Chapter Twenty
Anya
As I gather my thoughts, I realize that Jacob will be the first person in a long time to whom I'll reveal the truth about Paul. Over the past two years, I've only confided in two people: Heather and Lana. Despite my efforts, others I've tried to trust with my story dismissed it as lies or exaggerations. The betrayal by those I considered friends and family left me guarded, reluctant to share my truth until I could be certain of acceptance and understanding.
Jacob sits before me, unaware of the weight of my past, the scars I carry hidden beneath a veneer of strength. Lana was right—I overreacted. Jacob didn't deserve my knee-jerk reaction; he couldn't be held responsible for a past he knew nothing about. With a deep breath, I steel myself to lay bare my vulnerabilities to him. It's a daunting prospect, but I owe it to myself—and perhaps to him—to let him in.
"Anya," Jacob's voice breaks through the heavy silence, drawing my attention back to him. His tone is gentle, inviting me to open up. With a resigned sigh, I gather my thoughts and begin, "First and foremost, I owe you an apology for my reaction earlier. It wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry for pushing you away like that."
He nods, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. "Can I hold your hand?" he asks tentatively, his concern palpable. I can't help but smile faintly at his request, touched by his sensitivity. "Yes, I'd like that," I respond softly, intertwining my fingers with his. His touch brings a sense of comfort, easing the tension that had been building within me.
Despite my earlier behavior, Jacob's warmth envelops me, offering solace in the midst of my turmoil. It's a reminder that despite my past and my insecurities, I'm not alone in this moment.
"I'm not going anywhere, Anya. Whatever it is you have to say, I'm still here," Jacob reassures me, his words a lifeline in the midst of my emotional storm. His steadfast presence gives me the strength to proceed.
Taking a deep breath, I continue, "Two years ago, I was in a serious relationship with a man who I thought I was going to marry and raise a family with. In fact, we almost did." Jacob's hand tightens around mine, offering silent support as I delve into painful memories.
"When I met… when Paul and I met, we immediately became friends. We were part of a group, similar to what we found here on the cruise, and we did everything together," I explain, feeling the weight of those past moments pressing down on me. Jacob's attentive gaze and compassionate demeanor encourage me to press on.
“We liked each other, but he was in a relationship with someone at the time, so I never pursued anything more than friendship with him. Plus, he was 18 and I was 16 at the time, so my parents would not have approved of our relationship anyway,” I explain, feeling the weight of those unspoken feelings from the past.
“We went our separate ways shortly after that,” I continue, taking a breath to steady my shaky voice.
“How come?” Jacob asks, his genuine curiosity evident in his tone. His interest in my story brings a small smile to my face, a glimmer of warmth amid the vulnerability of the moment.
"Honestly, I don’t know, our group kind of separated, and we all lost touch with each other," I answer, and Jacob nods in understanding.
"But the separation between me and Paul didn’t last long when we ran into each other on my 17th birthday, right before I was about to start my senior year of high school," I continue, a hint of nostalgia creeping into my voice. "I was at the mall with a huge group of my friends who decided to do a small shopping spree for me as a birthday gift. That’s when Paul ran into us as he came out of a store. He was so excited to see me that he picked me up and spun me around."
"Sounds like a happy time," Jacob adds, his voice filled with empathy as he listens to my story.
I let out a nervous laugh, “yeah, it was at that moment, and shortly after, we decided to date. My mom somehow convinced my dad to allow it despite Paul being 19 and me 17.” Jacob chuckles a little and then nods for me to continue.
“Things were great, Paul was so sweet and caring, we talked on the phone a lot.” I pause and take a breath, preparing myself to keep going. “A year into our relationship, he told me he was in the Marines. I was happy for him; both my dad and grandpa are veterans, so it wasn’t anything that would shock me.” I say with a shrug, noticing Jacob's attentive expression as he listens carefully.
“But then my dad started getting suspicious about Paul, asking if I was sure he was in the Marines. I didn’t see why Paul or anyone for that matter would lie about being in the military.” Jacob raises his brows as if to ask how I didn’t know about the term “stolen valor”. I hold out my hand as a gesture that I know what he’s thinking, “no, I was a na?ve 17-year-old who didn’t know anything about people pretending to be military,” I say with a chuckle. Jacob lets out a small laugh along with me, then says, “well, it can be easy to miss if you’re not looking for it.”
