Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” I ASK.
Even though it’s been over ten years since I last saw my uncle, he looks as if he hasn’t aged at all. His skin is still smooth and sun-kissed. His hair is longer than ever, draped to one side and cascading down the front of his body. And he’s just as pleasantly plump, filling out his large tropical shirt and powder blue shorts.
“Eva said you would be at that Pink Unicorn bar,” Tito Melboy says. “I came here because—wait a second.” He stares at Paolo. “Who are you, and why are you dressed as my nephew?”
“Hi.” Paolo waves. “I’m Paolo.”
“Hey, Aaron sent me to check on you,” Kat says, walking up to us from the bar. “What’s the holdup?”
“Rex.” Tito Melboy tsk s as he examines Paolo’s face. “Why did you choose this color palette with this dress?”
Kat gasps. “Is this who I think it is?”
“Uh, can I get out of these shoes now?” Paolo says, flexing one of his feet and nearly falling over.
“Okay, you guys—Kat, this is my uncle; Tito Melboy, this is my best friend and work-wife, Kat; Paolo, yes, you can take your shoes off.” I look back at the Pink Unicorn, checking to make sure Aaron hasn’t come outside for any reason. “Sorry to be so abrupt, but Aaron and I need to be at the restaurant soon for our dinner reservation. Can we save in-depth introductions for another time?”
“Fine with me. I’m on my way out,” Kat says. “That was one hell of a show, Paolo. Maybe more than I ever needed to see, but still.”
“I have a good drag mom,” Paolo says, glancing at me.
“What’s this now?” Tito Melboy asks. “Have you become a mother now, pamangkin?”
“He has indeed,” Paolo says. “And he’s already punished me by making me wear these.” He slips my high heels off and holds them up by the straps.
“I’ll get them back from you some other time, okay?” I say. “Along with my other stuff. And thanks again for what you did for me back there.”
“You’ll make it up to me,” Paolo says before turning around and heading to his car.
“I’m going that way, too. I’ll walk you.” Kat puts her arm around Paolo’s waist. “Have fun on your date!” she says, turning back to me. Paolo keeps looking straight ahead. I watch them leave, getting smaller down the sidewalk to their cars.
Without even turning my head, I know that Tito Melboy is looking at me. I can feel the heat of his stare on my right cheek.
“So you’re back doing drag again, ha?” he says.
“It’s a long story. I can tell you all about it later tonight. You’ll still be around, right?” I ask. “Are you just visiting? Or are you back here for good? I thought you were living in Palm Springs now.”
“I’m back at Dreamland. I started doing a few shows at OASIS, too.”
“Does my dad know you’re back?”
He grunts. “Your mother told him. But he’s not talking to me. You know how he feels about my life choices. It still makes him so angry after all these years. That dad of yours is so hardheaded.”
He’s got that right. I want to tell my uncle how much happier Dad got after I quit drag. And how proud he is of me now that he thinks I’m pursuing a completely different career path. But before I can say anything, my phone buzzes with a text from Aaron.
We’re still doing dinner, right?
“I’m sorry, but I have to run. Aaron’s getting antsy.”
“This Aaron, he’s your boyfriend?” Tito Melboy asks.
“Not exactly. Not yet, at least.”
“And let me guess—he doesn’t know that you are a drag queen.”
“Good guess. Don’t worry, I learned the lesson you tried to teach me. About keeping myself safe. About not letting men see everything about me.”
“I don’t—”
My phone buzzes again. Any second now and Aaron will be poking his head out the Pink Unicorn door, wondering where I am.
“Can I call you later?” I ask, edging back toward the Pink Unicorn.
Tito Melboy nods. “Of course, Rex. I’m just glad to see you again. Ask your mom for my new phone number, okay?” He throws his arms around me, and I’m surrounded by a familiar, soothing feeling that I haven’t felt in years.
“I will,” I say, eventually tearing myself away to head back into the bar.
