CHAPTER FOUR
Kiara tapped the screen of her tablet, watching as the virtual page turned to the next one in the book she was reading.
The exhaustion and sickness that had arrived with her pregnancy had kept her in her room—close to her bed and her bathroom—for a big chunk of her time, so she’d been reading more than ever.
Reading had always been an escape for her. Through books, she’d experienced life beyond the homestead and then later, beyond Briar Hollow. And the stories she’d enjoyed the most had featured love as a main theme.
Not just a romantic love, though that had definitely been her preference. She’d also enjoyed stories that had featured close friendships and families who loved each other, even when things got tough.
She hadn’t had much love in her life, and she’d so desperately wanted more of it. The only person she’d felt loved by had been Angie, and she was so grateful she’d had that.
Though she'd experienced romantic love through the books she read, Kiara had never truly expected to find it for herself in real life. Now, with a baby growing inside her, she wondered if that dream was even more out of reach.
As a wave of nausea rolled through her, she tightened her grip on her tablet. She took slow, measured breaths, willing her stomach to settle. The medication from Doctor Misha helped, but it wasn't a cure-all. Some days were just harder than others.
A soft knock at her door made Kiara tense. She knew that Angie was spending time with Jude, so she didn’t know who else it could be.
"Who is it?" she called, tucking an errant curl behind her ear.
"It's me," came the muffled reply.
Kiara exhaled with relief. "Come in."
The door opened, and Angie slipped inside, her expression tense. She closed the door quickly behind her.
“Julian’s here,” she said as she crossed the room to sit on the loveseat beside Kiara.
“He’s back?”
She’d known he’d be back eventually, but she hadn’t expected him to return so soon.
In some of the conversations they’d had, he’d spoken about how much he couldn’t wait to get back to New York and away from the estate.
Though he’d left the estate for short periods of time, she’d expected that this trip would keep him away longer.
Angie nodded. “He’s back, and he’s looking for you.” She reached out and grabbed Kiara’s arm. “He knows.”
Kiara's stomach twisted with something worse than morning sickness. She set her tablet down, fingers trembling slightly. "Duncan told him?"
Angie nodded, her blue-green eyes filled with concern. "He wants to talk to you."
"Of course he does," Kiara muttered, pressing a hand to her stomach. She'd known this moment would come eventually, but she'd hoped for more time. Time to figure out what she wanted. What was best for her baby.
"How did he seem?" Kiara asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.
"Shocked." Angie squeezed her arm before moving her hand down to intertwine her fingers with Kiara’s. “But he didn’t seem mad.”
That was something, at least. Kiara had been bracing herself for anger, accusations, demands for proof. Shock she could handle. She'd been shocked herself when she'd first realized she was pregnant.
"I don't know what to say to him," Kiara admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
The words she'd practiced in her head over the past few weeks suddenly seemed inadequate. How did you tell someone they'd fathered a child during a night they clearly didn’t remember?
Angie's grip on her hand tightened. "You don't have to say anything you're not ready to say. But Kiara…" She paused, her expression growing more serious. "He has a right to know, doesn't he? About the baby?"
The question hung in the air between them. Kiara had wrestled with it countless times, especially during the long nights when sleep eluded her and her mind refused to quiet. She'd gone back and forth so many times about it. In some ways, it was a relief to have it taken out of her hands.
“I keep thinking about what's best for the baby," Kiara said finally. "Julian doesn't even remember that night. What if he thinks I'm lying? What if he wants nothing to do with us?"
"Then that's his loss," Angie said fiercely. "But what if he surprises you? What if he wants to be involved?"
That possibility terrified Kiara almost as much as the alternative. Julian's world was so different from hers—expensive suits, international travel, beautiful women who graced magazine covers. She couldn't imagine how a small-town girl and an unplanned baby would fit into that life.
Another wave of nausea hit, stronger this time. Kiara pressed her lips together and breathed through her nose, willing it to pass. The stress wasn't helping her morning sickness at all.
"I guess I don't have a choice anymore," she said when the feeling subsided. "I have to talk to him."
