CHAPTER FIVE
Once the conversation had died off between him and Kiara, Julian left the solarium. Not wanting to have another conversation with Duncan, he’d sent him a message to let him know the wedding was a go, and that he was dealing with jetlag and needed to take a nap.
What he really wanted—besides a nap—was a drink, so he headed for his room.
After being given the rehab ultimatum, he’d known that Duncan would have had all the alcohol removed from his room. What the man didn’t know, however, was that Julian had always kept a private stash, just in case something like that happened.
He opened the large, locked chest in his walk-in closet, where he’d hidden a plentiful supply of his favorite whiskey, and pulled out a bottle. Just holding the bottle helped ease a little of the anxiety his conversation with Kiara had caused.
Though he’d planned to just have one drink, in the end, he consumed enough to help him pass right out.
And over the next three days, he had to drink more each night in order to quiet his mind enough to sleep.
Having Angela back should have been the happiest time in his life, but it had made the memories that had haunted him over the years become even more vivid.
Which was no doubt why his alcohol intake had increased the way it had.
Every time he closed his eyes to sleep, memories flooded in from that horrible time.
And now, he was faced with losing the one thing that had helped him cope. He was dreading rehab even more than he was the upcoming wedding.
But in order to secure the future he wanted for himself, he had to deal with both.
“You can do it,” he murmured as he struggled to fasten his cufflinks.
Though he had the money to strike out on his own, he wouldn’t be able to have the impact he had leading Burke NeuroTech. He enjoyed working alongside people whose passions and intellect allowed them to create truly innovative things to help people in the future.
A knock on the door had him glancing over at it. “Come in.”
The door opened to reveal Anthony. “I was told to come check on you.”
“Making sure I haven’t escaped out a window?” Julian asked as he turned his attention back to the cufflink.
“Something like that.” Anthony approached him. “Here. Let me help.”
When Duncan had told Julian that he’d need to choose someone to stand up with him, he’d initially thought about asking one of the guys he’d stayed in contact with after college. However, he wasn’t sure any of them would understand what was happening.
Instead, he’d chosen the man who had been with him nearly every day, protecting him and making sure he got where he needed to go safely. Anthony was probably a better friend to him than any of those guys were, if he was honest.
“Thanks,” Julian said when the cufflinks were in place. “Is everything a go?”
“Kiara hasn’t backed out, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Julian nodded. “I guess it’s time then.”
There would be no guests aside from family present. And once the ceremony was over, he’d be leaving on a plane for the rehab center his dad had chosen for him.
There was a pit in Julian’s stomach as he and Anthony walked down the hallway to the stairs. The civil ceremony was going to take place in the solarium, where just four days earlier, he and Kiara had decided to take this step.
Or rather, Kiara had decided to take this step. He hadn’t had a choice.
What was happening began to really sink in as he and Anthony walked down the stairs together. Julian gripped the banister, grateful for something solid to anchor him as he felt like his world tilted on its axis.
The whiskey from the night before had left him with a dull ache behind his eyes, but it wasn't enough to drown out the surreal nature of what was about to happen.
In less than an hour, he'd be married to a woman he barely knew, who carried the child that he couldn't even remember creating.
"You doing okay?" Anthony's voice cut through his spiraling thoughts.
Julian forced his shoulders back, straightening his spine the way his father had taught him years ago. He smoothed his tie, the silk feeling like a noose around his neck. "Just peachy."
The sarcasm felt familiar on his tongue, a shield he'd perfected over the years.
As they approached the solarium, Julian could see through the glass doors that Duncan and Elizabeth were already there, along with Annie, Benjamin, Angela, and Jude. A man he didn't recognize—presumably the officiant—stood near the windows with a small leather portfolio in his hands.
And then there was Kiara.
She stood beside Angela, wearing a cream-colored dress with a full skirt that didn’t quite reach her ankles. In her hands was a small colorful bouquet.
Anthony stepped ahead of him and pulled the door open. With a deep breath, Julian stepped into the solarium. All eyes turned toward them, and Julian gave a slight nod as he made his way to where Kiara stood.
