Chapter 36
RAFE
Two months later
I grip the handles so hard that the edges dig into my skin, even through the foam padding. I think I’m thrusting so hard that the entire wall shakes with each impact of my hips. I can hear Brent. Well, I’m pretty confident I can hear him as I slam into his honey spot over and over again.
There’s a double-edged sword of fucking my man through a glory hole. With only the sensation of my cock in his body when I can’t see or feel him in any other way, it means that this one thing is hypersensitive. That feeling is heightened.
I say I can hear him, but I don’t know if I can. I’ve had him screaming so many times from fucking him the way he likes, it might simply be muscle memory—when I take him like this, Brent goes wild and he screams in pleasure. Those sounds might be in my head.
It’s good. Everything about fucking him like this is so fucking good.
But in opposition, maybe it’s not so good because I can’t see him. I can’t touch him. I can’t kiss him.
I fuck into him until I lose my load. I’m panting once he falls off my cock. I can barely see straight when I stumble my way out from the stalls and down to where Brent will be.
He’s on his hands and knees, his sexy fucking hole dripping with my load. God, is that ever going to be less hot?
Brent looks up at me, and his expression burns into my chest. His smile. The way his eyes twinkle. Knowing that look is only ever for me.
I offer him my hands, and Brent leans back to take them. I haul him to his feet and into my arms. He wraps his around my shoulders, and I pick him up with my hands under his thighs to take him away from the glory holes.
It all started here. When Kapri wanted to do another pre-break glory hole party, I was set to help him set it up again, but I had no intention of participating.
Then I told Brent about it, and he said he wanted to.
It started with a glory hole. He’s convinced it was that moment that changed everything between us.
I might be slightly convinced of that now, too. We arranged it so that we knew where to meet. He squeezed my crown right away, letting me know it’s him. And we’ve been at it for a long fucking time.
While I mean to take us to the lockers so we can get dressed and head back to our room, I find that I’m stopping just beyond one of the orgies and sitting on a chair.
It’s far more cushy than I anticipated, and I sink in.
I mean for him to straddle me, but the chair isn’t set up like that, so Brent turns in my lap so his back is to my chest.
Without discussion, we adjust so I’m back inside his body. I wouldn’t quite call this cock warming because we both move often. We get off often.
Okay, often might not be the right word for it. Not even ‘regularly’ describes our orgasming habits. But my dick is almost always in his ass. We come when we’re there. Otherwise, we simply move together. We kiss. We touch.
Once since we’ve been at school, have we reversed and Brent fucked me like he did at home. But it takes far too long for me to recover, so we’re not doing that again until we’re off campus. Bottoming for me is a vulnerable thing, so I only seem to enjoy it when he tears me apart.
He’s right. It’s the only time I allow all the pressure I’m under to slip away. It leaves me entirely exposed, and I’m glad he said we’re not doing that again on campus. I agree. Even if I feel like I need it sometimes, this isn’t the right environment. It’s not a safe environment for it.
Brent’s head falls back onto my shoulder as he rides my cock. Honestly, I’m rather impressed with both of our sex drives. The fact that I’m still hard enough for him to ride like this even though I got off only minutes ago is impressive. Maybe concerning?
His fingers slide between mine, and for a long time, he just rides me. I kiss his neck, lick along the length of it, enjoying the feel of his pulse against my tongue.
“Love you,” Brent says.
I smile, drag my teeth over his skin, and earn myself a shiver. “Love you.”
A shadow falls over us. I don’t recognize the guy standing there. He’s… good looking. Has a nice dick. “Can I join you?”
I’m reminded of the conversation with Enfield and Xavi about swinging. I wonder what came of that.
“No,” Brent says breathlessly. “Sorry, man.”
The guy tilts his head as he watches us. Did he even hear Brent’s answer? Eventually, he nods. “You two are fucking hot together,” he says before turning and walking away, his hand on his dick.
Brent grins. “He can stick around if he wants to keep saying those things.”
I laugh. With our fingers still linked, I bring my arms around his chest, his tucked under mine, and hold him while we move together.
“Time?” Brent asks.
“Do you feel a watch on my wrist?”
He huffs. “We need to leave by one.”
“Then we should probably get going.”
Neither of us makes any move to speed this up, though. To end it. To change anything about what we’re doing.
There are days when I think all we do is fuck.
There are times when I wonder if this is a relationship at all since it’s so heavily sex.
But then I look at our long text chains that never stop when we’re apart.
I remember waking up in his arms and just lying there for hours.
I remember curling up on the couch to study together or playing video games with our friends.
I remember cooking together in the kitchen.
Sex is prevalent, yes. Very, very frequent in our relationship.
Every time I start to feel the niggling concern that maybe it’s too much, I remember the time I woke up in the bath with Brent and we talked about why I like the borderline CNC and why he likes it.
Yes, it’s sex, but it serves a deeper meaning sometimes.
It forges deeper bonds when there’s only a single person you allow to not only see you that way, but to do that to you.
I remember that maybe what we do takes place in the visible realm, but even now, it feels like an echo of us somewhere else melds together. Maybe our souls are dancing or some shit.
Brent sinks onto my cock with his weight and doesn’t move. We both groan. I listen to the way he breathes as I press him against me.
“We should go,” he repeats.
We should. He’s not wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s already past one.
It’s the start of spring break, and we’re heading north to Oregon to spend it with his uncles. It’ll be the first time he’s visited his uncles since he was a child. He’s nervous.
The topic of family comes up often. We talk about his and we talk about mine. I think he’d benefit from talking to a therapist, but Brent doesn’t want to, and I’m not going to push him. All I’m ever going to do is encourage the relationships with the members of his family that he still talks to.
