Chapter 19
ERIC
Bang! Bang! Bang!
At first, I thought I was dreaming. Like I’d heard the sound in my dream, and it startled me so hard I woke up. But then, as I was blinking my eyes into focus in the thin morning light…
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“What the fuck?” I croaked.
One of the few coherent synapses in my brain connected, and I realized it was someone knocking furiously at the door downstairs. Maybe a neighbor in distress? Maybe there was a fire somewhere?
My pulse shot up and I flew out of bed. I pulled on a pair of sweats and hurried out of the room.
Jesse’s door opened as he came out too. “Is someone knocking?”
“Sounds like it. I’ll go find out.”
I headed downstairs with Jesse on my heels.
Shame this place didn’t have a Ring camera, which was something to mention to the owner after I got back to Pittsburgh.
Besides, it probably was just a neighbor, or someone who’d gotten lost looking for another cabin.
I didn’t smell any smoke, so that was a good sign. Hopefully.
I turned the deadbolt, opened the door, and—
“You asshole!” My ex-fiancée shoved her phone in my face, the camera pointed directly at me. “You cancel our wedding and then run off to my dad’s cabin with your new boyfriend! You cheating son of a—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I put up my hands. “Selena, you cheat—”
“And there he is!” She pointed the phone past me, and when I glanced over my shoulder, Jesse was staring at her with wide eyes.
“Selena. Jesus.” I tried to cover the camera with my hand without actually touching it or her. “What are you doing? How did you even know we were here?”
“Because I saw the video he posted!” She whipped the phone away from my hand, pointed it at me, then at Jesse. “How stupid do you think I am? There’s only one place you’ve ever gone moose-watching, and I heard both of your voices on that video!”
I turned to Jesse. He stared at me.
“Shit,” he murmured. “I didn’t think… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she’d—”
I waved that away. “We shouldn’t have to hide from her.” I glared at Selena. “What do you even want? Your dad said I could use the cabin for—”
“He didn’t say you could use it to screw the man you’ve been cheating on me with!”
I narrowed my eyes at her and her camera. “You cheated on me, Selena.” I motioned toward Jesse. “You cheated on him. What business is it of yours if we’re traveling together while we get over you?”
Her laugh was caustic and nasty. God, was this really the woman who’d been about to take my name? What happened to her sweet, loving side? Where had this vindictive, manipulative shit been hiding all this time?
“You’re liars,” she gritted out. “Both of you. And now everyone’s going to see it.”
“They’re not going to see anything,” Jesse said evenly. “Just because we’re both into men doesn’t mean we’re into each other.”
I fought the impulse to wince. Ouch, Jesse.
“Bullshit you’re not,” she snapped. “I know you’re into each other, and you have been since before Eric and I broke up!”
I crossed my arms and inclined my head. “You really want me to explain to your social media followers”—I nodded toward the phone—“how we met Jesse and why you know we’re into each other? Because I’ll be happy to tell them every detail about—”
She lowered her phone and shut off the recording.
I laughed humorlessly. Behind me, so did Jesse.
“Fuck you both,” she snarled.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. Then I turned to Jesse. “I’ll deal with her if you want to stay inside.”
He hesitated, gaze flicking back and forth between us. After a moment, though, he took the out and closed the cabin door.
I faced our ex and lowered my voice. “Selena. What are you doing?”
She set her jaw, though it didn’t do much to stop her chin from quivering. “You made everyone think I did this to you. But you were cheating with him all—”
“No. I wasn’t. You cheated on me. Period.”
“And you expect me to believe you two didn’t start fucking until after—”
“We’re not fucking!” I threw back. “We’re just…” I gestured at our surroundings. “Taking some time to get over what you did to both of us.”
“Uh-huh.” She glared harder. “Which is why you’re living with him, too? And now spending our honeymoon with him in a secluded cabin?”
I couldn’t help another eyeroll. “He gave me a place to stay after I moved out of our house.” I stood aside and gestured like I was inviting her inside.
“You want to come have a look at the separate bedrooms we’ve been staying in?
Would that prove it to you? Or will you just gaslight yourself into thinking you didn’t drive all the way here for nothing? ”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged flippantly. “But I’m not a cheater. That’s all you, Selena. And from what some people on your side have said, I’m not the first.”
Her eyebrows shot up and her lips parted. “What? They said that?”
“Mmhmm. Apparently they all thought you grew out of it.” I laughed bitterly. “Shame none of them ever gave me a heads up just in case you hadn’t.”
She stared at me in horror. Then her shoulders dropped and she met me with plaintive, tear-filled eyes.
“I… okay. Okay. You’re right. I fucked up back then, and I fucked up this time.
But then I saw that video and realized you two were here together, and.
..” She swallowed like she was pushing back a lump in her throat.
“I don’t know. I guess I just lost it.” Swiping at her eyes, she added, “This was where we always came, and you brought him here, and that broke me, I guess.”
“You hated it here,” I said flatly.
“Maybe, but you didn’t. I just didn’t think you’d bring someone here to fuck.”
“I didn’t. We’re not doing anything except trying to get over you.”
“Uh-huh.” Frost formed on the edges of her words. “And I know how you get over people.”
My teeth snapped shut. She had me there. It wasn’t at all beneath me to jump into bed with someone on the heels of a breakup.
Maybe that was why I’d pulled back so hard from Jesse—because I knew me. Because I knew I sometimes used casual sex and anonymous hookups to take the sting out of breakups. He deserved better than that.
No wonder I’d spooked and backed off.
Though… I was lying to myself if I said all I wanted from him was rebound sex.
“I know you,” she said again. “You’re screwing him to get over me. But we had something, you know? I messed it all up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it.”
“I can’t trust you,” I told her. “And I don’t want to go back. Not after—”
“It was just a stupid mistake!” She wiped her eyes again with a shaking hand. “I never should have cheated on you. I know that. But it didn’t mean anything.” She flailed a hand toward the cabin. “He didn’t mean anything to me. You do.”
So many emotions tried to surge to the surface. I wanted to ask how she could lead someone on like that. Or how she could be with someone for the better part of a year if it didn’t mean anything.
What came out, though, was, “It turns out he means something to me.”
She blinked. So did I.
My heart fell. A lump rose in my throat. The words kept repeating in my head, and my knees actually went a little weak.
Selena opened her mouth to speak, and I realized I was suddenly too raw and off-balance to listen to another word.
So, I just opened the door and walked back inside.
She screamed something at my back, but I ignored it.
I couldn’t hear it, really; my own words were echoing too loudly inside my skull.
When I closed the door behind me, my knees were shaking.
“It turns out he means something to me.”
That hit me in places I didn’t know I had. It hit me in places my wedding vows should have while I’d been writing them. It had come out without thought, and it was an earthshaking, foundation-rattling truth that I hadn’t even let myself believe until I heard myself say it to her.
“Eric?” Jesse’s tentative voice broke through the noise. I lifted my head to find him watching me, concern written all over his face. “You okay?”
I almost laughed. I was so goddamned far from okay. But holding his gaze, I couldn’t breathe.
“It turns out he means something to me.”
Fuck. He did, didn’t he? Obviously more than he or I had ever meant to her, but also more than he was supposed to mean to me.
What the hell are we doing?
I cleared my throat and gestured toward the kitchen.
“I think I need a beer.”