Chapter 43
“Open it,” Tyler repeats, and slowly I turn the pages until I get to the title page where he tore that note from.
My eyes stay fixated there, because drawn right above where he ripped a corner to write me a note all those years ago, are fourteen tally marks. Above them, in handwriting I’d know anywhere, are the words Maybe the universe will find a way for me to keep you.
The very words I wished aloud, tangled together under a fraternity blanket.
Emotions pummel me, crashing around me in waves so quickly I can’t even pick one to name. My mind races, full of questions, but my throat tightens, voice caught behind the lump swelling at its base.
Finally, after staring at the page for what feels like an eternity, I find my voice, gaze lifting to his. “What does this mean?”
Tyler’s face, so devastatingly handsome, all strong lines and soft edges, goes tender.
“Jo, sweetheart, what do you think this means?”
“I-I don’t know.” I stammer, though the truth is staring me in the face.
“Is it you don’t know, or you’re afraid to say it aloud?” he asks gently. “Afraid to let your heart accept what your eyes are seeing?”
My nose starts to sting, a glimmer of tears blurring my vision. “Maybe that.”
Tyler snakes a hand around my shoulders, pulling me to him and presses his lips to my forehead. Then, with his cheek resting against the top of my head he speaks again.
“You still don’t get it, do you? Do you see these?
” He points to each tally mark one by one and my eyes track the path his fingers mark across the page.
“Each and every mark on this page represents a year I went without you in my life. When I left the next day, as ludicrous as it would sound to others, as improbable a situation it was, I knew in my bones I was leaving one half of my heart behind. You left an indelible mark on my soul, Josephine Thomas. I was never without a feeling of loss. This means that for fourteen years I’ve thought of you. ”
I break away, looking at him in confusion. “You told me you’ve had relationships. You even proposed once.”
“I also told you none of them worked out. Do you want to take a guess as to why that was?”
“Why?” I whisper, my voice trembling.
He watches me for a long minute, a soft smile on his face.
“Because none were you. None made me laugh like you. Not a single one of them had quicksilver eyes I can never seem to look away from. Before I wrote the note, I watched you sleep for a minute, already planning a future with you. Believe me when I say in one single night, you ruined me for anyone else. It’s always been you, Jo. ”
A single tear slips out, and I let it fall. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” I say, laughing.
Tyler chuckles and shakes his head. “Just you, love. I love you so very much, Jo. So much.”
My mouth descends on his and he kisses me slowly, like he has all the time in the world. And he does, because he’s not going anywhere. Tyler is not going anywhere. My heart leaps inside my chest at the thought.
We lose track of time, the world narrowing to Tyler and me, savoring this moment together.
Our lips meet and part, his tongue exploring my mouth, slow and languid.
One of Tyler’s large hands cradles the back of my head, his fingers wrapping in my curls as I inch back to look into his eyes.
A quiet joy blooms in my heart, leaving me dizzy with it all.
He captures my mouth again with his, and I smile against his lips, giddy knowing that I get to spend a lifetime, and then some, being kissed like this.
It feels like we’ve been kissing for at least a few lifetimes at this point, maybe longer, but I have to get home.
“Come back to my house. I need to show you something.”
The last few days I’ve gone back and forth on how to show Tyler the family portrait I painted, and today feels like the right time. He’s handed over so much of his heart. Now he deserves to see a glimpse into mine. How, even when I was pushing, I still clung to him with both hands.
We drive separately to my house, and each time we’re at a stop sign, I wave at him from my rearview mirror and blow him a kiss.
I’m being absolutely ridiculous and I don’t even care.
Tyler loves me and he’s not going anywhere.
And what’s even better? I believe it. That right there is the best part of all of this.
He parks beside me in the driveway, and when he gets to me, we lace our fingers together and walk into my house just like that. Abby’s on the couch and she turns when we enter, looking pleased as punch when her eyes land on our locked hands.
Inside, we kick off our shoes and out of nowhere I'm overcome with frisson, emotion so powerful like champagne, bubbling up. My breaths come quick and a shiver races down my spine. Suddenly I know why I’ve focused so much on his shoes with ours.
“Your shoes…” I mumble, letting my words trail off.
Tyler looks from me to our shoes, puzzled.
“All this time, when I’ve seen your shoes here, I’ve had some unnamable feeling. It was the shoes.”
“Jo, I still don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Looking up at him, not caring if Abby can hear us or not, my words pour out, from my heart to his ears.
“There’s four pairs now. And they’re all a little scuffed, a little lived in. Some are a little worse for wear. But they’re lined up side by side.”
Dawning realization crosses Tyler’s face, and I forge on.
“All I want is for someone to hold space for my family, not with grand gestures or anything big. But joining in with our mess, right here at the threshold. Smack dab in the middle of our beautiful, messy life. Right here with us.”
