Chapter 13 #2
“No, they’re not.” And Kaden had been thinking of a piece on the way people pass long car journeys. Playing eye spy and spotting cows.
“What’s that?” Jalis gasped.
“Don’t tread in it. It’s a cowpat. Cow poop.”
“Oh.”
Had he never seen one?
“They’re all over the place.”
Kaden laughed. “They don’t poo in one spot.”
Jalis grinned at him. “Think they can be trained?”
“No.” Kaden reached out to grab his arm. “Keep still,” he whispered.
Jalis moved closer to him, close enough that Kaden could feel the pressure of his body. “What’s the matter?”
“There’s a deer and a fawn over by that hedgerow. See.”
Jalis sucked in a breath. “Oh.”
Kaden loved spotting deer when he was out walking.
It was rare because they were shy but they hadn’t seen or sensed them yet.
Jalis was so close Kaden could feel him breathing on his neck and heat flashed down his spine.
What did messed around a bit actually mean?
What had they done? For a moment, he put himself in Jalis’ shoes.
What must it feel like for him that Kaden couldn’t remember?
Whatever there was between them couldn’t have started long ago because Kaden wouldn’t have cheated on Harris.
So Lixian was important. It was the key.
The deer jumped and bounded away.
Jalis sighed. “No predator, right? Other than people with guns.”
“Their babies might get taken by small predators but yes, people with guns are the main danger.”
They carried on walking and… Well, Kaden wasn’t entirely sure why he did it, what theory he could possibly be testing, but he stopped to fasten a lace that didn’t need retying and watched Jalis choose the correct path of two, the one that led to the village.
No signpost. One track was no more used than the other.
A guess but Jalis didn’t hesitate. Kaden hurried to catch up. How did he know?
“What was it like working in protection?” Kaden asked.
“I didn’t like the person I was made to protect. Different when it was someone I was desperate to protect. But Lanu was horrible. Ungrateful, selfish, arrogant. Didn’t matter though because it was my job to protect him so I did. Until one day I didn’t.”
Kaden glanced at him. “Why didn’t you? What happened?”
“I made a judgement that letting him perish was the greater good. But he didn’t perish and he was determined to make me pay for that with my own life.”
“My God.” Fucking hell! What did letting him perish mean? Other than the obvious.
“You saved me,” Jalis whispered.
“You said that before but I don’t remember. Can’t you tell me?”
Jalis shook his head.
“Was I brave?” Kaden made himself smile.
“Very brave. Not many would have done what you did.”
Kaden moved from pleasure to fear in an instant. “I didn’t…kill anyone, did I?”
“No. I promise you didn’t. You’ve never hurt anyone since I met you. You avoid stepping on ants. You move spiders, not kill them.”
“But I thumped Harris?”
“Well, it was me really. I broke his nose.”
“He thinks I did it.”
“Yes.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Because…he…because he didn’t listen to stop when I wasn’t able to protect you and he wasn’t going to listen then when I could. So I hit him.”
A thought eased into Kaden’s head. A brief flash. A moment in time. Harris holding him down… Beating him. Oh God. His breathing turned shaky. But when he looked for more, he found nothing.
When they went into the pub, Jalis headed straight for the corner where Kaden usually sat with his dad.
“Have you been here before?” Kaden asked.
“No.”
“What would you like to drink?”
“Whatever you’re having. Actually, I need to use the bathroom. You won’t…”
“What?” Kaden asked.
“Leave me.”
Jalis sounded so vulnerable that Kaden found it hard to swallow. “No.”
By the time he was back at the table with the drinks, Jalis was coming out of the toilet.
“This is the lunch menu,” Kaden told him.
Jalis scanned it. “Fish and chips, please.”
“That’s what I was going to have.”
Jalis smiled.
His face lit up when he smiled. Kaden felt his cock react and was glad he was wearing a long jacket. He placed the order at the bar and came back to sit opposite him. He’d been in here once with Harris who’d sneered at the décor. It was dated but Kaden liked its familiarity.
“This is lovely,” Jalis said. “I like all the pictures of the cricketeers over the years.”
“My dad is up there somewhere. I didn’t like cricket.”
“Too much hanging around,” they said at the same time.
Kaden laughed.
“I’ve never played,” Jalis said.
“Lucky you. What did you play?”
“I didn’t play sports at all. We did things in teams. Exercises. Assault courses. Built structures. Solved puzzles.”
“Whereabouts?”
“Long way from here.”
“You’re not going to answer that question.”
Jalis shook his head. “I’ve read your books.”
“You have?”
“I liked them. The first fantasy books I’ve read. I like the idea of the dark and light magic, the strange citadels and the moving tattoos. Are you going to write another in the series?”
“Yes, though I’d like to do something different first. I don’t know what I suggested to Alistair—you know who he is?”
