Chapter 31
TRAVIS
I’m at MVP with the guys when Hannah walks in. We’re playing shuffleboard and shooting the shit. I’ve been spending so much time at home with her lately, but since she wasn’t going to be there, I decided to hang out and catch up with them.
“This is a nice surprise. I thought you were heading straight to Helena.” I cross the bar to her, a grin stretching across my face.
It falters, slightly, when she doesn’t do the same. In fact, she barely has any life to her at all. She moves, wooden-like, with a blank expression.
Panic and fear lance through me. “Fuck, babe, are you okay? Did something happen?”
My hands go to her arms, and I dip my head to better look her in the eye. Whatever it is, I want to know so I can fix it. I’d move oceans for her.
Her gaze finally locks on mine. Instead of reassuring my worry, it doubles it. “Did you pay for my gym and training fees?”
A new kind of fear settles over me. I knew I was going to have to tell her, of course. This morning, I was prepared to bungle my way through it, but in the hours since, I’ve thought of little else but how to explain the situation. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about this morning.”
“Yes or no, Travis?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes close and her jaw clenches tight.
When she looks at me again, there’s a fiery anger in her expression.
She’s pissed. I hate that she’s pissed at me but it’s so much better than the lifeless look she walked in here with that I’m almost relieved.
There’s my girl. And she is. She’s mine in a way no one has ever felt like mine before.
“I told you I didn’t want you to do that,” she says calm and even, despite the anger radiating from her.
“I know, but—”
“Did you think I wasn’t capable of finding a sponsor?”
“Of course you will.”
“Do you feel sorry for me?” She fires off the questions without letting me explain much.
“No.” Not her specifically, more that anyone has to worry about paying the bills while chasing their dreams.
“Were you embarrassed that people would start associating my failure with you? Hockey Superstar Travis Bennett and His Struggling, Penniless Gymnast Wife!”
“There is no world in which that’s true and you know it.”
“Letting me stay with you, the coffee and muffins every morning, packing my lunches, fixing my Jeep, even this ring.” She lifts her left hand and then lets it drop back to her side.
“And now, you’re paying for my training?
! It’s too much. I can’t let you do it. I don’t want you to do it.
I’m never going to be able to repay you. ”
“I don’t want you to repay me.” I can’t imagine what it’s been like for her, doing it all on her own. She’s worked so damn hard.
“I want that. Don’t you get that?” Her body straightens as she speaks, and she finally loses some of the careful restraint.
We’re far enough away from the guys that they can’t hear her, but no doubt they’ve picked up on something being wrong.
“It’s important to me. You can’t buy your way into my life. ”
Her words feel like a gut punch. I start to tell her that isn’t what I’m doing, but is it? Is some sick, twisted part of me hoping that if I just make her life with me easy enough, she won’t go anywhere?
I don’t want it to be true, but I can’t deny I like my life a lot better with her in it.
“My grandfather left me some money. Actually, a lot of money. Ten million dollars.”
Her brows lift.
I nod, hoping now she sees why I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing while she struggled. I have more money than I’ll ever be able to spend. It’s obscene.
“My mom wasn’t very close with her parents either and my grandfather died when I was five, so I didn’t really get to know him.
But I think he must have been worried I’d end up a spoiled rich brat because he put some stipulations on the inheritance.
I couldn’t access it until I turned twenty-seven, had to be gainfully employed, and… I had to be married.”
I see the information register slowly until a new emotion plays out over her face—shock. Followed by rage.
“Did you tell me this that night? Is that why you wanted to marry me in Vegas?”
“No. Fuck no. I never expected to touch that money and quite frankly, I didn’t want it.” It’s a shitty consolation prize for not having the kind of family I wanted.
“I can’t believe this,” she mutters, not quite meeting my gaze.
“I am in love with you, Hannah. I have been pretty much from the second I saw you. Fuck the rest of it.”
“No. You don’t get to tell me you love me and say fuck the rest of it. It’s important. You should have told me. And you should have listened to me when I told you I didn’t want your money. This isn’t like picking up the tab at dinner. It’s my fucking career. It’s my whole life!”
