Chapter 14
The afternoon was spent upstairs on the second level of the tiny lighthouse, where time seemed to stand still. Jeb surprised her with a tablet he had stowed in his gear. She plugged one of her keyboards into it, and the setup became their makeshift command center. Buzzing with the urgency of their mission, they were able to work on the programs necessary for her to have the Montague computers keep running while she escaped.
As they worked, Skylar was enmeshed in a network of allies. Jeb introduced her to Abbie, who was married to Rick, one of the Keepers she’d met earlier. Then there was Natalie, who was married to Leo, Carson’s second-in-command. With each new name—Hop, Adam, Dolby, Bennett— the list of her clandestine allies grew. But it was Landon, the FBI agent, who scared her the most. After one tense conversation where he suggested the Witness Security Program, Jeb jumped in to argue, leaving a stern Carson to intervene with a curt, “This can be discussed once the two of you are out.”
Her gaze drifted to Jeb, his presence a steady anchor in the storm of her thoughts, just like so many years ago. Tentatively, she reached over to place her hand on his leg. “It’s not like I haven’t considered the ramifications of turning over evidence. I’ve always known that would make me vulnerable.”
He leaned closer until his face was a breath away from hers. “Skylar, I didn’t just connect with you again after all these years to just have you disappear again.”
His words hung heavy in the air, a testament to the bond that time hadn’t eroded, despite the way they’d parted years before.
She pressed her lips together, unable to think of a response as her heart was caught in the gravity of his sincerity. The memories of their past, the pain of their separation, and the shock of his sudden reappearance swirled within her. When she’d tried to contact him surreptitiously, she had no idea he would try to help, much less arrive in person. And she sure as hell had no idea he would volunteer to stay.
She returned to the covert programming she was supposed to be working on. With Jeb’s presence so close, her mind continued to rebel against the important work she was trying to complete. She refused to deal with the surging emotions between them as their professional conversations flowed. They discussed the security measures needed and tested the computer programming parameters they set up.
Her gaze often wandered to Jeb as the day moved into the evening. His face, bathed in the soft glow of the computer screen, was a constant in her peripheral vision. The longing for human connection had been suppressed but now resurfaced with an aching intensity. To have him be her companion meant the world. She wished that they’d never lost contact with each other. She closed her eyes, long-ago memories flooding. When she looked back, it seemed ridiculous that they had both walked away after having been so close.
Overwhelmed, she stood abruptly, her chair scraping against the wooden floor. Needing a break, she hastened down the stairs and walked to the kitchen area. Her low-stocked shelves were a stark reality of her situation. With a resigned sigh, she reached for a can of spaghetti sauce, admitting its unappetizing contents would suffice for their dinner. With another pan of boiling water, she added the noodles. As the water boiled and the noodles softened, a flicker of hope ignited within her. Perhaps she would no longer be here when the next supply drop arrived. Freedom with Jeb was within reach. With renewed enthusiasm, she added the cooked noodles to the pot of sauce and stirred.
She looked over her shoulder as Jeb came down the stairs. He glanced at her and turned to pick up the table and placed it close to the bed. When he glanced back her way, she lifted a brow in question.
“This way, we can both sit at the table at the same time.”
She nodded, then turned back to her stirring. What he’d done was a small thing, but after having eaten alone for so many months, she reveled in the idea of sharing a meal sitting across from someone. Not just anyone, though. Someone who once meant the world to her. Someone who stayed with her. Someone she once loved.
She popped the bread into the toaster oven and spread butter over the top when it was toasted. “Dinner is ready,” she called out. As she set the plates on the table, she sighed. “I’m afraid it’s not gourmet. Hell, it’s probably barely edible. But it’s food.”
She sat on the bed, and he sat in the chair. They began to eat, neither complaining about the fare. The silence was comfortable, but she welcomed the chance for conversation when he spoke.
“Do you remember the camping trip we had in the backyard of the Bakers’ house?” he asked.
She laughed, then lifted her hand to cover her mouth as she continued to chew, swallow, and giggle at the same time. Nodding, she exclaimed, “I had forgotten about that.”
“We wanted to see what camping would be like, but the Bakers didn’t have a tent, so we made our own. A couple of the little kids didn’t want to be in the backyard overnight, so it was just us and two of the other kids, I think.”
“You’re right,” Skylar agreed. “David and Yessenia.”
Jeb’s eyes widened with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “Yeah! I can’t believe you can remember their names.”
“I remember the names of all the Baker foster kids we met over the years.” Her response was tinged with a hint of nostalgia. The words were a bridge to their shared past.
