Chapter 12
Beck
"I thought you might have some insight. I'm trying to figure out where Malcolm is coming from. Why is he so reluctant to consider it?"
"I'm sure he'd never admit it, but it seems like his opinion is the only one that matters, and Mom and Dad trust him."
"You think that he'll shut this down?"
Clara let out a breath. "Malcolm tends to get what he wants. But for what it's worth, I love the idea."
I nodded grimly. "I do too."
"Should we continue our tour?" She stood without waiting for me to respond, as if she was in a rush all of a sudden.
I followed her, throwing the empty cup in the garbage can. "What's the hurry?"
She rolled her eyes. "We need to finish the tour this time."
I touched my hand to my chest. "You don't enjoy my company?"
She carefully avoided my gaze. "We shouldn't drag this out any longer than we have to."
I grinned. "Are you worried about spending more time with me?"
She gave me a look. "No."
I couldn't help but laugh at the idea that she couldn't trust herself around me.
"I'm glad I can amuse you," she mumbled.
I threw an arm over her shoulders, but she remained stiff. "I enjoy your company."
She shrugged me off. "Platonic tour guide. There's no touching."
"I love a good challenge." What was I doing? I shouldn't be dragging this out either. The responsible thing to do was to stay away from her, but apparently, I was incapable of doing that. That was evidenced by the fact that I insisted on another tour.
She pressed her lips together. "You're playing with fire."
I paused and lowered my voice. "You are affected by me. You want a repeat, but you're afraid to admit it."
"So what if I do?" She kept her gaze on the sidewalk in front of us.
I was guessing that was the case, but was she confirming it? "What are you saying?"
Her gaze slowly lifted to meet mine. "I want another night with you, but no one can know about it."
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I wasn't going to say no, but I wanted her to be sure.
She laughed and looked away. "It's a terrible idea, but I'm not sure I care right now."
My focus honed in on her, the way her cheeks flushed and her gaze was steady on mine. "Is there anything else I need to see in town?"
"Nope," she said, licking her lips.
I pulled out my phone and texted her the address. "I'll meet you at the cabin."
She hesitated. "We can't be seen together anymore."
"Absolutely." I'd agree to anything if I could get her alone again.
"See you later," she said moving in the direction of her car.
I watched as she walked away and then moved toward my rental. I'd had to return the motorcycle. The weather wasn't ideal for riding one this time of year.
My heart rate kicked up as soon as I turned on the engine and pulled from the curb.
She could still back out. She might change her mind and drive home.
I was prepared for either scenario. I almost couldn't believe this was happening.
That we were meeting at the cabin for another round.
I'd dreamed about it, but I didn't think it would really happen.
Clara was too practical for a fling. I figured she considered the one-night stand a mistake. I wondered why she changed her mind. Maybe she didn't want a relationship, and she was fine with a short affair.
I pulled into my lane and parked next to her. When I got out, she was already standing next to her SUV. "You didn't change your mind."
She raised a brow. "Did you think I would?"
I chuckled. "Yes."
She chewed her lip as we walked toward the porch. "I still don't think this is wise."
"It's a terrible idea," I agreed.
She stepped onto the porch. "But I want you. I want this."
I couldn't get the key in the lock quickly enough. The door swung open, and she moved past me. As soon as I stepped inside, I shut the door with my foot and dropped the key on the entryway table.
Cupping her cheeks, I told her, "There's no turning back.
You know I can't offer you anything more.
I'm going to leave eventually." Probably sooner rather than later.
I had an end date of getting out of town before Christmas Day.
I refused to intrude on the Hart's family get-togethers any more than I already had.
She swallowed hard. "I know."
"As long as you're okay with that." I needed to ensure that we were on the same page.
She gripped my forearms, a challenge flashing in her eyes. "I'm wondering when you're going to stop talking and kiss me."
With a growl, I dropped my lips to hers.
They parted for me, and my tongue swept inside.
It was like coming home. Everything I remembered about our first night together was accurate.
Fireworks were exploding in my head from this one kiss.
My heart was racing, and my body was overheated.
I needed to be inside her, but I also wanted to slow down and savor every minute together. Who knew how much time we had?
I lifted her, pressing her back against the front door, grinding my cock against her center. She gasped at the sensation, and her head fell back.
Her shoes hit the floor with a thud.
I kissed her neck, and she trembled in my arms.
I wanted to spread her out on the bed, slowly undress her, and savor her naked body. I couldn't do what I wanted with her pressed against the door like this. I managed to bite out, "Bed," before I lifted her again, carrying her up the stairs to my bedroom.
When we got to the king-size bed, I carefully lowered her, following her down. "I need you to be naked."
I felt for the zipper on her dress and tugged. Then she helped me remove it. As soon as it was gone, I went for her tights. Finally, when she was naked and sprawled on my bed, I started unbuttoning my white shirt.
She tracked my movements, her tongue darting out to lick her lips.
I moved more quickly, stumbling over the plastic buttons. When the shirt was finally free, I shoved it off, letting it drop behind me. The belt was next. Then the pants.
When my cock sprung free, her lips parted.
"You want to taste me?"
She nodded slowly, her gaze fixated on my pulsing dick.
I reached for her, and she took my hand, moving to kneel on the bed. She gripped the base of my cock.
I bit my lip, wondering how I was going to maintain control if her hands and mouth were on me and she was on all fours, her ass in the air. This was the perfect position, and all I could think about was spilling down her throat.
