Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
Michael
Stay tuned because I have found out the truth, and you are not going to believe what I have in store for you. Keep an eye out, because in the coming days you will see the truth for what it is!
Michael had never been so torn in his life. In this moment he wanted nothing more than to take his Pixie in his arms and never let her go, but he also wanted to get on the jet and fly to Ohio so he could murder that man with his bare hands. The thing was, he knew that wouldn’t help her, and she needed him more now than he needed vengeance, so it would have to wait.
“Do you know what happened to him?” He couldn’t help the anger he heard seeping through into his voice. He was staying as calm as he could, but the thought of anyone hurting his woman made him murderous.
“Honestly, I never wanted to know. However, I did ask my mother, but she refused to answer, so I have no idea.” She shrugged as if trying to look more casual than he knew she felt.
“You are a survivor, my love. None of what that man did to you was your fault.”
“There is more I need to tell you before we’re finished,” she said, her tears continuing to flow unchecked.
“As ashamed as I am to admit it, part of that gossip article was the truth. When I left, I did go a little crazy. I experimented a lot because first and foremost, I wanted to get my own power back. I wanted to go to sleep at night without feeling his hands on me, so I figured it would be better to let it be someone else’s.” She looked away from him, shame written all over her face.
“It wasn’t too long before I found the scene and began experimenting with BDSM. Yes, I had safe words, but I refused to use them. More than once in clubs in Europe, Jamie had to safeword for me because I simply ignored limits and pushed as far past them as I could. I honestly think at that time I was punishing myself, so at least then it wasn’t about enjoyment for me, it was about punishing myself for what I’d done wrong in the past.”
“I understand that feeling, but again, you are not the one who deserves punishment. I need you to understand that.” He started to feel concern that their relationship was not based on love and pleasure as he’d always thought.
“There was no line I would not cross, no boundaries I set for myself. It has been a long time since I have had a heavy impact scene like we had this morning, but they used to be part of my regular play. Canes and whips were part of my must have list when looking for a play partner. But I need you to hear me out, please.” She squeezed his hand and looked back at him square in the eyes.
He nodded back allowing her to continue.
“Our play gives me nothing but joy. I did wonder what my headspace would be like after our scene this morning knowing you were going to use the whip. As I knelt by the bed, that was what my mind kept wandering back to. Would I be able to handle it, or would I be like a junkie looking for a fix?” She actually giggled at that which brought a smile to his face.
“How did you feel about the punishment this morning?” He hated to refer to it as a punishment considering the topic of the conversation, but that was what it had been, so he felt it was important to be straightforward.
“I stopped punishing myself in that way a long time ago. What you did this morning was the first time I have actually had a true punishment using a whip that was not by my own design. It felt kind of cathartic. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to use it again within the parameters we set in our relationship.”
She climbed into his lap, sitting with her legs wrapped around his waist. “I never meant to hide this from you. The truth is I wanted to hide from myself. That is why I never talk about it. Can you forgive me?”
“Oh, Pixie, of course but you need to know there is nothing to forgive. You are my heart, and if you feel that you need forgiveness, then it is yours. But hear me now, you were only doing what you needed to do to protect yourself, and I don’t feel that you have done anything in need of forgiveness.”
He took her mouth in a searing kiss. It was the kind of kiss that showed his ownership of her. She was his, no matter what had happened in the past, and no matter what it took, he was going to make her understand what that meant.
When he leaned away, he asked, “Now, tell me about the women in the diner.” He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like what she was about to tell him any more than he had the rest of the story, but they needed to have all the cards on the table so he could figure out how to help her through her anxiety and whatever else seemed to be going on.
“When I left this morning, it was because I was upset about an article that had been posted on-line about me, about my past. It was on a gossip site and basically calls me out for being a whore and has several quotes from men that I have supposedly been with.” She leaned back, trying to remove herself from his lap, but he held on, not allowing her to go.
“I need you to stay right where you are, Pixie. Don’t try to move again,” he ordered. Michael thought for a moment. “Wait, how did you know there was an article on-line? Where did you find it?” he asked fearing he already knew the answer.
