Chapter 30
RAFE
Fuck, I hurt. Every cell in my body hurts. I groan and shift. A painful rivulet of pleasure sizzles and then fizzes out. God, my ass hurts. It feels like there’s something still in it.
Water splashes when I move, and I make my eyes open. I’m in the tub with the bubbles on. Oh. Okay, it feels like there’s something in my ass because there is something in my ass. Brent’s dick.
I let my body relax again. My head falls back onto his shoulder, and he kisses me softly. His other hand slowly moves over my cock. It’s almost exploratory. Not sensual. He’s just touching me.
“You awake this time?” Brent asks quietly.
Curious question. “Was I awake before?”
“I thought so, but then you passed out again.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I don’t hate waking up with your dick inside me at all,” I say.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I figured that out.”
“How are you still hard?”
“Good question. I don’t know. I guess I just want to be inside your body. Fill you with my cum, though I don’t think I have any more.”
A shiver races down my spine. I love that.
“Are you okay?” Brent asks.
“Everything hurts,” I admit. “It’s… great.”
He kisses my neck, and I feel his smile. “You know, I’ve been thinking.”
I hold my breath, hoping this is going where I hope it’s going.
“I don’t think this is just a kink for you.”
My eyebrows knit together. “What?” Not what I thought he was going to say.
Brent laughs quietly. “I think you have a lot of pressure that you carry around. I’ve been commenting this entire time on how amazing your family is, and you’ve made comments since we met about how you want to improve your family’s marketing.
What I think you’re really saying is you need to be just as good as they are.
Maybe you’re secretly afraid of not living up to the greatness that’s come before you. ”
Wow. Why is it suddenly so difficult to breathe?
“More than that, your family is everything, Rafe. Something you know. But I’ve learned that being a good family and being a good person isn’t always the same thing.
Sometimes you treat your family amazingly.
You treasure them and spoil them and give them the world, but outside of them, you can be a shit human.
Your family is good. It’s filled with good people who do good things for others who aren’t part of their family.
They go out of their way to be good. I think even that is a lot of pressure on you because you want to be good, too.
You want to be just as good as they are. ”
Fuck. Tears threaten to fall, and I don’t even know why.
“I think you’re afraid of failing. But I don’t think this pressure is coming from anywhere but yourself.
I think you’re putting it all on your shoulders, and you never give yourself a break.
You don’t know how to give yourself a break.
I think this—the pain, the force, the breakdown—I think that’s what it takes to undo you, but you still fight.
You fight it for so long until you physically and mentally can’t.
Only then do you relax and just exist, but you know what? ”
Since he waits for my prompt, I shake my head.
“You can’t even relax then. When I notice you passed out, I stop, but you get restless until I keep going.
Whether that’s making you come or fucking you, something, you don’t like it when I stop.
It still takes you a long time to sink far enough into simply existing that I can just hold you without the constant input. ”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I’m not sure what to say. The weird thing is, his words ring loudly in my head. Especially at the beginning. About all the pressure. The expectations I put on myself. I kind of want to cry because… yeah.
Brent’s arms tighten around me. “What do you need?”
Before I can think better of it, I say, “Make me come again.” Then I wince.
He chuckles. I’m not in the least bit surprised when he sticks a vibrator to my dick. My body jerks as I gasp loudly. The water in the tub sloshes over the sides as I writhe at the painful arousal bubbling inside me.
My orgasm isn’t quick. It fights with literal nails as Brent works my cock over. I’m not even fully hard when I come. It tears a sob free, and tears streak down my cheeks. Then he holds me after, curling his body around mine. It reminds me that his damn dick is still inside me.
“You brought a vibrator to the tub,” I say between pants.
“I’ve learned a lot about you over the last twenty-four hours,” he muses. “You get restless and want me to force something on you. I don’t think I have it in me to fuck you the way you need, so this is what it is.”
“Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. Please. Do you have any idea how much it means to me that you want this from me, Rafe?” he murmurs, pressing soft kisses right in front of my ear.
“Yeah?”
“We’ve talked about how being with your family heals something inside me.