Abby sits watching the whole thing, and filled with emotion and punch drunk in love, I yell for Jay to join us in the living room.
“Jaybird, I need you!”
Seconds later he comes bounding into the room, and I pull everyone in for a group hug. Jay still stinks, and he tries to wrangle free, but I hold tight to my little family, knowing the four of us will be alright.
When I finally let go, I lead Tyler to my art room, where the painting still sits right where I left it. The day after I painted it, I did turn it backward in case the kids got nosy and poked around. Before I turn it for him to see, I explain how it came to be.
“Even when I was pushing you away, I was still consumed by you. One night I sat here, not even aware of what I was painting. I let my hands lead the way like they knew what my heart wanted. When I finished, I stepped back to take a look, and seeing this gutted me, Tyler. Because deep down I knew I was wrong. You belonged right here with us.”
I turn the painting and take a step back, standing beside Tyler while he surveys my work. He’s quiet for so long, I think he might hate it, but then I hear a sound I haven’t yet heard from him. He’s crying. I look up to see tears falling and I wrap my arms around him, letting him cry into my hair.
“Thank you for this, Jo. I—” His voice breaks. “You don’t know what this means to me.”
We hold on tight to one another until Jay’s voice drifts from his room.
“Tyler, come here! I got a new skin for my character.”
Before Tyler joins him, he places the sweetest of kisses to my lips and whispers, “I love you.”
Some might find our daily routine boring, like Groundhog Day repeating itself, but I find the rhythm of it soothing. My life isn’t glamorous, but it’s real. And with Tyler here to bear witness to it, everything feels right.
After dinner, when it’s just Tyler and me in the kitchen and I’m standing with my back to him at the sink, I think back to our night together all those years ago and smile to myself. What a long arduous road it was finding our way back to each other.
“Tyler?”
“Hmm?” he hums.
“Never have I ever wanted to be someone’s wife more than yours.”
I turn to face him, and he’s wearing a look of awe. He studies me, at length.
“Jo?”
“Hmm?” I hum, mimicking his response.
“Never have I ever thought I’d see the day where I’d have my own family who I just bought your dream house for.”
Utterly gobsmacked by his words, the bowl I’m holding slips from my hand, and I stand there, blinking at him.
“What did you say?”
Tyler leaves the kitchen, leaving me frozen in place, returning seconds later holding his keys. He unhooks one, crosses the kitchen and presses it into my palm.
“This is the key to your dream house. The one you told me about. And it’s being thoroughly cleansed with sage as we speak. No spirits left.”
All I can do is gape at him, devoid of words. I’m sure my mouth is hanging open, but I can’t focus on anything but his words or the cold, solid key clutched in my hand. I try to speak, but fail miserably.
When I’m still silent Tyler’s thumb starts thrumming anxiously against his thigh.
“Jo, I’m gonna need you to say something. Was this too presumptuous of me? Did I do it again?”
That snaps me out of it. I fling both arms around his neck, clamoring to be close to him. Laughing, I pepper kisses on every inch of his face until Tyler laughs with me. He pushes a curl behind my ear, and cups my face with his warm palm.
“I love you, Jo. You’ll get tired of those words, I plan on saying them so much. I love you and our kids with everything in me.”
Turning my head, I kiss his open hand, full to bursting with love for this man. “Never. I could never tire of those words. Now let’s go see our house.”
I move from his embrace, but he tugs me back to him, grinning.
“Wait, what about the kids?”
I guess I got a little ahead of myself. “We’ll tell them it’s your house. You bought it. When the time is right we can explain everything.”
Tyler accepts this idea and I collect our kids to go see our future home.
We all pile into Tyler’s SUV and he drives a few blocks.
On the way, I explain to Abby and Jay that Tyler bought a new house and he wants us to see it.
The whole time I’m talking, Abby gives me a knowing look, and I avoid her stare, focusing on Jay instead. That child truly is like her father.
When we arrive, Tyler unlocks the door and both kids run inside, but I tug Tyler to me for a selfie to send to Penny, Cassie, and Lisa.
Holding the key up, I put my cheek against Tyler’s and snap the picture. I scroll to the group text with the four of us, and type out my message.
Surprise! Tyler loves me and our kids. Oh, and he bought us a house.
Lisa
Cassie
Thank God you got your head out of your ass. I love both of you and congrats. Girls night at your place. Can’t wait for the day I can call you my cousin.
Penny doesn’t respond right away. She and Austin left earlier today, flying out for an awards show in Las Vegas, so she’s probably resting at the hotel. Just as I’m sliding my phone back in my purse, it lights up with one more text.
Penny
Surprise!
And under that, she’s sent a picture of her and Austin, a Vegas wedding chapel behind them flashing brand new wedding bands.
I tilt my phone for Tyler to see. His face splits into a huge smile and he shakes his head.
“I’ll be damned. Didn’t have that on their itinerary.”