Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Paige
I hold my breath, heart racing, feeling as though the world has stopped as my grandpa steps into the studio, and the tension in the room doubles.
Chase goes stiff and I look between Chase and him, trying to make sense of the mess of emotions.
Chase is standing here, arms at his sides, looking almost…defeated. His eyes are full of guilt and something else, something I can’t quite place. And my grandfather is rigid in the doorway, looking like he’s carrying a weight far heavier than I realize.
The silence stretches between us and I take a shaky breath, feeling a cold tremor run through me.
“Paige,” my grandfather finally continues, his voice steady, and neither of us miss the way Chase shuffles closer to me, almost as if to shield me.
My pulse skips, and I find myself desperate for air, waiting for my grandpa to say more and having no idea how there could be more when there is so much already. He looks at me, and for the first time, I see a flicker of regret in his eyes.
“I told you about the offer and I told you what it meant if the check was cashed,” he begins, and in my peripheral, I catch Chase’s jaw clenching tight.
“But what I didn’t tell you, what he himself does not yet know, is that all of this—the money and the reason behind it—was a test. I was testing him. ” His words hit me like a slap.
I blink, trying to process what he said, but it doesn’t make sense.
“Testing him?” I whisper, meeting Chase’s frown briefly before looking back to my grandpa. My throat is dry, and I’m starting to feel the burden of something heavy settling in my chest.
“I never thought for a second he would take the money, Paige,” my grandfather continues. “It was why I made him the offer when I did, because I was certain you would be his choice, just as I was certain he was who you were choosing. I needed to know he was worthy of you.”
“But I knew.” My head spins, his words washing over me like cold water. “I knew. I’ve known. You had no right, putting him in that position. It was cruel.”
His football career had just come to a sudden, devastating end. He was losing at the one thing he poured his heart into, being forced to drop out after years of dedication. And though I didn’t know it, he was being forced to leave school without the chance to graduate.
He was at rock bottom, I was his only life vest, and my grandpa cut it from his shoulders.
“It was,” he agrees with a sad smile, but he doesn’t apologize.
“I was so certain I was right, that he would tear that check up and throw it away, that I had bought him a ticket to come along with us on our trip. I was going to ask him to come after he spent Christmas with his dad and we would surprise you.” He pauses, shaking his head.
“And then I got the email that the check had cleared, and quite frankly, it about broke me down. I was devastated for you. Sad and shocked I got it wrong. I thought he chose to let you go.”
He holds his hands out, looking around the studio in awe. “But, sweetheart, even in the face of an impossible decision, he still chose you. He chose you in a way I never saw coming. I underestimated him.”
“I don’t want nor do I need you to speak for me.
” Chase frowns, but his voice is low, beaten.
“Especially when you try and make what I did sound noble. It isn’t.
I’m no better than you here. I lied to her.
I kept things from her. I made her question my love for her, and I will forever hate myself for that. ”
His words hit me, and there are so many emotions that I can’t possibly focus on one.
My grandpa steps forward, his shoulders falling.
“That’s just more proof that you are the man I thought you were.
Loyal to a fault. You did those things for her.
You gave her a choice. I told you, son, she needed a man who would offer her the only thing she would ever need, but I didn’t tell you what that one thing is.
It’s loyalty. And I couldn’t find a better example for the trait than what you’ve done.
Sweetheart.” He turns to me. “He deposited that check and requested a refund from the school the moment it processed—something he knew I would be none the wiser to. The money was cleared from my account, that was all I knew, and then he came here and he did this.” He holds his hands out, motioning to the space.
“That doesn’t make it better,” Chase snaps.
“No, but it means you are exactly what I thought you were, Chase Harper. Loyal, to your damn core.”
This is…all too much. It’s so much.
Groundbreaking yet heartbreaking at the same time.
I stand there, staring at the floor, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. I can barely breathe. My chest is tight, my head spinning, and I feel like I’m about to crash under the knowledge of it all. The weight pressing down on me.
I wish my dad were here. He’d know what to say. He always did.