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Angie asked, concern etching her features.
Kiara considered it for a moment. Having Angie there would be comforting, but this conversation needed to happen between just her and Julian.
"No," she said finally. "This is something I need to do myself."
Angie nodded, though reluctance showed in her eyes. "I'll tell him he can come up, then."
“I think I’d rather meet him downstairs,” she said. “Maybe in the solarium if no one is using it.”
“I’ll check, then send you a text if it’s empty.”
“I need to freshen up,” Kiara said, glancing down at her oversized t-shirt and leggings. “Tell Julian I’ll meet him in the solarium in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay.” Angie leaned over and gave her a hug. “Let me pray for you.”
Kiara sagged against her, drawing on her sister’s strength, which was different from how their dynamic usually was. She was used to being the strong one. The one taking care of everything.
“Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of life and this little one You’ve given Kiara, regardless of the circumstances that have led to this point.
I pray You give her strength and wisdom as she navigates the road ahead with Julian.
Also open Julian’s heart and mind to this new life he’s been a part of creating.
I ask that You reveal Yourself clearly to Kiara and Julian in their current circumstances.
I love Kiara so much and want the best for her. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Kiara had never embraced faith in God the way Angie had, but she appreciated the prayer and hoped that God would hear and answer her sister’s prayer.
Angie gave her a tight squeeze, then released her. “Okay. I’m going to see if the solarium is free. If it’s not, where do you want to meet?”
Kiara knew where she didn’t want to meet him. “I don’t know, but not the library.”
Angie stared at her for a long moment, then gave a single nod. “Maybe the living room.”
“That would work.”
Sliding off the bed, Angie said, “I’ll text you in a couple of minutes.”
When Angie closed the door behind her, Kiara hurried to the bathroom. After emptying the contents of her stomach, she splashed water on her face.
A glance in the mirror told her that she wasn’t looking her best, and unfortunately, makeup probably wasn’t going to help much. Still, she dabbed a bit of concealer under her eyes.
When the text from Angie came in, letting her know that the solarium was available, Kiara’s stomach lurched again. She got a ginger candy from her nightstand and popped it into her mouth, hoping it would help quell the nausea a little.
She swapped her T-shirt for a sweater and a new pair of leggings—the only really comfortable pants she had. It took a few minutes to pull her hair back into a ponytail and then put product in it to try to control the frizz a bit.
Her curls weren’t tight, but they had a tendency to go frizzy if she didn’t take special care of her hair.
All through her preparations, she gave herself a pep talk.
“You’ve got this, Kiki,” she murmured as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “You survived years with Jim. You can do this. You’re not alone. Angie is there for you.”
She rested her hand on her stomach. It was still flat. Well, not flat, because she’d always had a bit of a belly to match her curves. But even though her belly hadn’t yet grown noticeably, there was a presence that was relying on her to protect it. To plan a future for them.
And the first step in doing that was to have a conversation with Julian, and whatever that entailed.
She took a steadying breath and made her way downstairs. Each step felt heavier than the last, her legs unsteady beneath her. The ginger candy helped with the nausea, but it couldn't touch the knot of anxiety that had settled in her chest.
The solarium was tucked away at the back of the house, its glass walls offering a view of the estate's flower garden. Kiara had always loved the room—it felt separate from the rest of the house somehow, more peaceful. She hoped that tranquility might help her get through this conversation.
When she pushed the door open, Julian was already there.
He stood with his back to her, hands clasped behind him as he stared out at the garden.
He wasn’t wearing a suit jacket, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up, making him look less intimidating than she'd expected.
Still, her heart hammered against her ribs.
He turned at the sound of the door opening, and Kiara's breath caught in her throat. His green eyes met hers across the room, and she saw her own uncertainty reflected there.
"Kiara." His voice was rougher than she remembered, strained in a way that made her stomach clench.
"Julian." She stayed by the door for a moment, suddenly unsure of her legs. The ginger candy dissolved on her tongue, leaving behind a sharp sweetness that did nothing to calm her nerves.
He gestured toward the wicker seating area near the windows. "Would you like to sit?"