Chapter Seventeen
Bowie
Bowie followed behind Kari, barely making a sound, his mind too full of thoughts about the fact they were about to have a meal in a restaurant.
In public.
Reaching their table, Kari pulled out a seat before the server could do it and waited for Bowie to sit before easing the chair closer to the table.
Wide eyed, Bowie glanced about the restaurant, unsure if this was a wise decision. Wouldn’t folks get the wrong idea? All he could see were couples surrounding them.
The place was way more upmarket than any burger joints he’d ever been in.
In fact, as far as he could tell, this wasn’t really like any place he’d eaten in before, outside of work occasions.
The tables all had checkered cloths and were very much laid out like an old-fashioned American diner.
Dayglo signs and sixties car memorabilia decorated the walls and a jukebox in the corner played sixties swing music.
It was brightly lit, yet there was an intimacy to the table placements, with a decent gap between them to prevent it feeling overcrowded or that anyone was encroaching on their space.
It made it blatantly obvious to Bowie that this was a place folks went on a date. Not a work type thing.
He didn’t say this was about work.
Bowie bit his thumbnail at how he’d missed that, and his animal half had once more picked up on what he hadn’t.
This was all really confusing. What did Kodi mean with his comment about him hurting Kari? Had he somehow revealed that he sometimes pretended there was more between them?
Ask Kari.
I tried that, and here we are.
Bowie worried at the side of the nail, glancing about once more.
The only people he’d ever gone out in public with, when it wasn’t a work thing, were the other PAs.
Although after the visit to the sex club Frey had orchestrated, Bowie had avoided the last couple of trips out.
He saw way more than he’d wanted to that night and ended up drinking cocktails to block out the reality of Jupiter having stuff done to him…
in public! Bowie didn’t need to see Jupiter’s body parts.
No, he most definitely didn’t want that.
Kari, on the other hand…
Bowie felt the sweat gather on his upper lip at what he’d imagined since Kari was in his home.
His place smelled so good, and try as he might to shut off sexy types of thoughts, which had no business being in his head when Kari was being so wonderful to him, Bowie was really struggling as the weeks slipped by and Kari made no decision to leave.
Kari’s behavior made Bowie feel certain things.
Things he hadn’t felt with Rex. Things that were more connected to relationships, or so he thought from what he witnessed between Hollis and Taylin.
Except thinking—feeling—like that, was it taking advantage of how lovely Kari was to him, all the time?
He wasn’t in a relationship, no matter what it felt like.
Bowie told himself he needed to behave, shut out those types of feelings.
Only his animal side didn’t agree they were doing anything wrong with pretending there was more between them than friendship.
Especially when Kari was doing all the wonderful things that made Bowie deep down happy.
“What would you like to try?” Kari questioned, his gaze on the menu he held as a server hovered at his elbow.
Blushing right to the roots of his hair at being caught losing track of what was going on around him, Bowie grabbed for the menu and went with the first thing he read. “The gourmet burger, please.”
Kari glanced from his menu to Bowie, frowning. “Are you sure? It’s got onions on it, and ranch sauce.”
Two things Bowie detested. Oh dear.
He couldn’t have made it any more obvious that he wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t shift his interest from the menu when the heat went up several levels in his face. “Erm… right… no…”
“What about the double cheeseburger with Jack cheese and a side of bacon with extra tomato? That’s what I’m opting for. We could share a side of corn and sweet potato fries?”
Relief was immediate, and Bowie nodded eagerly at not having to figure it out when he had no wish to be an embarrassment to Kari.
Kari rattled off what they wanted and added two sodas along with a shared brownie ice cream dessert that sounded yummy. The server left moments later, after confirming their order, and Bowie shifted on his seat, looking anywhere but at the man sitting opposite him.
“Bowie… can you look at me, please?”
The softness of the request was easy to comply with, even when it made Bowie nervous.
