Chapter 31 #4
“How will you know if it’s worth it or not if you don’t try?”
I sigh.
“Where’s your head at?” He loosens his grip and looks me in the eyes.
“It’s all just so… painful, Grey. I can’t talk about my feelings. It hurts too much.”
He hugs me again and plants a kiss on top of my head. “None of the council matings have been a breeze so far, that’s for sure.”
“Always heard I should be careful what I wish for,” I mutter. “Boy is that true.”
“Where you goin’?” he asks.
“Just for a drive. Clear my head before this thing today. If he even comes. Maybe he’s ready for this to be over so he can move on with his life.”
“Not a chance,” Grey states with conviction.
“You weren’t there yesterday. You didn’t hear the things he said.”
“What things?” my brother asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t…”
“Even when I got frustrated as Stacy and I were going through it, I never, for a second, wanted it to be over. I just wanted to make things right. It wasn’t easy. I struggled with what to do about her brother. It was a mess I had to wade through and there were moments I’m not proud of.”
“Oh stop. Stacy thinks you’re a hero. Her hero. You did good. She’s really coming out of her shell, too. And that’s down to you.”
“It’s down to the pack, too. It takes a village.”
“True,” I agree.
“You were a big part of that for her. I appreciate you, Squirt.”
Now I might cry.
Grey puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “He doesn’t want to give up, even if he’s frustrated and talkin’ out of anger. I know Jase as well as I know myself.”
Then where is he?
I don’t say this. I can’t even let myself linger on this thought for long because if I head down that road, I’m terrified of where it could lead.
“You want him to change his mind and give up, or do you want him here? You want to give him a chance? Give it a shot at least?”
“I didn’t say that,” I say, but there’s no doubt about the fact that my body is having a strange reaction to the notion. My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing, and my knees are weak.
He watches me for a minute and when I shuffle uncomfortably under his assessment, he lets me off the hook.
“I’ll let you get wherever you’re goin’.
Just wanna ask you to dig deep and think on things before you do something you might regret.
Jared’s come around. He and Cicely are nearly on solid ground now.
Not all their problems are behind them as nothing’s changed with Jared other than the fact he’s letting himself be happy with the mate Fate gave him instead of trying to reject her out of wanting to keep her safe from his beast. But if a couple are on the same side, that’ll always make it easier to fight a battle. ”
I feel emotional at this news, beyond happy that Cicely’s got her alpha. But unfortunately, it changes nothing for me.
“Do you happen to have any information about which way the SCC is leaning?” I ask. “On my petition for the law change? Have they reached out to the council?”
“I haven’t heard a thing, so no idea. The cousins are keeping mum about it right now. But want to ask you to think about maybe trying to have a little faith in Fate.”
I scoff.
Grey’s hand grips my shoulder with intention.
“Fate brought Tyson back to us when we all thought he was lost. Fate brought the Brennan family into the fold. For Tyson. Mason. Ivy healed Tyson and Amie’s appearance helped Tyson and Mase heal their rift.
Those two matings healed a lot for this pack.
Things got tough at times, but that chain of events also brought Lorenzo and Kathleen together.
Then there’s all that with Rye. Erica. The coven.
How they’re connected to me. How I’m getting to learn more about my abilities, how I might use it to help our pack.
How that means the Youngs are here for you through this, too.
A lot of folks thought that Rye and Erica couldn’t possibly work out after the seven-year separation.
Look how broken Erica was. How different Riley was.
And look at those two now. They’ve healed each other.
Riley’s the Riley he was seven years ago again.
Only better, because of Tyson’s return, too.
Erica and Rye are perfect for one another and they’ve overcome seven years of pain pretty fast because they don’t want to waste any more time.
Then there’s me. Fate gave me a mate who seemed intent on destroying us until we learned more.
I love her more than I ever thought possible.
And now we’ve got twin boys on the way and I’ve finally tapped into the magic that’s been in me all along.
We’re sure there’s a reason Jared, a lone wolf who’s had nobody for most of his life, now has all of us.
Because this is what he needs. And maybe he’s gonna be someone we need.
In fact, he’s already shown he is. He helped big time with rescuing all those girls from that massage parlor because of being scentless.
He’s got good instincts; has saved Linc’s ass, too.
