Chapter 31 #5
“Go to the lie-barry for a puppet show?” Austin asks.
He’s staring at me. Not a surprise. I’m practically famous around these parts with the segment of the pack’s population that are below age six.
“I’m not doing a puppet show today, Austin,” I tell him. “Maybe soon. I’ll let your momma know when I am, okay?”
He pouts, pushing his bottom lip out so far it’s obvious that this generally works.
The baby in Lorraine’s arms starts fussing as Cat comes out of her procedure room.
“Bailey!” Cat greets sunnily.
“Can I talk to you? Is this a bad time?”
“Go on in,” she gestures. “I’ve got an hour lull before my next appointment. I’m just zipping upstairs for a cuppa tea. Want one?”
“Yes please,” I say, enthusiastically.
“Bye Lorraine,” I wave as the door is closing.
Lorraine looks disappointed that she won’t get any gossip from me. I’m not surprised she’s curious about whatever might be going on. I know I’d be curious if I was on the outside of my situation.
I might even silently judge me for it. I can’t recall if I saw Lorraine’s name on the petition or not, which has me thinking I should look at the signatures.
How many think I should just give in to Jase?
Instead of a petition, since it probably won’t add any weight to my case with the SCC, maybe I should’ve run a poll to find out who is and isn’t on my side.
Though, I’ve never cared all that much what other people think, I’ve always loved data.
Then again, this data might not work in my favor so maybe it’s better that I don’t know.
Cat comes in while I’m pondering this, sitting on the exam table and swinging my legs as if I’m waiting for a check-up. And in a way, I guess I am.
She sets a tray with two teacups and a plate of sugar cookies down on her desk.
“How are you doing?” she asks, warmth in her eyes. Warmth and knowing. She obviously knows I’m not doing well.
“Not so good. Medically, I think I’m okay, but… I might be going crazy.”
“Let’s take your vitals to be sure while we have a little talk.”
While she does her thing, she fills me in on the fact that Dr. Blakely is coming from Scotland to do a workup on Jared. She tells me that the council bought a bunch of fancy new medical equipment as well as a cage to keep Jared in while they run some tests.
It’s so strange not being part of what’s happening with Cicely. I kind of hate it. But I have absolutely no extra bandwidth for any drama beyond my own and we’ve got Mom and Dad’s drama to deal with too.
After she finishes catching me up, she asks why I think I’m going crazy.
I sip my tea while attempting to gather my thoughts. She waits patiently.
“My emotions are completely out of whack, and it might partly be because I’m trying to suppress them. My temper has been out of control; I even pulled Caroline from Brody’s pack’s hair the other night and believe me… I wanted to do worse.”
“I did hear about that.”
“Yeah, I’m sure I’m the talk of the village,” I mutter.
“You’ve been through a lot. And she was about to make a pass at your mate.”
Weird twinges work through my system at her statement, and I try to ignore them. “I’m not usually violent. Unless you count that time I punched Sherry Creed in the face.”
“She had it coming,” Cat whispers, playfully.
A smile tugs at my mouth and I let it out.
Yeah, that punch did feel good. It was nearly twenty years in the making.
Cat holds out the plate of cookies. I take one. So does she.
After eating it, I continue, “And I keep hearing a pup, yipping or yelping, but there’s none around so I’m starting to think it’s in my head.
I sat beside a lady on the plane on the way to Italy who told me she gets visions and she thinks I’m going to have a daughter and a puppy for some reason, which may be because if I have a daughter with Jase, she’ll be three-quarters shifter.
And if it’s true, I could be messing with the fate of more than just me.
Is it possible it’s the spirit of my future daughter’s wolf, angry with me because I’m trying to reject her father, which would mean she never gets to be born? ”
Cat’s eyes widen.
And now that it’s actually come out of my mouth, I feel it fully. Guilt. Worry. Sadness.
I quickly say, “I know it sounds like a whole lot of speculation, but the sounds are happening when I’m in a headspace of pushing feelings away or trying to imagine what’s ... you know… what’s next after I get past this.”
“What’s next without Jase,” she elaborates.
I nod slowly, feeling emotion welling up once more. I swallow it down and wait, expecting more of the mystery sounds. It doesn’t happen this time. Figures.
“Denying the alpha mate bond can produce some ill effects for the alpha, though I don’t have any data from case studies about females and our pack is, of course, kind of extra in that regard.”
“To put it mildly,” I add.
