Chapter 21
Oliver
Climbing out of the shower after a long day at work and a gruelling session at the gym, I wrap a towel around my waist and saunter towards my bed. I pick up my phone and note that Darius still hasn’t responded to my last message.
The last few weeks have been amazing. Darius went to his father’s place in Birmingham for Christmas Day and I worked a double shift at Bar La Vella.
When he returned on Boxing Day, we met up at Caiden’s place to feed Ford while Caiden and Jamie were away in Devon, before heading into London to wander around.
I worked the days between Christmas and New Year, on a project that needed to be completed before the end of the year, but saw Darius as often as I could.
On New Year’s Eve, I went to his party, then home with him, and only left – rather reluctantly – when I had to return to work three days into the new year.
I made love to him in the morning, soft and sweet, before the sun rose, then kissed him goodbye with a promise to see him later in the day.
That was two days ago – when he’d messaged to cancel our plans, saying he wasn’t feeling well and that it was best I stayed at mine. I offered to go over and take care of him, but he said he needed to rest.
I didn’t push. As much as I want to cling to him endlessly, I know I need to give him space when he says he needs it. But in the time since he’s only replied to a few of my messages, and I am starting to worry that whatever made him ill is serious.
There’s a store on the corner of my road that sells homemade soups, and I decide that once I’m dressed, I’ll stop in and pick some up and drop it at his place. Even if he isn’t up for visitors, I can leave it with the concierge.
I also have a gift to give him. The day before his birthday, while we were browsing a market in London, I had this idea for a gift I wanted to make him.
I needed a few tools from work to complete it, so it’s a little late for his birthday, but I finally finished it during my lunch break, and now it’s sitting on my bedside table.
The small penguin is around eight centimetres tall, sculpted from a soft butternut wood and finished with a wax polish.
I’ve left the wood its natural golden brown, only painting the small heart the penguin is holding between its flippers a soft purple.
It’s the smallest, most detailed item I’ve ever crafted, and I’m really proud of how it turned out. I know he’ll love it.
Not expecting anyone over this evening, I’m surprised when there’s a knock on my door as I’m stepping into a pair of black athletic shorts.
“One second,” I shout, hastily pulling a t-shirt over my naked torso. When I open the door, a smile graces my face and my heart beats faster at the sight of the man standing on my tattered old welcome mat.
“Hi,” Darius says. There’s a tentative grin on his face, but he looks tired, his eyes dull and his skin pale.
“Hi, angel,” I say, pulling him into my arms. I can’t help breathing in the scent of his warm skin. He sinks into my embrace as I kiss his cheek. “I’ve missed you. How are you feeling?”
“Better now,” he replies, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. I place a hand at the top of his spine, then slide it into his hair and use my grip to tilt his head back so we’re eye to eye.
“Come inside? We can watch whatever crappy show your heart desires.”
That gets a smile out of him, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. There’s a twisting sensation in my gut that I ignore as I take his hand and lead him inside, kicking the door shut behind us.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask, leading Darius over to the sofa.
“I’m fine.” His words are clipped, and the feeling in my gut ramps up to full-on discomfort. He takes off his coat and lays it over the back of the sofa. “Really, I feel better now that I’m here.” His eyes dip to my lips. “And it’s not contagious if you want to kiss me.”
I’ve missed him too much to wait another minute, so I do just that, slanting my mouth over his. Darius parts his lips, and my tongue slips inside, my body reacting to the taste and feel of him. He kisses me back, hunger in the ferocity with which he takes control.
When I pull away, we’re both breathless, and I’m happy to see there’s a little more colour in his cheeks.
“How was your day?” Darius asks.
“It was good. Zander gave me those details for the company’s private healthcare, and I called them. They’re sending over a referral to a therapist.”
“That’s great. I’m proud of you.” He kisses my cheek.
“I haven’t done much yet, but it’s a start.”
“Yeah, it is.” Darius looks around the small space before saying, “Sit with me for a moment?” He gestures to the sofa, but before he sits, I remember the present I have for him.
“Yes, definitely. But hold on. I have a gift for you.” I steal another taste of his lips. “Wait here.”
I leave Darius standing next to the sofa and cross the small space to the area cornered off as my bedroom. Picking the penguin up, I tuck it behind my back and then return to stand in front of him.
“Happy birthday,” I say, bringing my hand forward and opening my palm.
Darius releases a puff of air, his eyes suddenly glistening as he looks from me to the penguin and back up again.
“It’s perfect,” he whispers, taking the wooden ornament from my hand. “Did you make this?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
A tear rolls down his cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb. I expected him to like it, but I wasn’t expecting this reaction.
“I love it.” He holds it against his chest.
“I love you,” I reply.
Darius doesn’t speak, and I watch as his throat works before he gently places the penguin down on the coffee table, takes my hand and guides me silently towards my bed. When we’re at the foot of it, Darius angles his body towards mine, then moves so our chests are pressed together.
“Make love to me,” he whispers, his lips hovering over mine.
I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.
Without words, I cup his cheek, close my mouth over his and carefully work his t-shirt up, only breaking the kiss to pull the fabric over his head.
Then we’re kissing again and he’s touching me everywhere, like he’s trying to map every line and curve of my body.
His fingers dance along my hips before he’s tugging at my shorts, his hands trembling as he tries to get them down.
