Chapter 14 #2
The job was mine if I wanted it, and Bryce wasn’t wrong. I’d stayed here longer than I’d stayed anywhere in years. Making friends wasn’t a surprise—I made friends everywhere—but the thought of leaving these boys bothered me in a way I didn’t usually feel.
Normally, keeping in touch long-distance was easy enough.
Texts. Photos. The occasional email. I never missed people when I left.
There were always new ones to meet wherever I landed next.
But walking away from the boys, their group chat, their stupid jokes, their day-to-day…
it was gonna suck. I already knew it would hit harder than any move before it.
“Yeah, it’s all good,” I said. “My buddy was just checking in on me.”
“The one whose apartment you’re leasing?” Daddy asked.
“Nah. Bryce is up in Alaska. The buddy I’m leasing from won’t be back until spring.”
Daddy didn’t push any further, and we lapsed into compatible silence, but the words I didn’t want to say made their way into my throat and out of my mouth. “He was telling me about a job in Alaska.”
Daddy didn’t say anything immediately, but I saw the clench of his jaw and his white knuckles on the steering wheel. I saw the way he forced his fingers to relax, one by one.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, there’s a spot that opened up in the restaurant at the resort he works at.”
Daddy’s fingers flexed against my thigh, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. “I hear it’s pretty expensive to live up there.”
“The job comes with housing and tips, and it’s the morning shift, so snowboarding in the afternoon.”
‘Wow,” Daddy croaked, then cleared his throat, “sounds amazing.”
The silence that followed wasn’t compatible or comfortable. Instead, it was awkward and weird as fuck. Ugh. We stayed quiet and pretended to hum along with the Christmas music playing until we approached the city limits.
“Have you finally thawed?” Daddy asked with a light squeeze of my thigh.
“Barely. Maybe?”
“How about you come home with me for a turn in the bathtub?”
“You sure you want that?”
“Absolutely positive.”
Casey
Hey, how’s life for my favorite busted bathroom hookup?
Nico
It was a bad moment for me.
It was cute. Spirally Nico is freaking adorable.
Yeah, nothing says “I’m a catch” like crying in the bathroom about some other guy to the guy I want to hook up with. Good times.
It all worked out.
No complaints from me.
Not that I mind this little trip in the wayback machine, but is there a reason we’re revisiting it?
I was thinking about it and thought you’d like to know.
I see.
You sure there’s not something else you wanted to talk about?
Something personal?
No, just wanted to say hi.
In that case— Hi.
There was one thing, since you brought it up.
And here it is.
Lay it on me.
Wait. Why isn’t this in the group chat?
They’re too happy.
And settled.
For the record, I’m also happy and settled.
You don’t count.
Ouch. Hurtful.
What’s really going on?
I got a job offer today. Up in Alaska. I’d start after the new year, but I have until Christmas to confirm.
Oh. Wow. Awesome.
Not wow. Not awesome. I’ve been here over a year, so…it’s time to move on. It’s what I do.
Does it have to be what you do?
I think? Yes? Maybe? I don’t know.
If you don’t know, maybe it’s not.
I need you to be less insightful.
Why’d you message me, really?
Because I knew you’d get it.
Hmmm.
You’re being cryptic again.
Okay, we’re done here.
Happy to help.
After an amazing day, ending it by hiding in the bathroom texting Nico because my life was unfolding exactly the way I wanted and I was scared shitless as a result felt anticlimactic. Any other time, I’d tell myself to snap out of it, but this was the exception.
Because for the first time ever, I wasn’t sure I was ready to go, and I was always ready to go. Travis was exactly who and what I said I’d been looking for, so why was I about to pitch it out the window for a good time in Alaska that wouldn’t bring me one inch closer to what I claimed I wanted?
These and other big thoughts would be handled…at some point in the future that was not right now.
“Bub, you okay?” Daddy asked after a soft knock on the door.
“Yeah. It’s all good. Give me just a sec, and I’ll be out.”
“Take your time. I’m gonna put a movie on… Klaus okay?”
“Ooh, sweet. Five minutes, and I’ll be fine.”
What I wanted to say was absolutely not that movie.
Tonight, when I was skittish as a fox, was not the time to watch a story about a guy who’d rather run away than build anything real.
A guy terrified of roots and family who only fixed himself when he finally stayed still long enough to care.
There was no way Daddy meant anything by it, but the timing felt cosmic and cruel.
The cold water I splashed on my face was supposed to fix everything.
That’s what movies promised. One dramatic splash, one deep inhale, and boom—clarity.
Except all it did was leave me dripping like a confused rat and no closer to understanding whether staying or running was the bigger mistake.
Ten out of ten, betrayed by the movies. Tragic.
I still wanted him, wanted this, and the what-ifs still had me by the throat.
But my only backup plan involved moving to the Yukon under a fake name and picking neither option.
Since I couldn’t orchestrate that without more logistics than I had bandwidth for tonight, I was gonna cuddle up on the couch with the exact Daddy who’d short-circuited my brain and hope I made it through the night without confessing something ridiculous.