“And females don’t generally have time after being identified like you have. Erica being the exception.”
“Right.”
“Look at my nephew and that copulation tie when he tried to deny the rutting urge.”
“Yeah,” I say, suddenly terrified of being stuck in something like that. Erica was a virgin when Riley roughly claimed her and they were stuck for a couple days. She complained about how sore she was.
“Is there anything I can do to equalize my emotions right now to get through this?” I ask.
Cat gives me a kind smile. “I don’t think there’s any true medical cure for heartache, Bailey.”
“Drats.”
I thought as much.
“When might all this be resolved?” she asks.
“Maybe soon, maybe not. I’ve petitioned for female shifters to have rights that allow them to stop an alpha from claiming them if that’s not what they want. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to see it through while avoiding being claimed. You know about the spell on Jase, obviously.”
“Yes.”
“Technically it expired yesterday, though we have a twenty-four to forty-eight hour reprieve, depending on some factors.”
“Right. My advice is to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, healthy food, and hydration while you sort this out. Once it’s sorted, if you’re still feeling off either emotionally or physically, come back and we’ll have a closer look.”
“Oh,” I say softly and I know she hears disappointment.
Cat grabs my hand and squeezes it with affection.
“What you’re going through is taking an incredible toll on you emotionally and of course that can lead to physical symptoms, too.
Lack of appetite, trouble sleeping, irritability and anxiety.
You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, you’re jittery, and you’re stressed out, honey.
I’m sorry I don’t have a magic pill that’d help.
Do you want something to help you sleep?
I’ve got some extra-strength melatonin here.
This brand works great for me when I have insomnia. ”
“That’s okay,” I say.
I feel silly for coming here. I think my common sense has vacated the premises.
Because of course there’s not much a healer like Cat can do for my situation.
A healer like Dani, maybe, who could potentially cast a spell on me to help me cope with all this.
Maybe Dani should be my next stop. And Ronnie, if she’s feeling up to it.
If Ronnie touches me while I hear the pup, what would she see?
I drive to Drowsy Hollow and there are no vehicles parked behind the dry cleaners where the Youngs have their covenstead and the apartment upstairs, so I wander the town a while, poking around some shops to kill time.
***
I take the long way to drive past Jase’s house on the way home, half an hour before the meeting is supposed to happen. There’s no sign of his pickup truck.
No sign of Jase at my house either. Dani and Vivi are already here, in the kitchen with Mom, having coffee and cookies.
“Hi,” Mom greets. “How are you doing?”
“No idea,” I say, putting my bag down.
Mom hugs me.
“Can I help with anything?” I ask. “For the meeting?”
“No, it’s all done. Had all sorts of leftover treats and beverages from yesterday so it was nothing to put on some coffee and tea.”
I look at the girls. “Erica not here yet?”
“On her way,” Vivi says. “Should be here any time.”
I nod and turn to Dani.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask.
She follows me outside to the driveway. Dad is in the garage now, fiddling with his broken TV.
“Hey Dad,” I greet.
“Sweetheart,” Dad greets, coming over and kissing my forehead before he goes back to what he’s doing.
I walk further down the driveway and Dani follows.
“Any idea how this is going to go?” I ask. “My anxiety is out of control.”
“If he shows up, we’ll hear his side, your side, and then we’ll call Lucinda to see what her position is from an SCC perspective on the form you sent in. Then we’ll meet and talk alone before we advise if our spell stopping Jase from touching you can be further extended.”
“Is Ronnie coming?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not today.”
“Oh. Right. Grey said she was having a rough time.”
“Why are you asking?”
“I’m having some wonky side-effects, I think. I was going to ask her to read me, see if she can help me figure it out.”
“What sort of wonky side effects? As a healer, I read individuals, in a different way.”
“Can you sense a case of the crazies?” I ask, only half-joking. I explain, “I’m hearing sounds. Like a wolf pup yipping, barking, yelping. Mostly it’s been happening whenever I let my brain think about moving on without Jase in my life. Or when I push feelings away about him.”
She winces.
“Any idea what it could mean?” I ask.
Dani looks sympathetic. “The tendrils of the mate bond dig pretty deep. You’re not mated yet, but there are unseen forces at work with alpha shifter matings, particularly in this pack with the council alphas.”
“Cat Savage said as the pack healer there’s nothing she can do. But… as a healer with magical abilities, is there anything you can do for me here?”
“Such as?”