Chapter Twelve
Mao
The tension in the bunker was growing. It was the morning of their last day.
Mao went over and picked up the very last armload of files—there was no way he wanted to cause his mate any pain.
Going back to the table they were using, he stacked them on the corner, well away from Ekon, and opened the first one to the first page.
It was a very thin file, so it wasn’t going to take long.
“This is the last lot,” Mao said. He wasn’t quite sure why he felt the need to break the silence, but Ekon needed to be warned.
The expression on his gorgeous mate’s face didn’t change. Ekon just nodded and started scanning. Page by page, file by file, Mao could feel his frustration grow, although he wasn’t sure if it was all his. Ekon had to be feeling something similar—he had to be.
Mao gave his mate his due when the man just kept scanning, one after the other, page after page.
These files were signed off by Andromeda, but then most of them had been.
Honestly, Mao had gotten to where if he didn’t already know that the man’s body was at the bottom of an ocean, he would have dug him up just to kill him all over again.
They kept scanning. The last file was one single page.
Experiment failed. A relatively recent date as well, as in the last twenty years or so.
Ekon scanned it and then put the scanning machine down.
“I remember that one,” he said softly. Shaking his head, he added, “Are you absolutely sure there aren’t any more? ”
It was Mao’s turn to shake his head. “That was the last batch, the very last file. The krakens now have every single record that was in here.” He actually thought some of them might have been done twice, but he didn’t think the krakens were going to complain about that.
Between them, they had handled, laid out, and scanned every page, but it would take a lifetime for Mao to forget the fragments he couldn’t help reading as they’d worked.
And for what? Science? Because if that was the intention, then someone had a fucked-up brain. There were names of people—children—in those files. Each one represented a person whose life had been destroyed in one way or another.
“Are you okay?” he asked Ekon. Because Mao wasn’t. But he wasn’t about to unload on his mate. Mao felt personally affronted by what had been done to so many individuals, except Ekon had lived it. Those records were an indication of his life experience. And we couldn’t even find his damn files.
“I really thought it would be here.” Ekon’s expression didn’t change, but that quiet admission punched Mao in the guts, so bad, he let out a long huff.
Grabbing up the stack of the last files they had done, Mao turned and threw them against the wall, files and papers scattering all over the floor.
It wouldn’t matter. In a matter of hours, the bunker would be gone.
It would all be blown to hell. Not that the thought made Mao feel any better.
He couldn’t give back what his mate had lost.
“Mao?” Ekon’s arm was firm on his shoulder, but the question was obvious.
Mao whirled back again. “Please, never think I’m angry at you,” he growled, his panther coming to the fore. “Never think that. I’m just frustrated, that’s all. We’ve spent weeks scanning thousands of files and for what? You still haven’t found your answers. We still haven’t found your file.
“And while I want to be done with this place, the thought that there could be something else… that there could be more records somewhere else? More people affected…” Mao choked on his words.
“I’m sorry. I should just shut up. You don’t need to hear that from me.
This shit was your life experience. I… I’m just a bystander in all this. ”
“No,” Ekon said shakily. He looked unsure, and Mao never wanted to see that look on his mate’s face again. “You are here with me. I can tell how this affected you.”
“Tell how affected I am? Babe, I’m worried about you.” Mao spun away, pacing ten steps, his panther determined he wasn’t going too far. Neither man nor animal wanted Ekon to think for a second that he caused their upset.
“I’ve spent these weeks with you gladly because you’re my mate. You’re my world. You are everything to me. Because of our bond, I have felt it every time you have flinched when you’ve touched those files, every time you’ve been in pain if you so much as touch a piece of this damn paper.”
Reaching down, Mao picked up a piece of paper from the floor, holding it up.
“This is how I know this place is fucking with you and not me—I can hold this shit.” He crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it behind him.
“I don’t want to, but I can. For you, even the tiniest brush against a single sheet and it’s been like a death from a thousand cuts—a pain I could feel through you every time.
“I don’t know about you, but I’d far rather someone came at me with a fucking knife and let me fight him face-to-face rather than endure the constant pain that you’ve had to go through over the last three weeks.
I’ve been helpless. There’s been nobody for me to fight, nobody for me to protect you from, which is what a good mate should do. I couldn’t do that for you.
“We kept going because you made a vow and I was determined to help you keep that vow. But I also knew you were looking for answers, and they aren’t here.
” Mao kicked at another file that just happened to be near his boot.
He’d be personally glad if he’d never see a piece of paper again. “Aren’t you upset about this?”
Ekon was silent for so long that Mao wondered if he would even answer, but eventually he nodded.
“Fine. Yes. You’re right. Answer me this.
Why were these records kept at all?” It was Ekon’s turn to swing around, waving his arms as he indicated the multiple rows of shelves filled with files.
“What was the point of keeping all this? What was the point of this place? So few people knew it was here. It’s not like somebody’s just going to wander in here unannounced.
In all the weeks we’ve been here, I’ve not heard another person.
Hell, I’ve barely heard a bird, let alone anything else.
If it wasn’t for your well-stocked truck, we’d have starved.
There’s nothing living near this place but vegetation. ”
Mao nodded. Ekon was right. More than once he’d shifted into panther form, his aim to hunt and bring them back fresh meat. It was as if the entire area around the bunker was barren.
“At least if this place is blown up,” Ekon said, “then maybe nature will have a chance to return because what’s here is not natural.”