AARON AND I DRIVE OVER SEPARATELY TO COMAL , about ten minutes from the Pink Unicorn. We get there in what seems like an instant. I’m so preoccupied with the many thoughts running through my head—Paolo’s performance as Regina Moon Dee, Tito Melboy’s reappearance—that I don’t even realize it when I arrive, parking right next to Aaron in the garage.
“Everything okay?” Aaron asks as we walk from the garage to the restaurant. “You’re pretty quiet.”
He looks at me with genuine concern, that same kind look on his face he has whenever he talks to patrons when he works. So many of them unload their problems on him. It’s common enough to do with a bartender, but Aaron actually enjoys listening to people’s problems. He’s a good guy that way. A great guy, even. I should be open with him, too. I should tell him the truth about me. Why can’t I seem to do that?
“I’m okay,” I say. “Maybe a little nervous about meeting your running buddies.”
He places his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re going to love them.”
Aaron cares about me. I know that. If he wants me to meet his friends, then he’s as serious about getting back together again as I am.
Maybe what Tito Melboy said about men liking me only as either Rex or Regina isn’t completely true. Maybe I should trust that Aaron will be able to see and accept all of me. Maybe it’s time to tell him the truth.
If everything goes well tonight, maybe I will.
We enter into the cacophony of the restaurant. Comal, unlike the subdued, romantic AquaMarine, is bustling. Its modern take on Mexican cuisine is extremely popular, so the sleek wooden banquettes, communal tables, and outdoor patio are always packed. The lobby is a mass of people. Aaron makes a beeline to the side, locating his two friends in an instant.
Aaron bro-hugs them both. “Sorry we’re late. Rex, this is Etienne and Miguel.”
Etienne’s jacked body strains against his button-down shirt as he shakes my hand. “Really nice to meet you.” His voice lilts with the musicality of someplace in the French Caribbean. I have a hard time imagining his football-player physique in a running club.
It’s easier to see that Miguel is an avid runner, though. He’s got a slim build in his designer jeans and long-sleeve Henley. He smiles kindly at me. “Aaron says you guys met in Bloomington while you were at Indiana University?”
“We did, indeed,” I say.
“Bummer,” Miguel says.
Aaron laughs at my confused look. “Miguel went to Purdue,” he explains.
“Oh, so I probably shouldn’t be saying ‘Go, Hoosiers’ at any point tonight?” I say.
“Grrrr,” Miguel growls playfully. We laugh.
“Are we waiting for a table?” I ask.
“We have reservations, but they wouldn’t seat us until everyone was here. I’ll let them know we’re ready,” Etienne says, and walks over to the host stand.
“Rex, I understand you’re in biotech?” Miguel asks.
“I work in the legal department at a sustainable resources company. You?”
“Mechanical engineer,” Miguel responds. “At Tesla. Etienne’s there, too.”
“Sounds like a tough job,” I say. “Is he an engineer, too?”
Aaron smiles at Etienne as he rejoins us. “Oh, no,” Aaron says. “Etienne’s job is much harder.”
“What do you do?” I ask.
“Human resources,” Etienne says. “Trust me, I’d rather work on wheels and driveshafts than intervene in employee squabbles.”
“Well, who wouldn’t want to work on driveshafts all day long?” I say. “Yass, give me all of that torque and screwing.”
They stare at me blankly.
“Uh, I mean—”
Miguel laughs. “Nice. You have a cute sense of humor.” He rubs my arm lightly, grinning.
“Oh, ah. Thank you.” I cough and clear my throat. “So where are we on the table situation?”
“They’re a bit behind,” Etienne replies. “There are stragglers at all the four-toppers. She suggested we get some drinks while we wait.”
Miguel motions to the bar. “Shall we, then?”
“Let’s,” Aaron says. “I hear this place has some original cocktails. Maybe I can pick up some new ideas.”
