Chapter 19
Gadiel had always wanted to see America.
But he hadn’t thought it would happen in such circumstances. Not that he was complaining, per se. He was glad they were leaving Dubai, even though they probably didn’t need to cross the ocean to lie low for a while. They could have stayed on the outskirts of Dubai with the same result. But going somewhere far away felt safer. After what happened, he no longer felt comfortable at home.
Gadiel still had no idea why someone had put a bug on him, but considering that it was most likely the same people who had brutally killed Zain’s staff ... the thought made him shiver and clutch Will’s sleeve like a lost child.
Will had barely given him time to pack before rushing him to the airport. There was a private jet waiting for them there courtesy of Zain, and before Gadiel knew it, they were in the air, flying across the ocean to New York City.
New York City.
“Why there?” Gadiel asked.
“It’ll be easy to lose any pursuers in a city that big and lie low for a while.”
“We could have gone to Moscow or Beijing, for example—they’re closer.”
“Yes,” Will said. “But I don’t know the languages and we’ll stick out like a sore thumb. It will be easier to disappear in a city like New York for English-speaking, white—or white-passing—men. Plus, home turf advantage.”
Gadiel perked up. “Are we going to your place?”
Will gave him a look. “Of course not. That would be too obvious.” When Gadiel deflated in disappointment, Will said, “Besides, I don’t really have one.”
Gadiel frowned, confused. “You don’t have a home?”
Was that discomfort in Will’s eyes?
“I grew up in Scott’s parents’ house and went straight to college. Then I was in the army, and later moved around a lot as a bodyguard. It didn’t make much sense to get a place if I was never there, especially in this economy.”
“Oh,” Gadiel said. The explanation did make a lot of sense, but it still made him a little sad. “But don’t you want to settle down?” he asked, touching Will’s arm.
“I was going to, before taking this job,” Will said with a rueful smile. “I’ve been saving up for years, and I finally have the financial cushion to start my own private security firm. I’ve started looking for a place too.”
“That’s—that’s great,” Gadiel said sincerely, but his heart dropped as he realized what that meant. Will was returning to the US for good, which... was to be expected. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But somehow, hearing Will talk about it made it real. And it made the idea he’d been toying with for the past few hours impossible.
It had been a stupid idea anyway. And unrealistic. But it had seemed like a good solution: talk Will into staying and becoming his permanent bodyguard. Even marriage to the president’s daughter didn’t seem as daunting and miserable if Will stayed by his side. Gadiel had convinced himself that it could work, that he would be almost happy that way. The pathetic truth was, he probably would be. The pathetic truth was, even if Will never touched him again, he would be happy to have Will in any capacity, even in the capacity of a trusted bodyguard. Gadiel just didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t want to lose him. No matter how stupid and illogical it was, Will felt like his . Gadiel wanted—needed—him to stay with him, always.
But of course it wasn’t possible. Of course Will wouldn’t want to stay by his side in another country on a permanent basis. Will had dreams and ambitions too. Dreams that didn’t include permanently bodyguarding a closeted foreigner with a giant boner for him.
“Hey,” Will said, ever so perceptive. “What is it?”
Looking into his attentive, concerned eyes, Gadiel felt an overwhelming rush of an emotion he couldn’t put a name to. What was this feeling, choking him on the inside, hungry yet warm, so very warm? He’d never felt like this with anyone. He wanted to bury his fingers in Will’s hair and yank him on top of himself, suck him inside, into the black hole inside his chest, and never let him out.
“Nothing,” Gadiel said with a weak smile. But the emotion—the hunger—needed an outlet, so he darted forward and kissed Will on the stubbled cheek. Mine, he should be mine, why isn’t he mine?
Will tensed up, looking at him intently. “What was that for?” he said.
Gadiel shrugged and, leaning back in his seat, closed his eyes. “Wake me up when we arrive, okay? I’m tired.”
“Of course,” Will said after a moment. “Good night.”
“Good night,” he whispered, his throat becoming thick with raw emotion when Will covered him with a blanket.
Mine, he should be mine, why can’t he be mine?
****
New York City greeted them with freezing rain.
Despite the weather, Will seemed pleased. “Visibility is poor, so it’ll be harder to track us with CCTV cameras,” he explained to Gadiel, guiding him with a firm hand on Gadiel’s back. That was about the only part of Gadiel’s body that felt remotely warm.
“I’m wet and cold to the marrow of my bones,” Gadiel said sulkily. “I hate rain.”
Will laughed, tugging him closer. “Then you definitely shouldn’t be moving to the UK. You’d hate it there.”
Gadiel hummed, his discomfort forgotten now that he could feel Will’s hard, warm body against his. God, he felt like crawling inside his shirt. Or better yet, inside his skin. It would be so warm there. So safe.
Gadiel shook his head, trying to shake off his weird thoughts.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, they reached their destination: a residential building on a quiet street in Brooklyn. The neighborhood with its tree-lined sidewalks probably looked lovely on any other day, but right now it was gray and wet, and Gadiel wasn’t really in the mood to admire the sights.
Will left his side for a few minutes to pick up the keys and then ushered him into an apartment on the second floor.
“It’s not much,” Will said, guiding Gadiel inside with a hand on his shoulder.
Gadiel looked around curiously.It was a modest apartment, with a small open plan living room with a kitchen area, and two tiny bedrooms. It was easilythe smallest place Gadiel had ever lived in, a far cry from the large, luxurious apartments and houses he was used to.
But to his surprise, he found that he didn’t mind. Even he registered it as strange, because if he was honest, he was spoiled when it came to his creature comforts. But he truly didn’t mind. Maybe it had something to do with Will’s presence at his back, with Will’s grounding touch on his shoulder. Will had stuck close to him ever since the attack on Zain’s house. Gadiel didn’t exactly mind. He liked having Will in his personal space. He wanted him there always.
“I like it,” Gadiel said, looking back at Will.
Will’s lips twitched. “I doubt it,” he said dryly. “The entire apartment is smaller than your wardrobe.”
Gadiel grinned. “Size isn’t everything, right?”
Will cleared his throat a little and looked away.“Take a hot shower and change into something dry before you catch a cold,” he said, handing him his suitcase. “Gadiel,” he said when Gadiel had started turning away.
Gadiel looked back at him.
Will stepped closer, laying a heavy hand on his shoulder again. His expression was steady and intent as he looked into Gadiel’s eyes. “I know this must be too sudden and overwhelming for you. You must be scared. But I promise, I will keep you safe.”
Gadiel shook his head a little. “I’m not scared. I know you’ll keep me safe.” Leaning in, he brushed his lips against Will’s cheek, shivering as his smooth skin pressed against Will’s stubbled jaw. “I trust you.”
Will’s body was stiff and unyielding. “Go take a hot shower,” he said, his voice a little rough.
Gadiel licked his dry lips.
Unable to speak, he nodded and entered one of the bedrooms. He closed the door and leaned back against it.
He breathed out, his thoughts racing and his body suddenly weak with a mix of exhaustion and need. He felt so tired, and yet all he wanted was to open the door, grab Will’s hand, drag him into the bed, and then sleep for a day wrapped up in him. They were safe now. Safe and alone. In New York City.
God, it was still hard to believe that he was in America. Everything had happened so fast.
But he was in America, something he’d always dreamed about. With Will.
A surge of giddy excitement flooded his stomach.
He knew Will was straight. He knew it wasn’t a permanent arrangement. He knew he’d have to go back home after the danger passed.
But it didn’t seem to matter.
For the first time in his life, Gadiel felt... happy.