Chapter 18
When Will finished his bedtime routine, it was well past midnight.
Sitting down on the bed, he checked his phone. He had four new messages.
You’re an asshole.
I fucking hate you.
Dick.
Call me!
Will heaved a sigh, running a hand over his face. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. Though truth be told, he was a little relieved too. If Scott was texting him, he wasn’t very hurt. Just annoyed. Radio silence would have been more alarming.
Will tapped Call.
Scott picked up on the first ring.
“Did you get to your hotel all right?” Will said. “You didn’t mention it.”
“I forgot,” Scott said. “In my defense, my mind was a little preoccupied by the fact that my cousin stole my future boyfriend.”
There was something about the way Scott said “my future boyfriend” that rubbed Will the wrong way. He just... didn’t like it.
Frowning, Will said stiffly, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but Gadiel isn’t a thing to be stolen.”
Scott scoffed. “So you aren’t even denying it?”
“I am denying it. Stealing implies intent. I didn’t expect that he’d...”
“Get a giant crush on you?”
An image of Gadiel on his knees flashed to the forefront of Will’s mind. Pretty blue eyes looking up at him in a way that could only be called besotted. Soft, full lips stretched around his cock—
“Will? You there?”
“I mean,” Will said, clearing his throat a little. Christ, he needed to put what had happened out of his mind. “Surely you can’t blame me for something I can’t control.”
Scott sighed. “I guess you can’t help looking the way you look. I doubt he started crushing on you because of your personality. You’re so damn boring compared to me.”
Will shook his head with a smile. “Sure, buddy.” Whatever made Scott feel better.
“Don’t patronize me! I kind of hate you right now.”
Sighing, Will stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “You know I’m straight, Scott. I never expected this to happen.” That was putting it mildly.
“But it happened.”
“I’m sorry,” Will said, though truth be told, he didn’t feel particularly sorry—at least not where Scott was concerned. He felt no guilt over getting in the way of Gadiel and Scott’s romance. Gadiel didn’t belong to Scott—had never belonged to him. Will was sorry that Scott’s hopes hadn’t materialized, but that was it. Scott and Gadiel were poorly suited for each other; Will had always thought that—that opinion had nothing to do with what had happened tonight. Scott and Gadiel were better off without each other.
“Yeah, whatever,” Scott grumbled. “But I’m still pissed at you. Now I’ll never see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock.”
“Don’t be gross,” Will said tersely, determinedly not thinking about how Gadiel had looked with his lips wrapped around his cock. He’d been trying to get the image out of his mind for the past half an hour. Fuck, part of him still couldn’t believe it had happened. He couldn’t believe he’d allowed Gadiel to goad him into it. There were other ways he could have handled the situation. Much better, and certainly more professional ways.
In the years he’d been a bodyguard, Will had never fucked a client, and not for lack of opportunity. He’d bodyguarded some stunningly beautiful professional models— female models—and he’d never even considered crossing the line, no matter how attractive and seductive they had been. He didn’t do the thinking with his cock.
But that fucking boy did something to his higher brain functions, making him act in a way that was completely out of character for him: recklessly and irresponsibly. What he had done tonight was beyond irresponsible. And he couldn’t even blame Gadiel for that. He could blame only himself. He was the adult here. Gadiel might be legally an adult, but he was still a teenager. A vulnerable, lonely teenager under his protection.
Will grimaced, shame twisting his stomach into a tight knot.
All right. What was done was done. One mistake could still be written off. As long as he didn’t repeat it and kept his relationship with Gadiel strictly professional from now on, it would be fine. Well, not fine. But something.
“So should I buy tickets for the next flight home?”
“What?”
“I mean, we’re going home, right?”When Will didn’t immediately reply, Scott said slowly, “You do remember that you took that job only as a favor to me, right? You wanted to go back to the US. We can return home now. There’s nothing holding me here, thanks to you.”
The subject shouldn’t have surprised him. Gadiel had brought it up, too.
“I can’t leave like that.”