He held her gaze, the initial shock in his eyes melting into a soft, reflective smile. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think I just saw them all as very temporary people passing through my life. Nothing permanent.” His words trailed off, and a distant look filled his eyes. He glanced down at his plate and added, “Except for you.”
Skylar felt a whirlpool of emotions churn inside her. There was so much she wanted to question. So much she wanted to rail against, considering the years that had stretched out between the last time they saw each other and now. Her mouth opened, the why question teetering on the tip of her tongue, but a safer inquiry emerged. “Tell me about the Navy.” It wasn’t a question but a command. She wanted to know what had filled his life so much that she became an afterthought.
Jeb paused, his gaze locking with hers as if deciphering the layers of her question. He didn’t indicate if he’d discerned her reasons but simply nodded and leaned back in his chair, the wood creaking under his weight. “I wasn’t sure what I expected. Looking back, I’m not even sure what I wanted. Some people join the military because they think it’s the only job they can get. Other people join because they’re searching for some kind of adventure or something different in their lives. Maybe you remember that by the time I was a senior in high school, I wanted to understand my dad more. He’d been in the Navy when he met my mom and when I was really little. He got out to be home more often for us.”
She nodded, not telling him that she remembered everything about their conversations. “I remember you talking about joining as a way to forge a connection with your dad. Did that work out for you?”
His shoulders hefted in a shrug as he sighed. “I can’t say that it did, but it gave me purpose.”
She smiled at his raw and unvarnished honesty. It was always a trait she admired about him. A wave of pain washed over her, remembering the last time he’d been honest with her, and his words had stung. At the time, the pain of his honesty had pierced her heart, but looking back, she could understand his emotions.
As he continued, his expression now more at ease. “I suddenly had a different kind of family. I’d had my birth family. And then I had a family with the Bakers.” He paused as his voice grew rougher. “And I had you.”
He swallowed deeply and cleared his throat. “And then, I found myself in a different kind of family. That’s what boot camp does. It breaks down all your barriers and, in many ways, your past. We all come in as equals. And we’re trained to care for our fellow sailors. We form a camaraderie. It’s drilled into us that these are the people we’ll live with and fight for.”
A wave of emotions crashed through Skylar. Even though it made her vulnerable, she wouldn’t hide from him. “I’m envious of that family you found in the Navy,” she admitted, holding his gaze. “Although I’m glad you had those people on your side. I never found that.” She almost added that she’d never found that type of camaraderie outside of anyone but him but managed to bite back those few added words. “Please, tell me more.”
“I spent time on the East Coast and had a four-month tour on a naval aircraft carrier to Europe. It was during that time that I started working on my online courses. Once back in the States, I began learning everything I could about becoming a SEAL. I transferred to the West Coast and then had a six-month tour in Asia. By the time that tour was over, I had put in my application for BUDs. I was stunned when I got accepted on the first try. I knew that to get through that training, it would take everything I had and more.”
“And you made it.” A mix of pride and a pang of regret filled her words. She was filled with remorse that she hadn’t been part of his life during that time but was so proud of him. He’d had a chance to reconnect with the idea of what his dad’s life had been like at one time. He’d served his country. And then he completed the training in what she knew was arguably one of the hardest jobs in the world. “I’m really proud of you. Mrs. Baker would tell me what you were doing, but I’m sorry I wasn’t around to cheer you on.”
The silence that fell between them was thick, laden with years of unsaid words and unshared experiences. It was a curtain that had been formed the day he left for boot camp. The veil was so dense and impenetrable that neither had tried to tear it down. Now, years later, she wanted to rip it into shreds, toss it to the side, and cast it away forever.
“I want to show you something.”
He jerked slightly, then nodded. “Okay.”
She stood and said, “Leave the dishes. We can clean later.” Without giving him a chance to change his mind, she walked to the stairs. “It’s up there.” Once she was on the second floor, hearing his footsteps behind her, she walked to the old ladder that extended upward. Placing her foot on the bottom rung, she glanced over her shoulder. “Trust me?”
His gaze found and held hers. “Absolutely.”
With a nod, she climbed upward, lifting her hand above her when her head reached the trapdoor leading to the third floor. Pushing it up and over, she continued the climb. Once there, she scooted over and looked down, seeing Jeb following.
He popped his head through the opening and looked around in surprise. “I thought this space was unusable.”
“It is… as a lighthouse.” As he continued to climb upward, she added, “You can see some of the glass is broken, although a lantern could be placed up here, I suppose.” She stepped carefully on the floor before sitting. He quickly followed and sat next to her. It was already dark, but they could see the silhouette of the trees and hear the waves crashing on the rocks in the background. “I knew I had to check the space out. And once I determined that there was a safe place for me to just sit for a while, I’ve come up here every day, weather permitting.”
