Chapter 35
Tyler is perched on one of the barstools at my kitchen island, drumming his fingers against the countertop when I push open the door to my condo in Nashville. The second I step inside, he doesn’t waste a breath.
“I’ve been thinking about your contract,” he says, getting straight to the point. “I think I know how we can fulfill it.”
I drop everything to the floor with a thud and look at him. “Go on.”
“I honestly don’t know why I didn’t think of this already. What do you think about a live album? Your last concert is at Red Rocks. It’s perfect for a live recording.”
Exhaling hard, I walk over and sink onto the stool beside him, dropping my head into my hands. Of course. I can’t believe neither of us thought about this. Artists do it all the time. The obvious solution was practically staring me in the face.
I scrub my hands up and down my face and turn. “This is genius. What do ya think Doug will say? Seems like he just wants to make things hard on me.”
Tyler shakes his head rocking it from side to side. “Eh—I don’t know about that. He’s just a hard ass. All we can do is pitch it to him and see what he says,” Tyler replies, his leg bouncing.
He goes to his messenger bag, retrieving a notebook, and we dive into the details. This is what I love. The creative process. The music. Laying out the bones of an album, shaping something real from an idea.
After about an hour, we’ve nailed down every song we want for the setlist and we even have a name for the album in mind: To Hell and Back . It couldn’t be more fitting. This tour was hell on earth at times, but I made it. I fought my way through, and came out on the other side. Still standing. Still here.
The whole time we work, my eyes drift to my phone, checking for messages from Penny. I try to be subtle about it, but Tyler notices—because, of course he does. With a knowing chuckle, he shakes his head.
“You’ve really got it bad, don’t you?”
“She’s it for me, Ty. As soon as this is over I’m going back to her. I’ll put this place on the market.” I look around at my condo. “And when she’s ready, I’m marrying her.”
Ty lets out a low whistle. “Damn. Guess we better make this pitch good then, huh. You gonna tell her?” He nods his head toward my phone.
I weigh the pros and cons of telling her now. If Doug shuts this down, I’m stuck recording another album under their terms, and God knows what that’ll look like. Telling her now would get her hopes up, only for them to come crashing down if things don’t work out with the negotiations.
“I think I’ll wait until I know something certain.”
Ty nods. “He probably won’t agree at first. You know that, right? You’ll have to prove to him that you’ve got your shit together and that this album will make them a hefty sum of money.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes. I don’t care what hoops I have to jump through, I’m getting this done. I want out of this contract and I wanna be with Penny.” I glance down at my phone one more time, exhaling. “So let’s do it right. He won’t have a reason to say no.”
* * *
Tyler and I get to my label’s office early the next morning. The meeting’s set for nine, but in Tyler’s mind, on time is late and early is on time. So here we are, waiting in his SUV at 8:15, a comfortable silence between us as we finish up our sausage biscuits we grabbed on the way.
At 8:30 on the dot, we head into the shiny mirrored door of the office. I remember early on in my career being impressed by it all. Walking through those doors for the first time was a dream come true, with no clue where it would lead me in life.
Kate is already waiting in the lobby, her fingers flying over her laptop keyboard, never in an idle moment. She’s as polished as ever, dressed in a sleek black business suit paired with red-soled stilettos that she could probably run a marathon in. Kate is unruffled and composed 99 percent of the time, her appearance reflecting that. When she looks up, she stands to greet us with a firm handshake.
The three of us walk to where Doug is already standing waiting at his office door. After offering us all a bottle of some fancy as shit water, he motions for us to have a seat. As he circles around to his oversized, gaudy desk, we settle in, the air practically crackling with tension.
Tyler clears his throat, breaking the silence. "Doug, as you know Austin’s contract is coming up for renewal."
Doug raises one bushy eyebrow. “If I’m not mistaken, he still owes us one more album.” He directs the statement at Tyler like I’m not sitting right here.