“Why the hell not?”
Will searched for an answer that was more rational than I promised him .
It didn’t matter that he’d told Gadiel that he would stay for a while. That had been before the blowjob. It had changed everything. The truth was, the longer he stayed, the murkier his relationship with Gadiel might become. It would be better to leave before the kid could develop... feelings that weren’t as easy to dismiss as a teenage crush. Will didn’t want to hurt him. The boy had been hurt enough already.
And the truth was, after what happened this evening, Will didn’t trust himself. He’d already demonstrated that Gadiel had a worrying effect on his ability to think and act rationally. Leaving was safer. Smarter.
And yet, Will heard himself say, “I can’t leave like that.”
For fuck’s sake. What was wrong with him?
“Why not?” Scott sounded baffled.
“It might be a foreign concept for you, but people who work for a living care about their professional reputations.” He felt like the worst sort of hypocrite as soon as he’d said that. People who cared about their professional reputations didn’t fuck their clients.
Will pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can’t leave without handing in a two-week notice, Scott. I’m his bodyguard. He was nearly kidnapped tonight.” There was also the fact that they had been possibly followed home by two men—different men from the ones who had attempted to kidnap Gadiel. Will hadn’t told Gadiel about it because he didn’t want to needlessly worry him after the kidnapping attempt. The kid had been shaken enough already, and it could have been nothing. The men hadn’t been very obvious—they could have been innocent passers-by who had just happened to be going the same way too. But they might not have been. Will couldn’t leave him unprotected. That was why he couldn’t leave yet. Perfectly reasonable.
His cousin sighed. “Fine. I’m buying tickets for us now though. For a flight back in exactly two weeks.”
When he hung up, Will stared at the ceiling unseeingly, trying to ignore the knot of unease in stomach.
Two weeks.
Look at me , Gadiel’s soft voice sounded in his ears.
Will shuddered, his hand clenching into a fist when his spent cock twitched.
He needed to put what had happened out of his mind. It had been just a one-off. Of course it was. He was straight. He loved women, not men, no matter how pretty they were. He loved women’s pussies, their pliant bodies and soft curves.
Wrapping his hand around his cock, Will stroked it slowly, imagining a pretty woman under him. A blonde—he’d always liked blondes. But the golden locks kept shifting into dark ones, so he gave up. A brunette it was. Her tits would bounce enticingly as he thrust into her, her blue eyes glazed with lust.
Look at me, she would say, sharp fingernails digging into Will’s buttocks as he fucked her hard.
So Will did. He stared at that beautiful face, into those needy blue eyes, her full, bouncing tits and bouncing cock—
He came into his hand, cursing under his breath.
***
He had intended to tell Gadiel that he was leaving first thing in the morning.
But he’d fallen asleep close to dawn, after tossing and turning in bed for hours, and for the first time in his adult life, Willoverslept. By the time he woke up it was nearly ten, and Gadiel was gone already.
There was a message from him.
You were sleeping so deeply I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. Don’t worry, I’m going straight to Zain’s place and he has a lot of bodyguards. I’ll be perfectly safe!
The message had been sent nearly two hours ago.
Swearing, Will strode to the bathroom. He finished his morning routine in record time, but it did nothing to quell his anxiety. He should have told Gadiel about the two men possibly following them home last night.
And now Gadiel wasn’t picking up his phone.
Buttoning up his shirt quickly, Will called Zain. He wasn’t picking up, either. That didn’t help his anxiety at all. His lack of composure surprised him. He usually didn’t have any trouble keeping a cool head at work. This wasn’t fucking normal.
Putting his gun into his holster, he strode toward the elevator—when it suddenly opened to reveal Gadiel.
Will came to an abrupt halt, his stomach dropping as he noticed the red-rimmed eyes and wet eyelashes. He had been crying. “Gadiel?”
Gadiel looked at him with wide, lost eyes on his terribly blank face before his expression suddenly crumpled. In the next moment, he was colliding into Will’s chest and burying his face against his neck.
