Chapter Fourteen
“How about we get us all some coffee and you ladies go and set yourselves on the sofa to talk,” Nick suddenly offered as he came up the stairs with Axel in tow. Both men brushed past Jenna, and Axel held the door open for them.
He said nothing but his quiet steadiness wrapped around her like a shield, even as dread coiled in her stomach.
“Please, come in. How can I help you?” Jenna asked the lawyer as they entered the kitchen.
“Oh, I am famished for some coffee. I’ll let you know why I’m here just as soon as I get some caffeine into me.”
The woman was trying to be cheerful, but Jenna sensed it was fake. Her smile was too bright, and it set Jenna’s nerves on edge.
Sally started with small talk, admiring Jenna’s kitchen and expressing condolences for Tim’s death, mentioning that Sam had spoken of Tim during their last meeting.
Okay, so she knew Sam. She was probably looking for Sam.
Jenna tried to relax as Sally kept the conversation going about she’d heard that Jenna trained horses for organizations that helped the disabled and mentally ill.
She noted Nick and Axel quietly preparing the coffee and cutting several slices of the cake Nick had baked.
To her surprise, Axel turned around and strolled toward her. He was neither smiling nor frowning as she tried to read his expression. But he was being poker faced. The neutrality in his expression terrified her more than any frown. Axel only went blank when bracing for impact.
Okay, she would follow their lead. Whatever was going on, she sensed she wasn’t going to like it.
“Come on ladies, have a seat. We’ll serve in just a couple of minutes,” Axel said as he took Jenna by her hand and led her to the sofa.
Okay, now she knew something was wrong. Very wrong.
Why would Axel hold her hand? But his hand felt so strong and she just wanted him to hold onto her forever, but after a gentle squeeze, he let go of her and she sat down. She perched on the edge of the cushion. She swore every muscle in her body was taut as she awaited the blow she felt coming.
She watched silently as Axel returned to helping Nick. They were still quiet. Too quiet.
Gosh, why was everyone so damned sullen.
Okay, don’t panic. Just breathe. She was reading too much into whatever was going on.
Cyn was as much a perfectionist as Jenna. That’s why she’d been hired. That’s why Jenna had put her in charge during her leave of absence from Cowboys Online.
Despite Cyn being young, she knew people. She came from a family of judges, cops, and politicians. There was no way she could screw up Axel and Nick coming here.
Could she?
The scent of coffee drifted through the air and Jenna was thankful her morning sickness didn’t kick in.
Sally just kept on chattering. This time about her own two dogs; a German Sheppard and a Dachshund. The words washed over her like static.
Jenna couldn’t focus, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop imagining worst-case scenarios. She realized too that this woman enjoyed talking and she wasn’t even waiting for a reaction or a comment from Jenna to what she was saying.
Moments later, Nick placed a couple of steaming mugs of black coffee on the coffee table in front of them, followed by a small canister of sugar and the creamer.
The rich scent of the coffee curled around her, warm and familiar, mingling with the almost overwhelming scent of perfume from the lawyer.
Jenna ignored her coffee as Sally poured some cream and sugar into her mug and slowly sipped. Immediately her face brightened to a new level.
“Oh, this is wonderful. Just what I needed after the long drive in.”
Jenna almost laughed. She found it amusing by the exaggeration, knowing the drive was only an hour from town.
As Sally continued to drink her coffee and nibble on the slice of cake, giving compliments about how good it tasted, she asked Jenna how she managed here in the winter.
“We have a snowblower attachment for the tractor. We only have to keep it cleared to the fork at the top of the hill. That’s where the school bus turns around as the township plow comes to there.”
Oh gosh. How was she going to handle this winter? Tim had loved riding the tractor and snowplowing snow. He’d been like a kid. Why did she think he hadn’t done anything around here? It had to be her grief. It was clouding her judgement.
Why are you here? Her mind screamed at the lawyer. She didn’t know how much longer she could take all this chit chat before she lost it.
But her mother’s voice was in her mind’s eye, and it reigned her in.
Always be nice and treat unexpected visitors like an invited guest in your home, Jenna. You never know if they’re having a bad day, she would say.
She’d say it even after a visit from Mom and Dad’s exceptionally prying neighbour Rita Rose. She was a lonely lady who made up all kinds of excuses to visit, and Dad would make up quick excuses to get out of the house when she arrived.