She licked the tip, and then sucked me deep, her cheeks hollowing out with her movements. It was like all the cells had been wiped from my brain. I couldn't think about anything other than how she was making me feel.
I was supposed to be making her feel good, but I couldn't resist letting her work me over for a few seconds. Then I tapped her shoulder. "I need to be inside you now."
Her cheeks flush, she asked, "How do you want me?"
What a question. On her back so I could spread her legs wide? Or on her knees so I could enter her from behind? "On your back, legs spread."
She immediately complied, falling to her back on my bedspread, widening her legs. Her pussy was glistening in the moonlight.
"You're gorgeous."
She arched a challenging brow. "Are you going to touch me?"
I dropped to my knees and pulled her down the bed until her legs were dangling next to my shoulders. I parted her folds and leaned in to breathe in her sweet scent. I licked her lightly, and her thighs trembled.
Her hand landed in the strands of hair at the back of my head as if she was holding me to her. As if I was leaving anytime soon. I used my fingers to part her folds and eased one inside her.
She moaned long and deep, and I sucked her swollen nub.
She wanted this. She wanted me. Despite my hang-ups and my association with her brother. I knew I didn't fit into her family or her world, but for tonight, I could have her.
My heart skipped a beat at the thought of taking this further. Of more nights out on the town, eating dinner, or just admiring a Christmas tree, and the prickles of panic formed at the base of my spine.
Never get too close to anyone. You couldn't rely on anyone, no matter what they said.
How many times had a foster family said they wanted to adopt me and my siblings, only for the county to return us to my parents again? Sure, my parents loved us in their own way, but it was no substitute for the love of an involved, attentive parent.
I pushed aside the thoughts and redoubled my efforts to make her feel good. I shouldn't be thinking about anything other than giving her pleasure. So much that she never forgot me when I was gone. I'd ruin her for all other men.
I eased a second finger inside her and sucked hard on her clit, and she pressed her thighs against my ears, arching her back off the bed. I eased her through her orgasm and then stood, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.
"Hands and knees," was all I said as she scrambled to comply.
She was eager to feel me inside her after that orgasm. I grabbed a condom from my wallet and smoothed it over my length. Then I stepped close and angled the tip at her sweet center. "You're so beautiful like this."
She trembled, her body dying to feel me.
I gripped her hip with one hand and the base of my dick with the other, entering her slowly, relishing every inch that I moved inside her.
When I was fully seated, she dropped to her forearms, relinquishing all control. I began to move, slow at first. Then I picked up the pace when she pushed back onto me. She was wild, just as into this as I was.
Her legs trembled, and she cried out as the orgasm hit her for a second time. The spasms drew mine to the surface, and I thrust one more time deep and let go.
I rested my weight on her back, waiting for my heart rate to return to normal. I eased out of her, and she dropped to the bed on her belly. I took care of the condom and grabbed a washcloth, running it under warm water before returning to the bedroom to clean her.
When I was done, I threw it aside, aiming for the hamper but not caring that I missed. I eased under the blankets, and she moved to join me.
She rested her head on my shoulder, and I stared at the ceiling. I was tired, as if I'd run a marathon, but all I'd done was have sex with her.
I ran my hand over her back, and she pressed more closely against me. "No regrets?"
"No," she said softly.
"I want to do this again."
She kissed my chest, and I should have protested. We shouldn't be cuddling in bed or talking about doing anything again. But it felt too good to hold her in my arms. So I didn't say anything else, and I waited for her breath to even out.
She was asleep.
Would she slip out in the night again? Would she run away because she had regrets, or would she stay?
I wanted to ask her to stay but I didn’t. The fear of her saying no was too strong. I'd asked for things over the years, and the rejection was fresh in my mind. It didn't matter what I wanted; I usually couldn't have it when it came to relationships and people.
That's why I stuck to business deals. The parameters were clearly marked, and I knew exactly what to expect. If I was careful, it didn't get messy.
This arrangement with Malcolm and his family had the potential to get complicated, especially with Clara in the mix.
I was playing with fire, but I couldn't seem to pull myself back from the flames. I'd made sure we were on the same page. She didn't want a commitment or a relationship either. And she knew I was leaving. No matter what, I wouldn't be living in Colorado.
There was nothing for me here. I could visit from time to time to check on the business if I agreed to be involved, but I didn't have to be close. Even if my heart was tripping over itself, needing something more.
When had that ever worked out? I'd let myself dream about getting a new family, but the system worked against us.
She wouldn't want to hear about my upbringing. It would only make her feel things she didn't want to deal with. And I certainly didn't want to be pitied or looked down upon. That's why I'd buried myself in work. No one could penetrate my walls. Not even Clara Hart.
I should stay away from her entirely. Ignore the draw and the impulse. But I was powerless to say no when it came to her. I fell deeper every minute we spent together. I didn't know what that meant. But I stuck to my initial intention; I had to walk away.
There was no reason to stay. Besides, if her brothers found out, that would be the end of us and my friendship with them. The family wouldn't look at me the same again.
It felt good to be respected. But if they knew what I'd done, their feelings about me would change. I couldn't risk it.
I should say no to the business offer and get out of town as soon as possible. But Rowan's idea was a good one, and I wanted to explore it.
For the first time in a long while, I was excited at the prospect of a new project. And a part of me wondered if Clara was the draw.
I'd enjoy being with her now, storing the memories in a box deep in my brain, only to be revisited when I'd moved onto the next city, the next project. I couldn't stay. No matter how I felt or what I wanted. It never worked out for me in the end. And it wouldn't this time either.