Chapter 22
Darius
I’m a liar. That’s who I am now.
I lied to Caiden when he called me a few days after my birthday – after I’d made the deal with Floyd.
I’d put on my most convincing voice when I told him I went on another date set up by my father and then told him that Oliver and I were nothing more than a casual hookup.
The lie tasted bitter on my tongue – but what choice did I have?
I’m going to tell my best friend that in less than two months, I’m marrying a man he’s never heard of.
And I’ll need him to believe it’s real. There’s too much riding on this sham marriage.
In the moment, it felt like the easiest thing to do was to downplay my feelings for Oliver and try to get Caiden to believe that nothing has changed in my dating life.
I don’t know that he believed me, especially since his parting words were to warn me that someone was going to end up getting hurt.
If only he knew how true his words turned out to be.
Not only did lying to Caiden make me feel physically ill, the ache from what I did to Oliver has me barely able to function.
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Breathing feels like a chore.
I know in my heart that he would never have let me go, not if he knew the truth, so I did the only thing I could think to do – pushed him away with the force of his fear of rejection.
The look on his face will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I hate myself for all of it.
I sent him a message after, telling him how sorry I am, but it remains undelivered. I can only presume he’s blocked my number.
As for my father, I haven’t spoken to him in the two weeks since he tore my world to shreds.
I could have been selfish and said no. Could have watched Floyd destroy him – and I have no doubt the guy would have done just that.
But at the end of the day, my father is the only family I have, so there was never really a choice.
The sins of the father and all that.
I must be staring off into space again, because I startle, my muscles jerking to awareness when a pile of hideous orange cards lands on the table in front of me.
“Make sure to give those to your friends,” Floyd commands, looming over me.
Picking up the cards, I take in the details on them, including the roses bordering the words. I hate roses. But how would Floyd know that? We don’t know each other. I doubt he’d even care.
“No. I’m not inviting my friends.” I stand and thrust them back at him.
He steps up to me and grabs my chin, his fingers digging painfully into the skin. I try to shake out of his grip, but he’s holding me too tightly.
“Don’t for a second think that my grandmother and her bloodhound lawyers won’t be sniffing around this union, trying to catch us in a lie.”
One thing I’ve learned about my husband to be – besides the fact that he’s a narcissistic asshole – is that he’s unbearably paranoid.
Especially where his inheritance is concerned.
Though he seemed in control in my father’s office that day, his facade slips when we’re alone.
He’s convinced his grandmother is going to call bullshit on our marriage and somehow get his share of the money donated to charity.
For that reason, making this marriage believable has become his number one concern.
It’s also the reason he wouldn’t hold off until after the wedding for us to move in together – because why wait when we’re so in love?
“Do you think she won’t ask questions if my fiancé doesn’t have a single person sitting on his side at the wedding?” He squeezes me a little tighter, and I can’t help the wince that passes my lips.
“They won’t believe it,” I say through clenched lips.
“Then make sure they do. I swear, Darius, if you mess this up for me, you and your father will be sorry.”
Floyd releases me and pushes the cards into my chest. I cover them with my hand, watching as he storms out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.
I’m sitting at the dining table of the penthouse that is due to become my new home.
The one we will be ‘cohabiting’ in for the next two years.
It’s one of my father’s properties and I’m grateful for it because I refuse to let Floyd into my place.
There are too many good memories in my home to let them be tarnished by this man.
I look at the invitations in my hand, then close my eyes and let the tears that I’ve been keeping in all day fall. After a few minutes, I dry my eyes, stand and head to the kitchen.
Nothing in this place belongs to me – it’s devoid of anything that resembles me or that I even live here.
Sighing, I grab my coat and my keys, head down to the lobby, and make my way by cab to my place. I greet the concierge as I walk in, stopping to remove everyone from my approved guest list, then take the lift to the place I call home.
I know it’s not possible, but I can smell Oliver in this space, can picture him on my sofa, his feet up on the table, rolling his eyes at my attempt to get him to love true crime shows as much as I do.
I see all of him here.
His smile.
His laugh.
The way he made me feel loved and cared for.
My eyes land on the little sea bird he carved for me. It’s sitting on the shelf, next to a selfie that Oliver and I took the night we made love in The Vista. I cross the room and pick up the photo, tracing Ollie’s face with my fingertip.
“I love you.” It’s a pointless declaration now. I lost the right to love him when I broke his heart.
There’re boxes piled up against the wall, and as I move through my apartment, I make a mental note of the few things I’ll take with me into my new life. There’s not much. A few of my favourite soft cushions, the odd photo. In my study, I settle on my haunches in front of Norman’s aquarium.
“Ready to see your new home, buddy?” He swims away from the glass, ducking into the hollowed out driftwood at the far side of his aquarium. “Yeah, me neither. Two years, okay? It’s not that long.”
And now I’m lying to my fish.
And myself.
The buzzer connected to the concierge desk rings, and I leave the study to answer it.
“There’s a Caiden Carrington here to see you,” Sasha, the concierge on duty says.
Fuck. I wasn’t ready to see him. Not yet. Not until I had a watertight story – if that’s even possible. Caiden knows me far too well to believe the bullshit I’m about to feed him.
“Let him up,” I say with a resigned sigh.
My palms are clammy and I rub them on my jeans, waiting at the entryway to my penthouse. When the lift doors open, Caiden and Jamie both step out, hand in hand.
They look happy and as if I’m not already the worst fucking friend in the world, I’m hit with a wave of jealousy too.