“What is it?” Will said urgently, running his hands over Gadiel’s body, checking for any injuries. “What’s wrong, baby?” But there was nothing. He didn’t seem harmed in any way. At least not physically.
“He lied,” Gadiel said, his voice very small.
“Who?”
“Zain,” Gadiel whispered against his neck. “He’s been lying to me. I thought—for years, I thought I was alone in this—I felt so alone and wrong—but I just walked in on my brother in bed with a guy.”
Will winced.
“He never said anything,” Gadiel said, his voice somewhere between a furious hiss and a shaky whisper. “All those times I tried to talk to him about my struggles, he never said anything! If I knew he was like me—if—” His voice cracked and broke.
Christ.
Will wrapped his arms around him. “I agree that it isn’t a good look, but—”
“He lied to me, Will. I thought I had at least Zain—I thought there was at least someone in my family I could trust, but—” Gadiel choked on a sob, burying his face harder against Will’s chest, as if trying to crawl inside it. It was heartbreaking. Will hugged him tighter.
The elevator door opened again, and Zain stepped into the penthouse.He stopped, staring at them with his dark, piercing eyes.
Will went still, suddenly aware of how strange they must have looked to him. It wasn’t every day one found one’s younger sibling in his bodyguard’s arms.
But he refused to drop his arms quickly. On this occasion, he had nothing to feel guilty about.
“Gadiel,” Will said, meeting Zain’s gaze over the top of Gadiel’s head. “Your brother is here.”
Gadiel tensed up. “Tell him to go away,” he said into Will’s chest. “I don’t want to talk to him.”
“Stop with the hysterics and listen to me, Gadiel.” Zain glanced at Will. “Leave us.”
Will didn’t move. He didn’t care for the man’s bossy tone. This man was clearly so used to instant obedience that he didn’t even bother being polite.
“Don’t go,” Gadiel said, grabbing Will’s shirt. “Please. I don’t want to talk to him.”
Will murmured into his ear, “I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. But I think you should talk to him, love.”
Gadiel shivered, squirming closer to him, and Will realized belatedly that it was a reaction to the endearment—the endearment he hadn’t meant to use. Fuck.
Looking up, he saw that Zain was studying them with narrowed eyes.
“Need I remind you that I’m the one paying your salary?” Zain said, his voice deceptively mild.
Will held his gaze steadily. “You’re paying me to keep Gadiel safe. He doesn’t seem to feel safe alone with you.”
Zain’s lips thinned. “I would never hurt him.”
“You already did,” Gadiel said, turning around and glaring at his brother. “You hurt me every time you stayed silent and pretended to be a straight man when I needed someone who would understand me!”
“I am a straight man.”
Gadiel laughed sharply. “Are you for real? I found you in bed with the sex slave you allegedly bought for me!”
Will frowned. What?
Glancing at him, Zain said something sharply in Arabic.
“No, I will speak English! Because I have nothing to hide! I’m not a lying hypocrite like you!” Gadiel scoffed. “Straight! Ha!”
Zain’s expression became pinched. “I’m not lying. I don’t consider myself gay. Aiden is the exception.”
“Right,” Gadiel said, snorting. “Why would he be the exception?”
Zain’s expression became even more sour and uncomfortable. He said nothing, his jaw locked tight.
Gadiel looked at him for a moment before laughing. “Wait a minute... Did my heartless, unfeeling brother actually catch feelings?”
“You’re hilarious,” Zain ground out. “That’s enough, Gadiel. I’m done tolerating—” His phone went off. Zain answered it with an air of impatience, but whatever the caller said made him freeze—and then go pale. He said something in Arabic and all but ran out of the penthouse, barking something over his shoulder.
“What did he say?” Will said. “What happened?”
Gadiel met his gaze, his eyes full of confusion and concern. “I’m not sure. He mentioned something about an attack and shooting. Zain told me not to go outside.” He sighed, his shoulders slumping. “This day is getting better and better.”