“I know you said not to bring my phone, but I needed it. I have to be able to talk to Jamie, and you were bringing me out here in the middle of nowhere, so I snuck it in my bag. I saw it this morning.” Her words came out in a rush the way she often did when she was hoping he would miss the point of what she was saying.
“So, you deliberately disobeyed a direct order given to you which was only given for your benefit, am I hearing you correctly?” Michael kept his voice even, though he felt anything but calm. He would deal with this, but he needed to hear everything before he could react.
“I did, and I’m sorry. I really am.”
“You will be. You know we will have to deal with this, but right now, I want to hear about what happened this morning in Porter’s Corner.”
“I went to calm down. I was feeling trapped and started to panic, so when I saw the keys in the truck, I didn’t think, I just got in it and started to drive. Once I got to the diner, I ordered breakfast and realized what I’d done and how bad it could be, so I was going to leave as soon as I ate.”
“So where do the two women come into the picture then?”
“I was leaving when I was stopped by the younger woman. She is the gossip reporter who has been basically stalking me and writing all kinds of terrible things about me, but I didn’t know why, so I was trying to figure out her angle when we were joined by the other woman.”
Her body language changed when she started speaking of the second woman, with her shoulders hunched, her teeth clenched. As much as the reporter had upset her, it was the other person who seemed to be the driving force behind her feelings.
“Pixie, who is she?”
“As soon as she approached the table I knew right away. I haven’t seen her face in eleven years, but she hasn’t changed a bit. It was my mother.” Her lip quivered with the admission. “And it turns out the reporter that has been going after me is my baby sister. I didn’t recognize her because the last time I saw her she was ten years old.”
Michael took a moment to process everything she was saying. This was a seriously fucked up situation. “And you didn’t reach out to them to let them know where you were?”
“No. The thing I don’t know is how they found me. They must have people looking out and calling when they see me, I’ve had paparazzi in the past who have worked that way.”
“When I walked into that restaurant, you were crying. I saw it from across the room.”
“I don’t know how to tell you other than to just come out and say it. They’re blackmailing me. My mother said if I don’t pay her five million dollars, they’re going to release another story, but it will be so much worse. They aren’t just going to ruin my life, but yours as well.”
When she finally had everything out, she broke down and started to sob. Michael drew her in and hugged her tightly to his chest, letting her head fall to his shoulder.
“You aren’t paying them a damn penny, do you hear me? They can go to hell for all I care, but I’m telling you not to give her one red cent.”
“But you don’t understand,” she sobbed. “They are going to ruin your career. You have your practice to think about. It isn’t like I don’t have the money if I move things around. I could take on more work if I needed to. But I won’t let my past come back to hurt you.”
Michael eased Jazz back so he could look her in the eyes. “Listen to me. I have been thinking about retiring anyway. I have someone who is interested in buying my portion of the practice. I wanted to spend more time with you. I was thinking about this long before your mother came into the picture, so don’t for one minute think you have to save me.”
“You want to sell your practice? But you are too young to retire, you’re only forty-two.” She looked at him with confusion written all over her face.
“Sweetheart, you know I have enough in savings and investments to take care of us for the rest of our lives. I’ve grown weary of my work and wanted to think about doing other things anyway. So again, I say, tell her to go to hell.”
“I’m scared, Michael. What if the fans never forgive me for all the trash that is out there about me? A man is allowed to be with as many women as he might want, but a woman being called a slut is a whole different ballgame.”
“I think you might be surprised. But either way, you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. You don’t owe an explanation about your life to a single person unless you decide they need to know. Otherwise, it is yours to decide.”
“She said we have until next Wednesday and then they are going to come after me.”
“You know what I think? I think you should beat them to the punch. Why don’t we stay until Tuesday evening. Wednesday morning you could come out with your own story and tell the world what you want them to know in your own words. You don’t have to, this isn’t an order, but you could. It might just set you free.” The press would have a heyday with them, but at least the story would come out on her terms and nobody else’s.
“But we can stay here through the weekend? It’s so beautiful, and we so rarely get out of the city. I need a few more days before going back to the shit storm that will be waiting for us in L.A.”
“Absolutely. Now get over here and kiss me.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon sitting by the lake making out like teenagers. Michael felt lighter than he could remember. When he got back to the room, he would send the text that would get the ball rolling on the sale of his portion of the practice.