Chapter 11 #2
“Good.” He knew his short answer might be considered rude, but she needed to leave. Before he acted on his wayward wants.
Was this the problem? His level of attraction to her? Maybe he didn’t really care for her. Maybe it was lust disguised to be something more. Because Koa had never felt the pull of a woman like this. This imaginary tether that had wrapped him and wouldn’t let go.
The sound of chair legs scraping against the floor caused him to look up.
She couldn’t be doing this. She needed to leave. For both their sakes.
Koa’s gaze dropped to her lips, their softness like a siren’s call.
His grip on his fork tightened, his eyes closed for two long seconds.
“Which job were you at?” she asked when Koa opened his eyes.
He took in a deep breath, frustrated with himself. Mia was trying to be a good housemate. She didn’t know he was fighting for his life over here.
Why was he reacting like this?
“I was at the beach for most of the afternoon and evening,” Koa said, finally getting a small grip on himself.
Mia smiled and just like that his self-control wanted to fly out the window. A kiss, just a little kiss wouldn’t hurt anyone, yeah?
No. This wasn’t how he was doing things anymore. Especially not with his new housemate.
He was going to ask her questions and let her ask hers. Be friendly. He could be friendly.
“How was your day?” Koa asked, keeping the conversation as surface level as he could.
She shrugged one bare shoulder, drawing Koa’s full attention. What if he kissed the hollow…nope!
“It was fine. The kids, cute as they were, were on one today. I don’t know if there’s a full moon or something but they were wild.”
Full moon. Maybe that could explain Koa’s behavior?
“I’m guessing wild kids aren’t really what elementary teachers are hoping for,” Koa said, and he wanted to pat himself on the back he was so proud of how normal he’d just sounded.
Mia giggled. “Not at all.”
And now she was giggling?
He had a crush. That was it. It had to be it. This was just a pesky little crush.
Granted, he’d had crushes before, and they had never felt like this. But maybe it was Mia. Maybe having a crush on Mia meant feeling this way.
One thing he knew, there was no way he could ask her out tonight. Right now this wild attraction didn’t feel stable enough to build anything on. And if he wasn’t going to build something with Mia, he wasn’t going to ask her out. Not when they lived together.
Plus Tutu would kill him if he hurt Mia. He was pretty sure their gorgeous school teacher had already wormed her way into Tutu’s heart.
“Were you at the beach until just now?” Mia asked before her cheeks turned a perfect shade of pink.
Perfect shade of pink? Koa felt like he’d been slipped a love potion. What was in that soda he drank tonight at Preston’s?
He shook his head. “I went over to Preston’s for a bit.”
I was avoiding you, the words he’d never speak but the truth.
“Cool,” Mia said before her eyes fell on her empty glass. “I guess I’d better head back to bed. Morning will be here all too soon.”
Koa nodded. He should have been in bed too. Even though he’d technically already had takeout for dinner at Preston’s, coming home hours after eating it made him hungry for Tutu’s home cooking.
Mia lifted her glass, lingering for a little too long, and Koa realized she wanted to talk more.
Of course, she did. She was with kids all day and then came home to Tutu.
Tutu was great and all but not exactly the kind of friend Mia probably needed being so far from home.
She was hoping for a friendly conversation, and Koa was too stuck on his overwhelming attraction to her. He was being an idiot.
“I’ll still be up for a bit longer if you want to stay and chat?” Koa offered.
Chat? When was the last time he’d used that word in a sentence?
Mia set her glass back down, that stunning smile on display.
“What brought you to Maui?” Koa asked, genuinely interested. And not just because her answer would hopefully prove to Preston and himself that Mia was moving right back and Koa was right to avoid her.
Mia drew her finger around the edge of the glass. “I guess a fresh start?”
Koa kept quiet, hoping she’d say more. He’d gone from being unsure if he could do just a conversation with Mia to hanging on her every word. Was this bordering on obsessive? Should he go to a doctor in the morning?
“My parents passed in a car wreck a little over a year ago.”
Koa put a hand over hers, not even thinking before he reacted. Their touch was electric, and it took every ounce of self-discipline for him not to pull back. “I’m so sorry,” he spoke, willing his mind to forget about his attraction and focus on what Mia was saying.
Mia flipped over her hand and wound her fingers through his. Koa savored every point where their hands touched. He glanced at her face and couldn’t quite describe the look she was giving him. Her eyes wouldn’t let go of his as her cheeks became that perfect pink once more.
He was going straight to hell. Only the worst of men wouldn’t be able to put away what they were feeling for a woman as she was revealing something so incredibly horrific.
But as her hand gripped his, he realized she needed his strength. So he’d give it to her. He’d be her stabilizing force for as long as she needed him.
Her eyes dropped, and Koa was able to breath once more.
“You don’t have to say more if you don’t want to. I understand losing someone you love.”
Koa’s losses weren’t recent, but his dad had passed when Koa was three and his mom had gone to prison for drug use during much of his youth.
And though he was pretty sure she was no longer in prison, in many ways his mom was already gone to him.
He’d lost her time and time again until one day he couldn’t let her back into his life when he knew she was going to choose to leave again.
“Your parents?” Mia asked as she glanced down the hall toward the family pictures Tutu had hung on the wall.
Koa nodded. “It was a freak accident on the job. My dad did landscaping and knew better than anyone what falling trees could do. But his coworker was negligent. My dad paid with his life.”
Mia wiped her cheeks with her free hand, refusing to let go of Koa.
“My mom sued the company and won a huge settlement. But according to Tutu, her grief was so deep. She thought winning would help the pain, but it didn’t. So she used the money to fund the only way she found some relief.”
Mia didn’t ask the question so many might. She just let him speak.
“She did okay with raising us for a while but soon I was a lot like Angel.”
Mia encased her hands around his, the comfort so soothing he almost forgot about his attraction.
“Tutu came in, and we were okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this about me. I just wanted to show that I understand.”
Koa wasn’t surprised he hadn’t cried. He’d spent all his tears so many years before.
Little Koa hadn’t understood how his mom could choose the drugs.
As an adult, Koa knew it wasn’t a choice.
At least not after that first time. The addiction was too much for her.
But even though his tears were gone, the pain was still as deep.
“I can’t imagine being a child without my parents. It was hard enough to lose them as an adult,” Mia continued to comfort him instead of telling her story.
“I think you can imagine it. I saw the way you showed Angel you cared. It takes a whole lot of empathy to care in the way you do.”
Mia blinked away more tears. “Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever stop crying over them.”
Koa really hoped she never would. The day he’d stopped crying was as clear to him as that moment he lived in. He’d made a choice. He’d had to. Grieving over his father always bled into wondering why his mother hadn’t cared enough for him and his brothers to walk away from the drugs while she could.
“I don’t think we’re meant to stop,” Koa said, the honesty of his words hitting him. That’s why it was so hard to think about his dad. He was supposed to keep missing him, wishing he was there. But he couldn’t.
Mia patted his hand, telling him so much more than words could.
“They were my only family. I’d never been close with my aunts, uncles or cousins. My grandparents had all died years before, the only person I had left was my husband.”
Koa froze.
Husband? He considered tugging his hand away and came close to doing so when her grip on him tightened.
Mia had a husband?