Chapter Five Kai
“This is amazing!” Jenna says over the music as we step into what seems to be a private burlesque club. A red glow emanates through the entire space, women and men swing from fabric suspended from the black ceiling, some doing quick tumbles before hoisting themselves up again in a smooth motion. A few gasps ring around the room, house music pulsing in the background.
Jenna grips my arm as a waiter appears and hands us each a glass of champagne from an ornate silver tray. I turn to her, and we bump our glasses together.
“Cheers to a good night.” She winks, flicking her blond hair behind her back. She is in a short black dress with gold safety pins running down the side, enough to show off her insane body in a way that makes me think of Elizabeth Hurley in that one Versace dress.
I opted for a sheer black dress shirt and black pants. You can barely see any skin but there’s enough of a hint. I can admit I look good and surprisingly; my confidence is at an all-time high despite being surrounded by all the designer watches, shoes, short dresses, and expensive silks.
“Kai,” a familiar voice comes from behind me.
My heart shoots up to my throat and all that confidence I had flowing through me seems to dry up in a second because when I turn, Levi is standing there. He’s in all black again, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and buttons popped open, enough to show the hint of a tattoo that sits just under his collarbone. The diamond bracelet sits in its place as if reminding me to stop staring.
“Oh, you must be Levi,” Jenna says without missing a beat.
Levi’s brown eyes fall on her, and he smiles, that personable one he gives everyone in the office. “And you must be Jenna.” He holds out his hand and she takes it. “A pleasure.”
His voice is smoky and smooth and despite the people around us and the dancers floating above us, it’s like I’m paused in time.
“I’m glad you came,” Levi says, his eyes shifting to me. “You both look great.”
I suddenly feel self-conscious in my sheer shirt. “Thank you,” I finally manage to get out, “You uh—you look great too.”
Smooth, Kai, smooth.
I can feel Jenna grinning next to me. She knows I’m drowning here because Levi looks like that.
“This place looks amazing. It’s like we’re in a Parisian burlesque club,” she says, looking around and saving me a little in the process.
Levi smiles. “You have to repeat that to Kez, Anant’s girlfriend. She’ll be ecstatic.” He turns to look at a table a few feet away from us. There are at least five people around it, chatting enthusiastically but my eyes gravitate towards Cole. In front of us, Levi says we should come meet everyone, so we follow.
When we reach the table, my eyes are instinctively pulled to Cole again. He’s in a green shirt that makes his eyes appear brighter and tonight, he doesn’t look quite as dark and stormy as he usually does. Instead, he’s laughing with a beautiful woman with golden blond braids that stretch down her arms.
The conversation stops, eyes landing on us, but I can only see Cole. Jade green eyes assess me and heat spreads down my neck.
What is it about him—about both of them—that makes me feel like I don’t know my own name? Sure, they are hot, but I’ve seen hot guys. Connor is hot. James was too but with Levi and Cole, it’s like my brain stops working.
“Anant, Kez, meet Kai and Jenna,” Levi says.
The girl with braids next to Cole is the first to smile. “Hi,” she says with a wide grin. “Glad you could make it. The more the merrier.”
Anant shoots us a mock salute and smiles. “Kai, Jenna. Great to meet you. You’ll have to take a celebratory drink with me. Twenty-nine doesn’t come around every day.”
Kez rolls her eyes next to him but it’s cute. “That’s how birthdays usually work, babe.”
Anant gives her a loving smile, leaning in for a kiss. Kez indulges him and pecks him lightly before turning back to us. “So, anyone up for a drink?”
A round of tequila shots appears from nowhere and Anant gives a celebratory toast. I feel a little looser once it’s down my throat and when my eyes fall on Cole again, I’m a lot less apprehensive.
“You owe me a book,” I tell him.
Cole’s lips twitch. “You were planning on reading here?”
It’s meant to trip me up, but I don’t let him. The shot has me feeling a little too confident and instead, I feel myself smile. “I’m sure I could have found a quiet corner here somewhere.”
Cole’s lips twist into a smirk but before he can say anything, Anant shouts for more shots. The room around us erupts in cheers but I know my limits. Jenna beams next to me and whispers in my ear, “This is insane. I can’t believe you are friends with these people.”
