Chapter Ten Cole
The sound of applause rings around the boardroom to mark the start of the construction project for two new residential towers. It’s partly commissioned by the Armas family in conjunction with the Laing Real Estate Group amongst others.
I sit on the Laing side as the executive director for the London office and my brother Nicholas sits on the Armas side as our father’s first son. He gives me a quick wink from across the table as everyone rises from their seats, laughing and patting themselves on the back for a job well done.
I feel someone touch my arm and I resist the urge to openly flinch. I hate being touched by strangers. I look down to find a woman smiling warmly at me, rubbing my back affectionately.
“Amazing work, Cole,” she says. “This is going to be huge for us.”
I return the smile; the charming one I spent years perfecting in the mirror. It comes so naturally now that half the time I believe it’s real. Smiling and laughing with all these people, making sure they are comfortable just like I learnt to do with my family.
“Thank you, Ines. But you know we wouldn’t have made it this far without you,” I tell her. “You deserve all the credit.”
She waves a hand, blushing. “Oh, no stop. You’re always so sweet,” she laughs, shaking her head. “I’ll see you out there,” she says, and she walks out of the boardroom, probably to join the expensive lunch we’re paying for.
Just as I’m about to leave, Nicholas appears in front of me, a small smile dancing on his lips.
“Cole,” he says. “It’s great to see you. You were great. I see why Nanny and Grandad chose you to take over the London office.”
Even though we have the same eyes, and the same dark hair that is almost black in a certain light, Nick is slightly shorter which was always a constant gripe like somehow, it was my fault I came out that way.
I give him a warm smile, but I know it’s wasted on him. He sees right through it. He always has. “Thanks, Nick. That’s nice of you to say.”
Growing up, we were raised to be perfect. My father demanded nothing less from us, no creased clothes, no grades below an A and no screaming around the house. If you failed, you were punished. Nick did his best to stay in line. He’s always understood the weight of being an Armas. He’s always wanted it. I never did.
He shifts on his feet, choosing to linger. That’s weird, we only average about two sentences to each other per quarter. “Have you spoken to Dad recently?” he finally asks.
And there it is. A few weeks ago, my father informed me of his plans to walk away from a few facets of the Armas business. He wanted to offer me a chance to become who he thought I should be—the perfect heir to a ruthless empire built on blood.
The night I killed Socks, something shifted between all of us. To my mother, I was disturbed. To my father, I showed potential. To Nick, it only confirmed what he believed before—I should have never been born.
“I have,” I say. “He’s walking away.”
Nick bites the inside of his cheek and nods. Green eyes stare back at me like he’s trying very hard to read what I’m thinking. “Did he offer you anything?”
The keys to the goddamn kingdom.
I nod. “He did.” I’ve always enjoyed watching my brother squirm. It’s only right after everything he’s done. The content beatings, the name calling, the shed…
“What did you say?”
I shrug. “Don’t worry, I said no. You know I don’t want anything to do with it. Trust me, you’ve got nothing to worry about, Nicky.”
The Armas name is behind countless businesses, from construction to shipping to a company like A-EYE. On the surface, it’s all legitimate but under it lies a dark truth. I’ve seen my father and uncles kill people for reneged deals, and I’ve watched them befriend arms dealers and smugglers.
I see my brother deflate as he runs a hand through his hair. He looks at me again with that piercing glare and pinched mouth. “Swear it,” he says finally.
I huff out a laugh. “What?”
“Swear it on Levi’s life.”
I frown, feeling my mood plummeting in a second. Nick saying Levi’s name makes me twitch. Neither he nor Dad approve of our relationship because of the tattoos and the little fact that he’s a man. To my family, continuing the Armas name is crucial but if everything I am, dies with me, I’d consider that a win.
“I’m not swearing on Levi’s life, Nick.”
Whilst I don’t have any particular moral objections to any of the things the Armas name is responsible for, I’ve never wanted to be a part of it. Mostly because I knew if I got a taste of the bloodiness that comes with it, I’d become a victim of it.
