Chapter Fifteen
It was only a few days after Halloween, and already the mall was decorated for Christmas.
I hadn't been out much in the last few months.
I tried to keep a low profile, just going to work and sometimes to the library, but for the most part, I tried to stay out of teen hangouts.
Today's trip to the mall was a necessity.
I needed new bras; my new boobs didn't fit in my old ones.
I couldn't order them on the Internet. I had no idea what size I'd wear, and I needed to try them on.
I wanted to get in and out, but my constant need to pee slowed me down.
I hit the bathroom one last time before heading home for a much-needed nap, but that stopped proved to be a huge mistake.
As I exited the bathroom and headed for the escalator, I heard Evan calling me.
I froze, afraid to turn around, but I had no choice. I had to face him.
"Jocelyn! Wait up."
I stood still for a moment, and then slowly turned and looked at him.
He was just as stunning as he’d always been—his hair purposely disheveled, his clothes neatly pressed and ever so stylish, and then there was his smile.
That smile always made me feel better. For just one second when our eyes met, I completely forgot I was supposed to be hiding from him.
"Jocelyn, where have you—?" He abruptly stopped, his gaze falling on my stomach.
"Hey." Totally lame response!
Jocelyn?" I saw the confusion on his face.
"Evan." I smiled. What else was I supposed to do?
"Oh my God." He gasped. "This is why you stopped calling me."
"I didn't mean, well, I was going to tell you, but—"
"Alex?" he asked. "He doesn't know?"
I shook my head.
"Now I see why you stopped talking to him, but why would you do that? How could you do that to him?"
"I, well, I'm going to tell him, but I wanted to wait for him to come home," I stuttered. "I didn't want him worrying about me."
"Worrying about you?" he said. "You're pregnant."
No shit, Sherlock!
"I know," I said. "But I didn't want him to come home because he felt like he had to."
"So you shut him out?" He was angry, and I understood why.
"I was afraid," I said. "I wasn't sure what to do. And I knew if I kept talking to him, he would wonder why I stopped talking to you. I knew you'd tell him."
"He thought you found someone else," he said. "He didn't think you were going to wait for him."
"Evan, I know this looks bad, but I was only thinking about what was right for Alex." I tried to defend the choices I'd made. "I have every intention of telling him."
"He's coming home tomorrow."
"What? I thought he was coming home closer to Thanksgiving?"
Tomorrow?
My stomach started to hurt, and I grew lightheaded. My heart was so full of love for him, and thinking that I could see him in twenty-four hours made me smile, but then I realized he could react the same way Evan was, probably worse.
"He finished up early, so he's coming home," Evan said. "And you better get in touch with him immediately."
"I will," I said. "In a few days, after he gets settled."
"No," he snapped. "I'll give you tomorrow, but after that, I'll tell him myself."
"Evan, please don't be mad at me." My eyes blurred with the tears that threatened to spill. "I've missed you so much." I hated being so emotional, but I really did miss him, and my nerves were shot.
"Joce, don't cry," he whispered and touched my hand. "You just hurt us all so much, and we didn't know why. You shouldn't have tried to hide this from us."
"I know, but I was scared. I was afraid if I kept calling him, I'd eventually tell him."
Before Evan could reply, I saw Brenna and Julia approaching us, loaded down with designer shopping bags.
I looked like a dishrag compared to them.
They looked as if they just stepped off the runway.
My clothes were worn and hardly fit, my sneakers were dirty, and I didn't have a jacket to hide my stomach.
I hadn't bought any maternity clothes, because I was trying to save my money, but now I wished I looked a little neater.
"Evan, please." I begged.
"I won't tell them, but they might figure it out." He frowned.
"Well, look who it is," Brenna said, raking me with her gaze.
Julia whispered something in her ear, and they both smiled. No doubt they were making fun of me.
"Brenna." Evan warned. "Don't start."
"Hello, Jocelyn." Julia smiled.
I nodded.
"It looks as if my brother dodged a huge bullet with you," Brenna said with a smug look on her face. "How long after he went back to Yale did you find some idiot to knock you up?"
"Brenna!" Evan hissed.
"No, Evan, it’s okay," I said. I was just glad that Brenna was too stupid to figure it out. "I have to go now."
"Were you cheating on Alex the whole time?" Julia asked.
"What? No!" I said. "I could never do that to him."
But I could hide a pregnancy from him! Yep, this is lookin' better and better.
"I'm not complaining." She smiled. "I'm glad he came to his senses, and I told him that last weekend when I went to visit him."
"You went to Connecticut?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed, but I was heartbroken.
"Yes, and I spent the whole weekend with him. He's as charming as ever."
"She went with Brenna and Ryan," Evan said. "It was hardly a romantic getaway."
Julia made a face at him.
I felt sicker by the minute, and I was sure my face was pale. I swayed a little, and Evan grabbed my arm.
"You look a little woozy," he said. "Do you want to sit down?"
"No." I faked a smiled. "I have to go."
"I do too," Julia said. "Alex's coming home, so I was thinking a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order."
"Oh, perfect," Brenna said. "I haven't surprised Ryan with something new in a few weeks."
"Jocelyn," Julia said. "Maybe you should look into a new wardrobe while you're here." She looked me over, lingering a few seconds on my stomach before snickering and shaking her head.
I could feel my face burning up. I was trying really hard not to puke all over anyone. And a new threat just entered the mix. I had to tell Alex before Dumb and Dumber spilled the beans and left him with the wrong idea.
"Evan," Brenna barked. "We'll meet you for lunch in a half an hour."
"Fine." He sighed.
I waited for them to walk away, and then I said, "Please don't tell Alex."
"I won't; I promise." He nodded toward Julia and Brenna. "But you're going to have to do it and soon."
"I know." I looked down at my swollen feet.
Evan took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I’m here for you now," he whispered. "I would have been here the whole time."
"I know." I smiled. "I missed you."
"I'll call you tonight," he said. "You better not avoid me. I'll just show up on your doorstep."
"I won't," I said. "Talk to you later." He gently kissed my cheek, and then flashed me his signature panty-dropping smile before taking off. I really had missed him.
Talk about a mall trip from hell, I thought as I headed through the double doors and out into the parking lot; all I wanted to do was go climb under a rock somewhere.
I climbed into my car, rested my head against the headrest, and closed my eyes.
Alex would be home tomorrow. It was what I’d been waiting for.
Soon, he'd know just what he'd left behind.
I smiled when I pressed my hand to my stomach. My little one was moving around while thoughts of Alex ran through my head. In a few days, he would be able to feel his baby moving inside me. I just hoped he could forgive me for shutting him out.
Twenty minutes had passed since I’d run into Julia and Brenna, and since Alex wasn't blowing up my phone, I figured they hadn't told him yet. I decided to be proactive. I called him, but I got his voicemail.
" Hey, Alex . . . it's, um, me, Jocelyn. I know we haven't talked in a while, but Evan said you were coming home tomorrow, so I was hoping we could talk. Maybe you could call me when you get in? Um, well, I hope you're okay. 'Bye."
As reality set in, I realized I messed up. Exactly what I knew would happen, did happen. Someone else found out—the worst someone who could have found out—and very soon, she'd be blabbing her mouth to Alex. Why didn't I just tell him?