CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kiara tugged her dress into place over her bump. She’d rarely worn dresses over the years, since they’d never been practical. But now that it was summer, dresses were more comfortable for her.
Stranger than her wearing a dress was why she was wearing one. As she scrunched product into her curls, she wondered if she still had time to back out.
When Angie had asked her the previous night if she wanted to go to church with her and Jude, for some reason, Kiara had said yes. Her sister had seemed so excited at the prospect, and Kiara hadn’t wanted to disappoint her.
For their whole life together, Kiara had tried her best to protect Angela and to make her happy, if possible. So, not wanting to see Angela’s happiness dimmed by declining the invitation, she’d said yes.
Surely, she could survive an hour in church. She’d done it before, so there was no reason why she couldn’t do it again.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go to church. It had more to do with not knowing what to expect, or what expectations Angie might have because Kiara agreed to go with her.
Once she was ready, Kiara left her room and went to the kitchen to grab some breakfast before Jude and Angie picked her up. She needed to make sure she had something in her stomach.
As the kitchen came into view, Kiara’s steps faltered. Julian was standing in front of the coffee pot, dressed like he was headed out somewhere.
Usually, he wore jeans and a T-shirt around the estate. Right then, he had on a pair of black slacks and a light blue button-up shirt, tucked into his pants. His hair also looked like it was styled, rather than lying in loose waves the way he’d been wearing it lately.
Was he headed somewhere on business? He hadn’t mentioned anything about a trip, but that didn’t mean much. After all, he didn’t owe her any details about his schedule.
He glanced up as she approached, a smile growing on his face as he greeted her. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” She went around the opposite side of the large island and headed for the fridge to pull out a container of yogurt and then grabbed some granola from the pantry.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” he asked as he turned to lean back against the counter next to the coffee maker. He lifted his mug to take a sip.
She was tempted but shook her head. “I try not to drink any unless I really need the caffeine. I slept well enough last night that I think I’ll be okay.”
“You won’t fall asleep during the service?” Julian asked.
“I certainly hope not,” she said. “That would be extremely embarrassing. Especially if I started snoring.”
“I’ll poke you in the ribs if you do,” he offered.
Kiara stopped stirring the granola into her yogurt and focused on Julian. “Are you going to church too?”
Julian nodded. “I decided that I’d like to give it a try. Elijah has talked about his faith a lot, so I thought I’d see what someone else has to say about it.”
“Well, I’m going because I didn’t want to disappoint Angie. She seemed so happy, I didn’t want to turn her down.”
“This will be a new experience for me,” Julian said. “I’ve only attended church on special occasions like Christmas, and that was mainly back when I was a teen, and Duncan and Elizabeth could force me to go.”
“I’ve gone a few times with Angie in the past.” Kiara returned to preparing her yogurt. “But church never really clicked with me the way it did with her.”
“Maybe it will be different this time,” Julian said.
“Maybe.” Kiara got herself a glass of water, then went to sit on one of the bar stools at the island counter. “Do Jude and Angie know you’re coming?”
“Yes. I had to let Jude know for security purposes. Two bodyguards will be coming with us, so we’ll be taking one of the estate’s SUVs.”
“I wonder how the bodyguards feel about attending church this morning?”
“Oh, they get used to going to all sorts of places,” Jude said. “Church is probably one of the least stressful locations they’ve had to go.”
“Did you have breakfast?” Kiara asked as Jude sat down on a bar stool.
“I had a piece of toast. I’m not a big breakfast eater, to be honest.”
“I don’t mind breakfast,” Kiara said. “We always had to eat it because Jim didn’t want us to have any excuse not to have energy to do all the work he had for us during the day.”
“So he thought breakfast was the most important meal of the day?”
“Something like that.” Kiara swallowed a spoonful of yogurt. “At least I’m able to eat breakfast most days now. Ever since morning sickness hit, it has been a difficult meal to tolerate.”
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
“Not too bad,” she said. “I find that eating small amounts every couple of hours helps to keep the nausea at bay.”
“Are you bringing food with you?”
Kiara laughed. “Oh, these days, I always have a stash of food, candy, and a bottle of water in my bag. I had to change my usual purse for a bigger one to accommodate all my necessities.”
“Candy?”
