Chapter 6 #3
As the first tear works its way down Jess’s cheek, I concede to my instincts and lift her into my lap. Cuddling her against me, I croon, “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
Her head jerks up so quickly she almost smashes me in the chin.
“But it’s not okay, Kane. Because… I lied.
When the police came, I made up this story about how I was trying to stop Liam from driving.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth.
That I betrayed my friend by trying to hook up with her boyfriend. ”
“Jess—”
“It just spiraled from there. I created this whole story in my head with me as the tragic victim. Hurt while I was trying to stop Liam. And Thea… she ended up getting the blame. I didn’t come right out and say it, but I let people believe it was Thea’s fault that Liam left.
That she forced him to leave the party, even though she knew he was drunk. ”
Jess shudders in my arms as she swallows back a sob. “I was a horrible person. A horrible friend. And Thea… she was almost killed because of it.”
“What? How?”
Her watery eyes meet mine. “Remember the fire at the library? When Thea was trapped inside?”
I nod. “Of course.”
“The woman who did it? It was Liam’s mom. And she went after Thea because she still blamed her for Liam’s death. Even though the truth came out years before. But she moved away, so she didn’t know it was really my fault.”
Ah, shit. Now the missing puzzle pieces are coming together. I knew about the fire, of course, and Thea’s involvement, but I wasn’t working the case myself, so I never made the connection.
“But it wasn’t your fault,” I protest. “He’s the one who was driving. ”
“But because of me, Thea was hurt. First emotionally, back in high school. And then I almost got her killed.”
“You did not, Jess.” I firm my voice. “The choices Liam’s mother made were on her. Not you.”
“If I hadn’t lied, though…” Jess sags against my chest. “The whole town knows what I did. How Stella—Liam’s mom—almost killed Thea because of it. That’s why people don’t like me. They see me as this… troublemaker. A liar. A cheat. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to backstab a friend.”
More tears escape as she continues in a quivering voice, “That’s why I get those awful messages.
Why people are rude to me. It’s why I can’t tell you who would want to slash my tires, because there are too many to count.
I probably should have left Sleepy Hollow by now, since it’s clear no one wants me here.
But I had to give up my job upstate to take care of my mom, and then she left me the house, so it just made sense to stay here.
Later, I found out about the home equity loans she took out to pay for her medical care, so I’ve been saving to pay them off.
And… stubbornly, I don’t want to be chased off.
I like Sleepy Hollow. It feels like home. ”
The thought of Jess leaving is a kick in the chest.
We’re just getting started. I don’t want her to leave.
And I don’t think she’s the villain she seems to think she is.
“Jess, sweetheart.” I jostle her on my lap to get her attention. “Making a mistake in high school—one that didn’t actually hurt anyone—doesn’t give people the right to torment you.”
“But I did?— ”
“No. You didn’t. You were young and hurt and scared and you made up a story. One that people found out was wrong. And yeah, it was a mistake. But everyone makes mistakes. You didn’t force Liam to drive drunk. You didn’t make Liam’s mom do what she did. They made those choices. Not you.”
“But—”
“If you were upset with someone,” I ask, “would you try to kill them? Or would you find another way to handle it?”
Her response is immediate. “Of course I wouldn’t try to kill them.”
“Right. Because that’s crazy. She obviously wasn’t well. But that’s not on you, Jess.”
I can tell she still isn’t convinced, so I press on. “You see Thea now, though? She’s not holding a grudge.”
“I don’t think so… I apologized to her right after I moved back to Sleepy Hollow. I should have before, really, but I was too scared. Once I lived here, though, I knew I had to.”
“And she forgave you.”
“Eventually. But Thea… she’s always been so kind. Understanding.” She pauses before adding, “I still don’t know if I deserve her friendship after what I did.”
Ah, shit.
If I thought I felt protective of Jess before, it’s nothing compared to now.
I’m disappointed in the people in town; people who should know better than to judge a woman for an innocent mistake she made after a traumatic incident.