I gaze at Levi and Cole. Are they my friends now? Me being here must mean I am and yet I’ve had some less than platonic thoughts about them. It’s not right. I shouldn’t think of them that way, so I tear my gaze away from them to Jenna, grinning and bumping her shoulder.
The music picks up around us, a sultry deep house, the kind that plays in the club scene of a movie. Kez stands from her seat between Cole and Anant and looks at Jenna and I, “Do you want to dance? We can leave these three to be boring.” She lands her eyes on Anant, Levi, and Cole when she says that.
“Oh, I’ll be dancing,” Anant declares, standing and taking Kez’s hand.
I’d like to think I have a bit of rhythm thanks to my mother’s genes, but the way Kez moves against Anant is something to marvel at. Her blonde braids splay around her, creating an almost hypnotic pattern.
“Jesus,” Jenna mutters. “Are people allowed to be that hot?”
I grin at her. Before Marie, Jenna was somewhat of a player. Her being a personal trainer with an insane body and perfectly blue eyes made her the object of many women’s desires. I can’t count the number of women I had messaging me asking if Jenna hated them or why she wouldn’t call them. Meeting Marie was as big a blessing for me as it was for her.
“You think Marie would be into having a third?” I joke.
She punches me and I laugh but something has me turning my head to look at Levi and Cole. Their heads are close together, stuck in deep conversation, Levi smiling, eyes clearly full of love. I tear my gaze away, swallowing down the weird dryness in my mouth.
After a few songs, Kez pulls us towards the bar area. The dancers still float up in the sky and more people have filtered into the party. Excited murmurs buzz over the music, old friends reuniting and new friendships forming. Jenna and I order margaritas, sticking to the tequila, and Kez picks a lavender spritz.
“So, what do you two do?” she asks, sipping her purple-coloured drink.
“I’m a personal trainer,” Jenna says.
Kez’s eyes brighten. “No way. Really? I have been searching for a personal trainer for months!”
“She’ll kill you,” I say, taking a sip of my drink.
Jenna and I went to the gym this morning and she made me hold a plank with a plate on my back for a minute.
“Kai’s dramatic,” Jenna says. “He can’t handle a tiny ten-kilogram plate on his back for five seconds.”
Kez laughs. “I need someone who can kick my ass. I have a few friends who would love to meet you. Kai, do you mind?”
I shake my head because Jenna looks excited to be meeting potential high-profile clients and I am not about to be a clingy best friend and hold her back. “No, please go ahead.” I hold up my margarita to show them both I’m just fine and Jenna gives me an excited thumbs up as she follows Kez to a table full of people.
I stand at the bar for a moment, contemplating whether I should go back to Cole and Levi. Despite my reluctance to admit it, I do have a small crush on both of them and I feel a little ridiculous to be crushing on two people in a couple.
Levi has been nothing but kind and helpful yet here I am picturing him and his boyfriend naked and making out with me. My stomach knots at the thought. I’m probably just deprived and need a release. Maybe I should join a dating app. Connor can help me set one up.
“I’d ask to get you a drink, but you already have one,” a voice comes up behind me.
I look up to find a guy with beautifully tousled chestnut brown hair and warm eyes looking at me. He’s handsome, all chiselled features, and slightly thin, like he might be a Burberry model who rolls his own cigarettes and can play the ukulele or something equally niche.
I stand up a little straighter, banishing all my self-pitying thoughts. He is attractive, and I need to get Levi and Cole out of my brain. So, I give him my best smile and lean in.
“Well, I won’t be drinking this forever,” I say.
He grins, full lips turning up, revealing perfectly straight teeth. “I’m Adam,” he says.
“Kai.”
Adam looks around us, at the dancing party and the people sitting around the tables. “So, how do you know the birthday boy?”
It happens automatically, my head turns to Anant’s table, but no one is there. I snap back to reality, focusing back on Adam. “I met him today. I know his friend,” I say.
Adam raises a brow, “Oh, which friend is that? Maybe I know them.”
I open my mouth to say Levi’s name but like a magic trick, he appears next to me before I can speak.
“Levi,” Adam says smoothly. He puffs out his chest ever so slightly. “It’s been a while.”