I smile at his understanding, then continue, “Anyway, I started asking Paul the same questions my dad was asking me. At first, Paul would brush them off and say things like he’ll tell me later or that he has it locked away somewhere, whenever I asked for physical proof.” Jacob wipes a tear from my cheek, I didn’t realize I began to cry. I breathe again and keep going.
"But as I asked more questions, things changed. Paul started yelling and screaming at me. We argued about where he was going at night. I began working while attending college, eventually switching to online classes because Paul got angry whenever anyone else talked to me." Jacob's gentle touch on the back of my hand offers comfort as I continue. "We never visited his house, and after my parents became suspicious, we stopped going to mine. So..." My body trembles, and Jacob moves closer, wrapping his arm around me. "It's okay, Anya. Take your time," he reassures me.
"So he would take me to motels after I got off work. I'd pick him up in my car from the mall, and then he would demand to drive," I explain. Jacob's curiosity prompts him to ask, "He took you to motels, not hotels?" I affirm with a nod, "Yeah, we didn't have a lot of money to afford hotels every day." Jacob's next question surprises me, "Well, at least he paid for them, right?" I let out a bitter laugh, "That's what I thought too, until I noticed all my tip money would be gone after dropping him off home each night." Jacob's expression shifts to shock, but instead of judgment, he offers comfort by rubbing my back, silently encouraging me to continue sharing my story.
"I'd let it go each time because I didn't have any bills to pay for at the time, but then when my parents started to take away my phone and car because I refused to stop seeing Paul, I found myself needing my money more and more," I continued, my voice trembling with emotion.
"Did he not have a job?" Jacob asks, his brow furrowing with concern.
"I thought he did, but every paycheck and tip I received, he would end up taking. After a while, I did confront him and told him to stop taking my money," I explain. Then, I recount the next part with a shaky breath, "That's when things went from bad to worse. He... he... he would..." I struggle to compose myself as tears stream down my face. "He would yell, and then... then I would yell back," I say, my voice cracking with emotion. "When I yelled back for the first time, he backhanded me and told me to never talk to him that way again," I confess, burying my face in my hands and crying harder.
Jacob pulls me closer, holding me gently as he whispers soothing words. "Shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here," he assures me, rubbing my back and stroking my head until I finally calm down. "I'm sorry, this part is always the hardest to get through," I apologize, wiping my tears away.
"Anya, you never need to apologize for sharing how you feel," Jacob says tenderly, cupping my face in his hands before kissing my forehead.
His kind words and understanding give me the courage to continue. "I stayed with him for a year after that, thinking I could help him. I was in college for psychology, so I figured I'd practice with him and help him get better. But it never did. He would berate me and tell me that no one else would love a slut like me," I recount, my voice trembling with the weight of the memories. "When he would hit me, it would only be in places no one ever saw because he made that mistake once and people kept asking questions. I wasn't allowed to be around him until my bruises and cuts healed after that," I explain, the pain of those memories still fresh in my mind.
"Then when it came to sex, I stopped wanting it from him because that was all we ever did when we would go to the motels. Anytime I told him no, he would get angry and hit me, then hold me down on the bed and force himself on me," I recount, the words heavy with the weight of my past trauma.
"I kept letting it go on until one day I had had enough. He took me to a motel that was run down and dirty. Apparently, I was a dirty whore, so I only deserved dirty motel rooms. His words, not mine," I clarify bitterly.
"It went as it always did, but this time he didn’t care where he hit me. By the end of it, I had a black eye, my wrist was bruised from him holding me down, a bruise on my back from his elbows digging into me, and a deep bruise around my neck from when he choked me till I blacked out," I manage to say before breaking down in tears once more.
Jacob pulled me onto his lap and held me until I couldn’t cry anymore. Then he cupped my face, his touch gentle and comforting. “Anya, I am so sorry that you had to go through that, and at such a young age. Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said, his voice filled with genuine empathy. He pulled me into his chest, and I leaned my head on his shoulder, finding solace in his embrace.
