Chapter 34
River
“Let’s see if Skye’s interested in coming over regularly for Sunday dinner,”
Gabriel says after we drop her off at Caring Souls.
“Short, regular visits will probably be best for her,”
I agree. I didn’t mistake the subtle signs of anxiety she showed on the drive and while at the cottage. Sure, she needs time to get used to the new place, but it’s more than that.
I think Caring Souls is where she belongs now.
The thought isn’t surprising. I’ve been wrestling with it for a long time. What is surprising is the way the words feel on my tongue when I say them out loud.
“Gabriel, she doesn’t belong with me anymore.”
I grip the car door handle, steadying myself as I work through this new territory. “We’ll always be sisters. She’ll forever be greatly important to me. She’ll always be in my life.”
My breathing is normal, in and out, in and out. “But I’m letting go.”
My eyes burn. Those dumb tears. I’ve been dealing with them on the daily, it seems.
But why wouldn’t I? I don’t think I let myself cry enough after losing my parents. And with all the huge changes I’ve been experiencing, it feels good to allow them to come when they need to.
“I’m here for you as you go through that process, River. There will probably be a lot of ups and downs with it.”
“I’m sure there will be. And what about you? Want to talk about how things went down today?”
“I do, but first, can I buy you some food?”
he asks. “I’m starving after all this drama.”
“I’m hungry, too.”
His darkened gaze meets mine before he looks back at the road. “River, will you go on a date with me?”
“’Bout time. We’ve already gotten married and kissed—a lot—and said our I love yous. Might as well back all the way up and get to that basic first date.”
“Oh, there’s nothing basic about it,”
he assures me.
He calls a pizza place in town and places a takeout order. I strongly encourage him to include breadsticks and lemonade, and he does, throwing in some cinnamon bread twists at the last minute. What Longdale lacks in number of good restaurants, they make up for in quality. This pizza’s the best around, and I can’t wait to gorge.
When he misses the turn for Lakeside Road, I hold up a finger. “We’re not going home?”
“I thought we’d have a picnic.”
“Oh, really?”
Which comes out in a purr. I’m aware I’m flirting with my husband and that being around him makes me feel alive and brand new. And at the same time, exactly like myself in ways I’ve never known before.
I’m not prepared when he pulls into my old neighborhood, giant cottonwoods that dwarf the ramblers, where everyone has a unique, sometimes kitschy mailbox. Where I learned to ride a bike, graffitied the sidewalks with chalk, and talked about boys with my friends on trampolines under the stars.
Right before the last turn to my former home, I place my hand on his arm at the stop sign. “Why are we here? I don’t know if my heart can take it right now.”
I’m trying to let go of Skye—a little at a time because, you know, baby steps. And I’m also trying to let go of my dad’s old car. I don’t know about seeing the house that I was forced to give up.
“I had some good news and thought I’d deliver it at your old place.”
“Okay—”
I’m confused but I trust him. And that makes butterflies tickle my insides.
We pull up, the red brick swimming in my vision as I resolve to enjoy my first date. But—“I’ll get the picnic supplies,”
he says before putting the Bronco in Park and hurrying out.
When he comes around to my side of the car, a big blanket and paper products in his arms, I roll down my window.
“I don’t know if we should have a picnic on these people’s lawn, Gabriel.”
I feel my face sliding into a cringe expression.
“I talked to them about it. It’s fine with them. They haven’t even moved in yet.”
“You talked to them? How?”
He deposits the supplies on the grass and then jogs back to the car, opens the back seat and grabs the boxes of food.
I guess we’re actually having a picnic on the front lawn of my childhood home. Huh.
By the time I catch up to him, he’s got the blanket spread out neatly and his face is so full of anticipation, I’ve forgiven him entirely for making me do this. I mean, do I sound ungrateful? I probably do. Because Gabriel is setting up a picnic, being all precise with the paper table settings, fussing over setting the clear plastic glasses just so with his dimples totally involved in the care, is the most tender thing.
I wasn’t into this at first, with the weight of my memories like a fog over me. But now? How can I not be? He’s taking care of me. His gaze flicks to me, wanting my approval without me knowing that’s what he’s asking for.
He gestures for me to sit, so I do, bending my legs and tucking them to the side.
The aroma of the pizza is tantalizing. Heavy with acidic sauce and stringy cheese. He sits. Stretches his long legs past me. Leans back a little on his hands.
“Like I said, I contacted the new owners.”
“Because Tates just seem to know how to get stuff like that done.”
I nod. I need to get used to the go-get-‘em take on life these people have.
It’s intoxicating.
He only gives me a quick smile, his dimples winking at me. “Turns out they weren’t planning on living here full-time. They live in Salt Lake City but wanted to get a place here for when they visit family.”
“I don’t know why that makes me sad, but it kind of does.”
“But, River, they’re willing to negotiate a sell-back arrangement. They’d make a little money in the process. I explained to them how much this place means to you and Skye.”
“Gabriel, wait. They want to sell the house back to me?”
“To us, yeah. We can live here and that way Skye can have her old room back for visits and Lunchie will have plenty of space. And—”
I’m on my knees, my arms flinging around him wildly as I lean in to kiss him. First his forehead, then his collarbone, then his dimples. Before I take his lips in mine, I stare, and his eyes are trained on me, the depths of the blue pulling me in like metal shavings to magnets.
“I am completely blown away right now. But maybe we could take some time to look for a place of our own?”
I swallow away any lingering fears. How can I fear when this man has given me so much care? So much love? “I want to build a life with you, Gabriel, and I want to do it looking forward, not back to the times before. If we lived here, I could see it tethering my heart to the past. As much as I love this old house, we need a fresh start with just us.”
At first, his brows crease together, his gaze sweeping over me. Then, his laugh sparks a smile. “That sounds like the perfect life to me. Us, together, in a place of our own.”
He kisses me, steadily. Thoroughly.