“Bowie, can I ask you a personal question?” His nod was immediate. “When you went to the sex club with your friends, what did you think about what you saw?”
The alarm made him jump to conclusions. Had Kari read his thoughts about Jupiter? “I didn’t look, I swear.”
Kari came forward and reached for the hand that went up to Bowie’s mouth to chew on the thumbnail, a habit he had when anxious. He intertwined their fingers and placed their joined hands on the table.
“Look at what?” Kari’s question held no censure.
“Jupiter. I didn’t. I’m not interested in what was happening like Wilder,” he rushed to say and then paled at mentioning Wilder.
“Bowie, breathe for me. It’s fine, and I’m sorry. I’m not being very good at explaining myself.” Kari sighed heavily, his frown deepening and making him look far older.
When Bowie stopped hyperventilating, the soothing motion of Kari’s thumb tracing gently over the back of his hand continued, easing the tightness in his chest.
“I’ve never had to explain myself to someone I’m interested in before, not like this, because they understood what I like. I’m not doing a good job of it.”
Interested in.
Interested in.
Interested in me.
The words became stuck in his brain, and Bowie shook his head to clear it. “I-interested i-in,” he stammered as it struck exactly what Kodi meant, “in me!”
“Yes.” Kari chuckled. “Is it that hard to believe that I’d be interested in someone as adorable as you?”
Bowie wasn’t sure how it was possible to answer with his heart jack rabbiting and forcing itself up the back of his throat.
The server came with their drinks, and he’d barely set it down before Bowie was reaching for it and drinking half the contents.
“Yes,” he croaked out, making the frown reappear.
“Rex has a lot to answer for,” Kari muttered, leaning over the table, coming close enough that Bowie could smell his aftershave over the delicious food. “Bowie, I’m interested in dating you, but I need you to understand some things about me before you decide.”
Kari is nervous.
How that was Bowie’s first thought was beyond him when Kari had dropped such a bombshell.
Dating. He wants to date us. Us.
“Bowie what’s going on in your head right now?”
“You’re nervous, you’re never nervous,” he muttered.
“I am, because I really want more with you. And what I’m about to discuss with you could stop that from happening.”
Bowie didn’t think there was anything that Kari could tell him that would make that happen. If he believed this was actually happening and he wasn’t somehow at home asleep, dreaming this.
“Are you a serial killer?” he blurted out like an idiot.
Kari’s shoulders shook with the force of his laughter. His eyes twinkled in the lights as he continued to hold Bowie’s hand, despite rocking in his seat.
“No,” he managed between bouts of more laughter.
Bowie found himself giggling with how contagious Kari’s laughter was. It didn’t matter that others were staring, because he was safe with Kari.
The server returned with their dinner, allowing Kari the time to get himself back under control, though he never lost his wide grin.
The distracting scent of the food made Bowie’s mouth water. The server had only taken one step from the table before he picked up his burger and took a big mouthful, groaning in delight at the juicy burst of flavor combinations.
They ate in companionable silence, Kari sharing the fries and corn with Bowie, like he’d do at home. It was all so normal that Bowie didn’t notice how others stared at them.
When the plates were cleared and an enormous glass bowl of gooey chocolate brownie, marshmallows, ice cream and sprinkles was placed between them, with two spoons, Kari returned to their conversation.
“Bowie, have you ever heard about daddy kink?”
Bowie was glad the spoon hadn’t reached his lips when it jerked over the bowl, plopping ice cream out onto the table.
His gaze went to Kari, his mind scrambled worse than eggs.
His automatic response was to shake his head, but he nodded, because he couldn’t lie to Kari, no matter how embarrassed he was.
“You have?” Kari asked, wearing a hopeful expression. One Bowie didn’t understand.
He jerkily nodded, knowing that Kari would ask more questions, because that’s who he was.
“Can you tell me what you understand about it?”
Bowie’s breath hissed out in relief at Kari not asking him why he’d investigated what it involved when he’d heard someone at the sex club call a guy ‘daddy’.