“You removed my access to your place?” Is the first thing Caiden says when he sees me.
I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah, I removed everyone.”
He narrows his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. Jamie and Caiden follow me into the lounge.
“Did we have plans today?” I ask, trying for nonchalant but failing miserably as my voice wobbles.
“No. But you haven’t answered my calls or texts in a few days. I was worried.”
“Sorry.” I wring my hands in front of me. “I’ve been busy.”
It’s Jamie who speaks next.
“Are you moving?” I follow the line of his sight to the boxes piled against the wall.
Blowing out a breath, I spin on my heels until I’m facing both of them.
Tears burn at the backs of my eyes and I blink them away.
“Yes.”
“But you love this place,” Caiden replies.
I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to lie to their faces. It was somewhat easier to lie to my best friend over the phone. Now he’s looking at me with gentle blue questioning eyes and I know I can’t do it.
“I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to not ask any questions, okay?”
Concern crosses Caiden’s features and he takes a step closer to me.
“What’s wrong? And don’t say you’re fine ‘cause I can see you’re not.” Digging in my back pocket, I pull out one of the crumpled invitations and hand it over to him. His eyes widen and he looks up at me, concern replaced with confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m getting married.”
Caiden hands the invitation to Jamie and he gives me an equally confused look.
“I can see that,” Caiden says. “But who is Floyd, and why? Look, I know you said you and Oliver were only hooking up, but I never believed you, and now this? What the fuck is going on?”
The mention of Oliver has my heart squeezing to the point I need to rub at the physical burn in my chest.
“I can’t tell you. Please, babe, please just accept it.”
“Darius, this is ridiculous! And no, I won’t fucking accept it.”
“Caiden,” Jamie says, his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He looks between the two of us.
“No! I’m sorry, but you’re telling me you’re marrying some guy I’ve never heard you mention before and you want me to accept it? Not ask questions?”
The tears I’d been holding back escape, and I brush them away hurriedly with the back of my hand.
Caiden is pulling me into a hug within seconds and I lose the battle, the tears falling harder and faster than I can bat them away.
“Remember what a pain you were when I was all in my feelings about Jamie? You listened to me and were the best mate I could have asked for. Let me be the same for you. Talk to me, D.”
“I love him,” I cry, burying my head into Caiden’s black hoodie.
“This Floyd guy?”
“No. Oliver. I love him and I broke his heart. I lied, we were so much more than a hookup.”
Caiden pulls back to look at me and I step out of his hold.
“Then why are you marrying this guy?” An unknown expression crosses my best friend’s face and I see the moment the realisation hits him. “This has something to do with your dad, doesn’t it?”
Floyd said no one can know the truth, but maybe I can trust Caiden. Maybe I don’t have to shoulder this alone. I nod.
“Fuck him,” Caiden says. “You don’t have to do this.”
“It’s not as simple as that,” I say, my voice gravelly.
“The fuck it isn’t. You’re an adult with autonomy, you don’t have to marry the man your father picks for you. Jesus, I knew you didn’t think he would approve of Oliver, but this is another level of messed up.”
“If I tell you the truth, I need you to promise me you won’t say anything to anyone. Especially not Ollie. Please, Caiden. I’ve never asked anything of you. I need this.”
He shakes his head, but Jamie says, “We promise.” That earns a scowl from Caiden, but he eventually nods in agreement.
And then I tell them all of it. From the fraud to the blackmail to breaking Ollie’s heart.
I’m hyperventilating by the time I get the full story out and I crouch down and take in deep breaths, trying to steady myself.
“Fuck,” Caiden replies, blowing out a breath. He paces around the living space, stopping at the shelf where I’ve left the photo of me and Oliver. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”
Once I’m sure I won’t collapse, I straighten. “If it was you, and Jamie was in this same situation, would you have let him go if you knew the truth?” The two boyfriends share a look.
Caiden is quick to reply. “Definitely not. I’d have fought for Jamie and blown that blackmail into the open. Fuck Floyd and his inheritance.”
He seems so sure of his answer, but at my next question, I see his certainty drop.
“Even if it cost your father his freedom? You’d have picked the man you love over your family?”
Caiden drops his gaze to his feet. “Bloody hell, D. I…I don’t know what I would have done. Jamie is my entire world, but my dad…” He looks at Jamie, who smiles softly, pulls him into his side and kisses his temple.
“I don’t know what I would have done either,” Jamie says. “I’m glad we don’t have to make the choice, and I’m sorry you had to.”
“It’s just two years. It’ll go by fast,” I say, knowing I don’t sound convincing. “Oliver will forgive me, won’t he?” There’s hope in my voice that has no place being there.
Caiden shakes his head. “I don’t know, babe. I think if you’re going to go through with this, you’re going to need to let him go.”
A sob breaks from my chest and I wrap my arms around myself, hot tears streaming down my face. Caiden is right. From here on out, Oliver is no longer mine. He may always be the love of my life, but he’s no longer my future.
In this lifetime and the next. Though I know nothing about parallel universes, I hope there is one in which we are happy.
“Do me one more favour, please. Take care of him.” Jamie opens his mouth and I hold up my hand. “He doesn’t have anyone else. Please.”
“I doubt he’ll want to be around us, but we’ll do what we can,” Caiden says, and it’s that knowledge that Oliver will have someone that I cling to later that day as I pack up my boxes and say goodbye to this chapter of my life.