Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
CASEY
“Daddy, I’m not sure that the hot chocolate is enough to keep me warm.”
Maddie had insisted on posting the pictures immediately and then said goodbye, and seconds later, Travis’s notifications started going off like crazy.
He glanced at his phone, saw the numbers climbing exponentially, and promptly turned off his phone and tucked it into his pocket.
We stopped to get hot chocolate and then headed down to Glass Beach.
I was absolutely freezing, but I wasn’t going to complain because it was gorgeous.
Up on the shore, there was a mixture of rocks, broken seashells, sand dollars, and itty-bitty pieces of sea glass tossed in the middle like little treasures, waiting to be found.
Travis found a shopping bag stuffed somewhere in his SUV and obligingly walked behind me as I stopped to dig through the sand with a stake, looking for treasures.
“I think you’re right, but maybe if we’re not in the water, it won’t be too bad. That wind is something else though.”
“When I get home tonight, I think I’m going to sleep in the shower with the hot water on,” I added with a laugh. “A bath would be better, but it's hard to stretch out in it.”
“But my house has one big enough, and I’d very much like a sleepover with you tonight.”
As he spoke the words, Daddy grabbed my hand and dragged me closer so he could press a kiss against my lips.
His body was like a radiator. I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled closer.
He responded by hugging me tight. Suddenly, I wasn’t nearly as cold as I was before the heat radiated off him and seeped into my bones.
“Daddy, are they really doing scholarships at the rink?” I meant to ask him earlier, but I got distracted by the idea of going to Glass Beach.
“Well, maybe not technically announced, but we’ve talked about it and intend to do it, so maybe I just jumped the gun and put Maddie at the front of the line for it.”
“It was really sweet of you to take care of it for her without making her mom feel bad about it.”
“Yeah, I got my fair share of scholarships growing up, so it seems only fair.”
“I thought your dad owned his own business?”
“He does, but it’s never a sleek, fancy bar or even close to a club. It’s a neighborhood bar where they make enough to survive, but nobody’s getting rich off it.”
“Fair enough, but I still think it was sweet of you.”
“I’m glad you approve because I definitely want my new boyfriend to be happy with me.”
“Is that what you want or just what you told Maddie so she wouldn’t pester you about it?” I looked out on the gray waves with tiny white caps. My muscles felt twitchy and tingly.
It made no sense as to why his answer mattered so much.
Daddy had certainly always been really clear that he was interested in me.
But claiming me in a club and claiming me on the street were worlds away from each other.
Holding my hand on the street, where there was absolutely no guarantee of being recognized, and posting a picture of me on his social network with a clear understanding that we were together was an apples-and-oranges difference.
He’d done it without even thinking about it, and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
Ready or not, it was a hard launch.
Thinking about whatever was happening on his powered-down phone also scared me, so it was easier to go back to talking about Maddie and hockey and picking up seashells on a freezing beach in the middle of winter.
“Bub, maybe next time we go looking for stuff on the beach, it could be summer. What do you think?”
“I gotta say, Daddy, for someone who spent so much time on the ice, is from Canada, and lives in the Pacific Northwest, you sure don’t seem to like the cold.” I said it all sassy so he’d get the joke.
Now that the words were out of my mouth, there was no way I was admitting my fingers felt closer to shards of ice than anything useful. But the beach had been my idea, so I was gonna see it through, come hell or high water.
“I like the cold. I just like the cold when it’s not windy on top of it.”
“Is this one of those dry heat analogies? My mom’s from Arizona, and she swears that in the shade one hundred and five isn’t really that hot.”
“Do you believe her?”
“No, I think she’s full of shit, but she’s my mom, so I’m not gonna tell her that.”
Travis gave me the laugh I was hoping for and dumped his latest finds in the bag with mine. He looked at it, almost a quarter full now, and gave me a speculative look.
“What’re you gonna do with all this stuff?”
“If I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh.” I said it mostly to soothe my own nerves about admitting something I wasn’t sure anyone else actually knew.
“Scouts honor, cross my heart, hope to die.”
“Stick a needle in your eye?”
“Christ, I hope not, that sounds awful, but if that’s what it takes, then it’s a sacrifice I’ll make for you,” Daddy said solemnly, but he ruined it with a wide grin.