“Shooting?” Will said, frowning. He checked his gun and made sure it was loaded before holstering it again.
When Gadiel didn’t say anything, he looked up and found Gadiel watching his hands.
“I’m,” Gadiel said, his face slightly flushed. “I didn’t know you had a gun.”
“Of course I do. I’m a bodyguard.” Will walked to the security panel by the elevator and changed the settings, blocking access to the penthouse even if they had a key card. If Zain was compromised… “You shouldn’t have left without me.”
“I thought... I thought I should get used to it. You won’t stay forever. And it doesn’t matter now, does it... You couldn’t have protected me from my brother’s hypocrisy.”
When Will turned around, he found Gadiel chewing on his lip, the corners of his eyes tight and his fingers twitching restlessly. The defeated look on his face was unmistakable. He seemed so small, like he was holding himself up with sheer force of will.
Will took Gadiel’s hand and gently guided him toward the armchair. “Come on, sit down,” he said.
Gadiel sat down but didn’t let go of his hand. His slim, elegant fingers stroked Will’s anxiously. Will looked down at their hands, his stomach clenching at the sight of Gadiel’s smaller hand clutching his like a lifeline. He knew he shouldn’t allow this, not after what had happened last night.
But he couldn’t bring himself to deny him such a small comfort. The poor boy looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Will put his other hand under Gadiel’s chin and tipped his face up. “Are you okay?”
Gadiel gave him a crooked smile. “I’m fine. I just...”He blinked a few times and laughed a little. “All right, I’m not really fine. In the past twenty-four hours, I got dumped by Scott, got mugged and nearly kidnapped, walked in on my supposedly straightbrother in bed with another man. Oh, and I blew my straight bodyguard, and now I have no idea where we stand with each other. And I’m getting married in two months. And now there’s shooting, apparently?” He laughed, the sound wet and small. “I feel so... I don’t know. Like there’s so much going on, but I feel powerless and stupid, and I just want... I just...” He exhaled shakily, dropping his gaze to their joined hands.
“Gadiel—”
“Have you ever felt like your life has no purpose?” Gadiel whispered, barely audibly. “Like you’re a meaningless side character without any agency in someone else’s life, and no one will even notice or care if you die.”
Jesus.
Will stared at his bowed head. “I’d care,” he said roughly.
Gadiel chuckled, the sound sharp and humorless. “You wouldn’t even be here to care. You’ll forget all about me when you return home. Admit it, you’re going home soon.”
Will said nothing.
Gadiel gave a tight nod, taking his silence for the confirmation it was. He forced a tremulous smile that tugged at Will’s heartstrings like nothing had ever done.
“It’s okay,” Gadiel said softly, even though his blue eyes filled with tears.
Fuck, he couldn’t take it anymore—Will pulled him close.
Gadiel was stiff against him for a moment before a small whine left his throat and he buried his face against Will’s stomach. “I hate my life,” he whispered, his voice wavering. “I sometimes hate myself. There has to be something wrong with me—no one is so unloved for no reason, right?”
Will hugged him tighter, his heart clenching when he felt his shirt become wet with tears.
“Don’t say that, love,” he said roughly.
A whine left Gadiel’s lips, something base and needy. He pushed Will’s shirt up and pressed his face against Will’s bare stomach, as if trying to burrow into it. “Say it again.”
Will’s abdominal muscles contracted. “Gadiel,” he said in warning, willing his body not to react as the boy rubbed his nose and lips against his happy trail.
“I need,” Gadiel said dazedly, nipping and mouthing his skin. “Need you to say it again. Need you.” His kisses moved downward, toward his crotch. “It’s like there’s this black hole inside of me, starving always. Need you to fill it up—fill me up.”
And just like that, Will was hard.
Jesus fucking Christ. What was wrong with him? The boy was emotionally vulnerable right now. Last thing he needed was more ill-advised sex that would only fuck him up more.
Disgusted with himself, Will grabbed Gadiel’s hair, pulling him away from his crotch. “No,” he said, his tone not unkind but firm. “What happened yesterday was a mistake. It can’t happen again, Gadiel.”