Duncan’s gaze was on him, but his expression was unreadable. Elizabeth offered a gentle smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Julian wondered what she truly thought of this hastily arranged marriage.
His own mother knew nothing about what was going on. He didn’t need a lecture from her about what he was doing. Even without talking to her, he knew what her opinion would be, and he didn’t need to hear it.
After a few brief pleasantries, Julian and Kiara took their places in front of the officiant.
The gray-haired man with wire-rimmed glasses cleared his throat. “We're gathered here today to join Julian Burke and Kiara Reynolds in matrimony.”
Julian stood stiffly beside Kiara, acutely aware of the small distance between them. She smelled faintly of vanilla and something floral he couldn't quite identify.
He wondered what she was thinking at that moment. Was she feeling as conflicted as he was?
The officiant continued with the ceremony, his words washing over Julian in a haze.
The sunlight streaming through the glass walls felt too bright, intensifying his headache. He blinked against it, trying to focus on the words being spoken.
They had chosen to go with simple vows rather than writing anything personalized, and thankfully, they just had to repeat them after the officiant rather than try to memorize them.
“Julian, do you take Kiara to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
The question hung in the air. Julian swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, waiting. The silence stretched until it became uncomfortable.
"I do," he said finally, the words scraping his throat raw.
The officiant turned to Kiara. "Kiara, do you take Julian to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Julian risked a glance at her. Her face was pale, but her voice was steady when she answered. "I do."
"The rings?"
Julian's stomach dropped. In all the rushed preparations, he hadn't even thought about rings. He started to turn toward Anthony, panic rising in his chest.
But Duncan stepped forward, extending his hand. Two simple gold bands rested in his palm.
"Here," he said quietly.
Julian took the smaller ring, his fingers trembling slightly as he reached for Kiara's left hand. Her skin was soft and warm, a stark contrast to the cold metal he slipped onto her finger.
When she placed the larger band on his finger, her touch was gentle, but her hand was no steadier than his. The ring felt foreign and heavy against his skin.
"By the power vested in me by the state of Idaho, I now pronounce you husband and wife." The officiant closed his portfolio with a soft snap. "You may kiss the bride."
Julian's breath caught. He hadn't considered this part either. He turned toward Kiara, meeting her wide hazel gaze. The uncertainty he saw there mirrored his own.
He leaned down, gently cupping her shoulders as his lips brushed hers in the briefest of kisses. Her lips were soft and carried a light taste of strawberry that lingered on his lips even as he pulled back after just a second.
Julian stepped back, his hands falling to his sides as polite applause filled the solarium. The sound felt hollow in the glass-walled room, echoing off the windows and plant-filled corners.
Nodding stiffly at the small gathering, Julian accepted their congratulations with mechanical responses that felt disconnected from his body.
"Congratulations," Duncan said, stepping forward to shake his hand. His grip was firm, businesslike. "I'm proud of you for doing the right thing."
The right thing.
Julian's jaw tightened at the phrase, but he managed a nod. Elizabeth embraced both him and Kiara with genuine warmth, though Julian caught the worry in her eyes when she looked at him.
Angela hugged Kiara tightly, whispering something in her ear that Julian didn't catch. When she turned to him, her smile seemed forced, strained at the edges.
"Take care of yourself," she said quietly, and Julian knew she was referring to more than just the rehab.
He knew her loyalties would always be with Kiara, and he couldn’t blame her for that, but he appreciated that she was expressing care for him too.
"Thank you," Julian managed, his throat constricting around the words.
Benji approached them with his usual good humor, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. "Congrats, bro! And welcome to the family officially, Kiara." He pulled Julian into a quick hug, slapping his back with enthusiasm that felt jarringly out of place.
The small reception that followed felt like an exercise in endurance. The most awkward social event he’d been to in years.
Julian accepted a glass of sparkling cider—not champagne, he noted bitterly—and stood beside his new wife as they made stilted conversation with the small gathering.
His fingers kept finding the unfamiliar weight of the gold band on his left hand, twisting it unconsciously.
The gold band felt like it was burning into his skin.
"We should leave soon," Anthony murmured, appearing at his elbow. "The plane is scheduled for departure from Coeur d’Alene in an hour."