“I can’t stand by and watch you struggle. Don’t ask me to do that, Hannah. It’s bullshit.”
“It isn’t bullshit. It’s me wanting to stand on my own, making my own success, and taking care of myself. That’s who I am. It’s who I’ve always been.”
My stomach is in knots. I don’t know what to say or how to fix it. I’m desperate for her to look at me the way she did this morning before she left, like she loved me a fraction as much as I love her.
“I don’t understand.” My desperation is making me agitated, and my voice rises. “I love you and I have the means to help you, and you’re fighting me on it. Why? Why is letting me take care of you such a terrible thing?”
“Just because you don’t understand them, it doesn’t make my feelings wrong.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I run a hand through my hair. Fuck!
“I have to go. Kinsley is waiting for me in the car.”
“No. Stay. I’m not explaining any of this right.
” I search for the right words, but she’s already stepping away.
She turns before she gets to the door. Some of the fire in her expression is gone, but I feel her putting more than physical distance between us.
I fucked it all up. And when she walks out the door, my heart is going right along with her.
Three hours later, it’s just me and Shep left at MVP. I don’t think the other guys wanted to leave me in my current state (depressed as fuck), but Galaxy needed to get home to Aidan, D-Low had a date, and Penn was going back to the arena for a goalie meeting.
I’ve sent Hannah three texts but so far, no reply. She should be in Helena by now.
“Should I drive up there and try to talk to her?” I ask him as I toss my phone back on the bar.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I think probably wait for her to text back.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I know he’s right, but I hate this. I can’t fix it if she won’t talk to me.
We sit in silence. My leg bounces and my brain is working hard to unscramble the world’s biggest fuck-up.
“Was it wrong for me to want to make her life easier?” I ask him.
“I don’t think that’s why she’s pissed.”
She’s mad that I withheld the information, for sure, but what she said today sounded like it was more than that. She doesn’t want me to take care of her at all, or she feels like she needs to repay me for it. But isn’t that what relationships are about? I get way more from her than I give.
“Okay, then answer me this. Why doesn’t she want the money?”
Poor Shep is staring at me like he’s hoping I figure it out for myself, so he doesn’t have to. He’s a good friend for staying and entertaining my spiral.
“I don’t know, man, but money is a tricky subject for people. Maybe she just really wanted to do it on her own.”
“Yeah,” I say, but I don’t believe it. There has to be more to it.
I sigh and attempt to stop my spiral for both my and Shep’s sake. “How’s your mom by the way? Wasn’t she having surgery last week?”
“Good. The surgery went well. Thanks for asking.” His mouth pulls up on one side.
“Yeah, of course. Sorry it took me so long.”
“It’s fine. You have your own shit going on.”
“Yeah, but everyone does. You’re my friend. I should have checked in. I know how important your family is to you.” Then it hits me. My stomach drops. “Do you think that Hannah thinks I’m not capable of doing this for the long haul because I’m not close to my parents?”
So much for moving on from my spiral.
His brows lift and he stares at me like he’s trying to carefully consider the question.
“That doesn’t seem like something Hannah would care about. She knows you, and I’m sure she understands it isn’t a typical situation.”
He’s right, but what if…what if deep down it bothers her, even if she doesn’t want it to? She has to have at least thought about it. Does she wonder if it’s my fault? She must. Even I do.
“Fuck. I wouldn’t blame her if she does. I don’t talk to my parents or other relatives, and I’ve lost contact with most of my high school buddies because of schedules and life. And what about all my old teammates? Do you remember Furry?”
“Yeah,” Shep says the word slowly. “He’s at Tampa Bay now.”
“I haven’t texted him once since he was traded last season.”
“So what?”
“So maybe she has a point?”
He tilts his head to the side then gives it a small shake. “I think you’re reading too much into this. She’s pissed because you hid something from her and then did exactly what she asked you not to.”
I hear what he’s saying, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to it.
“I have to fix this,” I say, standing.
“Don’t do anything stupid, man. She’ll be back tomorrow.”
“I know.” And when she does, I’m going to prove to her that I’m the kind of guy that will stick around through the thick and thin. The kind of guy who can make relationships work. The kind of guy worthy of her.