A strange smile appears on his lips like he’s just realised something. “Fine. Just promise you won’t go anywhere near this even if Dad asks again.”
I almost feel bad for my brother. He’s spent his entire life working to be something our father can love. But no matter how hard he tries; Dad will never love anything more than he loves himself and my mother. The rest of us are just pawns on his chessboard.
Maybe Socks would have lived a long and healthy life if Nick realised that sooner.
Maybe I’d have never known there was something wrong with me.
“I promise I won’t touch what’s yours, Nick,” I say, trying my best to sound sincere.
His nostrils flare but he nods, straightening his blue silk tie. He taps my arm and smiles. “It was good seeing you, Cole,” he says. “Oh! And say hello to Levi for me, will you? I’m always happy you have someone who loves you despite everything.” He winks and then he’s walking out the door, leaving me alone in the sleek boardroom.
I let out a deep breath, looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows that offer a view of the City of London. It’s only two in the afternoon but my body feels exhausted. Speaking with Nick always leaves me like that, like I’ve been in some sort of battle where you’re only allowed to use lies and smiles.
But as long as Nick stays far away from Levi, I can ignore his existence just like I have been doing for the last nineteen years.
After a long kickboxing session with Kez and our trainer, my knuckles are raw, and my muscles ache but all that tension from seeing Nick has dissipated.
I look at Levi who holds up my hand, examining my knuckles. “Were you trying to kill someone?” he laughs.
I pull back my hand and kiss him lightly on the mouth. “The trainer was trying to kill me. I had to do something.”
Before Levi, I was convinced I was straight. I liked the girls I dated but I don’t think I was ever in love with any of them. I figured that had more to do with my condition more than anything but being with Levi has made me realise that may not be it. Maybe I’ve always been waiting for him.
“How was your day?” he asks.
I’ve never told him the truth. When we met, he had a habit of getting lost in his mind and I never wanted to burden him with my past. Even if I rarely speak to Nick or my family, and the old version of me is gone, I still want to protect him from it all. If I can help it, none of it will ever touch him.
I smile. “Fine,” I say. “Yours?”
Levi shrugs, coming up to straddle me. “Fine,” he mimics me before pulling me into a deep kiss. His hips rock against me, the friction enough to get me hard.
Last night, Kai was here. Our room has become a secret world and I’m becoming terrifyingly hooked on this arrangement.
“Do you want to fuck me?” Levi asks.
“I always want that,” I whisper. It’s the truth.
But fucking Kai is vastly different from fucking Levi. Kai is pliant and sweet. He likes to submit and likes to be told what to do. Levi is a bit of a brat. He bites, scratches and fights me on everything. Nothing about him is submissive.
I grab his neck, his tongue invading my mouth without holding back. “You’re my entire world, you know that?” I whisper against his mouth. Sometimes it’s terrifying how true it is. I’d do anything to keep him safe.
I flip him over, earning a quiet yelp from him, and pull off his black shorts in a swift motion. “You gonna behave?” I ask. It’s a stupid question, he won’t but that’s always half the fun.
Levi pops his pale ass up. I slap it as hard as I can and watch it colour pink and then red. Under me, Levi moans into the covers. “You prefer it when I don’t. Now, just fuck me like this.”
I laugh, spanking him again, my other hand on his waist, keeping him in place. He looks good like this, in the dim light coming from the bedside lamps. Then again, he always looks beautiful. He’s slightly leaner than me but the muscles in his back are taut and they ripple at each movement. Intricate tattoos travel down his arm, the beautiful archangel tattoo on his back, and I can’t help but lean down, kissing it, revelling in the sounds leaving his mouth.
My tongue traces down Levi’s spine slowly, one hand cupping and massaging his ass and pulling slightly to show his flushed pink hole. I sit up, taking in the view for a second as he stirs his hips, looking to grind down onto something.
