18. Quinn
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
quinn
The noise of little paws skating around on the other side of the door is quickly becoming one of my favorite welcome home sounds.
Home . Huh . That’s new.
My home is due to be ripped apart. This is just temporary , I remind myself. No matter how homey Graham’s apartment feels.
“ I hear you, buddy,” Graham calls as he pulls out his keys.
A little rocket of shiny, brown fur zooms around our feet the moment we walk in.
“ Oh , hello, sweet boy. Did you miss us? Yes , you did,” I coo. As usual, Graham rolls his eyes at the baby talk I use for Curly . He doesn’t know that I’ve caught him on a number of occasions speaking to him in the exact same way when sneaking him treats.
“ I’m gonna jump in the shower. Did you want anything to eat?” he asks as he unties his boots.
“ No , I’m good. I’m pretty beat, so I think I’ll take a shower after you and go to bed.”
“ You go first then. I’m gonna check some emails. ”
After a long, steamy, everything shower, I’m dressed in my pajamas and walking back out into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I’ve just turned the corner when a pair of strong hands catches me by the shoulders before I collide with a wall of muscle.
“ Oops , sorry.”
“ We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Graham jokes.
I chuckle, and when I look up, his short hair appears more brown than blond from his shower.
My eyes are no longer on his hair though.
Ho -ly . Fuck .
Graham is shirtless.
Half nude.
Pecs . A lot of pecs. Well , just two, and there they are. At eye level.
I knew he wasn’t scrawny, but I was unaware how built he is. Thick , defined muscles run across his arms, chest, ribs, and stomach. The hair decorating his chest and taut stomach matches the darker shade of his beard; and adds to his masculinity. A pair of athletic shorts hang low on his hips, and I follow the path of a water droplet until it disappears into the elastic band.
Would it be inappropriate to lick him?
Yes !
“ Yes , what?” he asks.
Great . I just answered my internal ramblings aloud. Graham has hypnotized me with his body and that horniness dilemma from last week is now back in full force.
“ Oh , nothing. Just thinking out loud.” About running my tongue over your abs.
“ Well , I’m gonna head to bed. Do you need anything?”
“ No , wait, yes! To thank you,” I hurry out and catch hold of his wrist before he steps away. “ For today. It was… Graham , it really was amazing. Thank you for sharing it with me and for stepping in when Jo pretended to be sick.”
“ You’re welcome. I’d be happy to ta—what?” His eyes widen.
“ Which part are you confused about?” I tilt my head, a smirk playing on my lips. “ The part about me being thankful, or you colluding with Jo ?”
“ I - I … I literally have no idea what you’re talking about. Jo was so sick. The sickest. It was close for a second…” His head drops with a big sigh. “ You’re not buying any of this are you?”
“ Nope . Nada . Nein .” I shake my head.
“ Fuck . Listen , I can explain.”
I prop my fists on my hips with fake annoyance. “ Oh , please do.”
“ It’s going to sound childish.” He blows out a breath. “ When I heard Jo was taking you to see the leaves change, I got…jealous. I had a whole day planned.”
Oh .
Well , I was not expecting that. I’m not really sure what I was expecting.
Shortly after Graham left the bakery, Jo walked by with Claire . Clearly , she had forgotten about the little white lie she told me that morning, because she waved at me through the window looking healthy as ever. After about five seconds, her waving slowed, eyes widened, before she gripped her throat with a pained look and scurried away.
It was then I suspected all the whispering I heard between her and Graham the other night had something to do with this afternoon’s trip.
“ Why would you be jealous about that?” I ask, genuinely confused at his confession. He’s trying his best to keep eye contact, but I can tell this is making him uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing I want after such an amazing day. “ Actually , forget about it. It doesn’t matter, either way, I had the best time, and I’m so happy I got to experience that with you. I’m gonna go to sleep. See you in the morning.”
I give him a brief smile and turn to head to my bedroom, but his words stop me in my tracks.
“ I wanted to see the prettiest person I’ve ever met, standing and experiencing one of the most outstanding views for the first time. Two beauties in one place. You said today was one for the record books. And I agree. But only because I got to witness you shining bright and beautiful.”
His voice is strong, unwavering.
The beating of his heart is obvious against his naked chest as I face him, and I think mine is pounding twice as fast. “ Graham ,” I breathe. “ You can’t say things like that. I thought we were keeping this strictly platonic. That’s not how friends talk to each other.”
“ Fuck ,” he growls, fingers swiping through his hair. “ I know, but how can I not say it after seeing that enchanting look on your face? I wanted to experience that with you. Today was one of the best days of my life too, but only because you were there with me. Then you told me everything about your mom and I felt like a piece of shit, because I’d tricked you into coming with me. I know I’m screwing everything up and we keep blurring the lines of this agreement. I just had to tell you that.” His shoulders lose some tension, like he’s been holding on to the weight of his lie all day.
It’s a sweet lie. Really sweet.
My lack of response has him shifting on his feet as he scratches the back of his neck. “ I don’t say any of this to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your day out with Jo . Let’s add this to the list of things that never happened.”
I’m not sure I’ll ever forget today or what he just said.
He just told me I’m the prettiest person he’s ever seen. While I don’t really understand why he wouldn’t just ask if he could take me to see the leaves, it doesn’t overshadow what an amazing gesture it is. He bought me my very own pair of yellow rain boots because of a story about me in fifth grade. He only buys me yellow flowers because I told him it’s my favorite color. He unpacked all my belongings to make me feel less sad about my van.
The reason Graham is so quiet, is because he’s been listening intently this whole time and stowing away every detail I tell him.
He steps up to me, and for one second, I think— no, I hope —he’s going to kiss me.
At a glacial pace, he bends down and brushes his lips across my cheek. Far , far away from where I want them to land. “ Goodnight , Quinn ,” he murmurs and then walks to his bedroom.
A wave of disappointment sweeps through me. We keep doing this; setting rules, breaking them, resetting them, and then finding ourselves with our feet raised, ready to cross the line again.
And right now, I have no idea which side we’re standing on.