I think maybe this is healing something inside you.
Or at the very least, giving you some relief.
You don’t have to be so controlled when I’ve stripped you of it.
It’s incredibly difficult for you to let that control go, so you jumped on the idea of being tied up just so you can’t have control.
I think it’s relieving some of the pressure you’re constantly putting yourself under. ”
“I didn’t know all that, but fuck, I feel so damn raw,” I complain.
“Well, fucking you for hours at a time does that.”
I laugh and close my eyes, letting my body relax on him. Fuck. He’s still so hard inside me. “You can fuck me again,” I say quietly. “Fill me again.”
“You really like that, don’t you?”
A memory of him telling me he loves me lingers somewhere close. But it was in a dream. When I finally checked out of the moment and sank into the pain and pleasure and freedom that came with Brent’s forced… everything. I dreamed it because I needed it then.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“Well, Rafe, I don’t go to the gym like you, and I’m woefully out of shape. I think my hips are going to fall off.”
I burst into laughter. “Oh my god, what the fuck.”
Brent chuckles. “You can ride me, though. You make me so damn hard, and I fear you’re going to need to take your fill while you can. I’m not going to be able to get it up again after this for a while.”
I snort as I shift. I reluctantly pull myself off him, groaning. Not because of the loss but because all my muscles are sore from being tied up with no reprieve for so long. Once facing him, I straddle Brent’s hips, and he helps me slip him back inside.
This time, my groan is for him entering me again. God, that stings. When I said I was raw, I meant emotionally. Even without Brent telling me his thoughts on why I wanted this, it felt emotionally draining when I woke up.
But this? Yeah, my ass is raw too.
“Hurt?” Brent asks. His voice is soft. His hand moves over my neck and face.
“Yes. God, you fucked me good.”
“You’re going to feel that for a while,” he notes.
“Like that, do you?”
“Oh, for sure. I think I’ve spilled so much damn cum inside you, I can force your biology to conceive.”
I laugh. “Fuck’s sake,” I mutter.
I don’t move on him more than a gentle rolling of my hips. One in which he moves with me. Even this little bit is slightly painful because it stings. Yep, I’m totally rubbed raw.
“I learned a little about me, too,” Brent says, his lips moving over mine.
“Tell me.”
“I wasn’t sure why I gave myself forced orgasms, too. I thought it was my need to keep filling your hole, just like you wanted me to. I was doing it for you.”
His words do more to make me hot than his cock does right now. It’s sore down there, but my libido is still listening.
“It’s not just that. I think I need it for other reasons.”
When he doesn’t continue, I kiss him. His hands slide down to grip my ass cheeks. “What reasons?” I ask.
“I like that we’re sharing something that’s only ever been shared with each other,” he admits.
“I like that you enjoy how… uncontrolled I am when my prostate is hit. I like filling you with my release because I’ve never come inside anyone before.
You’ve never let someone come inside you. And vice versa. Right?”
“Yes.” I nod. “I’m afraid of babies and diseases.”
Brent huffs amusement. “And I’m never going to again.
Outside you, outside this stolen time together, it’ll never happen again.
This is ours, and I want to keep it. So, besides the weirdly addicting pain that comes with the psychotic forced orgasms, I wanted to pump as much of my cum inside you while I still can. ”
“And you know, maybe we both get off on this bit of recklessness,” I say. “We’re being fucking stupid.”
Brent smiles. “We are. Even with your box of condoms, we’re choosing to continue to be stupid.”
I know why I am. I want this piece of Brent. I wish I could keep it inside me.
“However, I really don’t think I can come again,” Brent says. “My dick is tired. I think maybe it’s just stuck hard. You know, like when your old computer screen freezes? There’s a glitch? My cock is glitching. There’s no way I can come again.”
“Fuck’s sake,” I repeat, laughing. “That’s okay. My ass hurts. I think I need to get off you for a while.”
There’s finality in this moment ending, though. With as constant and rough as this has been, I think both of our bodies need a break.
“Wait. Did you say twenty-four hours?” I sit back to look at him with wide eyes.
Brent smirks. “Yep. That’s what I said.”
