Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Amanda was so happy to be going home. She was in the hospital for two weeks, and now had spent two more weeks in rehab. The only thing she wanted was to sleep in her own bed. Well, Nash’s bed, with the man she loved at her back and her beloved dog at her feet.
Waking up in the hospital with no memory of what happened had been disorientating. And kind of scary. But Nash was at her side almost the entire time. He’d made everything so much better. Not necessarily easier, but with him there, she wasn’t as scared as she might have been otherwise.
And it wasn’t just him. It was everyone.
Casper, Obi-Wan, Pyro, Chaos, Edge, Laryn…
they’d all come to see her. They popped in at random times, sometimes staying for an hour or more, other times for just ten minutes, but she was rarely alone.
It meant the world to her that they made the effort to come all the way to the hospital, even when they had just minutes to spare.
She was sure they had better things to do, but they never made it seem as if they were in a rush, or like they were there out of some sort of obligation.
Her room had also been full of flowers, and every time she opened her eyes she was reminded of how many people were rooting for her to get better and back on her feet.
It was difficult to comprehend that Blair had done this to her. That she’d stalked her and hit her over the head with a crowbar. The fact that she was still alive was a miracle.
Amanda still had headaches from time to time, but the doctor said they should eventually fade and not be so debilitating. She hoped he was right.
And today, she was going home. She was more than ready.
The nurses and doctors at the rehab facility were fantastic, but she wouldn’t be sad to say goodbye.
One of the things she was looking forward to the most was being with Rain.
Nash had brought him to see her a few times, and hearing him whine pathetically every time he saw her was heartbreaking.
He seemed to understand that she was hurt, and he needed to be gentle with her, because he simply lay next to her with his head on her shoulder, his hot doggy breath on her neck, content to be petted until it was time to go.
A noise at the door had her turning her head. Nash had finally arrived.
It had been extremely difficult not to ask him to stay with her every night, or be there as much as possible during the day.
He’d already taken enough leave, and he had stuff to do.
She couldn’t monopolize his time, no matter how much she wanted to.
Besides, she’d been busy working her ass off to regain her mobility and walk without looking like she’d been on a weeklong bender.
Nights were the most difficult. The hospital bed seemed too big, the room too empty.
But not having to worry about Blair coming back to finish what she’d started went a long way toward easing any nightmares.
And it seemed as if Nash had more trauma about the night she’d been attacked than she did, which made sense, as she didn’t remember the event itself.
“Hi!” she said, welcoming Nash with a huge smile as he came toward her.
“Hey,” he returned, leaning over where she was sitting up in the bed, already dressed and ready to go. He gave her a gentle kiss. “Ready to be sprung today?”
“More than,” Amanda said with feeling. “The doc said he’d sign the release papers this morning, so hopefully we’ll be seeing a nurse with those before too long.”
“Awesome. Rain is excited for you to come home…as am I. We’ve missed you terribly.”
“I can’t wait,” she said. “I’ve missed you guys too.”
This probably wasn’t the time or place, but Amanda had been thinking about things—Guyana, Blair, her time in the hospital, what she wanted in her life—and she couldn’t wait another moment to talk to Nash.
Before she went back to his place, before she started what she hoped was the beginning of the rest of her life, she needed to clear something up.
“Nash? Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“When I was in the hospital unconscious, after my surgery, you were there, right?”
“Of course. I didn’t leave your side,” he said. “Why?”
“Did you talk to me?”
Nash had sat down in the chair next to her bed and was holding her hand, something he did every time he came to visit. The first thing he always did was reach for her, as if he couldn’t wait one more second to touch her. She loved it.
“Yes. Nonstop. I’ve heard that sometimes people who are unconscious or in a coma can hear what’s going on around them. So I held your hand and talked.”
“About what?”
“Everything. Anything. Nothing. I simply wanted you to hear my voice, to know I was there.”
“I did,” Amanda said. “I heard you. I don’t really remember much of what you said, just your voice in the back of my head.
It grounded me. I had a feeling something was wrong, but everything was dark and it felt as if I was looking down at myself from the outside.