“I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Just when I heard military, all those horrible memories came flooding back, and I got scared that I would be going through that again.”
I felt Jacob tense up, and I pulled away from his chest to look at him, searching for his reaction. I noticed pain in his eyes, and my heart ached at the thought of causing him any distress. “Anya, I would never hurt you the way that he did. I understand why you reacted the way that you did, and—”
“I didn’t mean to insinuate that you were him, I—”
Jacob gently interrupted me, his touch soothing as he stroked my cheek. “I know. Let me finish, okay?” he said softly. I nodded, allowing him to continue.
“Like I said, I understand your reasons, and if you need me to provide you with any proof that I am not lying about who I am or me going into the military, I will do it for you in a heartbeat, no questions asked,” he reassured me, his words filled with sincerity and understanding.
As I lean back into his sturdy chest, my smile spreads across my face, a physical reflection of the warmth and contentment that fills me. I close my eyes, sinking deeper into his embrace, listening to the steady thump of his heart. The same heart that I had almost broken with my panicked words earlier. But now, as he wraps his arms around me, I feel safe and secure again. "Jacob?" I whisper, seeking reassurance.
"Yeah baby," he responds, his deep voice laced with affection.
"I'd like to be your girlfriend still if you still want me to be."
He tightens his arms around me in a gentle squeeze, his love for me evident in every touch. "More than anything," he replies, causing a surge of joy to fill my chest. I lean up and press my lips to his, the kiss quickly deepening as our longing for each other ignites.
Before we know it, I am straddling him in the chair, our bodies pressed together in perfect harmony. His hands find their way under my dress, eagerly grasping at my hips and pulling me closer. I can feel the growing hardness beneath his pants, a delicious reminder of how much he desires me.
His kisses become more urgent, his hands travelling further up my thighs until they reach the damp fabric of my underwear. I can feel the heat and wetness between my legs, aching for his touch. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locked with mine, and I know that he can see the desire reflected in my own gaze. With a low growl, he pushes my underwear aside, his fingers sliding between my folds, causing me to gasp and arch into his touch.
“Mmm I can never get over how wet you get for me baby” he whispers in my ear. His hot breath against my neck sending a jolt straight to my core.
He knows exactly how to pleasure me, how to make me feel alive and desired. His fingers move inside me, stroking me in a rhythm that sends shivers down my spine. My breath hitches as I cling to his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as I feel his finger move in and out of my pussy. He expertly reaches my g-spot with one finger and rubs my clit with the other. Sending waves of pleasure throughout my whole body. “I need” I pant,
“what is it baby, tell me what you need?” Jacob seductively whispers between each thrust of his fingers. I want him so badly, need him to fill me and take me to heights I've never known.
"Please, Jacob, please," I beg, my voice breaking with the intensity of my desire.
“Tell me baby” he teases me, slowing his fingers inside me.
“I need you inside me Jacob” I pant, begging him to give me more.
“Right here in the lounge gorgeous?” he teases once more and my inside are screaming!
“YES JACOB! I need you to fuck me!” I blurt out in a loud moan, then quickly cover my mouth for fear of someone hearing and walking in on us.
He doesn't waste any time, quickly unzipping his pants and freeing his erection. I gasp, looking around the lounge and we are the only ones here. Lana must’ve returned back to our cabin when she saw us.
My heart catches in my throat as I see the thickness and length of him, a sight that fills me with both fear and excitement. I take a deep breath and position myself over him, my hands shaking as I guide him inside me. Feeling both exhilarated and nervous about getting caught but I push that fear away and focus on this moment with Jacob.
The sensation is unlike anything I've ever felt before - intense, raw, and overwhelming. He fills me up completely, stretching me in a way that both pleases and pains me. I cry out as he enters me, my hips rocking gently against his. I can feel his muscles tightening and relaxing with each thrust, his movements deep and deliberate.