“It’s the second?”
“It is,” he confirms, still smirking.
“Oh my god.”
“I had my dick in you pretty consistently all day yesterday. I woke you with it repeatedly last night. I gave the toys a recharge break and took you again early this morning as the sun came up until the toys were drained of life for a second time. We slept for a while. I thought when you woke up, you were awake, so I untied you. We got in the bath and you sat on my dick, demanding me inside you and another orgasm. I realized you weren’t quite awake yet. ”
I groan, leaning my head onto his shoulder. His fingers come up to my shoulder and along my neck, tracing the sore muscles.
“I should also tell you that I’ve left many, many bite marks on your shoulders and about as many hickeys on your neck. I’m not even sorry.”
More laughter bubbles out of me. “That’s why I’m sore where you’re touching me, huh?”
“I think you’re sore from my mouth as well as the ties. We might have ruined those ties.”
“That’s the most exciting use they’ll ever see.”
It’s a while longer before we get up. Brent gently cleans my hole, but I’m still wincing at every touch. We put some lotion on me, and I kind of wince when I walk.
There’s a chance this could be a touch embarrassing around my family. I’m sure I walk like I’ve had something up my ass for a while. Not to mention we’ve been locked in my room for more than a damn day!
We stop in the kitchen, and I devour a sandwich since it’s noon when we climb out of the tub. Brent watches me with amusement. We’re in our pajamas because it’s Pajama Day. He was even more amused when I handed him a matching set of pajamas.
My family is where I expected to find them—in the family room with Christmas movies on. There are cushions and couches and all kinds of seating options to cuddle up in, as well as a table filled with blankets to choose from.
Brent and I grab a few and then join Enfield and Xavi on the floor. I wince as soon as I sit, hissing as I adjust. Xavi finds this hilarious, and no amount of glaring wipes away his grin.
We end up on our sides with Brent the big spoon, and I fall asleep. Shocking, right? It’s not like I’ve been fucked for a day or anything.
When I wake up, the movie has changed. The room is dim.
My forehead is pressed into Enfield’s hip with Xavi’s fingers running softly through my hair.
Brent is still wrapped snugly around me, one of his hands over my heart.
The other between my legs, cupping my junk.
As if he wants to make sure I can’t get hard again.
I can’t. Not even my libido can muster up enough strength to get excited. My heart picks up the pace, so at least something is aware of how his hand on me makes me feel. I’m thankful for the blankets wrapped around us, though. No one needs to see where his hand is.
That’s for me. I sigh.
“You awake?” Xavi asks.
“Awake might not be the right word,” I mutter. “I’m momentarily conscious.”
“Seems you were busy yesterday, huh?” he teases.
“Sleeping off an all-night party does that.”
I’m not fooling anyone. Brent’s lips press a smile to the back of my neck.
“It’s okay,” Xavi says as he scoots down so his face is closer to mine and he can lower his voice. “I know what it feels like to be fucked all day. My husband is voracious. Especially once he realized how much fun butt stuff is.”
“Magic,” Enfield agrees.
Brent laughs quietly.
I grin. “Yeah, well…” No words come to me to finish that sentence, so I don’t bother. Instead, I press my face further into Enfield’s side so I can block out the world.
Slowly, the world fades away again. Xavi’s fingers continue to move soothingly through my hair. More than anything, though, I’m aware of Brent wrapped around me. The feel of his body pressed tightly to mine. His hand, warm and firm, over my heart.
His other hand gripping my crotch as if he’s holding it in place so it doesn’t fall off. Now that I’m focusing on his touch, I can feel the way his finger slowly moves over my cockhead. It’s only then that I realize his hand isn’t just holding my dick. It’s in my pants and holding my dick.
If it were possible, I’d chub right up for him. My dick can only muster a twitch though. Something Brent notices because I feel his lips curl against the back of my neck. His finger continues to move softly over my cockhead. No… around the rim of my crown.
It’s rhythmic. Soft. Strangely soothing.
It’s no surprise at all that I fall asleep again. Part of me wants dreamland to keep me so I never have to wake up from this moment.