Chapter 10
Ten
J ohn held onto Katy’s hand as he walked into the gym, smiling as soon as he saw the owner sitting behind the front desk.
“Hey, John. Katy! Are you here to jump into the boxing ring with your dad?”
“No!” she giggled. “I play!”
“Oh, good choice. Marigold just put some new toys in there, and last time I checked, Layla was watching some ocean princess warrior movie. She’d probably love a friend to play with.”
“Daddy, I go now?”
“Sure. Go ahead ladybug.”
John watched as Katy skipped over to the kid’s area. It was one reason he loved the gym. He could get a workout in and have Katy with him. He didn’t need to ask anyone else to watch her.
“So, Jackson coming in too?”
“Not today. I’m teaching someone some self defense moves.”
Lou looked up from his computer. “A woman?”
“Yeah.”
“Is she okay?” That right there was why he liked Lou so much. Marigold, his wife, had shown up in town a few years ago black and blue, with nothing but a broken down car, a suitcase, and her daughter clinging to her. John watched as Lou stepped in and stepped up for Mari and Layla. He was a good guy.
“She will be.”
“Good. Okay. You guys can take the classroom across for the kid’s area if you want. That way it’s more private than out here on the floor. I’ll keep an eye on Katy.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
“Your girl… is she afraid of men? You want me to get Mari out here for when she shows?”
Shit. He hadn’t even thought of that.
“I think normally it would be okay, but maybe for today, it’d be a good idea to have Marigold here. Thanks, Lou.”
“Yeah, I get it. I know I’m a teddy bear, but a lot of times people look at me and freak.”
He looked at the giant sitting in front of him. Lou was a former marine, and yeah, he definitely looked like someone you wouldn’t want to mess with.
“I don’t think I’ve ever looked at you and thought ‘teddy bear’,” John laughed.
“Ask your daughter if I’m scary. I’m a freaking peach.”
“Maybe now that you’ve got a wife and daughter, yeah.”
“And one on the way.”
“No way. That’s awesome, Lou.”
“Yeah, we’re pretty excited. It’s another girl. Layla’s so excited. She’s probably practicing her big sister skills on Katy.”
The chime above the door had John spinning to see who was walking in.
“Shit. I talked your ear off and your girl got here before I could get Mari.”
Abby blushed, hiking her purse over her shoulder.
“Lou, this is Abby. Abby, Lou owns this place.”
Her whole face lit up and she crossed her arms. “I told you I knew it started with an ‘L’. I was right.”
He laughed. “You were.”
“So, who’s Mari? And why was she supposed to be here instead of Lou?”
“Marigold is Lou’s wife. She’s a lot less scary than the self proclaimed teddy bear here.”
“I’m not scared. Should I be?” Abby cocked her eyebrow and crossed her arms.
“No ma’am. I’d never hurt a woman.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“I was about to go set up the mats in the room Lou is going to let us use.”
“Oh, I can help with that.”
“Sure.” John held out his hand, and Abby’s vivid blue eyes sparkled as she slipped her hand into his.
“Where’s Katy?” she whispered as they walked down a short hallway.
“Right in there.” John pointed to the playroom, where Katy and Layla were running around with crowns on their heads.
“No wonder you and Jackson use this gym.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t always like this, but when Lou fell in love with his wife, she already had a kid and he wanted them both to feel safe and wanted here.”
“Self proclaimed teddy bear indeed.”
John laughed, gently pulling Abby into the room they’d be using.
They worked silently, laying down mats and going through a warm up routine. He carefully watched as Abby stretched, looking for any signs of fear or apprehension, but she was all business.
“Ready to start?”
“Sure thing, teach,” she teased.
“I want you to slam your foot down on my leg.”
Abby was drenched. It was one thing to run in a full jacket outside when the temps dropped during the night, but inside the gym, even with the AC on, she was sweating an ungodly amount.
The mirrors in the room didn’t lie. She looked like a drowned rat. And in all his glory, John stood, muscles straining the fabric of his shirt an indecent amount.
“I’m not… I can’t. Won’t I hurt you?”
“Nah. Put some ass behind it, Abby. I want to know you can really do it if you need to.”
John charged at her, pinning her arms down and attempting to twist her in his hold. She kicked out, holding back just enough that she was sure he wouldn’t be hurt.
“Good. But I know you were holding back. You can’t do that, okay? Muscle memory is a real thing. I want you to practice how you would use the moves if you ever needed to.”
She nodded, walking over to the wall where her water bottle was sitting.
“I think that’s good for today.”
“No.” She swallowed another gulp of water. “I want you to show me one more thing.”
“Okay. What?”
“How do I get out of a hold like the one he had me in that night?”
The air in the room went still. John shook his head and Abby knew what he was going to say before it even left his lips.