“Hello, Adam.” Levi’s voice is level, cordial even, but I can tell there’s something else behind it. Even though I haven’t known him for a long time, I’ve come to learn Levi Bellamy may be one of the friendliest people around and his choosing not to throw someone his easy smile is strange. “It’s good to see you.”
Adam’s eyes land on me. “You two know each other?”
“He’s the friend I was talking about actually,” I say brightly, trying to diffuse whatever weird tension is building around us.
Adam looks between Levi and me. It’s only then that I realise Levi is alarmingly close, our arms touching. Suddenly, I can hardly concentrate, the heat from his bare forearm is scorching my skin.
“Oh,” Adam says after a second. “How’s Cole? I haven’t seen him around in a while. Is he here?”
“Cole is fine,” Levi says breezily as a hand comes to hold my arm just by my elbow. I freeze. “Sorry, but would you excuse Kai and I?”
Adam shifts on his legs, eyes flashing with something. “We were in the middle of a pretty good conversation.”
Levi turns to me. He arches an eyebrow. “Were you?”
There’s something about the way he says it, completely dismissive that almost has me shaking my head to tell him it wasn’t that great and to let him take me wherever he was planning to. I only stop myself from doing so, because he’s in a relationship and I need to stop being so pathetic.
I nod, looking back at Adam. “We were.”
A strange smile appears on Levi’s face, one that has the hair on the back of my neck standing. I don’t miss the fact that he’s still holding onto me, his grip tight. “I’m sure you can pick up your conversation later.” He turns to Adam. “Excuse us.”
And then he’s pulling me away and I’m too dumbstruck to stop him.
We’re a few steps away when my mind returns to me. “What was that about?”
Levi lets me go and the heat dissipates from my skin, but a weird sense of disappointment rises.
Be normal, I chide.
“He’s a dick. You shouldn’t waste your time,” Levi says.
I lift my eyebrows, but he doesn’t comment further. “Okay, where are we going?”
Levi grabs a champagne glass and hands one to me before picking up two more and we head out into what looks like an empty lobby area.
“It’s a surprise,” he says.
We wait for an elevator and when it comes, Levi swipes a card, before it lurches up. I glance at him and he’s smiling serenely, pleased with himself.
“Why’d you say Adam’s a dick?” I ask, still curious. “He seemed nice.”
Levi glances at me, leaning against the wall. For a second, I forget my question, looking at his eyes and then his lips. I hadn’t noticed but he has a prominent cupid’s bow, and I wonder what it’d be like to—
“Long story,” he says, cutting off my unsafe thoughts.
I swallow just as the elevator comes to a stop with a soft ding. I take a deep breath to steady myself and then a small sip of the champagne when we step out into a softly lit hall that has glass doors that open up onto what looks like a rooftop.
My breath catches when Levi opens the door for me. A burst of cold air touches my skin, but I barely notice because before me is the vast city in all its glory, stretching out into the night, buildings lit up like fallen stars illuminating from the ground.
That’s when I spot Cole, leaning against the wall. His arms are braced on the ledge and his back is to us, his hair blowing in the gentle evening breeze.
“Wow,” I hear myself say.
Cole turns, his eyes landing on me, assessing me carefully. Once again, I am prey caught in a web, unable to escape.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” His smile reaches his eyes.
I walk up to the ledge, stopping right next to him. It’s already February and I don’t feel cold despite the icy air. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s them, making my blood pump through me at an unbelievable pace.
“Yeah,” I breathe quietly, looking out at the silhouette of London Bridge and the tower under construction in the distance.
Levi hands Cole the other glass of champagne which he places on the ledge. I can almost hear my heart racing and this time I dare myself to look at both of them, to ask myself what they want from me.
“Why’d you bring me up here?” I ask.
Levi shrugs easily. “It’s pretty. Thought you should see it.”
It’s a good enough explanation but there’s something else. Something in the way my blood rushes whenever Levi is close to me or something in the way Cole makes me feel like he can see right through me. It’s unnerving and it’s like they know.
Something akin to embarrassment takes root and I try to ignore it, averting my eyes and looking out at the jutting spires of churches, and skyscrapers. A light breeze kisses my cheek. I turn back to find them both looking at me. My heart leaps to my throat, my champagne long forgotten on the ledge.