He heads to the bar with Etienne, leaving Miguel and me to trail behind them. I notice Etienne saying something into Aaron’s ear, making him laugh. A small knot twists in my stomach.
A small group at the bar leaves for their table just as we arrive, so we’re all able to snag stools. The bartender—a stylish young femme who looks like one of the Queer Eye guys’ younger brothers—sashays over to us to ask for our orders.
“What’ll it be, sirs? If you need any suggestions, I’m more than happy to assist.”
“We might need a sec,” Aaron says. “Do you have a drink menu?”
“Absotootley,” the bartender says, pulling up some menus from behind the counter and placing them on the counter in front of us. “Just wave when you’re ready, sweeties.”
After the bartender whisks back over to the other end of the bar, Aaron hands the menus to us. It’s surprisingly long, with endless margarita variations. We decide on four different ones.
When our bartender delivers our drinks, we’re about to clink our glasses when he asks us, “Is this a special occasion? Do you guys want me to take your picture?”
We look at each other and shrug wordlessly. Why not? Aaron gives the bartender his phone, and he snaps a few shots.
We scroll quickly through the pics. The three of them nod and go back to their discussion of the Golden State Warriors’ chances for the playoff, while I give the pictures a second look.
As I usually do these days when my picture is taken, I’ve tried to appear butch, posing with my jaw set, forming a smile that’s barely there. It’s closer to a sneer than anything else. Miguel and Etienne look similarly imposing, and Aaron by my side is hunky as hell. We look like four masculine men. I should feel happy about what I see. But I’m unsettled. As if what I see is warped somehow. Wrong.
The hostess approaches us at the bar. “Etienne, party of four? Your table’s ready.”
“Go on ahead,” Aaron says to Miguel and Etienne. “We’ll close up the tab here.” They nod and accompany the hostess while Aaron gestures for the bill.
“You doing okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah, why?”
“I know you’re not into basketball. I’m sorry if you feel left out.”
“Oh,” I say, relieved that that’s why he thinks I looked distressed. “It’s fine. Really. As long as we don’t talk about it all night,” I say, trying to smile reassuringly.
The bill arrives. Aaron slides his credit card inside the check holder. “Want to talk about drag queens instead?” he asks.
“What? No. Why? Are you not happy with Regina Moon Dee? I can give her suggestions, if you or Bryan want her to—”
“No, relax. She’s the best thing to happen to the Pink Unicorn in years. I just thought it’d be a more interesting topic for you. Though, to be honest, I think Etienne and Miguel are like me. Not as into it as you are.”
“I’m not into it,” I say. “I just happen to know Regina.”
“Got it,” Aaron says. “Oh, and one more thing before we join the others.” He reaches out and holds on to my shoulders. My heart starts beating faster. He’s going in for the kiss now. The one I’ve been waiting for. I close my eyes, waiting.
“Miguel’s really into Filipino food,” he says.
My eyes pop back open. “What?”
“I told you his stepmom is Filipino, right? He grew up eating a lot of it.”
“Okay.”
“I just wanted to make sure you had something to talk about.”
“What,” I say, laughing, “are you and Etienne planning on leaving us alone?”
I look at him, waiting for him to laugh with me. He doesn’t. In his eyes, that look of concern resurfaces. “Are you not into him?” he asks me.
“Am I not into who? Miguel? What do you mean? Are you…” Oh no. I take a step back, searching his face, as if I’ll find some alternate explanation for what he’s talking about. My shirt suddenly feels too tight. I undo the top two buttons, but it doesn’t help.
“Are you and Etienne here together?” I ask. “The double-date thing—it’s you and him… and me and Miguel?”
The bill comes back. Aaron signs the bar tab and takes back his credit card. “I thought you knew,” he says. “I told you I thought you’d like one of my friends in particular. Just talk to him. I’m sure you’ll like him once you get to know him.”
The knot in my stomach has now bloomed in size and tightened so hard that I almost keel over.