And that’s what it was—a mistake made by a young girl who was traumatized and hurt and not thinking clearly.
She’s not the villain in this story. She never was.
Jess lowers her head, crying softly. “I understand if you’d rather not spend time with me anymore. I should have told you before. I’m sorry.”
My heart makes a wrenching twist. “Of course I want to spend time with you. Nothing’s changed.” I pause, then amend, “Well, I’m pissed at a lot of the people in this town for how they’ve been treating you. But my feelings for you haven’t changed.”
“They haven’t?”
“No, sweetheart. I’m so damn sorry you’ve had to deal with this. It’s not right. And it’s gone on far too long. You’ve been back in Sleepy Hollow for what, five years now?”
She nods.
“That’s ridiculous. Five years? These people need to get over themselves.
Stop judging when I can promise they’ve made plenty of their own mistakes.
And Jess, trust me when I say this—as a police officer, I’ve seen bad people.
You are not one of them. Not even a little bit.
You’re kind and sweet and smart and funny and?—”
But I’m cut off by Jess’s mouth crashing against mine.
It’s not a tender kiss like the one the other night, but a hungry one.
Her hands frame my face as she takes control, nipping at my lip before stroking her tongue across the small sting.
As she leans into me, her nipples grow hard against my chest.
A low, sexy hum of pleasure rumbles in the back of her throat .
Arousal throbs, hard and insistent.
With Jess sitting on me like this, it’s an agonizing tease. Every time she shifts position, the sweet curve of her ass sends another shaft of desire straight through me. It’s impossible not to imagine what it would be like to have her sitting on my lap, naked; warm and slick and ready to take me.
Fuck.
My pants feel impossibly tight.
Part of me—the primal, caveman-esque part—wants to pick Jess up and take her to the bedroom. Peel off her clothes and see what she looks like naked after fantasizing about her for weeks.
Months, if I’m honest.
I want to notch myself between her thighs and feel her heat seeping into me. I want to put my head there and bring her to the edge and over, again and again, until the crappy events of the day are a distant thought in her mind.
But.
This isn’t about what I want. Not now.
This is about giving Jess control. And though I’m more accustomed to being the one who takes the lead, I like this, too.
Or, I’m finding, as Jess teases my mouth open and dips inside, tentatively stroking my tongue with hers, I really like it.
I like how she feels in my lap, her body a perfect fit to mine.
I like her breathy little sighs humming into my mouth.
I like the way her scent wraps around me.
I like the feel of her hands on my face .
Shit.
I like everything about her.
And in this moment, holding Jess in my arms, I know I’ll do anything in my power to keep her safe. To make sure she never has to leave.
When she finally breaks our kiss—I wasn’t going to, not even at the expense of breathing—her cheeks are flushed a deep pink. Uncertainty flickers in her eyes as she looks at me. “Was that… I didn’t mean to. Maybe I shouldn’t have?—”
“Sweetheart.” And yes, I know I just dove straight into the nickname stage of our relationship, and I don’t care. “You absolutely should have.”
“So… You meant it. That you don’t feel differently about me?”
“I meant it,” I affirm, holding her gaze. “I care about you, Jess. A lot. And nothing you said changed that. I promise.”
“And I didn’t ruin our date? By talking about this?”
“No.” Hugging Jess to me, I brush my lips across hers. “You didn’t ruin anything. And I’m glad you told me.”
“You are?”
“Yes. Because now I can help you. And now you don’t have to keep worrying about telling me.
I know, and it doesn’t change anything.” After a beat, I add, “Now. How about we get your flowers in some water? Then you can show me what smells so good in the kitchen. And we can enjoy the rest of our date.”
The smile that blossoms on Jess’s face is breathtaking. “Okay.” Then she hugs me again. “Thank you, Kane. I mean it.”
My heart rolls over. “Sweetheart. You don’t have to thank me for anything. Thank you for trusting me with this.”
She stares at me for a long moment. Emotion works in her eyes. “Thank you for believing in me.”