My hand digs into his skin, enough to bruise, stopping him from moving. Levi groans, looking up at me. His lips are bruised, his cheeks flushed pink and his hair a mess on his head. He looks pretty well fucked and we haven’t even started yet.
“You’re so annoying sometimes,” he mutters.
“I know,” I say, but I want to take my time with him tonight. I’ve missed having his body all to myself. I lean down again, desperate to taste him and hear him scream. My tongue barely licks against Levi’s hole at first, but he still lets out a quiet cry, his entire body jolting and his hands clutching the duvet tightly in his fist.
“Am I still annoying?” I ask him, before swirling my tongue slowly. “Look how desperate you are, Evie.”
He moans, loud this time, begging me for more. I smile against him, tensing my tongue and prodding further into him. The sound that he makes travels straight down to my aching cock, but I ignore it, wanting to make him feel good first. I want to see that far-gone, starry look in his eyes before I fuck him.
“F-uck, Cole,” Levi lets out a breathy moan, trying to writhe away from me or maybe grind his cock onto the bed but I hold him in place, swirling my tongue around his hole, driven by the wrecked moans spilling from him.
As slow as I want to take this, scorching licks of desire grow inside me, and I can barely wait anymore. I move off the bed to stand, and Levi looks up at me, leaning back on his elbows with an eyebrow arched.
“You’re still dressed,” he says.
I look down at my bare torso and black sweatpants then back at Levi who is fully naked on his bed.
“Undress me then,” I tell him. “Show me how badly you want me to fuck you.”
He stares up at me, eyes slightly misty with moisture and gets onto his knees, thighs trembling slightly. My eyes hungrily trail the lines of his body and the beautiful ink. He places his hand on my stomach, tracing the lines with his finger before sliding down into my sweatpants.
Goosebumps rise on my skin when I feel the grip of his fist around my cock. I hiss quietly as he catches my lips between his teeth, biting down hard enough to draw blood. The taste of copper floods my mouth as his hand plays with pre-cum that leaks out my slit.
“Do that again and I’ll spank you until you can’t sit through any of your meetings tomorrow.” I palm at his ass, grabbing a little roughly, just to get the message across.
He grins against me. “Tempting, but I want you to fuck me.” He pauses. “You want that too, right?”
When I met Levi, I knew there was something inside his head I couldn’t reach, something that made him believe he didn't deserve to be free of it.
I kiss him gently, slowly, and languidly, hoping it translates everything I feel. “If I could spend my life inside you, I would.”
He stops stroking my cock for a second, watching me like he’s trying to decide if I’m telling him the truth. I cup his jaw, desperate to distract him. “Let me open you up.”
“Just fuck me. I can take it.”
I tilt my head, trying to gauge his mood. Sometimes Levi likes the pain but sometimes he only wants it to punish himself for something. It’s been two and half years and looking at him now, I know this is one of those times, but I know asking about it now won’t get me anywhere.
“Not happening,” I say, and grab the half-empty lube in the side table. We’ve been going through it much quicker with Kai.
He snatches it away from me, narrowing his eyes. “Thought you liked hurting me.”
“Only when I know it’ll feel good at the end,” I clarify. “Now turn around for me.”
Before him, I experimented with some pretty kinky stuff, chasing a high I’d only ever felt once and whilst I was into a lot of it, nothing ever really did the trick. Not as well as one night with Levi did anyway. I could cut him but he’s not in the right headspace for that.
Levi spins, arching his ass in the air. One hand slowly pulls at his ass, revealing his slightly wet hole and it is just as obscene as it is hypnotising. I watch him circle his hole with a wet finger before sinking it in slowly. It’s deliberate, he’s putting on a show, trying to get me to say fuck it and take him right there. I almost give in, but I’m too lost watching Levi come apart from his own fingers. I barely registered myself pulling out my cock, already leaking and stroking it, just to relieve myself of the ache.