“Actually, you know what?” My face twists. “That mango margarita hit me kind of weird. Maybe the fruit was bad or something.”
“Oh, no,” Aaron says, “I’ll go ask and see if the restaurant has some antacids.”
“I don’t think those will help.” I grab my stomach with both arms crossed over, hugging myself. “Look, I don’t want to make a bad impression on Miguel. After all the trouble you went through to set us up. Could you just tell them something came up? I need to go be near my bathroom.”
“Yow. Okay.” He goes to give me a hug, but I dodge it, pointing to my tummy, and I exit quickly out the restaurant, hoping at first that Miguel and Etienne don’t see me leaving, and then realizing that I really don’t give a damn if they do.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE I thought I ever had another chance with Aaron,” I say, lying down on my side on Tito Melboy’s futon couch and staring at the wall, where an old stained-glass lamp casts its pretty, mosaic-like light. His studio apartment in the Castro is tiny but cozy. A Japanese folding screen separates his bed from the living space, cluttered with vibrant fabrics all in various states of being transformed into drag garments. “I was so stupid.”
“Don’t say that, Rex,” Tito Melboy says from his makeup area in the living room, an old sewing station with a large vintage mirror. “You’re being too hard on yourself. Here,” he says, putting down his lip liner and retrieving a hot herbal tea from the nearby microwave. “This will calm you.”
“Thanks, Tito.” I breathe in the minty lemon steam rising from the mug. “And thanks for letting me come over. I couldn’t reach Kat or Eva. And Mom wanted to go to bed early tonight.”
“I’m glad to be your fourth choice.”
“You know what I mean,” I say.
“I know,” he says, sitting next to me on the couch. “So what happened? Did he get upset that you do drag?”
“No. It wasn’t that.”
“He was okay with it?”
“It wasn’t that because I didn’t tell him.”
“Ah. So it’s not that he didn’t like Rex because of Regina. He just doesn’t like Rex.”
“Okay, I’m going home now.”
“Joke lang !” he says, tickling me and making me spill some of the tea on the floor.
“Hey, you’re making me make a mess.”
Tito Melboy waves at the floor. “It’s already dirty anyway. Who cares.”
I set the tea down on the coffee table and hunch over, resting my elbows on my knees. “I tried to follow your advice, you know.”
“Which one?”
“What you said about not confusing a guy you like. How if a man is attracted to you as a man, he won’t love you as a woman. And vice versa.”
He shakes his head. “That might not have been my best bit of advice. I think people are more sophisticated nowadays.”
“I was going to tell him eventually, after he got used to the idea. Doesn’t matter now, anyway. I guess there was just something about me he didn’t like. That he didn’t fit with.”
Tito Melboy rubs my knee and then goes back to his makeup station, outlining his mouth with lip liner. “Or maybe it was the other way around, Rex,” he says, smacking his lips.
From the first moment I laid eyes on Aaron, all I ever saw was someone unattainable. And when we finally got together, I thought I’d become someone better, worthy enough to be with someone who was my idea of the perfect guy.
But was Aaron really so perfect? Did it really matter how big a stud he was when there was always something there that I was afraid of? Something that made me not want to reveal myself?
Because there’s someone else who’s seen that part of me and supports it. Adores it, even. Paolo loves the fabulosity that is Regina Moon Dee. I know that.
What I don’t know is how he feels about plain, old Rex.
“Rex,” Tito Melboy says as he puts his wig on, “do you want to accompany me to OASIS? We can chat some more on my break.”
“Thanks, Uncle. But it’s getting kind of late for me. I have to work tomorrow. Thank you for letting me come over, though.”
“Any time.”
“I’m so glad you came to find me,” I say. “Really. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, pamangkin. So very much.”
I slide off the couch and give Tito Melboy a kiss on the cheek. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Call me tomorrow if you want to talk. Or for anything else, okay? I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I promise this time.”
“Good,” I say. “I’ll hold you to that.”