I cling to him, my nails digging into his flesh as I try to control my rising pleasure. His eyes remain locked with mine, his expression a mix of desire and tenderness. I can see how much he wants me the same way that I need him, and I feel safe and cherished in his arms. He continues to thrust into me, our bodies moving in perfect synchrony.
As we move faster, our breaths become ragged, our bodies slick with sweat. The room echoes with the sounds of our bodies together - the creaking of the chair, the slap of flesh against flesh, and the gasps and moans of pleasure. We are lost in our own world, oblivious to everything else.
And then, just as I'm on the verge of losing myself in the ecstasy, with one final thrust, Jacob and I both scream,
“Anya!”
“Jacob!”
Our release echoing through the room. I can feel his warm juices fill me, completing me in a way I never thought possible. I collapse against him, my body trembling with the aftershocks of my own climax.
We sit there, panting heavily, our hearts pounding in sync. He pulls me close, nuzzling my neck as he whispers, "I told you that before this trip was over you’d be riding me” he teases. I can't help but laugh at his playful words, feeling the warmth of his breath against my skin. "I had no idea this trip would be so adventurous, Jacob," I admit, my voice still breathy from what we just did. But there's no denying the thrill that runs through me - the risk, the intensity of our connection, and the sheer passion that fills the air.
We linger in each other's arms, our bodies still entwined and buzzing with the remnants of our passion. As I trace the line of his jaw with my fingers, I can't help but wonder if this is how it was always supposed be with someone.
In just five days, Jacob has managed to make me feel cherished and, dare I say it, loved. It's a feeling I haven't experienced in a long time, if ever. Though it's too early to predict what the future holds for us, I'm willing to take the leap and find out. There's something about him that makes me believe this could be different, something worth exploring. So, despite my reservations and past experiences, I'm ready to see where this journey with Jacob takes me.
As Jacob helps me up, I can't help but chuckle at the sight of him cleaning himself up with a nearby napkin. He hands one to me, and I gratefully accept, wiping the remainder of my juices. "What?" he asks, his smile widening at my amusement.
"I can't believe we just did it in the Ivory Lounge," I exclaim with a grin. He pulls me towards him and plants a kiss on my lips, "I guess we wanted to leave with a bang!" he teases, and I playfully swat his arm. "You've ruined the moment," I say jokingly as we both chuckle and make our way back to my cabin.
Jacob keeps his arm wrapped around my waist as we approach my cabin door. "I don’t know if I’ll see you tomorrow before we leave, but here is my number. I want you to text me when you get home,” he says, and I nod, feeling a mix of emotions at the impending farewell. But deep down, I know this isn't truly goodbye. He did ask me to be his girlfriend, after all.
He pulls me in close for one last kiss. "See you later, girlfriend?" he says with a playful wink. "Oh my god, stop!" I laugh, shaking my head as I playfully push him away. He chuckles, and I open my cabin door, watching as he walks backward. "See ya, Anya," he calls out, and I reply, "See ya, Jacob," as he disappears around the corner, heading towards the elevator.
I close the door behind me and lean against it, a wide smile spreading across my face. "Ahem," interrupts Lana, crossing her arms and giving me a knowing look. "Oh hey, I thought you were sleeping," I say, trying to play it cool as I head towards the bathroom.
"Oh no you don’t," Lana says, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the bed to sit. "Details! I want details," she insists, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
I smirk, pretending innocence. "What details?" I tease. "I don’t know what you’re talking about," I say, continuing to tease her.
"Uh huh, yeah right. When I left you two, you were both sucking face. Out with it, woman!" Lana presses, not buying my act for a second.
I laugh, unable to resist her persistence, and begin to recount every naughty detail that transpired between Jacob and me.
Lana sits there in shock and awe, then a huge grin spreads across her face. "You’re welcome," she teases. I can only laugh in response. "Yes, you were right. Thank you for bringing me back to reality and telling me to take a chance with Jacob," I say playfully.
She straightens her back in victory and smiles, "Like I said, you’re welcome," she chides once more. We both laugh, enjoying the light-hearted banter, and then begin to prepare for our departure from the ship in the morning. This vacation has been my best one yet! I think to myself and I can't wait to see what else the future holds.