With my hands over his, I help him push the fabric down, then remove my t-shirt. Darius steps back, his eyes roving over my naked body.
“You’re so beautiful, Ollie.” The compliment and the hunger in his expression make my skin heat, and a flush spread from my neck to my cheeks and ears.
I loop a finger into the waistband of his jeans and drag him forward, our lips meeting in another hungry kiss.
Darius’s hands roam over my shoulders and down my back as I strip him of his jeans and the lacy fabric beneath.
“On the bed, babygirl.” Sliding my leg between his, I nudge Darius back until his back hits the mattress.
Then I crawl over him, settling between his legs.
Trailing a kiss down his neck, I pay attention to his collarbone, nipping and sucking at his skin until he’s covered in pink and purple marks, all the while working my hand up and down his shaft.
“Ollie,” he whimpers, thrusting his hips into my hold.
“I’ve got you.”
Spreading Darius’s legs, I lift them and place his feet on the comforter. His hooded eyes lock onto mine, and I hold his gaze as I sink down so that my stomach meets the bed. With my nose to his soft skin, I part his ass cheeks, breathe in his scent, then lave my tongue through his crack.
“Fuck!” he moans, and I do it again and again, spearing my tongue into his hole and lapping up his musky flavour.
Darius moves one hand to his cock, and the other he winds tightly into my hair.
He uses his grip to drag me back up his body, and I kiss him, swiping my tongue inside his mouth and listening to him groan as he gets a taste of himself.
“Need you.” His breath is hot against my lips, and I pull away briefly to reach for the bottle of lube I keep in my top drawer.
I coat two fingers in the cool liquid, then make quick work of stretching his already soft hole before coating my cock.
Darius lifts his legs and I drape them over my shoulder as I sit back on my knees.
I watch intently as the head of my cock breaches his tight ring of muscle. Darius hisses at the initial contact, but as I feed another inch into his hot, tight body, he relaxes, a keening whimper falling from his lips.
“You should see this. We’re a perfect fit.”
With slow movements, I pull all the way out and then rock my hips and slide back in. I repeat the motion a few times, Darius gripping the sheets between tight knuckles, my name falling from his lips.
Pleasure builds, a simmer of heat at the base of my spine, and I slow down, shallowing my movements. I manoeuvre Darius’s legs back onto the bed before blanketing his body with mine, pressing my cock deep inside. I rest my forehead on his and look into his eyes as we make love.
Slow and sweet.
There’s this sensation in my body that isn’t entirely physical – a bubbling of happiness that cannot be contained by the organ pumping fiercely in my chest. It spreads through me like liquid heat.
“I love you,” I whisper. “You’re my everything, angel.” His blue eyes glisten before he’s squeezing them shut, tears tracking down the sides of his face.
I pause my movements and pull up to get a better look at him. He’s shaking his head on the pillow, his face wet and his chest quaking like he’s holding in a sob.
“D?”
He shakes his head again and opens his eyes. I don’t like what I see, and when he speaks, I know why.
“We can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He pushes at my chest, hands clapping against my skin. I pull out, shooting back to sit on my knees at the end of the bed as he moves to sit up.
My pulse ticks up, fear washing over me like a crashing wave.
“Did I hurt you?”
“I’m sorry.” Darius climbs off the bed and frantically tries to find his clothes.
For some reason, I feel the need to cover my dick with the blanket, this rush of vulnerability hitting me out of nowhere.
“Darius, please talk to me. What’s happening?”
He finally finds his jeans and pulls them on. Then he’s looking at me and he’s crying so hard I can barely make out his words.
“We can’t. We can’t be together anymore.”
All the blood drains from my body, and I’m certain a crack forms across my heart.
“What? Why?” I’m on my feet in a heartbeat, stumbling as I search for my shorts and step into them.
“I can’t…I’m sorry. I truly am.”
This can’t be happening. We were fine. Better than fine, we were fucking incredible and now…
“Please, at least tell me why. Whatever it is, we can fix it. I’m not giving up on us. I fucking love you!”
He shakes his head, looking down at his bare feet. I reach for him, but he shrugs me away, and I drop my hands to my sides.
“I need you to let me go, Oliver.” His words are barely audible, a soft, sorrow-filled plea. “Let me go, please.”
“Not without a bloody explanation!”
Fear and hurt whir into anger, and I clench my hands into tight fists.
Darius doesn’t look at me when he delivers the blow that destroys my world.
“There’s someone else.”
No.
“You’re lying!” He has to be. This can’t be real. “No. I asked you. I asked you if you were seeing someone else and you said no.”
Finally, he looks up. “I lied.” Those two words cut like a knife.
“When? We’re always together.” I shake my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“You have to, Ollie, because it’s true. We can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry.”
He cheated. I’m not enough for him. It was all a big fucking lie. The pain is too much to bear, so I do the only thing I know how to do to protect myself. I put up my walls.
“Get out.”
Darius opens his mouth to speak, but I turn away and march into the lounge. I pick up his coat from the back of the sofa and throw it at him.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
He moves slowly through the flat, and I breathe through the anguish as he picks up the penguin I made him.
“I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” Darius opens the door and steps out.
“And yet you did. I fucking trusted you, Darius. Even though I knew this would happen because it always does, I thought you were different. But you’re not. I fucking hate you.”
With that, I slam the door and crumple to the floor, my heart in shattered ruins.