Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Loch Crawe became a mist of glittery water through my tears.
The trees bled like a Monet painting.
After what seemed like an eternity, I raised my head from the steering wheel. I rubbed my eyes, clicked on my seatbelt and started up Marlene.
My phone lit up with texts and calls from Alison, Bennett and Dane asking if I’d located Evan.
I decided just to set off back to The Ramblings and tell them.
It was over. I’d been deluding myself. Evan and I weren’t meant to be.
No matter how badly I wanted it, I had to face the fact that our love wouldn’t be enough.
I hadn’t been enough for Leon. Perhaps this was Fate taking Evan and me in different directions?
The fields glided past in emeralds, ambers and jades.
Marlene slunk back into the grounds.
I parked up and tried to gather myself before confronting everyone.
My face was like an exploding tomato, and my hair was a sweaty tangle.
But I didn’t care.
I just wanted to closet myself in my room, peel off this dress and wallow.
‘You didn’t find him?’
Dane came bounding down the steps. He’d changed out of his suit and had thrown on a pair of his old stone-washed jeans and a Metallica T-shirt. He’d let his hair out of its ponytail, and it was flapping in the breeze.
‘He’s gone.’ I blundered past him.
Everyone was still milling around in the Great Hall, just as Dane and I entered. ‘Evan’s gone back to London,’ I rasped, my throat clotted with emotion. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go and get ready, and then Grandpa and I will be off.’
Everyone exchanged forlorn glances.
‘You’re leaving?’ piped up Dane. ‘What, today?’
‘Yes. I’m sorry. I can’t stay here. Not anymore. And I did say we’d leave after the first tour anyway.’
Dane gently guided me to one side. ‘Is there anything I can do?’
I gave him an appreciative, shaky smile. ‘Thank you, but no.’ I studied him through a mist of tears. ‘You know, I can’t believe how much you’ve changed.’
Dane blinked at me. ‘In what way?’
‘In every way. You’re much more considerate of people and more empathetic.’ I sighed. ‘Pity I hadn’t been more like that with Evan.’
Dane coloured under his stubble.
‘Don’t tell me Dane Lord, rock god, is blushing.’
He grinned at me from under his fair brows. ‘Like I said, that’s down to you. You’ve made me more human.’
‘Don’t be daft.’ I felt vulnerable and open right now, and I knew I’d evaporate into a puddle at any moment if anyone was nice to me.
‘It’s true,’ said Dane. ‘Your good qualities have rubbed off on me.’ He hesitated. ‘Look Daisy, I know I’ve said this before, but you know how I feel about you.’ Then he erupted, ‘Christ, my brother can be such a prick!’
He gathered himself and glanced up at the elaborate twirls and twists of the hall ceiling. He flicked his hair back like an agitated stallion. ‘I like you. You know that.’
‘Dane, I’m flattered, but now is not the right time.’
‘I know. I know. But just please hear me out.’ He lowered his voice as Louise drifted past on her way to the kitchen.
‘I can be patient. I’m prepared to wait.
For you, I mean. If there’s any chance in the future that you could look at me like you did at Evan, then you just whistle, and I’ll be there. ’
I bit back more tears. ‘Dane, please stop. I’m going to be crying all over you in a minute. You’re a talented and very attractive guy.’
‘But I’m not him,’ concluded Dane with a ghost of a smile.
I gave my head the briefest shake.
‘It’s ok. I get it. You can’t help who you fall for.’
I reached for Dane’s ringed hand and took it in mine.
Everybody had drifted off now in different directions, and it was just us alone in the hall.
‘I’m sorry. I think the best thing for me right now is to try and lay low for a while until this whole Fox thing calms down.
Spend time with Grandpa before heading back to London. ’
‘No, don’t be sorry. You’re being honest. That’s what matters.’
I gave his hand a playful waggle. ‘You’ll meet some stunning rock chick.’
He returned the friendly squeeze of my hand. ‘Nah. Not interested. I need to get over you first.’
I managed to laugh, but then a single tear slithered down my face.
‘Oh, please don’t cry. I’m useless when girls get upset. I always say the wrong thing.’
‘You haven’t this time.’
Dane stroked the tear from my cheek. ‘You really are so special, Daisy. Evan’s a dick.’
‘Maybe I’m the dick for not letting him explain. I just saw red when I found out he was Fox. I thought I couldn’t trust him. It reminded me so much of my ex, and I knew I couldn’t – and wouldn’t – go through all that again.’
I gathered my fists and rubbed my eyes. ‘Anyway, I’m going to get out of this governess gown and pack, and then Grandpa and I will be off.
I rubbed his hand with affection and then made for the staircase. My boots clicked up the first couple of steps before I turned around. Dane began to walk off.