This woman reminded her of Rita Rose and Jenna bet she would talk all day if she could.
“What brings you by, Ms. Bradley?” Axel suddenly asked, probably thinking the same thing Jenna was thinking.
Thank you! Jenna silently praised.
A sudden quiet sliced through the room, heavy and expectant, making Jenna’s heartbeat thunder in her ears.
While she’d been tuning out Sally and thinking about Tim, Axel had moved to stand beside the couch on Jenna’s side.
There’s no easy way for me to say this…” Sally finally said with a frown.
Jenna’s breath stalled. Every instinct screamed that her life was about to tilt sideways.
Say what? Would she lose Axel and Nick? My goodness they’d only been here a couple of days, and she couldn’t stand the thought of losing them.
“As you know your closest neighbour Sam went for an operation.”
“That’s right, cataract surgery,” Jenna said.
Relief poured through her. She was here to update her about Sam. Now she recognized the name. Her business card had been on Sam’s refrigerator door.
Her relief however was short-lived.
“Cataract surgery? Is that what he told you?” Sally said with a chuckle.
Jenna nodded, not liking where this conversation was going.
“He actually went for heart valve surgery. There was a risk as with all operations. He knew he might not make it,” Sally said.
“What?” she whispered.
Her chest tightened. Why would Sam lie? What else hadn’t she known?
What was Sally trying to say? That there were complications?
Was Sam going to be gone longer than two weeks?
There was no way he could run his place after such a huge surgery.
She would have Nick or Axel stay there with him full-time until he was better and she would drop in every day with baked goods for him.
She would take care of him too. All would be good.
“I am sorry to tell you this, my dear, but Sam didn’t make it. He named you as sole beneficiary to his estate, and I am the executor of his will.”
Jenna blinked, struggling to understand what Sally had just said. The words didn’t land all at once. They hit in pieces, sharp and disbelieving, like her mind refused to assemble them into meaning.
“I don’t understand. I know he has a heart issue. He’s on blood thinners, and drugs to keep his valves strong. Why wouldn’t he tell me he was going for a serious operation? I would have taken him in and stayed with him.”
She recalled Sam’s last visit just a few days prior, remembering how happy he’d been when she’d offered him the baked goods, and she’d found it odd that he’d hugged her for the first time. That hug replayed in her mind. It felt heavy with unspoken goodbyes she hadn’t recognized at the time.
Sam was dead.
A sudden rush of hot tears stung her eyes as she struggled to keep her composure.
“Did he suffer?” Her voice cracked.
She couldn’t bear the thought of another person she loved slipping away in pain. She didn’t want Sam to have suffered like Tim had suffered.
“No, he didn’t suffer. He passed away on the operating table, during the surgery.
They had decided they were going to give him a pacemaker, which he had agreed to, if needed.
During the surgery they felt his heart would benefit from him having one.
But his heart just stopped and they couldn’t revive him. ”
The words “heart stopped” echoed in her skull, distant and muffled, as if she were underwater.
Oh my God.
Fear gripped her as she considered the string of losses she’d endured. Her parents, Tim, now Sam.
Who was next? Her breath hitched, a cold wave of dread sweeping through her. Loss was stalking her life like a shadow she couldn’t outrun.
Oh God.
Her hand automatically splayed over her abdomen. Over her baby. Her palm pressed hard against her abdomen, as if she could shield the tiny life inside of her from the world’s cruelty.
Please, not my baby. Don’t take my baby.
Her stomach lurched violently. Grief and fear and the woman’s overwhelming perfume were tangling with each other until she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.
A sudden bout of nausea hit her.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she gasped.
Before she could stand, Axel was there.
“I’ll help you,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist, and he quickly led her down the hall to the bathroom. She made it to the toilet just in time, crouching on her knees on the plush carpet.
Thankfully, Axel swept her hair back off her face, preventing any vomit from getting stuck in her strands.
“This is becoming a habit,” he grumbled lowly, but she could hear the amusement in his voice.
“One I hope not to keep,” she muttered, as embarrassment washed over her in waves. She wondered how long before he suspected she was pregnant. Her heart thudded at that thought. How long before he put the pieces together? Before everything became even more complicated.
Suddenly she did feel better after her pukefest, until she thought about Sam.
Oh my God. She just couldn't believe Sam was dead. Maybe she was having a really bad nightmare?
No, no, this was not a dream. Axel was here.