“Ginger candy,” she said. “It helps to control the nausea. I wouldn’t be able to drag out a granola bar and start munching on it in the middle of the service if the nausea kicks in.”
“We can sit near the back, so if you have to slip out, you don’t have to walk past everyone.”
“I think that might be a good idea, though I’m sure Jude and Angie sit near the front.”
“We’ll hang out at the back with Anthony and whoever else comes with us.”
When Kiara’s phone beeped, she pulled it out of her purse and checked the message. “Jude and Angie are on their way.”
Julian got to his feet and went to the sink to rinse out his mug. Kiara finished the last of her yogurt, then put her bowl into the dishwasher.
“Got everything?” Julian asked as she picked up her purse.
“Yes. I think so.”
They walked out onto the large porch to wait for the SUV.
It was a beautiful, sunny and warm morning, and Kiara enjoyed it in a way she never would have during their life on the homestead.
Sunny and warm in Kentucky usually ended up being hot and humid in the afternoon, which meant they were sweaty and gross.
When the SUV pulled up, she saw Anthony and Lucy in the front seats, while Jude and Angie were in the second row. Jude climbed out and stood by the open door.
“Would you like to sit next to Angela?” he asked when Kiara reached him.
“No. I’m fine sitting in the back with Julian.”
Jude looked over at Julian, who gave him a nod. “I’m good in the back.”
Kiara sometimes forgot that Jude was technically Julian’s employee. She probably shouldn’t have said he’d be sitting in the back with her.
However, Julian apparently had no problem with the plan. Once Jude folded part of the middle seat forward, Julian climbed in and sat down, then leaned forward to offer Kiara his hand.
She took it and allowed him to help steady her as she stepped up into the SUV. As soon as she was seated, she let go of his hand so she could put her seatbelt on. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
Jude lowered the seat back into place, then climbed in and took his place next to Angie. From her seat behind them, Kiara saw Jude reach over and take Angie’s hand. She turned to smile at him, then leaned her head on his shoulder.
Emotion pricked at Kiara’s eyes, and she turned her gaze to the window beside her.
She was so glad to see Jude offering Angie affection.
He’d always been so reserved that Kiara had been concerned that he wouldn’t be affectionate with Angie the way she wanted without her being the one to initiate it.
Seeing the interaction between the two was bittersweet. She was happy that her worst fears hadn’t been realized, and that Jude had seen value in Angie. That he’d found her worth loving.
Something told Kiara that she wasn’t going to experience the same thing.
When she’d first been taken from her family, her eight-year-old self had been so excited. Finally, she’d be with people who wanted her. Who would love her.
Only that hadn’t been the case. No matter how good she had tried to be, they never loved her the way she’d hoped they would.
Sandra had always favored Angie, and though Kiara had initially resented Angie because of that, she’d soon realized that the sweet little girl with blonde hair and blue-green eyes actually loved her.
She’d followed Kiara around, trying to help her. When she fell or got hurt, she’d wanted Kiara to help her feel better. And when Kiara would get hurt or cried, Angie had been right there, hugging her and stroking her hair.
Angie had been the one person who had been there for her, regardless of what else was going on in their lives. She’d even stood up for Kiara when Sandra would get frustrated with her.
And now Angie had someone who loved and protected her. She’d been able to offer Jude a pure and beautiful love.
Kiara had made a bad decision and ended up in a loveless marriage that had an end date.
She moved her hand to rest it on her stomach. At least she would be left with someone to love. Someone who needed her, and who would hopefully, one day, come to love her. It wouldn’t be the type of love she’d dreamed of, but it would be enough.
But the first thing she had to do was pack away the bitter in moments like these, and just focus on the sweet. Overall, she was in a much better situation than she’d been in in Briar Hollow.
And for now, she needed to focus on preparing for her baby and figuring out how to be the best mom she could be for him, despite having had two very poor examples of motherhood so far in her life.
She couldn’t keep letting those thoughts and feelings drag her down. If Angie sensed that she was feeling even a little depressed, it would make her worry. And the last thing she wanted was to put a dent in her sister’s happiness.
While Angie might be currently distracted by her new marriage to Jude, it wouldn’t last forever. Sooner or later, she would focus on Kiara again, and as Angie’s big sister, it was Kiara’s responsibility to keep her from worrying.