“No eye needles are required because oh my god that’s painful and weird and creepy and sounds like something from a horror movie.” My voice trailed off as I got distracted, imagining the gory nonsense.
“Earth to Casey, earth to Casey.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m gonna put it on my manifestation mantel.” I said it in a rush so I wouldn’t chicken out and keep it to myself. It’s silly, and I know it, but I started doing it back in high school, and I’ve added to it in every place I’ve lived. I travel light, but I always take my mantel pieces.
“Sorry, babe, I’m gonna need a little more than that to understand it.”
“Back in school, whenever I wanted something, I’d gather little pieces that represented the bigger thing.
If I needed to pass my math test, I’d put a sheet of my homework up there and a little trophy or a ceramic apple I swiped from my mom’s china cabinet or whatever. Anything that helped me manifest it.”
“So you want to manifest yourself going to the beach?”
“No, silly. I want to manifest my one-day pie-in-the-sky plan.” Now that I’d said it, the words were out there.
The next question was obvious, and it felt awkward after the talk we’d had earlier about his plans for the bar. I should’ve kept my mouth shut and made up a story, except I hated lying, and I didn’t want to lie to Daddy.
“So what does that look like?”
“A food truck.”
“I hate to admit it, Daddy, but I think beachcombing is a summer activity,” I said from the safety of my heated seat in Travis’s car.
My fingers and toes might never thaw again.
The heat was blasting, and I was wrapped in my coat and Daddy’s coat and gloves, yet my arms and legs still felt like blocks of ice.
Daddy didn’t argue, but his knowing smirk said everything.
When I’d suggested the beach in the first place, he’d warned me it would be chilly.
He’d also said he was up for it if I was.
I wasn’t ready to admit he’d been right because… because I just wasn’t.
“I’m not gonna disagree with you,” he said, “but the glass was pretty cool to find. I hadn’t realized there’d be so much. All that Googling on the way up paid off, so thank you for that. I was just gonna go shopping, but this was a much better way to spend the afternoon.”
Daddy’s hand found mine, our fingers fitting together as his much-larger hand wrapped around mine.
His free hand rested on my thigh, and he drove with the casual ease of someone who was supremely confident.
Suddenly, the vibe in the car felt domestic and homey, and it made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I could feel myself standing on the edge of everything I said I wanted—my own Daddy, stability, a place to belong—yet here I was wanting to peel off emotional layers so none of it could reach me.
Everything felt too perfect, too tidy, too fairytale.
What happened when Travis got bored? What happened when he powered his phone back on and the cascade of messages hit?
It didn’t escape my notice that even after we got in the car, he still didn’t turn his phone back on.
We both knew what was waiting, and I suspected he knew that if I heard the full avalanche, I’d be out of the car in a heartbeat.
I’d told Maddie’s mom I was ready for it, but facing the reality of it scared the shit out of me.
I couldn’t help wanting to go back in time and congratulate past-me for deciding social media was a giant time-suck.
There was nothing for the vultures to dig through because I didn’t keep anything online.
Thank fucking god. But it didn’t stop the spike of panic when my own phone buzzed under my thigh, where I’d stashed it after we got in.
Bryce
How’s it going?
Casey
It’s all good. What’s up?
I put you in for a job up here because you’ve been in one spot way too long.
You think you know me?
Fuck yeah, I know you.
And you’ve been in one spot too damn long. I know you’re itching to move.
I plead the fifth.
It’s okay. You don’t have to admit I’m right.
What’s the job?
Breakfast cook at the lodge I’m at now. You’d be cooking to order in the dining room. Good pay. Great tips. Afternoons off to snowboard. Housing included.
When do you need an answer?
Let me know by Christmas.
I told them you’d be down for it, but you needed a couple of weeks to wrap up loose ends so they wouldn’t offer it to anyone else.
Yeah, I actually do have some loose ends, but I’ll definitely let you know by then.
“Everything all right?” Daddy glanced at me, then back at the road.
The stop-and-go traffic needed his attention, but his hand stayed right where it was on my thigh. I shoved my phone back under my leg and stared down as his fingers traced slow patterns on my jeans. His touch was somehow calming and grating at the same time.