“We don’t have to try that one right now.”
“We might as well. Seems like a pretty popular way to hold someone.”
“I think we’ve covered enough.”
“John.”
“Abby.”
No, she needed it. She needed to feel the very thing she was so afraid of, it continued to haunt her dreams. If he could teach her how to break the hold, it might just be the key to breaking the hold her nightmares had on her.
“Let’s just try it, okay?”
John was still shaking his head, looking as if even the idea of having to put her in that hold was going to break his heart. “You’ll tap out if it’s too much.”
“Yep. Just like a pro fighter. I’ll tap right out.”
John nodded and stepped behind her. His arm slid around her neck and she sucked in a harsh breath. A cold tingle started at the base of her spine and every bit of strength she had left in her body went towards keeping her emotions in check.
“Good?”
“Fine,” she whispered, wishing she had sounded stronger.
“Abby…”
“Keep going.”
His grip tightened, and she blinked. Their bodies were there, clearly visible in the mirror in front of them. She could see the concern on John’s face. John’s face. Not Marco. She hadn’t even seen his face during the attack. It was covered, and he’d come up from behind her. She remembered how confident he sounded when he whispered in her ear.
You look just like her.
Her heart pounded in her chest and she blinked back into the training room.
The hands around her now were there to teach her. They wanted to protect her. They didn’t want to hurt her.
You look just like her. I can’t touch her yet, so your final breath will have to do.
“First thing you want to do is place both of your hands on my arm and pull down, creating a little space for you to tuck your chin into.”
She swallowed down the fear. Her hands shook as she placed them on John’s arm and tried to pull him away from her to create enough space for her chin.
Let’s see how beautiful you are when you bleed out all around me.
John’s voice sounded like it was coming from a million miles away. Oh shit. Darkness edged in her vision. She struggled to get any air.
Abby slapped her hands on John’s arm, but he was already moving to release her. He wrapped his arms around her stomach and fell to the mat with her.
“Breathe, Abby. You’re good. You’re doing so good. Remember where you are. You’re safe here with me.” John reached for the zipper around her neck and pulled it down.
“No!” Her hands covered her exposed skin.
“You need to cool down. This pull-over being zipped all the way isn’t helping. I’ve seen it already. I’m the only person here, and I’ve already seen the scar. So, let’s get some cool air on you. It’ll help.”
“O-Okay.”
John opened her zip-up the rest of the way and tugged at the sleeves. She needed to get the shirt off. Her breathing picked up as she fought to pull it over her head. He was right. The cold air of the gym caressed her overheated skin and a bit of the darkness edging her vision started to clear.
“You’re still breathing too fast. Lean back and breathe with me.”
Abby let her body fall back onto John’s chest and they sat together, breathing in long, slow breaths until she felt back in control.
“I’m good now. Sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. Your body was having a response to a very traumatic memory.”
“I should be able to handle it.”
“Your body is telling you otherwise. I think we need to listen to it here. So, maybe we moved a little too fast into that one?” He smiled as she nodded. John’s hands moved up and down her arms, and she focused on how safe she felt in his arms.
“I’ve never told you about that night for me, have I?”
“No.”
“Do you want me to?”
Did she? No matter what, she at the very least owed it to him to listen. “Yes.”
“I was upset because I had forgotten to do something that Katy needed for school the next day. Can’t even remember what it was, but I was mid-panic texting my mom for help when I heard you scream. I ran around the corner as fast as I could and I swear my heart stopped beating the second my eyes landed on you.”
“Because there was a madman holding a knife to my throat?”
“No.”
“Why then?”
“Because you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. For a split second, I didn’t even register Marco. I just saw these big, beautiful blue eyes looking at me, and I froze. But then I saw what he was doing, and I was too slow. He moved his knife so quickly, and you never looked away from me. There was so much strength in the way you kept looking at me.
“When I caught you, I don’t know how to explain it Abby. It was like my whole world was in a free fall. And then you said your name and I realized you were Sam’s little sister. I just, I wanted to think that I was feeling so protective over you that night because of my friendship with Sam.”
“But that’s not why?”
“I think you’ve known for a while that it’s not about Sam.”
She sat silently, waiting for him to continue.
“I stayed at the hospital all night, waiting for an update. Your mom and Sam came running in and a nurse took them right back to you, but they didn’t leave your side. I didn’t know what happened.”
“You were working. Didn’t you have to go back to the station at least?”
“I called Hank. Explained that I needed to stay. You needed to give a statement and I wanted to make sure I was there in case you were afraid.”
“I don’t… I honestly don’t know what to say, other than thank you.”
“I just don’t ever want you to feel like you have to work through what happened that night on your own. I’m here. I’m here, and I want to walk through it with you.”