boot camp, he hated the unfortunate timing that had it fall on her last school day. But then, maybe that was better. It would be a while before he could see her again, and saying goodbye to his best friend and the girl who held his heart would be hard enough.
Skylar. The girl who holds my heart.
There was no doubt about it. To the outside world, they were nothing more than two orphaned kids sharing a foster home. And that was the extent of their relationship. But she was truly his best friend, and he also held that honored position with her. But over the past year, it had been hard not to look at her as more. Skylar was beautiful with her long, thick, glossy hair. She was still petite but had developed curves that he knew caught more eyes than just his. And her eyes. Those gorgeous light blue eyes with the violet ring.
And he could tell there were times when she looked at him, and her gaze dropped to his mouth. It took all his willpower not to lean closer and kiss her. But he refused to go there. Not until he’d made something of himself. She deserved more than just a young man with empty pockets and unfulfilled dreams.
He hoped it wouldn’t be too far in the future before he could come to her, having a career, making money, and being his own man. He wanted to offer her the world. Plus, for now, she had her eye on college and a career, and he didn’t want to stand in her way.
But at least this afternoon, on their last day together before he left, he would tell her how he felt. He’d hinted over the past few weeks, and each time, her cheeks had pinkened with blush, and her beautiful blue eyes would shine. He was certain she felt the same about him. Declaring his feelings before he left for the Navy was what he’d been waiting for.
His thoughts were interrupted as a car drove up, and he recognized one of the social workers from the county. His bed would be empty today, ready for the Bakers to care for another foster kid. Looking down at his neatly made bed, his musings were touched with a hint of sadness.
With a small shake of his head to dislodge those thoughts, he turned his attention to his backpack, ensuring everything was ready. The front door opening was heard, and Skylar greeted Mrs. Baker. Grinning, he knew she’d run upstairs to see him.
A moment later, he heard raised voices. With multiple kids at the Bakers’ house, a cacophony of voices was often heard, but this was different. One of the voices he could hear sounded like Skylar. Darting out the door, he was at the top of the stairs when he heard her harsh words.
“I don’t care. I don’t want to see my parents! They mean nothing to me and haven’t for years. I walked away from them, and I’m better for it. I don’t need them in my life!”
“Now, Skylar, I understand how you feel,” the social worker said. “But your father is petitioning the court to at least have supervised visits with you. It’s been years since you’ve been with them, and I think it would be good for you to talk to them.”
“Absolutely not! As far as I’m concerned, they’re dead to me. I’ll be eighteen soon, and no judge can force me to talk to them if I don’t want to.”
Jeb’s feet were rooted to the floor as the revelation stunned him. Skylar has parents who are alive? His belief that her past was parallel to his own orphaned existence crumbled instantly.
Before he could move, his gaze landed on Skylar racing up the stairs. Her feet skidded to a halt when she saw him at the top. Her eyes were wide, the blue now stormy. Her hair was messy as though she’d ran her hand through the tresses in her anger. Her chest heaved as she sucked in air as though there wasn’t enough oxygen.
“Jeb,” she whispered, anguish on her face, as she reached her hand up toward him.
He also found it hard to breathe as he stared numbly. Her words still resonated, bouncing off the walls of his mind, creating an instant chasm. “My parents mean nothing to me. Haven’t for years. I walked away from them. I don’t need them in my life. They’re dead to me.”
Instead of pulling her in for a hug or asking how he could help, all he could focus on was how she was not who he thought. Her mouth opened, but he spoke first. “You have parents? They’re alive?”
Her mouth snapped shut and twisted in a grimace. “Yes,” she bit out.
He gasped. “You lied to me all these years?”
Pain slashed across her face. “No, I never lied. You once asked me about my parents, and I said they were gone. That was the truth.”
“I remember that day, Skylar. I had just told you my parents died, and when you said yours were gone, too, what was I to think?”
Her arms lifted to the side. “You were to think that I was telling you the truth. My parents were gone from my life.”
“Because you walked away.” Heartache and betrayal clouded his vision. He dragged his hand through his hair, tugging at the strands he knew would soon be shorn off. “Jesus, you ran away? Is that why you ended up here? Because you kept running from your parents? Christ… how could you deceive me all these years?”
“I didn’t! I had to leave!”
“That’s not what you just said. You said you walked away. You have parents, and you left them! Christ, Skylar, I would’ve given anything… no, everything, to have had one more day… hell, one more minute to tell my parents how much I loved them. I thought you were like me. I thought you understood that loss. But no. I had no family. You still had yours, and you walked away. Then you fucking lied to me.”
Tears ran down her face, but they were unheeded by him. He felt gutted as the knife of truth plunged in and then twisted. He’d wondered why she never talked about her parents but assumed their loss was too painful. Now, all he could see was someone with what he desperately wanted, and she threw it away. At that moment, grief over his parents roared back in a way he hadn’t felt in years. In an instant, he felt a shift deep inside. What he felt for her was tarnished. What he’d thought was between them had changed.
He turned and stormed back into his bedroom, now glad that he’d finalized his packing. He grabbed the backpack and his jacket, slinging them over his shoulders. Stomping back into the hall, he saw Skylar still standing there, with a mouth open, wide-eyed, shocked expression on her face.
“Wait, you’re leaving now?” she asked, desperation clinging to her voice.
“I have nothing else to say other than goodbye.”
She reared back as though slapped. “You still have a little time. Give me a chance to explain. Hear my side of the story.”
He hesitated, seeing the heart-wrenching expression on her face. But emotions pummeled him like he was trying to fight an entire battle all by himself. Grief, fear, disbelief, uncertainty, and even dread managed to get a hit in on him. He was surprised he didn’t keel over with the pain.
As he stared at Skylar, even more emotions managed to get in their punches. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he pulled up the last image of his parents that he kept stored in his memory. His chest ached as the years fell away. He was a little boy again, being told that his parents had been killed.
And Skylar had led him to believe that she understood when, in fact, she still had parents.
Throwing open his eyes, he brushed past her, his heart in turmoil, and stomped down the stairs. Mrs. Baker met him at the bottom, and he offered her a quick hug, whispering thanks for all she and her husband had done, then said goodbye.
When he drew back from her embrace, he could see the anguish on her face and knew she’d heard the argument he’d just had with Skylar.
“Jeb, honey, I really think you should give her?—”
“I have to go, Mrs. Baker. Forget the taxi. I’ll walk to the bus stop.” He halted, hearing soft footsteps on the stairs, and turned to see Skylar standing near the bottom. Her fingers clung to the banister as if it was her lifeline. Lifting her hand toward him, she dropped to the step when her legs wouldn’t hold her up without the support. He had no idea at the moment that her image would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Clinging to righteous anger, he managed to offer her a chin lift as his only goodbye. It wasn’t how he planned to say goodbye to her, but at that moment, he had no more words left to say. Turning, he bolted out the door.
He made it a block down the street when he could feel the back of his neck tingle. Turning, he glanced over his shoulder toward the Baker house, and his eyes drew upward. There, on the ledge outside the attic window, sat Skylar. Her legs were drawn up, and her arms wrapped around her shins. It was the position she used when she felt vulnerable.
The urge to run back filled him. He should give her a chance to explain. But once again, the image of his parents came to mind, and his heart squeezed so tightly in his chest that he wondered if he’d even live to make it to boot camp. I made a promise to myself, Dad, that I’d join the Navy just like you. At that moment, nothing else mattered. Turning away from the Bakers’ house, he continued down the street toward the bus stop.
The last glimpse of Skylar, vulnerable and alone, lingered in his mind as he headed toward a future stormy with regret and unresolved feelings.