They were silent again, and she watched as his gaze moved over the horizon. Taking a cleansing breath, she let it out. It was time—time to cast away her fears and find out all she could to erase the past thirteen years. “Tell me more. Tell me about traveling the world. Tell me about the women you loved in every port. Tell me about your friends. Tell me why you got out. Tell me about Lighthouse?—”
A deep chuckle erupted, and his eyes lit. “You don’t ask for much, do you?”
She shrugged, feeling more exposed than she would have liked. “I haven’t seen you in almost thirteen years. There’s a lot of catching up to do.”
They stared at each other for a moment, and it was as though the old Jeb was back, and she could tell exactly what he was thinking. She saw regret in his eyes and knew he wondered about the thirteen-year chasm.
Finally, he nodded. “I can’t tell you about the missions I had as a SEAL, but as hard as the training was, it was worth it when I made it through. And the men at my side became brothers. As far as the ports, we weren’t always welcome, so much of my time was spent on the ship.” His shoulders hefted in a shrug. “Plus, I was determined to get my degree, so most of my free time was taken up in studying.” Grinning, he added, “And the idea of women in every port, at least, for me, would be greatly exaggerated. To be honest, the bars and brothels that lined the streets near where ships docked held no appeal to me.”
A ribbon of pleasure curled through her. Knowing he was not living a wild life made her feel better. It was a ridiculous notion to be jealous of the years they spent apart, but she would at least be honest enough with herself to admit it. Dragging herself back to the conversations, she prodded, “And the reason you left the SEALs?”
At this question, the lines in his forehead deepened, and the air left his lungs in a deep, heavy sigh. It flashed through her mind that perhaps the reasons were too painful, and she shouldn’t have asked. But before she could pull back the words, he dangled his forearms on his bent knees, and held her gaze.
“There was no one particular reason,” he began. “The first time I stood on a ship, I told myself I was looking out at a horizon my dad had looked at once. Yet I can’t say I felt any closer to him or found any peace. I stayed in the Navy because I didn’t have another career plan. But I wanted to push myself and become the best that I could be. And for me, that was SEALs. I loved the brotherhood. I loved the adrenaline rush from our missions and training. But after about ten years in the Navy, with the last seven of those as a SEAL, I knew there was a limited lifespan in that career. And I wanted to be master of my own fate instead of having an injury dictate what I could do. Or hell, an early death.”
“I understand.” Her simple words caused his gaze to snap to her face again, but she meant them and wouldn’t take them back. “Obviously, our experiences were different. But until a few months ago, I had taken, and taken, and taken from what everybody wanted to dump on me. I went from being the poor little foster kid that nobody wanted to the college student who no one really wanted to befriend. Then I got a job where I was finally valued, not because of me, but because of what I could do for them. But craving attention so badly, I took everything they wanted to throw me and look where I ended up. Literally imprisoned on an uninhabited island in a building that no one should live in. All because I was too good at my job. Too good that they can’t get rid of me, yet so good that I found out things I shouldn’t have.” She shook her head as she winced. “I’m sorry, this conversation wasn’t supposed to be about me. But all I meant was that I understand your desire to take charge of your life.”
Now, hating that she had hijacked his time to tell her about his life, she quickly rushed, “Please, continue. Tell me how you ended up at the security firm.”
Once again, he held her gaze, and she knew there was little she could hide from him. After all these years, she felt he could still read her like a book. But thankfully, he didn’t put her on the spot.
Finally, unclasping his hands, he lifted his palms up slightly. “I knew I wanted to continue in the same career genre. I wanted to be able to use all of my skills—computer programs, cybersecurity, and active rescues, if possible. I spent some time researching a number of security businesses. I wanted to live on the West Coast, so I concentrated on seeing what was here. Some security businesses mostly specialize in bodyguards, especially in LA, which didn’t interest me. But it was another SEAL—actually Poole, one of the men you met—who told me about Lighthouse Security Investigations. I dug deeper and interviewed with Carson, and I knew it was everything I wanted it to be.”
“Why are you known as Keepers?” A little snort escaped, and she shook her head. “Obviously, it’s a play on lighthouse keepers, but whenever you talk about Keepers, there is such pride in your voice.”
“Keepers are the true guardians, guiding people to safety—unsung heroes. The original LSI is in Maine, and the creator firmly believed in the ideal of the old lighthouse keepers. And you’re exactly right… it is a point of pride.”
Now, a wistful sigh escaped her lips. She reached across the space and placed her hand on the wooden deck. It only took a moment for him to place his palm over hers. The feel of his skin touching hers sent shivers through her whole body. The connection was so new and so familiar. She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she said, “I’ve never experienced that level of pride. I might be proud of the work I’ve done in the past, but the last few months have obliterated that particular emotion.”