“But I need,” Gadiel mumbled, turning his face and nuzzling Will’s wrist, rubbing his cheek against it desperately. “Call me love again. Lie to me, I don’t care.”
God.
Letting go of Gadiel’s hair, Will stepped back, his stomach churning with self-loathing.
It took him a moment to register that something had clattered to the floor when he released Gadiel’s hair.
He looked down—and froze.
It was a tiny wireless bug.
Will stared at it for a moment before crushing it with his shoe.
“What—?” Gadiel said, blinking at it in confusion, and got to his feet.
Will picked up the broken bug and examined it. “A bug. It must have been attached to your collar. Someone’s been listening to us.”
Gadiel paled. Will could relate. The mere thought that some assholes had come close enough to Gadiel to attach a bug to his clothes made him sick. Sick and furious, mostly with himself.
“Turn around,” Will said gently. “I doubt there are other bugs, but I need to make sure.”
Gadiel did as he was told, his shoulders drawn. “How long?”
“Likely since the morning,” Will said, examining his thobe carefully before threading his fingers through Gadiel’s hair. “You’re good. There aren’t other devices.”
Gadiel’s shoulders didn’t relax. He remained tense, his body trembling faintly.
Will stared at the pale, vulnerable curve of his neck, his hand curling into a fist.Such a gross violation of privacy on top of everything that had happened... it would mess with anyone’s head.He should have been with Gadiel. He should have protected him better. His fault. It was his fault.
“Come on,” Will said, steering him to the couch and making him sit down. This time he sat down next to him. “Take a deep breath—” He grunted in surprise when Gadiel suddenly flung himself into his lap and buried his face against Will’s throat, teeth sinking into his skin. “Gadiel—”
“Please,” Gadiel mumbled, sucking hard. “I need it. Just this. Please.”
And of course, as guilt-ridden as he was, Will couldn’t say no. It was his fault that he hadn’t protected Gadiel better. He couldn’t deny him anything now.
He sat rigidly while Gadiel sucked and nibbled on his neck, like a teething baby in need of comfort.
After a while, when Gadiel didn’t attempt to do anything else, Will relaxed and brought his hands up to rest on Gadiel’s back. Gadiel made a pleased little noise, squirming closer to Will’s chest. Will took the hint and hugged him firmly.
“Tighter,” Gadiel asked breathlessly, sucking on Will’s neck. “Please. Hold me tighter.”
Will obliged, and Gadiel whimpered, his hips jerking, grinding. “Tighter.”
“If I hold you any tighter, I’ll bruise you, love.”
“Good,” Gadiel said viciously, sucking harder on Will’s neck. “Tighter.”
Will tightened his arms, and a moan left Gadiel’s lips, loud and shameless, his hips grinding harder, his body becoming more tense. His fingers clutched Will’s shoulders, whines leaving his throat. “Will...”
“You’re okay, you’re safe, I’ve got you.” Will pressed his hand against Gadiel’s lower back, hard. Gadiel moaned into his neck, shuddering,and Will felt wetness against his stomach.
Fuck. Gadiel had come. Just from that.
Will gritted his teeth, trying to ignore his own cock, which was half-hard in his pants, trapped under Gadiel’s weight. What was wrong with him, seriously? There should have been nothing arousing about this messed-up situation. Gadiel had the excuse of being an upset and stressed teenager who needed relief, needed to feel good. What was his excuse?
“I’m sorry,” Gadiel mumbled into his chest, sounding painfully embarrassed. It shouldn’t have been so endearing.
“Hush, you have nothing to apologize for,” Will said, stroking Gadiel’s back and dropping a kiss on the top of his head. He froze, surprised by his own actions. He’d never been a physically affectionate person, not even with his girlfriends.
But before he could pull away, Gadiel practically melted into him, his body going boneless againsthis chest, his pink lips parted as he breathed quietly, looking mellow and soft and practically pleasure-drunk. Just from being held and comforted and given a little affection.