The first step was his uncles. Mostly because they’re relatively close. We’ll be stopping at the vineyard for a night on the way back. Once we graduate in two months, we’re flying out to Michigan to visit his aunt. On the way back, we’re stopping at a hotel, and he’s going to fuck me blind.
Then we’re going home. To my home. To the house we’ll share as I begin my master’s degree online and Brent begins writing novels for real. We’ll help out on the vineyard and with the business. We’ll spend time with my family. We’ll make frequent visits to his family.
But most of all, we’ll be building our lives together. As much as I’ve feared falling in love with this man, my best friend, I’m so excited for our future together. Already, I feel spoiled waking up to him every morning. I feel so fucking fortunate to get to sleep with him every night.
I love this man with every breath in my body, and sometimes I can’t imagine how fucking blind and ridiculous I’ve been to have never noticed he was always meant to be mine. I’ve always known he was important. That’s not something I ever missed. Somehow, I ignored just how important he was.
If I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s, well, let’s be real. It’s to fucking communicate, right? God, the days we hurt each other, all because we were too afraid to speak about how we felt. What a damn waste.
I’ve also learned to listen to what I’m feeling.
I knew Brent was the most important person in my life outside of my family, and still, somehow, I was so insistent that he needed to remain in that one rigid role.
That’s all he’d ever be. He knew all along that we were destined to be, while I was too stubborn to see it.
“We should go,” Brent says for maybe the eighth time now.
I grin. “Get up, then.”
He whines. “I don’t want to.”
“I hate to point this out, but I’m sure we’ll both get arrested if we try to drive down the highway like this.”
Brent huffs. “Come inside me again,” he says. “Then we’ll go.”
I think I’ve already come three times in the last couple of hours. I’m not sure I can come again on my own.
Something Brent knows because he huffs. Grinning, I nip at his ear. “How about I turn you around, bend you over this chair, and make you come? Hm?”
He shivers. “Yeah. Good compromise, but you best try to come too. I want your babies to drip down my leg.”
“Ew, Brent.”
He’s grinning as he gets to his feet. “Don’t be disturbed. We were designed to shoot babies out of our crotches. You want to ew someone, you best take it up with evolution and the creator. I do wonder how they’ll view your ew-ing what they made.”
I turn him around and get him on the chair on his knees. “I can list a lot of reasons sex at all is kind of ick, right? All these double uses for body parts when they’re not pleasant most of the time is ew.” I line my dick up with his ass and ask, “What comes out of this hole, Brent?”
Before he can answer, I shove my dick back inside him. His high-pitched whine makes me smile. “What comes out of this hole?” I repeat, wrapping my hand around his throat and making his spine curve for me. “What is the primary function of my dick, hm?”
He’s not listening at all now that I’m hitting him just right. His body convulses as I peg his pleasure point on repeat and grip his neck. This is his version of my offline moments.
He can get lost in this pretty easily, which I appreciate, because listening to his sexy sounds is enough to make me forget the weird conversation I was just having. We get lost together in the moment as I fuck him until he’s cross-eyed and coming.
He gets what he wants too. The way he clenches around me has me filling his ass once more. Probably not a lot. I’m not as young as I once was. The thought makes me snort, but even I can feel like that was a half-assed load.
Brent collapses in my arms, and for several minutes, I hold him. With his weight in my arms, I can’t help but feel mostly overwhelmingly sappy feelings. How much I love him. How I can’t wait to experience every little milestone in this life with him. He’s everything. I can’t wait for our future.
Eventually, Brent sighs and gets to his wobbly legs. I always have a very smug grin when he leans heavily on me after fucking. I did that. Yep. I fucked him real good.
Although if anyone should be proud of their fucking prowess, it’s Brent. I’m down for hours when he’s done with me. I imagine I’d be down for days once we get into a position where we can truly let ourselves go.
A thrill of excitement washes over me for that time.
Not just because it’s hot and between us, but because I’ve now tasted what it feels like to shed the weight of all the pressure and expectations I put on myself to live up to the legacy of my family.
Everything feels heavier now. I’m looking forward to the reprieve.
“Oh my god,” Brent mutters. I blink out of my thoughts. “It’s past three!”
“Want to leave tomorrow and go back to fucking?”
His consideration of the suggestion makes me grin. Eventually, he glares at me. “No. We need to leave right now.”
“With my cum dripping from your ass and smelling like a gang bang. Okay.”
Brent sighs heavily. “It’s late,” he says. “And a long drive.”
I stop his hands on the locker and turn him to face me. “They’ll understand if we postpone by a day. They’ll also understand if we get a late start and show up later than we planned. Tell me what you want to do.”
The worry lines on his forehead smooth out. He turns his body the rest of the way so he’s facing me and wraps his arms around me. I hold him close and let him take his time answering.
“This is going to sound cliché and shit, but my brain is still rattling around in my head. I don’t really care what we do right now, Rafe. As long as we do it together.”
“You’re right. Corny as fuck. Say it again.”
He laughs. “I love you,” he whispers. “Maybe I’m nervous, and that’s why I’m considering putting it off.”
“I love you. Your uncles love you, and they want to spend time with you. They aren’t going anywhere, Brent. No one in your life right now, none of your family, none of mine, me—we’re not going anywhere.”
Brent takes a breath. “Thanks.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to take a shower and leave after.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
He smiles, and I’m happy that he looks lighter now when he pulls away to get dressed. Our first of many vacations together began with several orgasms. It can only get better from here. I’m certain.