“What can I do?” Mao moved forward, reaching for his mate, except Ekon shook his head and took a step back warily.
“No, no, not in this moment. As much as I care for you, as much as I feel how much you care through our bond, this thing… I’ve got this thing inside of me and I don’t understand why. My file was supposed to give me the answers.” Anguish poured from him.
“Are we talking about your magic? Is that what you’re describing?”
“I don’t know!” Ekon's shout echoed off the walls.
And while Mao wished his mate wasn’t quite so upset, he did understand.
“It’s like I’m living with another person inside me. And you can’t know how fucking unnatural that is. It’s like this place. I’m worried sick that the eternal fae has taken over my body.”
He turned and met Mao’s eyes. Mao was shocked to see there were tears running down Ekon’s cheeks. “I needed those papers to tell me who I am. What if it’s not even me that you’re mated to and something else? What if it’s the eternal fae?”
“No,” Mao stated firmly. “Absolutely not. My panther knows it’s you.
You’ve always had a being inside of you.
You’re a shifter—you just have multiple animals.
You know what it’s like to shift, the same as I do.
We shift and become the physical manifestation of the spirit we carry inside us. That’s all that is.”
“It’s not,” Ekon insisted, shaking his head.
“This is not one of my animals. If it had been, he would’ve made himself known to me.
This is completely different—a different type of awareness.
Fuck, what if it is the eternal fae? What if when he became a pile of dust, he didn’t die—he just changed bodies.
What if it is his essence inside of me?”
Mao wasn’t quite sure what to say. He’d seen some strange and unusual things living in Paraguay—that was kind of expected. The idea that another person was living in Ekon’s body? He didn’t really know how to make sense of it.
So Mao, because he was blessed with his mother’s common sense, said, “Well, fine, shift into him then. Let him show himself.”
Ekon’s eyes went wide, and he quickly brushed the tears off his face. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s simple. If this all-powerful eternal fae thing is inside of you, then shift. Step back mentally, or however you do it to shift and allow him to come forward. In fact, allow him to manifest because I can tell you I’ve got some fucking things to say to him.
“I want to know why he chose you, out of all these others.” Mao waved his hand at the files.
“I want to know why you were dragged here even before you knew all this shit was going on. Why you? Why now? We’ve both got questions, my beloved mate.
So, if he’s inside you, let him out. Let him stand where you are now. So we can both get some answers.”
“But… but then, I won’t be here,” Ekon murmured.
“Not exactly in body, but I will be, and you’d better believe, I’m on your side.
” Now he’d said it, Mao knew it was the right thing to do.
“If you’re so damn determined that this weird feeling you have inside of you is him, who kept all these records for goodness knows how many years and for who knows what bloody reason, then let’s find out what it is.
You want answers, my beloved mate, and so do I. Let’s do this.”
“If he comes out… what if I can’t come back?”
Mao knew it wasn’t possible, although he could understand Ekon’s concern. He also knew that if the eternal fae was living under Ekon’s ribcage, then he should be able to manifest without changing Ekon’s body at all.
“Just try,” he murmured softly. “This is driving you nuts. And the answers are clearly not in all this mass of fucking paper. So just try. Whatever it is inside of you, if you believe it’s another being, something you can shift into, then shift, my beloved mate, and know that I will take care of you no matter what form you take. ”
The only things Mao could hear for a long moment were the sound of his own heart beating and Ekon’s breathing, but eventually Ekon nodded.
“I do need to know what’s inside me, and the only thing stopping me at all is the fear I won’t come back.
We might be here, except you’ve given me a taste of what our lives together could be like, and I don’t want to lose that.
At the same time, I’m terrified about leaving this bunker without understanding something about this thing inside of me.
I know when we leave here, we’re not coming back. ”
Mao believed Ekon was carrying magic, not a person. But Ekon’s concerns were genuine… and the bunker was going to be blown up, anyway. It’s not like whatever Ekon was, or what he did was going to cause any harm. He’d come to regret that assumption.
“I’ll be here for you no matter what happens,” he reiterated calmly. “Shift into the being you believe resides inside you.”
Still Ekon hesitated. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“You won’t know until you try.” Mao folded his arms across his chest and took a couple of deep breaths of his own, watching as Ekon centered himself.
Ekon turned and faced the files, and for a moment, his entire body shimmered as though he was going to shift into one of his animal sides.
Then just as Mao was waiting to see what form the animal would take, or if it was the eternal fae after all, Ekon’s flung his arms wide, and his mouth dropped open.
A sound emerged—not a yell, or a word, or anything Mao had heard before. It was pure noise, and for a worried moment Mao thought Ekon was literally trying to vomit a being out from his insides.
It was painful to hear, and yet there was a note of triumph in there as well. Ekon’s physical form stayed exactly the same, except there was something…
Papers started flying, then the cardboard files. The shelves shook and then banged together. Even the walls and ceilings trembled.
Nothing touched Ekon, and Mao realized none of the chaos was coming near him either. When the ceiling shakes got worse, Mao tensed, ready to grab his mate and yank him out of there if there was any sign the bunker walls were about to collapse.
Even as he thought it, the hurricane—because Mao couldn’t think of any other way to describe it—became a highly focused tornado, a whirl of air and magic with a very sharp point that struck the wall directly across from where Ekon was standing. The wall gave way…
Well shit. That was unexpected. Mao watched his mate, wondering just how much Ekon was seeing.