Chapter Eleven
Ekon
His body felt alive in a different way when he was connected physically to Mao’s.
Sex helped give him space from the daily crazy thoughts.
His thoughts and his constant need for Mao, competed with each other when his search for answers continued to elude him and that led to more sex.
And they had lots of it when the forest turned dark and silent when Mao insisted they leave the bunker.
He cupped Mao’s bristly cheeks and drew him closer. The urgency for his mate hadn’t lessened over the last two weeks. If anything, it grew more intense with proximity and made it hard to focus on anything more than how Mao smelled. Looked. Tasted.
“Need you,” he murmured huskily against full lips, rocking against the hard shaft under his slick ass his omega side produced, much to the embarrassment of his alpha sides. Not that Mao seemed at all bothered.
“You have me,” Mao growled, his fingers sweeping down the crease of his ass and sinking in. The feeling of being filled, taken by this man was all-consuming.
His skin prickled with sweat as Ekon pushed up to slip a hand under his balls and nudge the fingers deeper.
“Impatient as always my sweet mate, but you know we go at my pace.”
Ekon groaned in frustration, his brows tugged together as he met Mao’s dark eyes seeing a light of mischief.
Sitting on Mao’s lap as they were it was easier for Ekon to take control, so he did.
He placed his bare feet on the log Mao used as a seat, and rose enough to grab hold of Mao’s fly and drag it down.
Grinning at Mao when his tut was cut short when Ekon took hold of Mao’s erection and without ceremony dropped on it.
He gasped at the fullness and how his body fought to accept what it wanted.
“Gods!” Mao cried out, his eyes full of lust as he grabbed Ekon’s hips in a painful grip that ramped up Ekon’s need to show dominance despite the cock in his ass.
He winked salaciously and squeezed the cock in his ass, feeling the silky hot rod in all the right places. “Hold on, this won’t take long.”
Mao’s mouth dropped open as Ekon felt his magic in the center of his body.
It warmed and spread as he used his desire for Mao to direct the potent power to his ass.
He brought his mouth back to Mao’s and gave him a burning kiss that could set the forest alight as he used magic to squeeze Mao’s cock to mimic him fucking him relentlessly without moving his hips.
“Damn… how… fuck… w-what you d-do to m-me,” he rasped in breathless pants against Ekon’s slick lips. His grip punishing as if trying to hold Ekon still when he wasn’t actually moving.
Ekon’s magic allowed him to ride Mao to completion as his own need to come barreled through him and come spurted over Mao’s chest. Sex was heavy in the night air when Ekon’s head flopped onto Mao’s naked, shuddering shoulder.
They sat wrapped in each other's arms as their skin cooled and their breathing evened out. Mao gently nuzzled into his hair, breathing him in. “Smell so sexy.”
He shivered at the sexy undertone as the hand holding him closer trailed fingers down his spine to where there were still joined. Two weeks of endless days scanning, and this was the reward. Mind-boggling sex at night was their reward.
Each day Ekon’s frustration grew at the lack of finding the file that could give him answers. For example, how he could magically clean himself and Mao without the use of a bathroom. A thought sorted out the pesky lack of bathroom, and Mao’s husky chuckle said he had felt the gentle magic.
“It’s still weird. Feels like air touching me.” Mao rose carefully and placed Ekon on the ground, already reaching for sweats and a T-shirt before Ekon could decide if round two was on the cards.
When Mao offered him clothes Ekon didn’t say anything and nodded his thanks, getting dressed. He sat back down to put his boots on, first brushing off the dirt and leaves.
Aware that Mao was silently observing, he kept Mao in his periphery vision. Tension was in those firm muscles. He exuded unleashed power, Ekon sensed Mao’s animal there just beneath the surface, lurking and watchful.
Mao crouched to tend the fire. It wasn’t unusual but these past few weeks their bond had strengthened so he could easily pick up his… disquiet.
Ekon didn’t have to delve deep to figure out the reasons.
Mao’s interreflection was becoming more apparent while they worked.
What Ekon appreciated about his mate, he didn’t force him to talk or pepper him with questions, and it gave Ekon time to consider what to say.
He had never been one to talk about “feelings.” About himself.
How did he talk about himself when he didn’t know all the answers?
It was confusing when he couldn’t determine what was him and what was the fae inside him.
Except he felt his time had run out. It wasn’t any one thing that Mao did or thought, just this pressing disappointment that came at Ekon at odd times when they were working side by side doing the endless boring task.
He had no clue exactly how many files they’d scanned, but they were in their tens of thousands, and Ekon had learned the first day to touch as little as possible to stop the pain. It was like a thousand little cuts all happening at once when he brushed his fingers over the files of the dead.
Was it their pain he was picking up or that of the previous keeper? Ekon couldn’t find an answer inside him that fit. It joined the pile of others that unsettled him.
“Got macaroni cheese. That suit?”
Ekon blinked his eyes into focus and found Mao held a pan in his hand, standing right in front of him. His searching gaze revealed concern. It deepened daily.