“Paige.” Chase’s voice breaks through the fog in my head, soft and full of regret. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I know you are.”
The air between us is thick, filled with everything we’re both carrying. He did this for me, sacrificed for me. I know that. I see that.
So am I still even allowed to feel hurt? Is that even fair and to whom?
It’s too much all at once.
“What you did…all of this…” I pause, trying to steady my breathing. I shake my head, unsure of what to say next. “It’s just…a lot. This place. All of it.” My eyes move over the studio, and I’m still in wonder at the transformation but also filled with confusion.
He watches me, his eyes full of pain, like he’s waiting for me to break the last little bit of him that’s still holding on.
“Thank you,” I murmur, voice thick, the words tumbling out before I even fully realize what I’m saying. “For all of it.”
His nostrils flare and his chest rises, a silent struggle playing across his face. His lips twist, like he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t.
I take another step away, shaking my head slowly, my own heart aching. “I need to… I need to go. Yeah.”
He nods, his face crumpling with that familiar sadness I hate to see.
I turn away, and my eyes instantly lock with my grandpa’s. I wince at the sight of him, freezing where I stand.
He opens his mouth, but I shake my head.
“No,” I mutter under my breath. “Not right now. I…” I shake my head again.
I need air, I need to breathe, I need to get away.
And so I walk out the door.
Chase
I watch her go, her back disappearing through the door, her footsteps echoing in my mind, the distance between us stretching farther with every passing second. The sound of the door closing behind her is like the death knell in my chest. She just got back and she’s already gone.
I want to call her. To run after her. To fall to my knees and beg her to stay. To tell her how sorry I am, how much I’d give to go back in time and tell her the truth, show her how much I love her, how much I’ve always loved her.
But I stand frozen, my heart a pile of broken glass under my ribs, cutting me from the inside out.
The sound of a throat clearing pulls me back to reality. My eyes snap up, and I find myself face-to-face with her grandpa, not that he deserves the title.
He’s standing there, his gaze heavy, studying me, trying to read and understand my next move, but I don’t give him the time, stepping forward with a low growl that barely reaches my ears.
“Are you going to cause more problems?” I demand.
“Because I will tell you right now, I won’t let you keep her from me.
It should be clear by now that I had no intention of giving you what you wanted.
I was never walking away and that isn’t going to change, so if you are going to try and force it by bringing the law into this, not that I think you have a leg to stand on if you do, be a man and tell me now.
” The words hang in the air between us, thick and suffocating.
I hold my breath, waiting for him to say what will change everything, that will tell me how far I’ve truly fallen. Explain some legal binding he has me in without my knowledge.
His eyes shift, and I see it then. The change in his expression, the hard exterior leaving nothing but the weary eyes of an old man, lonely and tired.
“No, son,” he says quietly, his voice softer than ever before. “Never.”
That breaks me. I want to fall to the floor right then and there, but I don’t. I stare at him, heart still racing, body too stiff to move.
“Then, respectfully, leave.” My voice is firm—more final than I feel.
He opens his mouth like he’s going to protest.
“No,” I say before he can start, the anger seeping in with each word now. “I know what I did, I know what I have to make up for, and I’ll die trying if it comes to that. But what I don’t have to do is pretend that I can stomach the sight of you right now.”
I take a step closer, my insides coiling, clawing at me.
“You’re her family, Mr. Randolph, the only blood she has left.
I hope with everything in me that in time, she doesn’t hold any of this against you.
I might even pray for it, for her sake, but I’m allowed to be angry.
I am angry, so please.” The words scrape my insides.
“Go. And don’t come back to this space until she tells you that you can.
The studio is supposed to be pure, her safe, soft landing, and I think we both know we’ve disrespected it enough. ”
His eyes slope at the edges as he watches me, his voice gruff when he says, “You’re a good man, Chase.”
“I will be one day, and I can only hope she still wants to be there to witness it.”
With a heavy sigh and one last look my way, he leaves, pulling the door closed behind him with a soft click.
And I fall to my fucking knees.