“Don’t let Alistair Montague rob you of anything else, Skylar. You’ve given your best, and that’s your sense of pride. And now, you’re still doing that, only to right the wrongs that you’ve discovered. Again, that’s where your sense of pride is. Don’t let anyone take that from you.”
They were quiet for several minutes, the connection of their hands holding across the wooden flooring exemplified by the connection of their hearts. Suddenly, he said, “I never forgot about you. I know you think I did, but I didn’t.”
She waited, uncertain what he meant since he’d already told her he’d attempted to visit her during her first year in college.
“I admit that after I made the aborted attempt to talk to you when you went to college, I threw myself into my life in the Navy and then as a SEAL, but I occasionally checked your social media for any news or updates. And when I got my annual Christmas card from Mrs. Baker, she always included information and updates about you.”
Skylar jolted slightly, pressing her lips together, choking down the desire to snap and ask why he never tried to contact her. Instead, she stumbled over her words. “I didn’t really do social media.”
Nodding his head slowly, he said, “Yeah, I noticed. Mrs. Baker let me know you graduated with your advanced degrees. By then, I was a SEAL and focused on what I needed to do. But I had enough computer skills to do some digging and saw the name of the company you worked for. It must’ve been listed as one of Montague’s subsidiaries because I didn’t recognize it. I… I made assumptions. I assumed you were living a life that was what you hoped it would be. It never dawned on me that your life might be different than I thought.”
After a moment of silence, he said, “Your birthday was two months ago.”
Startled at his strange pronouncement, she remained silent as a hot feeling snaked through her.
“Every year, I always thought of you on your birthday.” He winced, then rushed, “That’s not the only time I thought of you, but I guess I’m just saying that I especially thought of you on your birthday. This year, I knew you would’ve just turned thirty. Maybe because that’s such a milestone birthday, I did some more digging and came across some online photographs of you out with friends. In fact, there was even one of you sitting next to a guy, and the next picture showed your hand with a sparkly ring.”
At his words, she gasped, her fingers twitching in his. “Those fuckers!”
He blinked, and she continued. “Those pictures weren’t of me. I wasn’t dating anyone, and I sure as hell wasn’t engaged. Whoever’s hand you saw was not mine.”
His expression was one of surprise, but it quickly morphed into anger. “Those photographs were planted.”
“Yeah.” She snorted. “Showing me having a life when I was stuck here was a way of keeping anyone from wondering where I was.” Another sigh escaped her lungs. She tried to pull her hand away from his, but he held tight. She dropped her forehead to her bent knees instead.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Skylar. Not just about this, but everything. Including the way I fucked up our goodbye.”
Twisting her neck, she looked to the side, easily reading regret in his eyes.But right now, she had no desire to go down that road. Lifting her head, she blew out a breath that puffed her cheeks. “Don’t be, Jeb. Regrets don’t do either of us any good. Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge. All that matters now is getting out of here. Your people are hacking into the systems I built and checking to make sure they work. If all goes well, we can get out of here in the next day or two.”
Jeb remained next to her, his presence steady in the dark. But fatigue clung to Skylar like a heavy cloak, draping her in emotional and physical weariness. He stood and gently pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go back down. I can see you’re exhausted.”
He moved through the trapdoor first, and once he was down, grasped her around her waist and guided her to the second floor after she secured the door. They walked downstairs, and she headed into the bathroom, quickly moving through her nightly routine. She pulled on her flannel pajamas, taking comfort in the embrace of the worn and faded material. Glancing down at the jar of face cream, she was thankful that personal items were included in the food deliveries. Finally, staring into the mirror, she noted the dark circles under her eyes.
Walking back into the main room, she spied that Jeb had moved the table back toward the kitchen corner. He had even washed the dishes. Her bed now beckoned invitingly for her to climb under the covers. With no more words to say or emotions to reveal, she slipped beneath the sheet, pulling the blanket up to ward off the nighttime chill.
As he stood in the middle of the room, his gaze upon her, she could sense the unspoken words in the air between them, but her bone-weary fatigue was real, so she closed her eyes.
In the quiet that enveloped the room, she heard, rather than saw, his movements as he retreated into the bathroom. She was barely aware of when he came back out. Opening her eyes in the dark, she could see his faint shadow standing nearby, looking down at her. But mercifully, he remained quiet, respecting the sanctuary of her exhaustion.
He placed the blankets on the floor, creating his makeshift bed. As he settled underneath his covers, she felt a fleeting sense of connection in the quiet of the night. Finally, allowing the embrace of sleep to pull her under, the worries of the day were put to rest.