But knowing you were there, hearing you talk to me, it helped, Nash. ”
“I’m glad.”
“There is one thing I distinctly remember though.”
“What’s that?”
Amanda swallowed hard. This could go really well, or it could backfire on her. But she had to know. Had to know if she’d dreamed up something that she really wanted to be true, or if he’d actually said it.
“You saying that you loved me. I mean, I might have been hallucinating,” she rushed to add.
“But it seemed so clear. And it’s okay if you didn’t say it…
but now I need to know either way. Because I’m madly in love with you, and I don’t think I can go back to your apartment, live with you, get closer to you, if you don’t think you could one day come to love me back. ”
Those last words were said quickly, probably because she knew if she didn’t get them out, she wouldn’t say them at all. The last thing she wanted was to go back to her cold, empty apartment by herself, but she would. Because loving this man and not having his love in return would slowly kill her.
In response, Nash stood and hovered over her again. His face was an inch from her own as he spoke. “You heard that? You heard me saying that?”
“I think so?” Amanda said, a little uncertainly.
“That’s amazing. And yes, I said it. Over and over.
I love you, Mandy. More than you’ll ever know.
What happened to you was the worst day of my life, and the days that followed weren’t much better.
All I could think of was that I hadn’t told you how I felt.
That you might die not knowing that you were the most important person in my life.
That without you, I’m not sure I can continue on myself. ”
Relief and joy and love swept through Amanda. She reached up and pulled Nash’s head down, kissing him hard. She wanted to deepen the kiss, craved his intimate touch, but he pulled away far too soon.
“I’m not going to get caught making out in the hospital the day you’re supposed to leave,” he said with a small chuckle.
Amanda pouted.
He laughed some more, then ran a hand over her hair. “I love you, Mandy. You’re so damn strong. The doctor said it’s a miracle how well you’re doing, how fast you’re healing.”
“I love you too, Nash. Thank you for being here. For looking after me, after Rain, I know it hasn’t been easy.”
“I’d do anything for you. Don’t you know that?”
“I do now.”
“I’m shocked that you heard me,” he muttered, as if speaking to himself.
She leaned her head into his hand, still cupping her head.
“I think it was one of the only things keeping me going. I wanted to give up. To give in to the pain. The oblivion. But you wouldn’t let me.
I didn’t want to let you down. And hearing you say you loved me gave me hope and a purpose, since I loved you back. ”
“Amazing,” Nash said softly.
“You’re amazing,” Amanda told him. “I love you so much.”
“It feels great to say the words. I shouldn’t have hesitated to say them before,” Nash told her.
“Well, we’ve said them now and we’re moving on,” she said firmly.
“Yes, we are,” he agreed with a smile.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” a man said from the doorway.
Nash spun around so fast, it almost made Amanda dizzy.
She didn’t miss the way he stood squarely in front of her, as if prepared to protect her from any kind of danger.
She supposed it would take him a while to let his guard down again.
She was determined, in time, to help him relax, to convince him that not everyone around them was out to get her.
“Can I help you?” Nash asked the newcomer.
The man didn’t move into the room, correctly reading Nash’s aggressive body language. “My name is John Keegan. You know me as Tex.”
Amanda’s eyes widened. She remembered Tex. He was the man Nash had been working with to try to find Blair. The man who’d notified the authorities that the little girl found in the park in North Carolina was most likely Bibi.
“Tex,” Nash said with a nod of his head, sounding almost…cold.
Amanda frowned. Why was he being so standoffish? Nash had admired this man. Was grateful for his help.
“I know you probably aren’t happy to see me, but I heard Mandy was being discharged today, and I wanted to come down and personally tell her how relieved I am that she’s okay.”
The men stared at each other without saying anything else.
Amanda let out a quiet breath of exasperation. “Thank you for coming, Tex. It’s so good to meet you. I’ve heard amazing things about you.”
His gaze swung to hers, but he still didn’t move from the doorway. “Thank you. I understand you’re doing well. That the side effects from your injury are minimal.”
Nash snorted under his breath.
That was it; Amanda was done with his strange behavior. “Please move over, Nash. I want to shake his hand.”