“Yep. I’ll eat anything.” He paused and licked his lips at the curt nod, undecided about it being the right moment to open up. To give Mao what he wanted—needed from him.
Mao stayed where he was, his eyes narrowing, then he sighed, and what looked like disappointment crossed his handsome features before he went to the firepit.
“I can see your disappointment,” Ekon murmured softly, compelled by the strength of his emotions for Mao to speak. Acknowledge they had an issue, even when he wasn’t sure how to fix it.
The sound of the fire spitting as Mao added wood was the only noise as Ekon rubbed at his pant legs staring at Mao’s rigid shoulders.
“I won’t deny it,” he responded after several seconds, only he never shifted his gaze from the fire so Ekon couldn’t see his expression. He couldn’t pick up anything between them right then, and he suspected Mao was blocking him, much as he did to him. “You are hiding from me.”
Spoken quietly, except the words could have been bellowed for the impact. “I’m not hiding.” Ekon didn’t see it like that. Because how could someone hide when they didn’t know what—who they are? “I can’t hide when I don’t know what or who I am.”
He rubbed damp palms up and down his pant legs, staring at Mao who cast a look over his shoulder.
Ekon couldn’t say if it was disbelief or something else.
“They took me when I was barely walking. I have no memory of my parents, none. I can only recall men, too many to count, with implements that caused me pain until I didn’t know who I was.
What I was, except what they made me into.
” His chest hurt as he struggled to breathe at the pressure of his past weighing in on him.
This was why he didn’t do this. It hurt!
His vision blurred while powerful arms wrapped around him, and he found himself sitting in Mao’s lap, tugged tightly into his heavenly smelling chest. “Let it out, don’t hold on to the pain. It will fester inside you.”
Let it out. His laughter came out bitter and twisted.
“If I let it out, I don’t know what I’ll become,” he cried, trembling at the very idea of what would happen.
“What if I lose myself,” he whispered brokenly.
It was his biggest fear. Conrad had come close to it when he allowed what was inside him to be free.
Mao squeezed him tighter as if frightened Ekon would evaporate. “I won’t let that happen. You and I are connected by blood. By fate. I swear we can figure this out together, just talk to me,” he begged.
The presence Ekon felt inside him now more than ever made him question his very existence when there was no record of him. He carried magic, powerful magic, yet it hadn’t saved the magic being. He’d watched and felt him disintegrate into dust that was part of Ekon now.
What did it all mean? If a keeper of all—whatever that actually meant—couldn’t stop his own demise, what use was magic when it didn’t alter the outcome?
Ekon had so much more to lose now and that scared him more than anything.
More than what he would turn into if he unleashed what was inside him.
Ekon dashed a hand over his eyes, sniffing, working to get himself back under control.
Tears wouldn’t fix anything except give him a headache.
“I don’t know what to say,” he confessed in a teary voice.
“All my memories from my childhood are of pain and suffering. I don’t know exactly what is inside me, and that was before the magic being took up residence.
” He used the courage he’d learned to be himself with his friends and peeked up at Mao, stealing a breath. “What if what I am is evil?”
“You’re not,” Mao stated adamantly, he easily handled Ekon to have him straddle his lap. A position his mate seemed to favor. “My panther knows a pure heart and despite what they did to you, they didn’t take the purity of your heart.”
Ekon wasn’t sure about that. He couldn’t even say where that question came from, it wasn’t what was in his head. It was what came out of his mouth, so it was buried in there somewhere. Was it even his question?
Ekon couldn’t be sure.
Slowly Ekon formed an opinion on the magic person over the weeks of scanning. They had known all about what was happening; they had to. Yet they’d done nothing. How could they stay quiet? The more files they’d scanned, the more Ekon couldn’t ignore the fact he could have evil magic inside him.
He had done evil deeds. Been trained to kill without emotion. To take life at the whim of others. “The magic user had all this information and did nothing to stop what was going on. Why do you think that is?”
Mao frowned, the lines around his mouth grim. “I don’t think it’s that simple, Ekon. Magic isn’t something I know a lot about, and I think guessing isn’t the right path to take.”
“The answers died with the fae, and I can’t commune with the dead.” Ekon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Or I don’t think I can.” It was all so fucking confusing. All these questions and not one damn answer.
Mao’s frown deepened. “I don’t suppose it would harm to try?”
Ekon would have laughed if he wasn’t so royally fucked right then. “I wouldn’t know where to start to do that?”
A silence followed, and Ekon picked up something that felt like excitement coming from Mao. “I might know where we can go for answers.” He wore a thoughtful expression.
Ekon’s pulse leaped when their gazes clashed. “Where?”
“My home. Paraguay.”
“But the files—”
Mao nodded. “Agreed we need to finish what we are doing first, then if we haven’t found the answers, we head to Paraguay.”
Ekon took a minute to think. Even if they found his file, it wouldn’t answer the magic question. Would it? It all happened after he was free of the assassin program. Did that mean they weren’t somehow connected?
Christ, his mind whirred with all the unanswered questions. “Okay. We’ll finish the scanning and then consider heading to Paraguay.” It was the best plan.
It’s the only plan.
At least we have one!