He’d mentioned it to Ziggy, who, it seemed, was very knowledgeable about such things, and he’d explained that daddy kink was a form of roleplay where a person's sexual preference was to take on the role of a nurturing and authoritative figure, which could be called “daddy,” while the other partner embraces a more submissive and dependent role.
Bowie had spent his time avoiding looking at Jupiter and watching the two men that one had called ‘Daddy’.
Something about the dynamic between them left him with an odd feeling inside.
Not uncomfortable, like watching some of the other things happening around him.
No, it wasn’t like that. It intrigued him enough to search the internet for more information.
He reiterated what he'd learned, stuttering his way through it as Kari patiently listened to him. A light in his eyes came with approval and made it easier to catch his breath.
“Did you read up on the differing types?”
This interest seemed so much more than just general conversation about Bowie’s knowledge, but he didn’t get why.
Had Jupiter said something to Kari? Had he seen him watching the couple in the club and thought Bowie was interested?
Did Kari think he was kinky and wanted to know more before he decided fully about being interested in him?
Back was the urge to deny he had again, he just couldn’t lie.
“Yes…” he licked at his drying lips, feeling very self-conscious when Kari gave him an expectant look of encouragement. “There’s age play, which is more about one partner taking on the role of caregiver, acting a bit like a parent when the other person is being ‘little’.”
He never said how he’d gone back to a website repeatedly watching the video clips.
Drawn to the Littles behavior when he could see himself for the first time and worried about what others would think of him.
That was an over-share he wasn’t prepared for.
Especially after how awful Rex had been about his bears.
“There’s a discipline and caretaking daddy that can include elements of discipline. The other types mentioned breeding, and then there was something about a boy being a brat and that daddy being really stern and authoritative.” He scratched at the side of his head.
“Then there was one where the daddy likes to give pain.” Bowie shuddered at how the very thought made him go cold, despite what he’d learned.
It was all done within the context of consent, with respect.
That those involved understood and agreed on the rules and boundaries.
Being hit for being naughty? No, Bowie didn’t think that was a good thing, and he said so.
“Good boy,” Kari murmured softly, holding his gaze.
Good boy…
Is—
He’s a daddy. Kari is a daddy! Bowie said before his animal half could. Bowie scratched at his overheated neck, the spoon in his other hand landing in the bowl forgotten.
“You’re a daddy,” he exclaimed, rather louder than he intended, not daring to look around as he blushed furiously.
“I am.” Once more there was no censure. Nothing in Kari’s demeanor suggested he was angry about Bowie’s loud declaration. “I sit between the first two daddies you mentioned. Since college, all of my relationships have been of this nature.”
Bowie couldn’t get over how Kari was talking, much like he was discussing the weather and not what he liked… sexually. He gulped at the sudden realization why they were having this conversation. “You want me to be your boy!”
He felt faint with how fast he swung his head from side to side to see several couples staring in their direction at his loudness.
“I’m sorry,” he cowered in his seat, hating the thought he’d done something wrong.
“Look at me,” Kari said, not harshly, but definitely in a tone that suggested Bowie would make him happy if he did as he was told.
So he did. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I chose to have this conversation here and not back at your apartment, so please don’t worry you’re in trouble.
You aren’t. I’m not ashamed of who I am and what I like. ”
“Your parents—”
“They know what I want in my relationships. I haven’t hidden this from them because when I introduce my future husband to them, I want that person not to worry about having to act differently in front of them.”
Husband? Bowie’s stomach dropped at Kari having a future husband.
“I wanted you to be fully aware of what I’m into before you agree—if that’s what you want—to date me.”
His mouth hung open at talk of husbands, then it segueing into Kari and him dating. What was he supposed to say to that?
“I can see this is a lot for you to take in. But as I wanted full disclosure before you decide whether dating me is something you’d be interested in, I felt you needed to know this side of me.”