“Correct. So we’d like to fulfill the contract with a live album,” Tyler says. Doug gives a short, dismissive snort, and I feel my hackles rise. I can already tell he’s not going to go for it, but Tyler presses on. "Hear us out. Austin has two more concerts coming up. We’ll record both and pick from the best.” He turns to Kate. "Any word from Albuquerque and Denver?"
"I have,” she replies, scrolling to something on her laptop. “As luck would have it, they both have openings soon." She flips open her day planner, which is crammed with sticky notes. “The venue in Albuquerque can do three weeks from now and Red Rocks is free the following weekend.”
Tyler glances at me, his eyebrows raised in question. "Those work for you?"
“I’ll do what I have to do,” I reply. I still stand by what I said to Tyler weeks ago. I hate the flashy lights and confetti, but these fans deserve what they paid for. Then I'm done.
“I’ve been working on some new music. I’m willing to throw in some new songs at the next two concerts. We can add it to the album,” I add. This isn’t something I’ve talked to Tyler about since the idea popped into my head, quite literally, two seconds ago.
Everyone turns to me. Tyler’s eyebrows rise. “You’re willing to do that?”
"Yes," I respond without hesitation. We both turn to Doug, waiting for his reaction.
His head tilts slightly back and forth, and I can tell he’s weighing the idea, running through the logistics in his mind.
Doug shifts in his seat. “I’ve gotta hand it to you two, you’ve put together a solid pitch.” He pins me with a stare. “But you seem to have forgotten what you’re like on tour. You really think you can keep your head on straight and stay sober long enough to give us a concert worth recording?”
My jaw clenches and I stare right back at him. “Not a doubt in my mind. It’ll be the best you’ve seen.”
He appraises me for a long moment, dragging the seconds out, but finally he looks away.
“So what do you say? A live album with never before heard songs?” Tyler asks.
Doug huffs sharply, his nostrils flaring. “I’m not saying yes, but I’m not saying no. Give me something worth listening to and you’ve got a deal. If it’s anything short of perfect, the deal’s off,” he says, extending his hand first to me, then to Tyler, and lastly to Kate.
“I’ll head out now and let you guys get to work,” Kate says, standing. I get to my feet and walk with her to the hall, leaving Tyler to discuss more details with Doug.
When we step into the hall, I think I catch Kate off guard by pulling her into a hug. She’s been my publicist for years, and I know damn well that a hugger she is not. She doesn’t even return it. She stands stiff and unmoving until I drop my arms to my sides.
"What was that?" She’s blinking rapidly.
“It was a hug,” I reply, a grin tugging at my lips. “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’ve left you to clean up my mess more times than you deserve, and you’ve handled it all beautifully. I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you.”
Kate narrows her eyes and not a single wrinkle forms from all the Botox. "I was doing my job. But you’re welcome.” She pauses, then continues, her voice softer. “I’m proud of you. You had us all worried for a while there.” She hesitates again before reaching out to awkwardly pat my arm.
I can’t help but chuckle. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Kate had a control panel in her back to flip her to robot mode. But her words mean something to me. She's cleaned up a lot of messes for me, and she's never once complained.
She turns, her heels click-click-clicking sharply down the hallway before she’s out the door. I head back to the office, taking my seat again beside Tyler.
Steepling my fingers under my chin, I lock eyes with Doug. “I’ll give you the best album you’ve ever heard, but once it’s done I’m out. I’m leaving.”
Doug gives a curt nod, like he was expecting this. He's actually putting up less of a fight than I expected for a man who’s made millions off my career. I guess he got more fed up with me than I realized when I was at rock bottom.
He levels me with an unreadable expression. “Then I guess we better get started.”
Doug, Tyler, and I spend the rest of the day making all the necessary arrangements for my upcoming performances. Luckily, the pickup band we were using is available and willing to work with me again. We start on my setlist, and I let them listen to the new songs I think I should perform. We have a lot of planning to do in a very short amount of time.