He whimpers when another finger slips in and I can’t help myself, my hand landing on his waist again, and slipping a finger in, feeling the hot and wet warmth. He falters against me, thighs almost giving in, but I hold him up, moving my finger alongside his slow and deep.
“More?” I ask.
“Seriously Cole, just—”
I don’t let him finish. I line myself up against him and push in, not bothering to take it slow until his back is flush against my chest, using one hand to hold him up and the other to pull his chin around for a kiss.
It’s messy, both of us chasing a release, a little too riled up already.
“Harder,” Levi demands.
I smile and lean down to trail an open-mouthed kiss along the column of his neck, sinking my teeth right in the dip of the clavicle.
“Ah!” Levi screams, leaning his head back into me and clenching.
I groan, I’ll come if he continues like this, so I flip him over, until he’s on his back, his cock leaking against his thigh. I slide inside him again, and he lets out a cry. My hand goes around his cock, and I lean down to kiss him.
“Cole…” he breathes against me just as my other hand wraps around his throat, squeezing right at the base, and applying pressure.
I pull back until I’m looming over him, snapping my hips forward without much rhythm now. Wrecked whimpers leave his mouth, and I take them in, heat burning through me.
“You belong to me,” I tell him.
He lets out a quiet sob as I tighten my grip around his throat. “Say it,” I say through gritted teeth. “Say you belong to me.”
He looks up at me, eyes shiny with moisture. “I belong to you, Cole.”
I smile. He’s close and this time, I hold tight enough to cut off his air supply. His lips part and his eyes flicker. It’s a minute of frenzied thrusts and ragged breathing but we both come together, and I lean back, just to watch his eyes flutter and close.
I make sure to clean Levi and myself up before getting under the covers with him. It’s already eleven in the evening and Levi’s eyelids keep closing.
“You okay?” I brush his hair off his forehead and kiss it gently.
“Hmm,” Levi hums happily, a smile dancing on his lips. “Perfect. Thank you.”
Like this, wrapped in my arms, even if I’m only a few months older than him, he looks so much younger.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Levi asks, voice heavy with sleep.
“Okay, with what?”
“Kai.”
Oh. That’s what he feels guilty about. He’s enjoying what we’re doing with Kai, but I am too. Clearly, I find Kai attractive enough to fuck as well. He’s sweet—so different from Levi and I.
“Levi, we’re having fun. You know I’d say it if I wasn’t happy.”
He gazes up at me for a second, but he can barely keep his eyes open. I kiss him again and slowly watch him drift. I lay there for a while, watching his lips twitch here and there and feeling his chest rise and fall in my arms. He’s so beautiful, I think I would burn the entire world down if I ever got the slightest sense that he wanted me to.
It’s midnight when my grandmother calls and I slip out of bed, making my way to my office.
“Hey Nanny,” I answer.
“Cole, my sweetheart, how are you?”
My mother’s parents live in upstate New York. I was fourteen when the fire happened and I ran to them, staying until after I graduated university. I only came back to London because they asked me to, and I owed them too much not to say yes.
“I’m great,” I tell her, realising how much I mean it. “I’m sure you heard the good news. We signed the contract on the new developments today.”
“Was your brother there?” she asks.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “He was.”
She hums quietly but says nothing else, launching into questions about work and Levi instead. When we end the call, I stand in my office, looking at the shelves of books that stand against the walls. I walk over to the left bookshelf where all my favourite books sit and pick up one before pulling out my phone and clicking on Kai’s name.
Me: Found the perfect book for you. Can’t wait for you to read it. Hope you picked out something good for me?
His response is instant, like he knew I was about to message him.
Kai: I have. You’ll love it. Good night, Cole :)
There’s a smiley face at the end that makes me frown for a second. Are we friends with Kai? There was no boundary against it, but I don’t know how I feel about texting him personally. Usually, Levi asks him to come over. I look at the smile on his face again, and then the book in my hand.
I realise I want him to like it.
Me: Sleep well, Kai.