“It is,” I say finally, my voice hoarse. “Pretty I mean. Thank you for showing me.”
Levi's eyes meet mine and he takes a step forward. I stay where I am, I have no choice, glued to the stone ledge that digs into my back. Butterflies set flight in my stomach, fluttering violently. I watch him as he takes another step and he’s so close I would only need to move my hand slightly to touch him.
I want to touch him.
I can feel Cole next to me, but I don’t dare look at him. My head is swimming and when Levi leans in, I’m engulfed in that familiar scent of tobacco and vanilla. Electricity jolts through me, and when his lips touch mine, I think I might combust.
For a second, I’m completely still, my lips struggling to catch up and then all at once, my entire body melts into him. I part my lips, letting his tongue in, kissing him back easily. His hand comes up to hold my cheek and a desperate quiet moan escapes my mouth. It’s like the entire world melts away—the lights, the breeze—everything going still. Yet just as I’m losing myself in it, it all ends too quickly, and he pulls away, a smile dancing on his lips. His thumb swipes my bottom lip and I open my mouth to say something.
“I—” words I don’t know are at the tip of my tongue, but before I can get them out, I feel a gentle tug and I slam into Cole’s hard body before my breath is completely stolen away again.
Where Levi is soft, Cole’s kiss is demanding. He doesn’t let up, his hand gripping my chin to keep me in place. This time, an outright moan escapes me, my hand gripping his shirt in a fist. Blinding heat rushes through me, pooling right at the bottom of my stomach.
It’s a bruising kiss, and I bend to it easily, without even fighting him. Images of things I want begin to flash behind my closed eyes and I try to banish them but it’s impossible with Cole’s lips on me. I pull him in further, desperate for some sort of friction.
Only before I can grind my hips against him, he pulls away and that awful feeling of humiliation washes over me in an instant like a bucket of ice water being thrown at me.
I open my mouth, but no words come. I look at both of them, my mind struggling to catch up with what has just happened.
“Shit,” I say. “I’m so sorry.” I’m apologising before I can stop myself, like an instinct.
Cole tilts his head, looking completely calm except for the slight red of his cheeks from the cold. “Why are you apologising?”
My brain is blank. Everything is blank. My heart is racing, and my blood is burning. Levi smiles, it’s dangerous and I feel like I’m trapped. “We kissed you.”
Why did they kiss me, I wonder.
“Because.” Levi takes another step forward and takes my face in his hand again. His lips find mine, kissing me once. “You’re beautiful, Kai.”
I realise I asked that out loud. A mixture of confusion and euphoria washes through me. It’s the only way to describe it. I want to say something, but my brain may as well be on a vacation. Nothing makes sense.
“We should head back downstairs,” Cole says. “Before we all catch a cold.”
“Right,” I say a little dumbly.
I’m going to need a minute.
Maybe ten.
Questions are still buzzing in my head when we make our way downstairs and when we step back into the room, the lights are dimmer, and the music is louder. I spot Jenna across the room, stuck in conversation with a tall dark-skinned guy who looks as fit as her. She’s laughing, and even though I’m desperate to tell her what just happened, I’m not sure I can make sense of it myself.
I know I need to speak to both Cole and Levi, but my blood is hot, and I definitely need a drink before I can do any speaking. And as if God Himself hears me, Anant appears from nowhere, Kez in his arms.
“Where have you been?” he demands, eyes on Levi. He can barely keep himself upright. “You’re like three shots behind.”
Kez pats his chest and shakes her head. “What he means is, we should be dancing and you three disappeared.”
I notice Levi and Cole’s eyes meet like they are telepathically communicating something. I wish I was in on their conversation and something about it makes my stomach churn. Like what just happened doesn’t matter. It doesn't matter. They are together and it was just a stupid kiss.
“Actually, I think we’re going to head home,” Levi says.
Anant makes a face. “You’re both so boring,” he says a little sullenly.
“We should get you home too,” Kez says, patting his shoulder. She shoots us a smile. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, she ushers Anant away and I’m left with them again. I prepare myself to say goodbye despite the confused desire running through me.
“You coming?” Levi asks, eyes trained on me.
And again, my brain short circuits but at least this time, I don’t need words. I want them, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before.
I shouldn’t.
But I feel myself nod. “Yeah, sure.”