‘Dane?’
He spun round. ‘Yep?’
‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’
‘For everything,’ I choked. ‘For what you said just now. For being kind.’
‘I was being truthful.’
I gulped. ‘Well, thank you.’
I gazed up at the soaring hallway. ‘I’m really going to miss this place.’
‘It’ll miss you.’
I clattered up a couple more steps of the staircase and looked around again at Dane standing below. I added, ‘At least Evan knows who he is now, and everything is out in the open.’
And as I swished up the remaining steps to my room, closed the door, peeled off the dress and unlaced my ankle boots, all I wanted to do was escape from The Ramblings with Grandpa and head home to Strath Ross.
Yes, I’d miss this house, but without Evan here, knowing that he’d gone and taken a piece of my heart with him, it was no longer the house I remembered.
* * *
Alison suggested Grandpa and I stay for dinner before we set off for Strath Ross, but I politely declined; much to the irritation of Grandpa, who’d fallen in love with Louise’s cooking.
The fact that she was serving Scottish venison tonight, with her homemade mashed potatoes and vegetable medley, fresh from The Ramblings gardens, didn’t make Grandpa’s mood any better.
Evan’s online revelations and him returning to London had made me feel stupid and wounded.
Still, I should have expected that. I hadn’t given him a chance to explain his reasons about him becoming Fox and why he’d chosen not to tell me. I’d let my dislike of Fox colour my view, and I hadn’t been able to see beyond that.
After throwing off the governess gown, I showered, pulled my hair into a ponytail and threw on one of my Mango T-shirts and a pair of wide-legged jeans.
Josie and Mindy had left to go home and relax after a hectic first tour day.
Josie had given me a prolonged hug and made me promise not to give up on my acting, and to not be a stranger, which had made me choke with more tears.
Once I’d assisted Grandpa with his packing, I took our cases downstairs to deposit them by the entrance.
As I got ready to make my way to the top of the Cinderella staircase, I tried to fight the temptation to look across at Evan’s bedroom.
The door was ajar, and Louise had stripped his bed.
Snapshots of Evan and me rolling around, making love, laughing and kissing spilled in front of my eyes.
To try and block out the pictures, I gripped the handles of our cases harder in each hand and thumped them down each of the stairs.
Louise, Alison, Bennett, Grandpa and Cayla were assembled in the hall. It looked like they’d gathered together to wave us off.
I noted that there was no Dane.
Had he taken offence at my rebuttal earlier?
Bennett noticed me frowning. ‘Dane has a gig at that new music venue in Kingussie.’
‘Oh, right.’
I plucked my phone out of my back pocket and glanced down at the screen. More missed calls and texts from people I’d acted with before, as well as more messages from Jade and Octavia about the Fox debacle. I’d speak to them when I felt up to it. There was nothing from Evan.
‘The proverbial shit has really hit the fan now.’ Bennett complained. ‘We’re getting calls and texts from the press about Evan. His Fox reveal even got a mention on the Six O’clock News.’
Alison attempted to brush off her husband’s concern. ‘It’ll all blow over. Must be a quiet news day.’ She let out an agitated sigh. ‘But I still can’t believe Evan was Fox in the first place.’
‘He was playing a part of sorts,’ I said, the meaning not lost on me. ‘His alter ego took off, and he was struggling to control everything. I get that now.’
Grandpa gave my arm a supportive squeeze.
I lingered, taking in the proud old paintings, the glossy butterscotch and white tiled floor and the mullioned windows. I imprinted every crevice and crenelation of The Ramblings in my mind so in the future I could pull it out of my memory and remember.
There were emotional kisses and hugs all round.
‘The Ramblings has a new lease of life now, thanks to you,’ said Alison, delivering a kiss to my cheek.
‘And we have plenty of volunteers to help with the future Florence tours, thanks to the Forrest Bank Players,’ added Bennett, giving me a protective hug.
It was Louise’s turn next to kiss Grandpa and me and show her affection. ‘Please come back and see us again soon.’
Grandpa nodded and smiled, but I knew in my heart I wouldn’t return here.
Cayla was next. She clung on to me and buried an emotional sob into my T-shirt, which made me fight more tears. She looked so different from earlier. She was back in her jeans and a strappy top. ‘Thank you so much, Daisy, for everything.’
I also noticed G
randpa give Louise a look that lasted a few seconds longer than necessary. I didn’t think it was just me who had lost my heart here at The Ramblings.
We all trooped out towards Marlene, and Bennett insisted on helping me stash our cases into the boot.
Once I’d got Grandpa comfy in the passenger side, I arranged my face into what I hoped was a winning smile and switched on Marlene. She purred into life.