“Yes. You wrote four outlines for fictional work for him. Set in the UK, Afghanistan and Russia. You and he wrote a book about his travels. Going the Extra Mile. He has a lovely dog called Elsie who really likes you. She has soft fur.”
Kaden frowned. “You went with me?”
“Sort of.” Jalis’ face fell.
The food arrived, and they ate in silence.
But it wasn’t an awkward one, more a calmness that settled between them, as warm as the steam rising from their plates.
If Kaden put aside the mystery of the last few days, longer than that, really, since the point that he’d lost his memory, he felt…
content to be with Jalis. The thought came uninvited and he didn’t push it away.
He knew it was unwise, trusting him, liking him. But he did. And the longer he spent with him, the stronger the feeling became that something in his head might unlock, as if memory wasn’t something to be forced, but coaxed back and Jalis was a key that Kaden didn’t yet know how to turn.
That might not make sense. But it felt right.
So he’d made a plan.
One Jalis would like.
One his dad absolutely would not.
“Absolutely not,” his dad said.
Kaden had waited to speak to him until Jalis had gone outside to get logs for the wood burner.
If his dad had remembered seeing Jalis in the hospital, this wouldn’t have worked but he showed no sign of recognition.
Kaden had no way of reconciling the fact that although Jalis said he’d been here with him before—sort of, his dad clearly had no idea who he was.
“What on earth are you thinking? This young man turns up out of nowhere and suddenly you trust him? How did he even know where I lived?”
“I told him.”
His dad’s eyebrows shot up. “You remember telling him?”
“No. But I must have.”
“Kaden!”
“I have to get my life back.” His voice was steadier than he felt.
“If my memory doesn’t return, then it doesn’t.
But I promised Jalis he could stay with me.
I signed that letter. That’s my signature, whether I remember it or not.
” He hesitated, then added quietly, “I like him, Dad. I really like him.”
His dad’s expression softened, just a fraction. “I can’t stand the thought of you going back to that bedsit with someone who might be responsible for what happened to you.”
Kaden was keeping tight hold of Jalis’ confession that Kaden’s being in hospital was his fault. “I spoke to the police and no one was with me in that toilet. I don’t know what happened but there was no one else around. The cameras show that. And I was fine before I walked in.”
He didn’t like lying but he felt he had no choice. Except if the police came with a camera image of Jalis leaving the hospital…
“I’m sure Jalis had nothing to do with what’s happened to me. You’ve seen him. He’s not exactly threatening.”
“You know strength isn’t always visible. Maybe he gave you something? Some drug?”
“No.”
“But you don’t remember.”
“I’m sure that’s not what happened. Please… Just give him a chance.”
A long pause.
“Then don’t take him back to your place. Stay here for a few days,” his dad said. “Separate rooms.”
“Fine.”
“And don’t let him charm you.”
Kaden almost smiled. Too late.
Outside, the sound of the axe was rhythmic.
Kaden rounded the corner and stopped. Jalis had taken off his jacket.
His sleeves were rolled up, his forearms lean but taut as he brought the axe down.
The movement was clean and controlled. Not showy, just competent.
He was making a better job of it than Kaden usually did. He was stronger than he looked.
“Hi,” Kaden called, careful not to startle him.
Jalis turned, smiling, a little breathless.
Kaden stared at the neat pile of chopped wood. “You did all that?”
“Too much?”
“Yes. Come on, fill the basket and we’ll stack the rest.”
Jalis hesitated, then smiled again. “It’s fun. I’ve never used an axe before.”
Kaden laughed. “I know a place that does axe throwing. They want me to work on the content of their website. We could go and give it a try.”
Jalis froze. “Thrown…at what?”
“Targets.”
“Not people?”
“Not people.”
He visibly relaxed. “Then yes. I’d like that.”
What? Sometimes Jalis was very strange.
They both reached for the basket, their hands brushing. Jalis didn’t pull away for a moment. “Let’s carry it together.”
“Okay.”
“How would you feel about staying here a couple more days?”
Jalis glanced at him. “Your dad doesn’t trust me not to do bad things to you if we go to yours?”
“No.”
“I understand.”
And somehow, that simple acceptance felt more intimate than reassurance would have.
“I hurt you once, but I will never hurt you again.”
Kaden believed him.
His dad gaped when he saw the quantity of logs they’d brought in. “Good grief. I wasn’t planning to heat the entire village.”
“Sorry,” Jalis blurted, his Adam’s apple twitching in his skinny throat.
“You should see what we left outside,” Kaden said. “We’ve stacked it for you.”
“Thank you.” Then his dad turned to Jalis. “Thank you, too. Do you like chilli con carne?”
“Do you?” Jalis asked Kaden.
“Yes.”
“Then I do too,” Jalis said.
Kaden opened his mouth to say it didn’t follow that Jalis would like it just because he did, but closed his mouth again. He felt as if he were accumulating clues about the guy but was nowhere near the full picture.