Something about it made Will feel all keyed up—but at the same time he’d never felt more comfortable than at this moment, with this strange boy in his arms. He couldn’t place what this was, what exactly he was feeling. It was a fucked-up combination of protectiveness, discomfort, bizarre satisfaction, and sharp arousal. The latter was completely inappropriate—not to mention messed up. There should not be a part of him that looked at this young, troubled guy in his arms and felt satisfaction from having him lean into his touch so trustingly, so needily. There should not be a part of him that wanted to comfort him with his body, that wanted to push the boy under him and fuck him into feeling better. It was more than a little fucked up.
But no matter how fucked up it was, Will had never been one to lie to himself. Or at least, he tried not to. And the truth was, this situation—Gadiel seeking comfort and affection from him—had him all twisted up and oddly transfixed. Fascinated.
What the hell, seriously.
“I can hear you think and freak out,” Gadiel murmured. “Is this about yesterday?”
“No,” Will said, truthfully enough. This was worse than the sex. “I’m secure enough in my sexuality not to freak out after one ill-advised blowjob.”
“Ouch.” Gadiel took Will’s hand, playing with his fingers absentmindedly. “Was it that bad for you?”
Will stared at the top of his head. Gadiel’s face was still buried against his chest.
“I’m straight, kid,” he said, his voice firm. He had to make it clear that what had happened was a mistake. “And I’m your bodyguard. What happened was—highly unprofessional. You’re my charge, under my protection. I should never have touched you.”
“But you’re hard now,” Gadiel said, lifting his eyes to him.
Their rich, vivid color was so entrancing that it took Will a moment to reply. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, which was true. “It’s just a physical reaction to someone else’s pleasure.” That was a lie, but Will needed Gadiel to believe it. Anything else would be cruel. He refused to be another person playing with the kid’s feelings and then leaving him.
Gadiel bit his bottom lip and gave a tight nod. “Okay,” he said quietly, pulling away and slipping off Will’s lap.
Will’s hands twitched. He pursed his lips, disconcerted by how empty his lap felt.
At that moment, his phone went off, and Will pulled it out of his pocket.
It was Gadiel’s brother.
“My property has been attacked,” he said.
“What?” Will said, sitting up straighter, fully alert now.
“My private island was attacked after Gadiel and I left it,” Zain said. His voice sounded strange even over the phone.“All of my staff is dead, and—and someone in my house was kidnapped.”
“Who?” Will said.
“That’s irrelevant,” Zain bit off. “You have to take Gadiel away. I’ve just received a message from the mob that if I don’t do as they say, they’ll kill my brother.”
Will’s stomach twisted into a knot. He shifted his gaze to Gadiel, who was blinking at him curiously. He looked soft, vulnerable, and so very young. And someone was threatening to kill him. Probably the very same people who had put a bug on him.
“What do they want from you?” Will said.
“That’s none of your business,” Zain said. “I’m not yet sure if I’ll comply with their threats, butGadiel is leverage they can use, so I want you to take him away, somewhere they can’t find him and use him against me.”
“Take him where?”
“Preferably far from here. I’ve already transferred a substantial sum to your account. Use it. Don’t let Gadiel use his credit cards. Keep a low profile until I contact you.”
“How long do you expect us to lie low?”
“I don’t know yet,” Zain said, sounding distracted. “Probably a few weeks at least, until I know more. Keep him safe.”
“I will,” Will said, already thinking of where he could take Gadiel.
“Oh, and Summers?” Zain said. “When I have time, we’re going to have a talk about your conduct. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that the kid was practically clinging to you earlier.”
Will grimaced.
“He was just upset,” he said stiffly.
“I hope that’s all it is,” Zain said before hanging up.
Will pinched the bridge of his nose, gathering his thoughts.
“Will? What did Zain say?”
He got to his feet. “He said your life is in danger. Go pack. We’re leaving.”
“Where?” Gadiel said after a moment.
Will met his gaze.“New York.”