He saw his birth defect as a problem, but it wound up helping us.
All that in mind, can you at least consider that Fate has yours and Jase’s best interests at heart with this pairing? ”
“Bet you wouldn’t say this to Sherry Creed right now, though, right? Or should I say Sherry Meadows?”
His expression hardens a little.
I keep going. “Same goes for Cat Savage, who had her mate and infant child violently ripped away from her. She got Tyson back but not until he was thirty-three years old. Look what he endured! Why did Fate let that happen to her? To him? And it’s awesome that Lorenzo has Kathleen.
But what about Cicely’s mom? They went through so much pain when they lost her. ”
He sighs. “Not everyone has an easy road to happiness. Not everyone gets to be happy, even if they deserve it. And yeah, assholes sometimes get everything they want when they don’t deserve it.
And though we don’t always get to know why things work out the way they do, it doesn’t mean things aren’t working toward a reveal that’ll make sense later.
I do know one thing – if you keep fighting it and you get away with what you’re trying to do, you’re throwing away a chance at having something you longed for.
Something you seemed ready to fight for. ”
“Or maybe it could be that all this is in motion so I can do just what I’m doing and have laws changed so that females down the line get a say over whether or not they’ll become an alpha’s mate. Because they should have a choice in the matter.”
Grey looks to the sky, looking like he’s asking for patience. And my brother is a very patient guy, so this is a sign that I should end this conversation.
He says, “Some shifters get to pick their mate. Some have their mate chosen for them. There’s a small population of alphas, a very small population of super-alphas.
Our council is special, as you well know, and these matings are special too; they’re part of a bigger picture for our pack.
We don’t know all the hows and whys, but we know all seven couples are important to the future of the pack.
The way I see it, there’s a reason you’ve always been right in the middle of everything.
And it’s not because you’re my busybody little sister.
It’s because you’re supposed to be. Because you’re Jase’s. And Bailey…”
I have to steel myself against the sensations these words evoke, because I can have a bigger purpose in life than being someone’s wife and broodmare, so I change the subject. “Is Sherry confirmed as pregnant?”
“You didn’t let me finish. Bailey, you’re not just Jase’s to be there for him.
You’re meant to be here for all of us, using your skills to help in a variety of situations.
And that includes helping out all the females coming into the pack to mate with their council alpha.
As for Sherry, don’t know. But she hasn’t left town and she has an appointment with Cat the day after tomorrow.
Maybe that child has a higher calling. Maybe that’s why Sherry and Wyatt mated. ”
“Sherry plans to terminate,” I say.
And now there’s yipping again. I look around to try and find the source.
“Yeah, well, if she is pregnant, maybe the stars will align in a way that the termination doesn’t happen.”
I frown.
“Had a dream about it. Not sure if it’s a prophesy or what,” he says. “Gonna talk to Ronnie about it. Get her to lay hands on Sherry at Cat’s. Ronnie’s a little spent from the Jared ordeal, so if she needs more time, I’ll channel her and read Sherry myself.”
Before I can respond, his phone is ringing. He pulls it from his car and glances at the screen before he answers with, “Hey Jase.”
And here’s my cue to leave. I back up, waving, wanting out of here before I can hear anything they’re saying. I put my fingers into my ears.
“One sec, bro,” Greyson says while he watches me start up and leave.
Where am I going? How can I kill time until this meeting in a way that allows me to avoid the subject? Because it’s all anyone around here will be willing to talk about. And will Jase even show up?
And I have another question, too, so I decide on my next stop.
***
When I walk into Cat’s clinic, she’s just finishing up with Lorraine King who has her baby in her arms, her toddler son following.
Lorraine brightens. “Bailey! Oh my goodness, how are you doing?”
Lorraine is looking for signs of a mate mark. A mate mark that I probably won’t ever have.
A sharp yip pierces my ears.
“Do you hear a pup?” I check.
Her toddler son starts barking, and it’s a similar sound to what I’ve been hearing, but it’s not this little tyke that’s been hitting my ears since yesterday.
“Yes, like that!” I say, forcing a smile and ruffling his hair.
Annoyed, the little guy backs away, smoothing his hair back into place.
“Puppet show?” he asks as Lorraine answers,
“No, I don’t hear a pup. Other than Austin here, I mean.”